page XX - The Behrend College Collegian. Thursday, April 2, 1998 Hooters, gambling casino to open on Station Road Since the decision was made in January to extend the public water system past campus, various busi nesses have been planning to set up across the street on Station Road. Construction will begin next month for a new Hooters restaurant. Since this is such a popular occupation for female students attending Behrend, reaction to the proposal was met with overwhelming support. Cindy Smith, 01 business, was elated by the deci sion, "It is such a pain to drive 20 minutes to the west side for work. Us Behrend Hooters girls are so fortunate that a branch of the restaurant is so close to school." She went on to say, "This is a restaurant that everyone can enjoy. We are not sex objects, the men who come in really want to talk to us and get to know our personalities. Anyone who thinks that the custom ers are just there to look at our bodies is just plain ridiculous." Fiftieth anniversary feature greased pig, Lifelong dreams of Mary Behrend finally come true by Kenneth Twister staff writer You only turn fifty years old once, right? Of course. And for anyone, it's usually considered a pretty big occasion, something worth celebrat ing. Especially when that special someone is an entire college campus. In this case the birthday boy/girl is Penn State Erie, The Behrend Col lege, and a terrific celebration is defi nitely underway. One of the events the college plans to put on to commemorate is a greased pig chase to take place within Turnbull Hall. There will he five pigs in all and each will be sporting a little Vanilla Ice belongs among top 100 music artists of all time by John Amorose staff writer Last week, VH I polled over a hun dred musicians asking them who's the most influential act of all-time. The interviewees, ranging from ex-Beatle George Harrison to ex-Nirvana drum mer Dave Groel, gave their respec tive top-tens, and VHI compiled a list of the top 100 "music greats." To no surprise, The Beatles topped the list, followed by The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, and so on. There were some notable exemptions, though, from the list of 100. Rock God Ozzie Osborne, and his band Black Sabbath were left out, as well as all of the early Rap acts like The Sugar Hill Gang and Run D.M.C. But to the shock, horror, and might I add, dismay of this reporter, Hip Hop legend Vanilla Ice was disrespectfully snubbed from the list. Is there no jus tice in this world'? Who could forget such memorable early-nineties an thems like "Ice Ice Baby" and "Play that Funky Music," a sample of the K.C. and the Sunshine Band classic, who were unbelievably snubbed as well. I needed answers. I needed the truth. I would have to seek out this pop icon, and find out if he was in deed as shocked as I. I approached Mr. Ice at the Shop and Save in Greensburg, PA. After insuring him that plastic bags would be fine for my groceries, I immedi ately began my inquiry. "Well you see Mr. Amorose, this is Of course, the new Hooters will bring numerous employment oppor tunities to Behrend students. Jeff Miller will be the manager of the new restaurant. He stated, "We are always looking for new Hooters girls. And of course we do not discriminate on the "Dean Lilley was the major catalyst for our new operation. He was extremely pleased that he would not have to drive the two hours to Casino Niagara to satisfy his gambling habits." basis of appearance. We just have to keep in mind the uniform standards. Anyone who does not fit into the uni forms, which arc only made in small sizes, don't fit into the Hooters girl mold. We have to keep our image up." Matt Williamson, 06 International outfit to represent one of the five de cades from 1948 when the campus was founded until 1998. Gerry Lilley, who is chairing the event said, "Oh don't anybody worry about a thing, the little outfits on the pigs won't make them any easier to catch, they're slippery little buggers, let me tell you what." The greased pig chase will be an event for only community members to participate in and the winner will not only get to take his/her pig home but will also win the grand prize of $25, (a splurge in award money this substantial has not been seen since The Collision doled out that much to the first that I've heard of the poll. Frankly, I'm not a bit surprised. I've been gettin' dissed from the get-go. I was just too hip for the scene, bro. I mean, look at the cats on this list: Pink Floyd? Who the hell are they? And this guy, David Bowie. He ripped the Ice Ice Baby bass riff off of "To the Extreme." After informing Mr. Ice that David Bowie did "Under Pressure" a good fifteen years or so before "Ice Ice Baby" was released, and waiting for him to do a price check on Green Gi ant creamed corn, he continued. "Where are all my homies on that list? I don't see Color Me Badd, Bell Biv DeVoe, or C & C Music Factory. Hip Hop's too wild for them. I mean, I'm from the bad streets. Straight up O.G. Jeannette PA, baby. Yeah, word to your mother." After waiting for him to stop dancing in the check-out line, I questioned him on his origins in Jeannette. During his hey-day, Mr. Ice frequently claimed that Miami was his home. "What? That's what I meant. I'm just hangin' out here. You know, to duck the ladies. Look at this hair. No one cuts lines in their hair anymore. And I'm even starting to grow some chest hair. I gotta lay low. The hon eys are just too severe back in Miami. Yeah, word to your mother." I was thoroughly confused by this point. And after patiently waiting for Mr. Ice to stop doing his famed caterpillar dance on the store floor, I demanded business marketing economics, stated, "Hooters will be a great addition to campus life. Any woman who objects to this is just a crazy feminist who probably only wishes she could look like the Hooters girls. A real woman would only be too happy to please Ron Murphy Casino Behrend owner their men." Charles White, 08 DUS, agreed, "Hooters are good. I like Hooters." In addition to the eagerly awaited Hooters, a gambling casino will be in operation by the time students return for fall semester. Since Pennsylvania celebration to wet T-shirt contests the winning suggestion of their name change.) Student involvement will be seen in events like the 50th anniversary wet T-shirt contest, which is exciting be cause not only will it be bringing fac ulty/staff and the students closer to gether but will also be honoring a dream Mary Behrend had of the cam inis when she dOnated the land fifty years earlier. Dean Baldwin, a fifti eth anniversary committee member said, "A formal Dance, an annual tea party, a wet T-shirt contest... all these things are taking the Behrend college a little bit closer to what Mary Be hrend dreamed it would someday be- the truth "You want the truth, Mr. Amorose? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that needs music. Who's going to make it? You? You know deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want Vanilla Ice. You need Va nilla Ice. Where would Arsenio Hall have been without jokes about me? Besides, I get five twenty-five an hour "Where are all my homies on that list? I don't see Color Me Badd, Bell Biv DeVoe, or C & C Music Factory. Hip Hop's too wild for them. I mean, I'm from the bad streets. Straight up O.G. Jeannette PA, baby." here, and my boss lets me where this shiny gold suit I wore on MTV back in the 9-2. Yeah, word to your mother!" Sensing a need to decrease the ob vious tension in the air, I moved to Mr. Ice's plans for the future. "Well, I'm due for another raise soon. Hell, maybe even middle-man agement. That's when the ducats start flowin' again. Don't worry, Mr. Amorose, there's gonna be another V.I.P. album. I figured the world's waited long enough. You know me man, 'to the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal, light up a stage, and wax a News repealed the law prohibiting gam bling, owners of casinos have bidding for the chance to set up near a college campus Ron Murphy, owner of the pro posed casino stated, "A college cam pus is really an ideal place for a ca sino. Students are the perfect group as gambling customers. We are look ing forward to a lot of business." He continued bo saying, "Dean Lilley was the major catalyst for our new operation. He was extremely pleased that he would not have to drive the two hours to Casino Niagara to sat isfy his gambling habits." Students are also enthusiastic about the new casino. Jon Hamilton, 02 Styrofoam engineering, "Gambling is fun, I hope it is close to the Hooters. I don't want to walk too far." Mark Findlen, 07 general studies, com mented, "I hope there is beer." come." The contest will mostly be taken part in by Behrend students and prizes will be awarded afterwards. The event will be sponsored by the Beta Sigma Beta sorority, which is also where most of the wet T-shirt partici pants are coming from. Veronica Plumber, a sorority member and likely participant in the contest said, "It's the most glorious thing ever to happen at this school, and since most of our sis ters work at Hooters anyway, we feel completely comfortable with parad ing around in wet T-shirts for any fac ulty member, staff, student or com munity member who wishes to look." Features chump like a candle.' I even got McCartney to work with me." What a shocking revelation! That's right, Behrend, you heard it first. There's going to a collaboratory ef fort between Vanilla Ice and the leg endary Sir Paul McCartney. "Paul who? Naw, man, Stooky McCartney. That fat dude who works stock here at night. He said he's got a bomb Karaoke machine with two mics. I've been writing some more of them phat rhymes on my lunchbreaks and stuff. Yeah, word to your mother." My interview, unfortunately, was cut short when Mr. Ice was called over the P. A. system to a clean-up on isle seven. I asked him for one last quote. "Mr. Amorose, you shall no longer take things at second or third hand, nor look through the eyes of the dead, nor feed on the spectres in hooks. You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things from me. You shall listen to all sides and filter them from yourself." 03/2 8 / 9 8 Complainant reported three kangaroos boxing in Lawrence Hall. Rescued two joeys caught in the confrontation and transported them to child care center. 03/28/98 Large snowball rolled in front of Dobbin's loading dock. The big blue truck could not deliver four tons of frying grease. 03/29/98 Office runs out of printed parking tickets due to over 100 cars being ticketed in a half hour. 03/29/98 Peeked in windows of Perry Hall. Found two students copulating. Continued to watch until scene was secure 03/30/98 Student in Niagara discovered with secret zoo in dorm room. Confronted two rottweilers, two goats, three kangaroos, a puffin and a spider monkey. Most animals taken from scene but spider monkey went on its merry way. And with that, Mr. Ice grabbed a mop, tied plastic bags over his shiny black shoes, and disappeared into the bowels of Shop and Save. Musician, bard, poet, savoir of our feeble race; Vanilla !re is none of these. But in twenty years when you all are at your high school reunions, or you meet up with an old college buddy ... well Vanilla Ice probably won't come up. But "To the Extreme" sold over 4 million copies, and I know Vanilla Ice ICE ICE BABY! Which was your favorite Jerry Springer episode? "The one where he said he won't eat beef anymore." "Klanfrontation !" -Mick B. Santa, 04 Home Economics "Teen call girl confronts her pimp." -Provost and Dean John Lilley "I have a bizarre sex job." -Addison Osgood, 02 Art History "My boyfriend dumped me for a blow up doll." -Bambi Lee, 01 Cardboard Engineering Technology Public S afety -Kenneth Twister, 07 Farming damn well that at least a few people reading this bought it. And hearing "Ice Ice Baby," as cheesy and manu factured as it sounds, can take you back to a junior high dance or an eighth-grade make-out party; a sim pler time before worries like semes ter exams and resumes ruled our twenty-something lives. And that's got to be worth something. So word to YOUR motherm!!
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers