PRETTY MISS KATE. if LOVISC CHANDLER MOUL TOM. Everybody called her "pretty MIs Kate." It was an odd title, and ilia bad come by It In an odd way. A sort of half-witted nurse, whoso one su preme merit was her faithfulness, hnd tended 8iulre Osgood's baby daughter all thro.igh her early years; and sho !t was who had first called the girl "pret ty Miss Kate " It was a small neighborhood, where everybody kuew everybody else; and, by dint of much hearing this title, all the neighbors grew to use It. And, In deed, at fifteen Kate Osgood deserved It She was a tall, slight girl, with a very graceful figure, and w hat a rather fcorsy young man called a stylish ac tion. She had blue eyes not the meaning less blue of a French doll, but deep and lustrous, like the tender hue of the summer sky. She had hair like some Northland princess. It had not a tint of yellow In it, but It was fine and fair, and so light as to be noticeable auy where. Her skin was exquisite, too, as skin must be to match such hair. When any color came to the cheeks it was never crimson, but Just the faint est tint of the blush rose; her Hps alone were of rich, vivid bloom. A prettier creature, truly, seldom crosses this planet; and the few such girls who have lived among us, and grown to womanhood, have made wild work gen erally, using hearts for playthings; and, like other children breaking their toys now nnd then. But pretty Miss Kate was not at the ago yet for that sort of pastime, and her most ardent worshipper was little Sally Green. Thero was a curious friendship be tween these two. It one mny call that friendship which Is made up of blind worship on one tide, and gentle pity and kindliness on the other. Squire Osgood owned the poor little house where Widow Green lived, and whenever there was an unusual prefs of work at the great house above, the family washing used to be ecnt down to Mrs. Green, at the foot of the hill. Many an hour the widow worked bus ily, fluting the delicate ruffles and smoothing the soft muslins, out of which pretty Miss Kate used to bloom as a flower does out of Its calyx. And on these occasions Sally used to carry the dainty washing home, and she nearly always contrived to be permit ted to take It up to Miss Kate's room herself. Nobody thought much about little Bally Green anyway least of all did any one suspect her of any romantic, heroic, or poetical qualities. And yet she had them all; and If you came to a question of soul and mind, there was something in Sally which entitled her to rank with the best. She was a plain, dark little thing, with a short, solid, squarely built figure; with great black eyes, which nobody thought any thing about In her, but which would have been enough for the whole stock In trade of a fashionable belle; with masses of black hair that she did not know what to do with; and with a skin somewhat sallow, but smooth. No one ever thought how sho looked, except, perhaps, pretty Miss Kate. One day, when the child brought home the washing, Kate had been reading aloud to a friend, and Sally had shown an evident inclination to linger. At that time Kate was not more that fourteen, and the interest or the admiration in Sally's face struck tier, and moved by a girl's quick im pulse, she had said: "Do you want to hear all of It, Sal lyT Wait, then, and 1 will read it to you." The poem was Mrs. Browning's "Ro mance of the the Swan's Nest," and it was the first glimpse for Sally Green Into the enchanted land of poetry and fiction. Before that she had admired pretty Miss Kate, but now the feeling grew to worship. Kate was not slow to perceive it, with that feminine Instinct which somehow scents out and delights in the honest admiration of high or low, rich or poor. She grew very kind to little Sally. Many a book and magazine she lent the child; and now and then she eave her a flower, a bit of bright rib bon, or some llttlo picture. To poor Sally Green these trifles were as the gifts of a goddess, and no monk ever treasured relics from the shrine of his patron saint more tenderly than she cherished any, even the slightest, tok en which was associated with the beau tiful young lady, whom she adored with all her faithful, reverent, imagin ative heart One June evening Sally had been working hard all day. She bad wash ed dishes, run her mother's errands, got svpper, and now her reward was to come. "You may make yourself tidy," her mother said, "and carry home that basket of Miss Kate's things to Squire Oegood's." Sally flew upstairs, and brushed back her black locks, and tied them with a red ribbon Miss Kate had given to her. She put on a clean dress, and a little straw hat that, last year, had been Miss Kate's own; and really, for such a short dark little thing, she looked very nice. She was thlrtesn two years younger than her idol and while Miss Kate was tall, and looked older than her years, Bally looked even younger than she was. Her heart beat as she hurried up the bill. She thought of the fable of the mouse and the lion, which she had read In one of the books Miss Kate had lent her. It made her think of herself and her Idol. Not that Was) Kate was like a lion at all no he was like a beautiful princess but ally was such a poor, bumble, helpless llttls mouse; and yet there might bs a ttee, if afae only watcbsd and waited, when she, even she could do prctly Miss Kate some good. And If the time ever came, wouldn't she do It Just, at no matter what cost to herself? Poor little Sally! The time was on Its way, and nearer than she thought She found Miss Kate In her own pret ty room a room all blue, and white, and silver, as befitted such a fair-haired beauty. The bedstead and wardrobe were of polished chestnut, lightly and gracefully carved. The carpet was pale gray, with Impossible blue rosea The blue chintz curtains were looped bark with silver cords; there were silver frames, with narrow blue edges, to the few graceful pictures; and on the man tel were a clock and vases with stiver ornaments. Pretty Miss Knte looked as If she had been dressed on purpose to stay In that room. She wore a blue dress, and around her neck was a silver neck lace which her father had brought to her last year from far off Genoa. Silver ornaments were in her little ears, and a silver clasp'fastened the belt at her waist. She welcomed Bally with a sweet graclousness, a little conscious, perhaps, of the fact that she was Miss Osgood, and Sally was Sally Green; but to the child, her manner, like every thing else about her, seemed perfec tion. "Sit down and stay a while, Sally," she said; "I have something to tell you. Do you remember what you heard me read that first time, when your eyes got so big with listening, and I made you stay and hear it all?" "Yes, Indeed," Sally cried, eagerly. "I never forgot anything I ever heard you rend. That first time It was 'The Romance of the Swan's Nest.' " "Yes, you are right, and I know I was surprised to find how much you cared about it. I began to be interest ed in you then, for you know I am In terested in you, don't you, Sally?" Sally blushed with pleasure till her face, glowed like the June roses In Miss Kate's silver vases; but she did not know what to say, and so, very wisely, she did not say anything. Miss Kate went on: "Well, that very same poem I am going to read, next Wednesday night, at the evening exercises In the acad emy. The academy hall won't hold everybody, and so they are going to be admitted by tickets. Each of us girls has a certain number to give away, and I have got one for you. I thought j-ou would like to go and see me thoro among the rest in my white gown aud hear me read the old verses again." You would not have thought so small a thing could so have moved anybody; but Sally's face turned from red to white, and from white to red again, and her big black eyes were as full of tears as an April cloud Is of rain drops. "Do you mean it, truly?" she asked. "Yes, truly, child. Here is your tick et. Why, don't cry, foolish girl. It's nothing. I wanted to be sure of one person there who would think I read well, whether any one else did or not. And I've got a gown for you, too that pink muslin, don't you know, that wore last year? I've shot up right out of it and it's of no use to me, now, and mamma said I might give It to you. This is Saturday; you can get it ready by Wednesday, can't youT" What a happy girl went home that night. Just as the rosy June sunset was fading away, and ran, bright and glad, and full of Joyful expectation, Into the Widow Green's humble little house. Widow Green wasn't much of a woman, In tho neighbor's estimation. She was honost, and civil, and she washed well; but that was all they saw In her. Sally saw much more. She ww a mother who always tried t make her happy who shared her en thusiasms, or at least sympathized in them; who was never cross, or Jealous, or anything but motherly. She was as pleased, now, at the prospect of Sally's pleasure as Sally herself was; and Just as proud of this attention from pretty Miss Kate. Together they made over the pink muslin dress; and when Wed nesday night came the widow felt sure that her daughter was as well worth having, and as much to be proud of, ps any other mother's daughter that would be at the academy. "You must go very early," she said, "to get a good seat; and you need not be afraid to go right up to the front. You've Just as good right to get close up there as anybody." "Here, dear," she said, "Just take tho shawl. Do it to please me, for there's no knowing bow cold It might be when you got out." "The shawl" was an Immense Rob Roy plaid a ridiculous wrap, truly, for a June night; but summer shawls they had none, and Sally was too duti ful, as well as too happy, not to want to please her mother even in such a trifle. How differently two lives would have come out if she had not taken 1M She was the very first one to enter the pj'ademy. Dare she go and sit in the front row so as to be close to pret ty Miss Kate? Ordinarily she would have shrunk Into some far corner, for sho was almoat painfully shy; but now something outside herself seemed to urge her on. - She would not take up much room this something whispered and nobody, no, nobody at all, could love MIbs Kate better than she did. So she went into the very front row, close up to the little stage on which, the young performers were to appear a veritable stage, with real footlights. Soon the people began to come in, and after a while the lights were turn ed up and the exercises commenced. There were dialogues, and muslo, and at last the master of ceremonies an nounced th reading of "The Romance of the Bwan'it Nest," by Mica Kate Os good. Other people had been Interested In what went before, no doubt; but to Sally Green the whole evening had been but a prelude to this one trium phant moment for which she waited. Pretty Miss Kate came forward like a little queen tall and slight, with her coronet of fair, braided hair, In Which a shy, sweet rosebud nestled. She wore a drees of white muslin, as light and fleecy as a summer cloud, with a sash that might as far as its hue went, have been cut from the deep blue sky over which that simmer cloud floated. A tit tle bunch of flowers was on her bosom, and other ornament she had none. Bhe looked like one of the pretty creatures, half angel and half woman of fashion, which some of the modern French, ar tists paint As she stepped forward she was greeted with a burst of Irrepressible applause, and then the house was very still as she began to read, Hqw her soft eyes glowed, and the blushes burn ed on her dainty checks, when, she came to the lines: "Little Ellle In her smile Choosoth: 'I will have a lover. Riding on a steed of steeds! He shall love me without guile, And to him I will discover That swan's nest among the reeds. " 'And the steed shall be red-roan, And the lover shall be noble, With an eye that takes the breath, And the lute he plays upon Shall strike ladies Into trouble, As his sword strikes men to death.' " She had the whole audience for her lovers before she was through with the poem, and the last verse was followed with a perfect storm of applause. Was she not young and beautiful, with a volco as sweet as her smile? And then she was Squire Osgood's daughter, and ho was the great man of the village. She stepped off the stage; and then tho appfnuse recalled her, and she came back, pink with pleasure. A bow, a smile, and then a step too near the poorly protected footlights, and the fleecy white muslin dress was a sheet of flame. How Sally Green sprang over those footlights she never knew; but there she was, on the stage, and "the Shawl" was wrapped around pretty Miss Kate before any one else had done any thing but scream. Close, close, close, Sally hugged Its heavy woolen folds. She burned her own fingers to the bone; but what cared she? The time of the poor little mouse had come at last. And so pretty Miss Kate was saved, and not so much as a scar marred the pink and white of her fair girl's face. Her arms were burned rather badly, but they would heal, and no perma nent harm had come to her. Sally was burned much more severe ly, but she hardly felt the pain of It In her Joy that the had saved her Idol, for whom she would have been so will ing even to die. They took her home very tenderly, and the first words she said, as they led her inside her moth er's door were: "Now, mother, I know what I took the shawl for!" I said how differently two lives would have ended if she had not taken that shawl. Pretty Miss Kate's would have burned out then and there, no doubt; for if any one else were there with presence of mind enough to have saved her, certainly there was no other wrap like "the Bhawl." And then Sally might have grown up to the humblest kind of toll, instead of being what she is today; for Squire Osgood's gratl tude for his daughter's saved life did not exhaust Itself in words. From that moment he charged himself with Sally Green's education, and gave her every advantage which his own daughter re ceived. And, truth to tell, Sally, with her wonderful temperament, the wealth of poetry, and devotion, and hero-worship that was In her, soon outstripped pretty Miss Kate In her progress. But no rivalry or Jealousy ever came botwecn them. As Sally had adored Kate's loveliness, so, In time, Kate came to do homage to Sally's genius; and the two were friends In the most complete son Be of the word. Kate has realized her dream of a noble lover; but Sally, as yet, loves only Kate. New York Weekly. The Language Used by Cats. A French savant we bellove that's what they call 'em goes Prof. Garner one better, and claims that he can un derstand cat dialect That is evident ly a harder Job than Garner's, for If the doctrine of evolutlorbe true, we are only a few removes from our mon key ancestors, and it shouldn't be wholly impossible to understand tholr dialect. There are some savages whose language, to the ordinary uncultiva ted ear, is very little In advance of the monkey's gibberish, and If we can learn to understand and translate the Jabbering of these savages, we might go further and tell what Mr. Monk is saying. With the cats it is different, for they are not supposed to be In direct line of descent like the monkeys. We are not sufficiently versed in Darwin's the ory to toll Just where the cat butts in among our ancestry, but it must have been a long ways back of the monkeys, which makes it that much harder to understand their conversa tion. This Frenchman, however, pre tends that he can listen at a cat's voice and understand what tine ani mal is asking for every time. That Is getting the art of linguistics down pretty fine, Montgomery Advertiser. The Second .National Bank of Bos ton, Mass., which lately absorbed the Suffolk National of the some city, has now a capital of $20,000,000, ranking as tbe third largest bank in New Bug-land. SHOOTING CANVASBACKS HEAVIEST OF ALL DUCKS, AND MOST DELICATE IN FLAVOR. An Uncrowned King and His Dainty Habits Swiftest Filers In Their Tribe, Being Both Hard to Hit and Hard to KID. Poerless among his kind, the swift est flier, the hardest to find, heaviest of ducks, the canvasback Is the un crowned king of all water fowl, un rivaled In the minds of sportsmen by any other duck, with the possible ex ception of the mallard, says an expert In the Los Angeles Times. Game as the greenhead may be, delicate as Is his flesh whrn a fall of good living has larded his ribs with fat, he Is a lum bering, ungainly fowl In comparison with tbe regal red headed aristocrat of the deep wild celery ponds, and Is never capable of testing the ability of marksmen and the hard-shooting pow er of a duck gun as does hit wedge billed relative. On the south censt the canvasback Is enough of a rarity to make the cap ture of three or four brace of him In a day's hunt the subject for many an evening chat In the club house. The handsome markings and proportions of the drake, or "bull can," as he Is fa miliarly knewn by hunters, are enough to make the bird a much-de-slred member of the bag were his flesh not proverbially fine In flavor. The canvasback of this vicinity lacks the typical and delicate wild celery taste, but the largo body and unfailing sweetness of the moat fully maintain al! canvasback traditions. It may seem Incredible that there was a time in the east, as late as civil war lays, when the "cans" predomi nated In the middle Atlantic states, but it Is a fact that gunners of that time actually changed their blinds and went arter widgeon, bluobllls, and other ducks for a change. There la a well-authenticated Instance of a Vir ginia planter who Just after the war, had trouble with his emancipated col ored laborers who Inaugurated the flrst "strike" on record, because of an exclusive diet of canvasback duck! They refused to come back to work until tholr demands for corn pone and sow at least once a day had been granted! There are several places In the United States, and even in California, where from 20 to 60 canvasbacks may be bagged in a day's shooting. All the gun clubs get a few of them in a sea son, but the Guadalupe club in Santa Barbara county docs more execution among the "cans" than .all others. Bear Valley lake In some years yields good bags, but the stronghold of the edge bills on the coast Is San Franct co bay and the various sloughs adja cent to It Of all the duck tribe only two other members, the teal and the mallard, are as particular In their diet as Is the ennvasback. This leather gourmand will fly a hundred miles if need be to find the peculiar aquaitlc vegetables upon which ho feeds. From five to 10 feet belciw tho surface, upon a sandy mud bottom In lakcB which are full the year around, grows a small plant called by scientists "valltsnerla," and by the hunters "duck celery," or "can vasback weed." It sprouts, matures and germinates under water, and makes its presence known by a glutin ous scum on the surface of the water. When the canvasback finds a bed of it he begins diving for the soft and pulpy weed, bringing It to the surfaco and gorging on it. Other ducks, the widgeon in particular, have been ec cused of robbing the "cans" of their hard-earned food by grabbing the weed from their bills as they come up half blinded by the water, but it is doubt ful if they ever do anything moro than eat the leavings of the bigger birds. The canvasbacks are the swiftest ducks in the air, the handiest in the water, and the most ungainly on land, Tholr flight usually lies In the short est line between two points, and ence under way they often display a dlsre gard for blindB that would turn other ducks. They will often stand for any amount of shooting wllhont forsaking a favorite rescrt, but when in places with which they are not familiar, no bird is more wary. Often they pay no attention to decoys, and will not re spond to the most perfect imitation of their call, which la a sort cf half grunt, half quack. To knock them over as they come whizzing In to. light with wings tense and set Is a knack not picked up in a day, presenting an en tlrely different problem from that Riv en by birds of slower motion. One must lead well and shcot true to stop them, for their muscular, densely. feathered bodies will protect their vitals from shots that would paralyze other ducks. No. 4 chilled shot Is a general favorite for "cans." Canvasbacks when winged often make their escape by a succession of dives and long swims under water with Just the bill exposed. They have been known to lay hold of weeds at the bottom, when mortally wounded, and die there, practically committing suicide a trick r.ot unknown to other varieties of ducks. The ehootlng of canvaBbacks in olves a blind upon a long point, or a sunken box In the middle of a pond, as tbe birds do not like to approach the short line. Decoys are a convenience, though not a necessity If tbe line of flight can be ascertained. The canvasback retains his Individ uallty to a greater extent than does any other duck. "Cans" are seldom found outside of flocks of their own kind. Occasionally they mingle with the redheads, which are very similar In arioarance, though not in habits, The difference in shape of body, bill and coloring between tbe caavasback and redhead Is such that -no one should ver mistake tho birds. Tha canva- back'lB a heavier, sqiiarcr-bullt bird, with a short bull neck, no crest, a red. eye and a long, wedge-shaped black bill. The male has a dark red head. He has moro white on the belly and bark than his smaller relative, the red-head, which has a bright chestnut crest, a yellow eye and a broad blue bill with a black nail. TALKING THROUGH 'PHONE. Suggestions Offered en Proper Method of Transmission. To bo a good telephone talker is something of an art, but in these days It should, by all means, be cultivated as much as any of the methods of po lite conversation. The first requisita Is the proper pose. In all cases the transmitter should be as nearly vertical as possible, with tbe voice funnel so adjusted that It Is on a level with tbe lips when the head Is In the ordinary arched, position of conversation. Then the lips should be held about an Inch away from the funnel and directly opposite Its cen tre. The speaker should talk in a tone slightly above the ordinary conversa tional pitch, about In the same way as If he were speaking to a person across the room. But, more than all, care should be taken to talk slowly and to articulate wlHi tho greatest distinctness; to be deliberate on what one says and to make ample pause at the end of each sentence. The telephone Is such a time saver thnt one, even over a toll lino, need not be unduly worried In being in too murh of a hurry to finish. On the con trary, time and annoyance for one's self and one's correspondent will be saved by talking slowly and allowing a little time for the mental reception of the ideas that one wishes to trans mit Nothing can be more erroneous in tho use of a solid back than to stand at a distance from the instrument nnd endeavor to affect It by shouting at the top of one's lungs. American Tel ephone Journal. QUAINT AND CURIOUS. The onion Is a delicacy of tho mon key. A whistling eel has been discovered In the FIJI Islands. It whistles only when it Is excited. The patients at the Middlesex hos pital In Ixindon. England are enabled to hear the service In several churches by telephone. A Paris paper says that "M. McClel lan, the newly elected mayor of New York, Is the son of the famous confed erate general of that name." When It is considered desirable to extort confessions from prisoners in Russia, there Is secretly administered in their food a drug which makes them delirious. The curfew bell Is still rung from October 11 to March 31 at Burgh and Swincsliead, in Lincolnshire, England, tho day of the month being Indicated by tho number of strokes on the bell. Exploraticn of tho Yenael and Obi rivers of Siberia, which empty Into tho Arctic ocean near Nova Zembla, has shown tl.m to be navigable to ocean steamers a distance of nearly 1000 miles. The average peasant of Macedonia has a net yearly income of only about $50, of which about $17 goes on taxes. It Is a common incident for villagers to cut down their fruit trees to avoid the tax on them. A Btrango bequest, noticeable even among the eccentricities of English wills, has been made by the late Jo seph Gllliott, the pen man of Birming ham. He gave $250 to his gas man of the $800,000 and more he left. A dogs' tailor does a booming busi ness in Paris. The tailor is a lady, and in her reception rooms are fashion books containing designs for dog Jack ets In various colors and materials, from cloth to chamois and sealskin. Sixty-two years ago a man named Jones moved from Kentucky to Dado county, Mo., taking with him his fami ly of 10 children. At a reunion re cently held at Everton 1019 of bis de scendants were present and there aro a few who were unable to attend. Al most all his descendants have married and settled in the samo neighborhood in southwestern Missouri. A broad general classification of tho graduates of the military academy up to date show that West Point has giv en us one president and two candi dates for president, eight presidential electors and four members of the cab inet, 20 diplomatic representatives, 24 members of congress, 122 other federal officers, 18 governors and lieutenant governors, 85 members of state legis latures, 124 civil and 178 military offi cers of states. How the Popular Novel Destroys Forests. It has been estimated that nine nov els had a total sale, of l.COO.000 copies. This means 2.000,000 pounds of paper. We are assured by a manufacturer of paper that the average spruce tree yields a little loss than half a cord of wood, which Is equivalent to 500 pounds of paper. In other words, these nine novels swept away 4000 trees. Is it any wonder that those Interned In forestry look with anxiety upon tbe paper mill? Bclentlflo American's Special Number on "Modem Aids to Printing." LIFE IN THE LITTLE FLAT. . t life In tbe little fist, y. A home on the seventh floor Where a man whn Is fairly fat ' Must be curelitl tn weigh no morel Like an rnglo enped, up there Heron e content mcnl'a in I no! The parlor holds but one clinlr aim me (lining room s nve py nine, When I In I ho bedroom stand I cull reneh from wall to wnllj t have to lirrntho gently nnd Squccse sideways through the linll. There Is room foruiy briirh mid comb And space for- my wife when she CmiMMits to re nuil n nt home O, life in the flat for tne. Chit-ago Record-Herald. HUMOROUS. Monument Man What shall I put on your husband's tombstone, madam? Dejected Widow Oh, say that he was my husband, and that he is happy now. Life. The Daughter Jack promised that if ! accepted blm he would mend his ways. The Mother Humph! I haven't much faith In this repairing done while you wait Brooklyn Life. Hasslt It's strange you're so hard up, old man. I thought you owned half of Swamphurst, and had lots to sell." Haddlt I have; but what I want Is lots to eat Town and Country. Passenger This train Is nearly one hour behind time, Is it not? Guard Yes; but that's all right. Well get In in tho usual time. Passenger What time Is that? Guard Two hours late. Dremer If I could only acquire a nice pile of money, I wouldn't do a thing but travel. Skenier Of course, but maybe the police wouldn't do a thing to stop you. Catholic Standard and Times. "I can't Imagine now you can dislike work; to me It's real enjoyment," said the father to his lazy son. "Yes, fath er," was tho guileless response; "but I don't want to give myself up wholly to pleasure." "Are you sure," asked the captain of Industry, "that you love my daughter?" "Come, I say," replied the duke, "you're not going to be sentimental at your time of life, are you?" Chicago Record-Herald. "Georgle, did you know that I was going to marry your sister?" "Well, I heard her say so, but she's had that idea about so many other fellers that I didn't feet sure about it till you told me." Brooklyn Life. "The musical critic Is kicking be cause he has two big concerts in addi tion to the grand opera." "But I didn't expect him to do the opera the fashion editor will cover that." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Blnks My stars! I heard that you had died of heart failure while drunk. Winks That's a mean, miserable, ma licious Blander. "Then you were not drunk?" "I didn't die of heart fail ure." New York Weekly. "So this Is to be a farewell tour?" "It Is," answered the prima donna. "You mean to cease singing In pub lic?" "Not nt all. Merely that people are to have another opportunity to say farewell to their money." Washington Star. Husband (reading) Old Mr. Hopp son was burled yesterday. Wife Why, Is he really dead? Husband (sarcas tically) The paper doesn't really say whether he Is dead or not. It simply states he was burled. Chicago Dally News. Mr. Goodsole I hear Mr. Stoutley paid $25,000 for a seat in the Stock Exchange." Mrs. Goodsole Land Bakes! He certainly is fat, but I never s'posed ho'd have to pay that much Jest to get a chair made to order." Philadelphia Ledger. "Walt a second," she said, as she stepped Into the store. "Certainly," he replied, and when he had been up town, looked through his mail, spent two hours on 'Change, and taken luncheon at the club, he returned and found her Just emerging from the door. Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. "If the question of population Is a matter of such importance as It seems to be from the discussions I hear," be remarked, "I should think the govern ment would take a census every year." "Oh, dear, no," ho replied. "Why, that would deprive us of the fun of specu lating as to our growth." Chicago Post. "My boy tells me you discharged him," said the late office boy's mother. "You advertised for a strong boy, and I certainly thought he was strong enough." "Madam," replied the mer chant, "he was too strong. He broke all the rules of the office and some of the furniture In the two days he was with us!" Philadelphia Press. He Should Have Known Nero. In the days when Sir Charles Gavan Duffy was a leading figure In Victorian politics there sat In tbe Melbourne parliament a wealthy but not well-Informed butcher. The chief secretary of the day was deprecating the atti tude of the leader of the opposition, whose conduct was, ho declared, worse than Nero's. "Who was Nero?" Interjected the knight of the cleaver, with equal scorn and sincerity. "Who was Noro?" replied the de lighted chief secretnrV. "The honor able gentleman ought to know. Nero was a celebrated Roman butcher." M. A. P. The All Powerful Hat. "Now, my dear,'" said the Indulgent husband, "I have managed to save up enough money to Justify us In building a new home. But, first, I am going to give you a choice between that and the new hat you so much desire." "Well," said the beautiful wife, "you know I can't wear the bouse on my head." Millinery Trad Review. OF 0U1 KAYY tioommsndi Pi-ru na--Olher Prf mlnen! Mn Tastily. Commodore Somcrvllle Nicholson, of the United States Navy, In a letter from 1JW7 It St.. N. W., Washington, D. C, snys: "Your Pertina has been and Is now used by so ninny of my friends and ac. qunlutnnces ns a sure cure for catarrh that I am convinced of its curntiva qualities, nnd I unhesitatingly recom mend It to all persons suffering from that complnlnt." S. Nicholson. The hlirhest men in our nation have given Pernnn n strong endorsement Men of nil classes and stations are qunlly represented. If you do not derive prompt and sat isfactory results from the use of Pe runa. write nt once to Dr. Hnrtman, giving a full statement of your ense, and he will he pleased to give you bis valuable advice gratis. Address Dr. Hnrtmnn. President of The Hnrtmnn Sanitarium, Columbus. O. Ask Your Dr4i;glit far a free Pcruna Almanac for 1904. A Notice of Little Value. Attorney Genera) Knox was visit ing his new farm at Valley Forge, Pa, An old resident of the quaint old Til lage was showing him the sights the rulrncd mills, the Washington head quarters, the old cannon balls, the secret passage. Finally tho villager led Mr. Knox down to the old ford. He pointed out a large stone and said: "This stono, dr. marks the old ford, tn the old days the people Judged the river's height by it. They did not venture to cross when it was submerg ed. We have a story about a black smith of the past to the effect that be once painted on the etone a warn ing to strangers. Ills warning read like this, sir: "Take notice: When this stone Is out of sight it is unsafe to ford the river.'" New York Tribune. Th IT. S. Drpt. of Asrlcnltnr C'vea to Saber's Un's ita heartieat en domement. fV.ier'a New National Oats yielded in 1903 from l.W to 303 bn. ner acre in 30 different StnUs, and you, Mr. Farmer, can beat thin in 1904, if you will. Palwr'e i.ed are pedigree sreda. bred op through careful selection to big yielda. Per Acre. Fslfer's TteardleaTtrvyielded 121 ho. Salier's Homo Builder Porn.... 300 bu. Spelts and Macaroni Wheat.... 0 hu. Snlier'i Victoria Rane 00,000 lbs. Saln-r's Teoainte, tha fodder wonder HM.fKV) lbs. Walter's Billion Dollar Oraas.... 80.000 lha. Salrcr's Pedigree Potatoes 1.000 bu. Now such yielda pav and you can have them, Mr. Farmer, in 1904. SEND IOC. I STAWrS nd this notice to the .lohn A. Salter Seed Co., La Crone, Wia., and you will get tbeir big cataloi nnd lota of farm teed samples free. A.CXJ A man roha himaelf if he doea not make th best of hia time. Section Hand to Cattle King. A conspicuous example of success In the corn belt Is that of Mr. David Gelvln, Maltland, Missouri, who was) working as a section hand In Pennsyl vania in 1869, went to northwest of Missouri in 1870, and began working by the month as a farm hand, and la ter started farming and dealing In cat tle, says The World's Work, H'e now owns several thousand acres of land, worth $100 per acre, which Is farmed under his own supervision, the entire crop being devoted to the feeding of cattle. Here again a large element la his success is his superior ability in buying and selling cattle. He Is prob ably as good a Judge of a bunch, of steers as any man in the west. THREE YEAR3 AFTER. Eugene E. Larlo, of 751 Twentieth avenue, ticket seller In tbe Union Sta tion, Denver, Col., says: "You are at liberty to repeat what I first stated through our Denver papers about Doau's Kidney Tills In the summer of 181)0, for I have bad no reason in tbe interim to change my opinion of the remedy, I was subject to severe at tacks of backache, al ways aggravated If I sat long at a desk. Doan's Kidney rills absolutely stopped my backache. I have never had a pain r a twinge since." Festor-Mllburn Oo Buffalo, N. X, ror aalt by all arogglsta. Price O aata per bos. t I Jill! Jill! cjfc JVj'choteon Af&L ( I A
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers