THE BONO OF TBE AUTOMOBILE. I m humming along, I nm lingltig a long, I m merrily clipping the miles, Till the road all the way is a ribbon of With a ilnr for the fonppn nntl fttilpn There are homes behind that I passed like tne wind, Their chagrin thev cnnnot conceal, At having to tnke nil the dust that I make, For I am an automobile. 01 where is the car on this giddy old star mat can inn ten me lor beauty and sneed ? It must be allowed I've a right to be protm, Since I'm always the one in the lead. There is nothing so fast in this universe vnst As my bodv of scarlet and steel, The w ind and the swallow behind me must follow, For 1 am an automobile. Minna Irving, in Hunter's Magazine. ( i The True Story W of a Story, fly WJ JJ U VICTOR HAUFf MANN. f r This la the true Btory of a story that will not down. It had Its begin ning more than seventeen years ago, and to all Intents and purposes It Is as fresh to-day as It ever was. In 1891 I was a reporter on a Washington evening paper. On a day In October of that year, during an unusually heavy wind and rain storm that swept over the city, really a hur ricane, a large building on F street that was being erected for a music ball was blown down and several persons were either killed or Injured. In a very few minutes I was on the pot watching the police and firemen In the work of removing the debris and rescuing the victims. I must have sat down upon a green wall, for on my way home from the oITlce that afternoon a friend called my atten tion to the fact that the rear of my trousers was badly marked with plas ter. Now I was particularly pleased with that pair of trousers, for they bad but recently been made for me by a New York tailor, and were the most "costly raiment" that I had ever indulged in. So that evening I left word that when John Quander, a colored handy-man, came In the morning to black the boots and Inci dentally to rouse me for the day's toll, he was to give that garment a very thorough cleaning. The next morning, when John had Tapped on my door the customary length of time, the following conver sation ensued: " 'Deed, sir, 1 can't get them pants cleaned nohow. I done bresh 'em, 'n' use a wet rag, 'n' soap V water, but I can't get 'em clean nohow." "John, have you tried ammonia?" "No, sir, I haven't; but I know they'd fit me first rate." Now I thought then and still think that that was the best pun In the English language, especially as the perpetrator wbb so thoroughly Inno cent. I sent the story with a sugges tion for an Illustration to a leading New York weekly. I received no re ply; but a few weeks later the Btory, with an illustration such ns I had outlined, did appear In another well known periodical. I presume some friend who had heard me tell It had forestalled me, and had reaped the reward I had thought was mine. However that may he, that story Is till going the rounds of the press, and cropping up as a brand-new story with remarkable regularity. A few years ago, when I was in Florida, I saw the story In a Philadelphia paper ascribed to Representative John Bharp Williams. Again 1 saw It In a Chicago daily credited to the son of a famous Milwaukee brewer who had a valet. That was the only differ ence. It has appeared at Intervals In New York, usually laid at the doors of some "well-known visitor at a prominent up-town hotel." It has come to be a part of the stock In trade of many professional Interview ers, who, when short of fresh ma terial, ring It In In their "Hotel Cor ridors" column as told by some Il lustrious guest at a leading hotel. And so It goes. Some fifteen years ago a Washing ton lady told the story at a luncheon, only she finished it up something like this: "John, have you tried cleanollo?" "No, sir, I haven't; but I know they'd fit me first rate." And she wondered why it fell so fiat, for she had heard It told by Elinor McCartney Lane, the novelist and playwright, and always with great success. Mrs. Lane first heard the story a day or two after it "oc curred," and for more than seventeen years now it has occupied a promi nent place in her repertoire. It is the only old story she tells. In the spring of 1907 I was at the Grand Canor in Arizona, and there met a very brilliant young woman from' Los Angeles, who was one of the best story-tellers I have ever known. We swapped yarns to our mutual satisfaction, but I saved "mine own" for the last and best. Finally I sprang it in what I thought was my very best style, but there was nothing doing. In despair I repeated It, accenting the point. Thus: "Have you tried ammonia have you tried 'em on you. See?" With a wistful look across the great chasm she merely said : "Please do not ask me to laugh at that story I had to laugh at it at even dinner parties in San Francisco last winter, and each time the teller Insisted It bad happened to him." ' This summer, when I was In New England, this same young woman sent mt an August number of a pop ular magaslne, in which my story Again saw the light of day. Last winter my brother was at dinner given by the Hen's Society of the Church of the Covenant, which In years gone by has sometimes been known as the "Church of the Govern ment." A gentleman sitting at hlB right told him that selfsame story as having happened to him, and a few minutes later one of the chief speak ers of the evening Incorporated it in his address as a personal experience. I have never seen the story in Lon don Punch, but I am sure that by the time it shall have reached Its major ity, four years hence, the editors will have appreciated its merltB, and that I shall have the pleasure of seeing it iu American papers reproduced, with due credit, from that famous English weekly. Only I am afraid they will substitute methylated spirits for am monia. Now, what I want to know Is this: Will any one now believe that this is really my story, and that It actually happened to me about 7.16 o'clock on the morning of November 24, 1891? In conclusion, let me say that I have ceased telling the story. Har per's Weekly. Has Immigration J Debased Us? : "In .this country," says Professor E. A. Ross, discussing "The Outlook for Plain Folk," in Everybody's, "the thronging in from the backward, be nighted lands hurts socially the call ing and circles that the Immigrants enter. Their habits cause Americans to shrink from them as from a lower caste. Their helplessness invites op pression. Certain official brutalities peculiar to us white peonage, po lice clubbing, , the 'sweat-box,' the third degree,' the convlct-luase sys tem got their start in the nbuse of the friendless alien. Their wage-cutting, 'scabbing,' and strike-breaking foment violence, which leads to the ready bayonet, State constabularies, and the denial of home rule to cities. Their political crudeneBS brings re proach on democratic Institutions. Their clannlshness delivers them to the shrowd boss who gives them 'rep- esentatlon' on his ticket. Finally, our Increasing diversity in blood and tradition, by permitting race preju dice to be played upon, divides and weakens the people in their fight for self-government. "Nor is this all. "The startling inequalities of wealth that have sprung up in a gen eration threaten to establish class dis tinctions hostile to democracy. For the tendency of such abysmal con trasts is this: The ultra-rich vie in extravagance. The spectacle of their baronial estates, princely houses, liv eried lackeys, Sybaritic luxury, and elaborate ostentation Infects even the worthy with the worship of wealth. Success comes to be meas ured by the sheer cash standard. Tho young and ambitious realize it, and shape their course accordingly. Peo ple fall apart into as many social groups as there are styles of living, and forget how to meet their fellows on the level. The rule is, snobbish ness toward those below you, and toadyism toward those above you. The rich are gangrened with pride, the poor with envy. There Is no longer a public opinion, there are only clashing class opinions, Honest labor Is felt to be more disgraceful than mean parasitism. The tolling millions cease to be respected, even by themselves. The upper classes claim and are conceded the right to lead, finally the right to govern. "Such would be the course of tho malady. Unless democracy mends the distribution of wealth, the mal distribution of wealth will end democracy. "And yet summing up the bal ance inclines In favor of democracy. The forces on Its Bide reach deeper; they are civlllzatlonal. The swarm ing in of low-grade immigrants and the mal-dlstrlbutlon of wealth are manageable things. They can be, lu fact elsewhere have been, successfully dealt with by organized society. They are matters for statesmanship. So it is more likely that democracy will cut the roots of privilege than that privilege will cut the roots of democracy. "Let the half-stifled muck-raker, the, faltering soldier of the common good, the down-hearted reformer leave his trench for a moment and climb to the hilltop that looks out on all the peoples and on all the forces of the age. "He will see that 'the lips of the morning are reddening!' " The Walrus' Defenses. A full grown walrus will weigh as much as 2000 pounds; a mountain ous mass of muscle and blubber, says the St. Nicholas. He is armed with tusks of ivory, sometimes two feet in length, and when from his upreared bulk these formidable weapons are plunged downward upon an enemy, they are as resistless as the drop of a guillotine. Such a thick layer ,of blubber lies. under the skin that be is practically clad In au armor im pervious to teeth and claws alike. So, unless the bear is greatly favored by luck, he has. little chance to over throw his antagonist. Feminine Aggression. A New York woman tackled a flee ing burglar so successfully that she was dragged through a window and into a yard some feet below. As she did so well- on her first attempt, a little practice ought to make her eligible for one of the big football elevens. Hay Stacker, We think we have a good dovlce for stacking alfalfa or other hay and fast, too, that might be helpful to some of the readers and farmers and that is to have two four by four pieces of timber thirty feet long that re clear of knots and bolt together t top. Dig a couple of holes In ground a foot deep and fifteen feet apart, opposite each other and place those four by fours In those holes and put two guy ropes one in' each side and pull them up and stake good, but give them enough rope to let them have eight to ten feet each way from straight up and down, fasten pulley at crotch, tie end of one rope at crotch and put a pulley on It and then run it through pulley at crotch and down to another pulley staked good oft at one side of derrick and one horse hitched on end of rope will handle the fork all right. Pur, hoy fork on pulley as shown In diagram. Haul hay or buck It up under guy rope No. 1 and leave der rick lean as it Is and load fork and start horse, and when the fork gets to crotch let horse pull It over and jerk trip rope as It goes, and It will throw hay a good distance. One man can stack after this device and build a stack twelve feet wide, thirty to fifty feet long and sixteen to twenty feet high. When you got fork un loaded pull derrick back, and load again; one man can load fork and trip It with a long trip rope and pull derrick back without getting off load, and a little boy can handle the horse or fork. Stake guy rope No. 2 off a little from one side, not much, just enough so rope rubs stack good on one side, and stake the pulley that horse Is hitched to rope on the other side so it will pull straight and not upset. E. A. McMillan, in The Econ omist. Sheep and Wool. E. D. King, in a recent address be fore the Kansas Association of Im proved Breeders, made this compari son in behalf of sheep and wool pro fits as compared with cows. He said; "One hundred good grado ewes will cost about the same as ten good grade cows, will eat about the same the year through, and at tho same per cent, of Increase will return eighty lambs, worth $4 each, and 1000 pounds of wool, worth $175, as against eight calves, worth $10 each, and 2000 pounds of butter, worth $300. Quite a difference In favor of the sheep, and they will run In the pasture caring for themselves, and any of you who have milked ten cows through the year and band-fed the calves, as you must to get the butter returns, know that there Is a great deal of labor attached to that work. If the farmer does not have the alfalfa or clover to go with his corn, the sheep will thrive admirably upon prairie hay, wheat or flax straw, corn fodder, or sorgum or kaflr corn, but as these are all highly carbonaceous, he should feed some bran or oats or oil meal with the corn to balance the ration. In 1901 my flock was con fined entirely to corn fodder and a half bushel per 100 head dally of a ration composed of wheat and cotton seed meal In equal parts, and did fine. "I fattened some old ewes for mar ket upon cottonseed meal and a very light feed of poor shock corn. Some of the professors whom we consulted i said: 'Don't feed any cottonseed meal to pregnant ewes.' But some twenty head ran with the fattening flock up to lambing and did well anil raised good lambs." Feeding For Egg. Hens will not refuse to lay provid ing the conditions which surround them are favorable for egg produc tion. Of course a ben cannot keep on laying all the time, nor will some hens lay even for a majority of the time, but the farmer who provides the correct conditions of housing, feeding and general management will find that he will not be entirely with out eggs at any time of the year. Of course, it is not the hen's nature to lay at this time of the year, but if she is comfortably housed and well fed, the farmer will find that the hen after all really has tittle senti ment as to just which season she shall produce her eggs. Getting eggs is not entirely a mat ter of feeding, yet if we feed correct ly the hens will not have that as an actual obstacle to laying. Maturity and vigor are two important things In the hens that are to be heavy win ter layers. Keep the hens in a thrlfy, vigorous condition, and be sure and feed a variety. These things count for a great deal toward success. Corn, oats and wheat are the three principal grain feeds, but there are others that may well be fed by way of variety, and the meat and green stuff in some form should never be as- glected. Olve any kind of meat scraps or prepared meat foods, as it pays. Try to keep the hen under conditions as near like those in ex istence at spring time as you can, and you will not suffer severely from an egg famine. This is nothing Impos sible, and, briefly, only means com fortable housing,. a variety of feeds, green stuff and meat scraps, and san itary quarters. Epltomlst. Neglected Agriculture, There are two branches of agri culture which pay larger than any others for the Investments in them In the Central Western States, that are the most neglected. We refer to the dairy and poultry industries. It Is true that in a way they are both pur sued on the farm, but back in the years when butter sold for six and seven cents a pound, chickens $1.00 a dozen, and eggs at five and six cents per dozen, the men on the farm tabood them, and thought these In dustries were too trifling, and they have never gotten over It. It Is a good illustration of the force of early habits, for it sticks to most farmers yet, though dairying and poultry de mands and prices have quadrupled In price In many respects. The ancient cows which made but two or three pounds of butter a week, and the dung-hill chicks that were in the same scant class, probably had some thing to do with forming this habit; but now that we have passed these things by, isn't it time to take notice more generally and to give the most profitable industries of the farm greater and more methodic attention? It is also to be said of the dairy in dustry that it is one of the greatest factors in keeping up soil fertility. Experience has Bhown that where dairying is followed as a leading fea ture of the farm, that the average yield of corn and other crops are de cidedly Increasing.' Corn and corn silage are leading features in the In dustry, as by this method, the greater productions of the farm are returned to the soil to enrich It. Rotating corn and clover, both of which are required In dairying, Insures the nit rogen and humus so essential, In the soil. Clover, or alfalfa where it can be grown, along with corn and corn silage make a good ration for cows, and make good rotations. With these farm crops but little bran and cottonseed meal are needed In dairy feeding to make a balanced ration, Indiana Farmer. Tiling Wood to Reason. The climate has much to do with the best method to be employed In piling green wood so that it will sea son. In the humid sections of the United States, says Farm and Home, It should be plied with plenty of space between the pieces, but In the arid regions it should be piled closer to prevent too quickly drying out and consequent checking of the wood. Fig. 1 shows a very satisfactory method of piling boards, planks and small dimension lumber. ' Inch strips for edgings are placed near each end, and in the middle of the pile. The top course of boards is put on in the form of a root to shed the water. Very UBeful methods of piling ties, posts and other timber are shown in Figs. 2 and 3. In Fig. 2 very little room Is taken up, and at the same time individual pieces of timber touch at very few points, thus permitting air circulation on all sides ot the wood. When quick drying and sea soning is wanted, Fig. 3 shows a bet ter method and the one commonly employed. The prima nohilis, a shellfish found in the Mediterranean, spins a fins silk. BR NON-SPINNING ROPE AS MINING; INVENTION Twisting Prevented by Peculiar Construotlon of Strands. It Promises to Be Useful. A non-spinning rope has been re cently made for use in quarries, mines and similar places where it Is desired to hoist heavy weights with a single rope, says the Washington Herald. With the use ot the rope ot standard design the load has a ten dency to rotate, because the action ot the weight Is to untwist the strands, and this tendency must be overcome by the use of a guide rope, by which the load Is controlled on its journey through the air. As a test a block of marble suspended by the single line was raised from a depth of more than 250 feet without making a halt turn in Its ascent. No guide rope was necessary. In the construction of this rope an Inner series of wire strands Is wound In one direction over a core and an outer series of wire strands Is wound In the opposite direction about the Inner series as a core. The wires which make up each ot the Individual Inner strands are twisted In the same direction as the lay of the strands, but In the outer strands the lndl vldual wires are laid In opposite dl rectlons to the lay of the strands. The number of strands required for the second or outer layer must, of course, be greater than the number of strands In the Inner layer. For this reason the Inner layer has the wires as well as the strands all laid In one direction, as described, there by giving them a tendency to untwist very much faster than if they were twisted in the direction opposite to the lay of the strands. The wires In the outer layer, being laid In an op posite direction to the lay of the strands, do not tend to untwist as fast as the inner layer. The strands in the outer layer, however, counteract the tendency ot untwisting the rope as a whole. When a weight Is applied to the end of the rope the greater number of strands of the outer layer have a ten dency to untwist In one direction, whereas the fewer strands of the In ner layer have a pendency to untwist very much faster In the opposite di rection, and It is found In practice that these two actions almost perfect ly balance each other. ITndley Points Out Danger, President Hadley ot Yale writes: "In the year 1789 the whole French people was In a state of political ex citement. They seized eagerly upon everything sensational. A young journalist named Camilla Desmoullns shared this feeling and took advan tage of It. He wrote a series of arti cles called 'Lamp Post Talks to the People of Paris,' in which he urged that anybody who was not a friend of the people ought to be taken to the nearest lamp post and hanged. He was not himself a bloodthirsty man. He chose his title chiefly because it sounded so picturesque. After a time he saw that they were executing a great many Innocent men and women and began to tell men so. Then .they Bald that he was not a friend of the people any longer, anJ hanged him. This story has a moral for us in America to-day. It shows the dan gers that come to a people which reads newspapers for the sake of ex citement, instead ot for the sake of Information." Sneezing. The custom of saying "God bless you!" after sneezing must be at least as old as the fifteenth century, as a reference to It appears in the first edition of Caxton's "Golden Legend." After describing a certain malady which broke out among the early Christians the result, apparently, of their Intemperate habits Caxton proceeds: "In this manere somtyme snesyng, they deyed; so that when any persone was herd snesyng, anone that were by said to hym, God helpe you, or Cryste helpe, and yet endur eth the custome." A curious super stition with regard to sneezing still lingers in the villages of Devonshire. It has found expression in the follow ing couplet: Sneeze on Sunday morning fasting. You'll enjoy your own true love to everlasting. In the highlands of Scotland it is believed that a newborn child is under the thrall of the fairies until It sneezes. London Chronicle. The Price of Pearls. Consul-General William H. Mich ael, ot Calcutta, reports that a scheme has been set on foot to regulate the Indian pearl market and to prevent a repetition of the disastrous experi ence ot last year, on account of the money . crisis in the United States. An agency is to be formed in India with several branches, and a head of fice at Bombay, to collect pearls and to dispatch them to the London mar ket at a fixed price, but subject to offers. Against these parcels a small advance will be given in Bombay, while the price is being cabled for ta London. The promoters of the; scheme say that there is a great fu ture in store for the Indian pearl in dustry if it can be properly handled. The syndicate intends to extend its operations to the Australian fisher ies. Might Happen. He "Nothing could ever come be tween us, could It dear?" She "I can't think ot a single thing, unless 1 should happen to become engaged to some other man before we get mar ried." 6 trwy Stories. LAMB IK TUB UOKStMO. Peels As li Tear Back Werald stately Break. LeRoy S. Currier, 46 Purchase St, Newburyport, Mass., says: "For years my kidneys gave me trouble. 1 bad dull pains In the small of the back and felt lame every morning when getting out of bed. The' kidney se cretions passed too frequently, compel ling me to cet u often at night. After several remedies that I tried had failed, 1 used a box ot Doan's Kidney Pills. They did their work well. I now have no backache and can sleep splendidly." Sold by all dealers. 60 cents a box. Foster-Mllburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. Municipal Management. Controller Metz's suggestion that city employes do a full day's work every day Is so obvious that It should not have taken years and all the re cent agitation against waste to make public officials think of It. But the employes won't all do a full day' work, for there Is not a full day's work for all of them to do. New York Tribune. Snfo and Sure. Among tho mwllcln s that are recom mended and en iorsed by physicians and nurses Is Kemp's Balsam, the beat sough) eure. For many years It has ben regarded) by doctors as the mHJolne moat likely t euro oouglis, and it has a Wrong hold on the esteem of a'l well-informed people. When Kemp's Balsam cannot mire a oongbj we shall he at a loss to kcow what will. At druggists' and dealers, 25c Dutch Centenary. The Dutch Intended to celebrate the centenary re-establishment of their national Independence by a. world exposition, to be held at The Hague in the year 1913. The expo sition ground and guaranty fund have already been secured. Piles Cored In O (n 14 Days. 1'tto uintment is guaranteed to cure any J caaeof Itfhing, Blind, BleedingorlJTOtnid)gi K rues in o vo ii aaya or money reiunaea. cue. Administering Oaths. A witness before a court In Cam den, New Jersey, declined to take the usual oath, saying "I do not know whether there Is a God or not," and the court excused him. The witness was a hand-writing expert, and says he has been testifying for 20 years, and he was never ruled out before. If one were to analyze the proposi tion involved In this incident, he would probably come to the conclu sion, that a man who didn't believe in the existence of God would be quite as good a witness as the man who did believe there Is a God, and was in constant revolt against him, violating his laws, profaning his name and des ecrating his own life. Why wouldn't a man who didn't believe there is a God come nearer telling the truth than a man who Is constantly defying him by a low and vicious life? It seems we ought to have some change In this court swearing busi ness. It Is terribly misused. We might have a new oath, with a life . duty in it, and a prison alternative projecting fiercely from It. Ohio State Journal. World Wave of Extravagance. Three of the great powers, the United States, Great Britain and Germany, are about to wrestle with the deficit question. The British Liberals estimate the gap between revenues and expenditures which ' parliament must make good by new taxation as $50,000,000, while the Conservatives, after the manner opposition, put it at $70,000,000. The German government wants $118,000,- 000 more revenue at once, and here in the United States we know that when the books are closed at the end of the current fiscal year there will be a deficit of more than $100,000,000. Congress keeps right on aa if there was no such thing as inadequate rev enues. In all three countries big mil itary and naval appropriations are largely responsible for the excess of expenditures, though in neither Great . Britain nor Germany is the proportion of the taxpayers' money devoted to fleets, pensions, and armies as great as in our own. Boston Transcript. LESS MEAT Advice of Fumlly physician. Formerly people thought meat nec essary for strength and muscular vigor. The man who worked bard was supposed to require meat two or three times a day. Science has found out differently. It Is now a common thing for the family physician to order less meat, as In the following letter from a N. Y. man: "I had suffered for years with dys pepsia and nervousness. My physi cian advised me to eat less meat and greasy foods generally. I tried sev eral things to take the place of my usual breakfast of chops, fried pota toes, etc., but got no relief until I tried Grape-Nuts food. "After using Grape-Nuts for the cereal part of my meals for two years, I am now a well" wan.- rape Nuts benefited my health far mr than the $500.00 worth ot medicine I had taken before. "My wife and children are health ier than they bad been tor years, and we are a very happy family, largely due to Grape-Nuts. "We have been so much benefited by Grape-Nuts that It would be un grateful not to acknowledge it." Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to Wellvllle," In pkga. "There's a Rea son." Ever read the above letter? A new one appears from time to time. They are gronlne, trme, and full of bums ksterest. he 1 of 1 he I 0.-
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers