VALERIA AND THE SPICE MAN, The Romance That Was Woven Into a Rag Carpet. By CLARISSA MACKIE. 'lCopyrlKht. 1910. by American Prea« Asso ciation.) When Valeria Bird was thirty-five years old she emptied all her closets and wardrobes and spread the contents about her room—over the chairs and on the bed or wherever spare afforded. Like all the Birds, Valeria was fond of dress, and "tbo summer 1 had the pink organdie," "the winter 1 tjj're the green cloak" and other lnstamfli were fixed dates In Valeria's memory. Va leria's clothes formed the calendar of _'jer years. ""It's all they're good for," she said decisively. "I'll cut them into carpet rags and make me a handsome carpet. There won't be another like it In Lit tleville." And there wasn't another one that compared with Valeria Bird's rag car pet when it was woven and in place on the sitting room floor. Out in the woodshed was an old loom—Uncle Joshua Bird had been a fatuous weav er In his day—and Valeria had learned how to operate It in the face of Aunt Susanna's strong disapproval. "You'll spread your feet all out of ahape working that treadle. Your Cn cle Joshua bad flat foot to the end of his days from that old loom! You hot ter take It over to the blind weaver. He can do It first rate so long as It's hit or miss"— " 'Tisn't going to be hit or miss." said Valeria stubbornly. "No one could make It this way but mo." When it was completed and the breadths sewed together it made a large carpet, for Valeria had had many garments. Aunt Susanna peered curi ously at the Intricate pattern. "I never see a rag carpet like that. What's that little white square In the middle breadth, and how did you fix it "HAVE YOO LOST ANYTHING V " SHE ASKED SHARPLY. so's all those different colored stripes ■would make squares outside each oth er? And the outside border Is black! That's real tasty!" Valeria smiled proudly. "The white square in the middle is made out of my little frocks, and each stripe out side of it is a year of clothes." "And every year the stripes are wider, showing how extravagant you are getting. But don't tell Tom, Dick and Harry nil about those stripes, be cause any fool could figure out how old you be." Aunt Susanua's voice dropped to a secretive hiss. "Humph! I don't care who knows how old 1 am." replied Valeria con temptuously. Mrs. Bird pursed her lips mysteri ously. "There ain't a soul In Little vllle that knows how old I be." she muttered. "If you want to be staiup -ed as an old maid, Valery, just run around and tell how old you be." "I want to be an old maid," said Valeria calmly as she placed the wal nut center table exactly over the white square In the new carpet. "I'd rather be Valeria Bird and die unmarried than to change my name to any oth er. Think I'd change tny name to Jones or Glbble or Riddle or Smith? Humph!" JtiSt_ as Valeria Bird sniffed con temptuously some one rapped smartly at the side door, and Aunt Susanna creaked across the floor to admit n tall, brond shouldered man with thick hair plentifully sprinkled with gray. He was indeed very handsome, and perhaps his good looks found expres sion in Ills kindly eyes and firm mouth as well as In the physical beauty of these features. He removed his hat with a friendly smile at Aunt Susan na. "I'm selling spices, ma'am. Perhaps* you would like to give nie an order 1 bought out William Kiddle's busi ness. and I've got a perfectly fresh stock." "Come right in," said Mrs. Bird cordially. "I've got togo down to the missionary society, but Valery will give you an order. She had It all made out for Billy Riddle. Where's Billy gone?" "Billy got the gold fever. He's gone out to the Klondike," replied the spice man. wiping his feet carefully on the doormat and then tiptoeing across v aiena's new carpet to a vacant chair. Bis eyes followed Valeria's disapprov ing glance to the floor,.,where hi* shoes had left dusty footprints on three years of bef ; lift. "I'm very' sorry," be said calmly, taking an order book out of one'pocket and a fountain pen from another. He looked expec tantly at Valeria, and his eyes lingered on her soft masses of brown hair and her tender blue eyes. The tender blue eyes changed to steel gray when they encountered the gaze of the spice man, and a flood of color invaded the cool checks to her little ears. Valeria Bird had met that same gianee in tne eyes or many men, but never before had she lost her com posure. Overhead Aunt Susanna's heavy bulk shook the ceiling as sbe hurried to and fro in her preparation for the missionary society. Outside In the grapevines lute robins were feasting on the luscious clusters, and their sweet songs were reminiscent of ear lier springs when Valeria had worn pale blue gowns and held her proud little head aloof from all suitors, re serving herself for some ideal being, one who was handsome and gifted and whose name might be "Montfort" "Valeria Montfort" sounded even a little better than Valeria Bird. "I want some cinnamon and mace," she said at last, "und a bottle of va nilla and some nutmegs." The spice man closed his book and arose to go. "Thank you, ma'am," he said, with hat in hand. "I'll deliver the goods day after tomorrow. Good aft ernoon." "Walt a minute and I'll pay you." said Valeria, leaving the room. When she returned the spice man was crawling about the floor on his hands and knees, examining the stripes with strange Intentness. "Have you lost something?" she asked. He scrambled to his feet, looking ! very much ashamed of himself. I Valeria watched him climb into the [ shining wagon at the gale, and when j It TjatT~3lsappeared In a cloud of dust | she turned and looked at the carpet. For what had the spice man been seek ing? Save for additional traces of sand on the carpet she could see noth ing. Her housewifely soul declaimed against the untidy floor, but she did not brush the sand away. I At lea time Aunt Susanna rustled J home from her society meeting. She j untied her bonnet strings with Impa tient fingers as Valeria brought in the j teapot. j "I beard all about the new spice | man, Valeria." she said breezily. "He's ■ from Comcomupus way. and he's a dis tant relation of yours too. His mother was own cousin to your mother. He ain't never married. He's always lived on the home place and farmed It till last year his mother died, and he's been looking to buy a good business. He"- "What Is his name?" asked Valeria, quietly sipping her tea. Mrs. f '!rd hesitated with spoon pois ed above the sugar basin. Her little dark fell before Valeria's luqulr lng gaze. "John Smith—John James Smith— and It's a very good name, too," said Aunt Susannr defiantly. Valeria said nothing. The next time the spice man c.-.Ued Valeria was alone. When he had set the small packages on the table tin said: "I guess you think 1 ougLt to explain what I was looking for that day when you found me on the floor. I was wondering if there was a stripe of pink that had some cloth in it—pink with little white stars on It" He paused and flushed slightly. Valeria nodded. "There Is a piece like that. 1 used to have a dress like that when I was fourteen years old. All this carpet is made out of my clothes." Mr. Smith's face was eager and glow ing now. "I met you once years ago. You was wearing it I never forgot your face. I was driving a young colt, and you was scared when the colt shield, and you ran to the side of the road and dropped a basket of eggs, and"— "And you got down aid picked up the whole eggs and gave me 60 cents. I've got the 50 cents now." exclaimed Valeria animatedly. Like an instanta neous photograph she saw the tall, handsome young man who had come to her assistance that long ago day, whose appearance had taken her girl lsh fancy and had forever after re mained her Ideal. And in her dreams she had named him "Montfort." "Why did you keep the 50 cents, Miss Valeria?" asked the spice man curiously. "I thought your name was Mont fort," said Valeria impulsively. He laughed heartily. "It's just plain John James Smith." he said, with a certain sturdy pride In his tone. "Now, I wonder if you wouldn't just give me a little piece of that pink calico. I want It for something," be added slowly. Valeria flushed and then knelt down on the floor and sought the pink stripe with the white stars. Recklessly she pulled It out, and the spice man's pocket knife severed a generous sam ple, which he stowed carefully away in his pocket. "Shall I come every week?" he ask ed, pausing In the doorway. "Yes, do," said Valeria, wifta a flush. When Aunt Susanna came home Valeria was sitting with Idle hands beside the window. "For the land's sake! Somebody has tracked fresh mud all over your floor, Valery. This carpet won't last uo while If you ain't more careful." Valeria Bird looked down at the thin pink stripe at her feet. "I don't care." she said, with a dreamy smile. "For the land"— began Aunt Su sanna again: then she looked at Va leria nud did not finish the sentence. The Retort Courteous. "Camp Meeting" John Alleu was a famous Methodist preacher und reviv alist of the old days down In Maiue, and, like most successful pulpit ora tors, Ids sense of humor was equal to his gift of speech. It Is recalled by the Boston Journal that on one occuslon the old gentle man's wife was getting Into u carriage, and he neglected to assist her. "You are not as gallant, John, as wheu you were a boy!" she exclaimed In gentle rebuke. "No," was his ready response, "and you are not as buoyant as when yoo were a gal!" ' Anniversary of Lincoln Convention. The fiftieth anniversary of the Re publican national convention In Chica go which nominated Abraham Lincoln for the presidency, known as the "wig wam convention," will be celebrated at Chicago by the members of the Lin coln League of Illinois on May 16, IT and 18. A good deed Is never lost. He who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love. WASHINGTON'S DECISION, How the General Settled a Point of Military Law. By EVAN C. MATHEWS. {Copyright. 1910, by American Preaa Ano ciatlon.] "Where are you going, daughter?" "I am going to skate down the river toward West Point to meet Jlmmle." This bit, of dialogue occurred in a house located but a few hundred yards from Washington's headquarters at Newburg. Colonel Cogswell hastened to head quarters, where he Joined the general,, who was busjr over reports of assist ants authorized to collect commissary and quartermaster's stores. Kathertne, leaving the high ground, descended to the river bank, where she put on ber skates, then, with her hands In ber muff, skated gracefully southward. Meanwhile James Muldrough, lieu tenant In the Continental nrtillery, sta tioned at West Point, having been do- DRAGS THE Olid, OUT Of THE WATER. layed by some details pertaining to his duties, started to meet his sweetheart. He had barely reached the village of Cornwall when he saw far !n the dis tance a dim figure willed the quick eye t>f love told him was Katherlue. There was but one other person visible to him on the Ice, and thut was a man who had just started from the west bank and was pursuing a course di rectly across the river. Then Muldrough saw something that filled him with hor - or. The girl's fig ure, while he looked at It, suddenly disappeared. There was no obstacle between him and her, he knew that she had skated into a dreaded air hole. Too far from her to assist ber, It seemed Impossible that she should escape death unless it might bo that she could gci her hands on firm ice. There was scarcely a ray of hope. But hold! The man crossing the river sees the accident. He Is but a short distance from the point where sbe has fallen. He changes his direc tion and skates rapidly over the 500 yards that separate them. He lies flat on the Ice, drags the girl out of the water and endeavors to stand her on her feet. Presently he succeeds, and the two hand iu hand, skate north ward, at first very slowly, then grad ually Increasing their pace. The lieutenant understood all this. Katherlne's clothing was soaked with ice water, and the only hope for her was to keep the blood moving through her veins by as violent exercise as she could stand. lie was skating with all his strength, but they had preceded him by too long a start for him f.> overtake them, lie called to them, but they did not hear him. He was uot far behind thorn when, taking off their skates, they left the river and started up the incline toward Katherlue s home. Following them, he entered the house just as the man who had performed the rescue was leaving it. The two men stopped short, each looking at each other. "Cnptaln Abernathy!" exclaimed Muldrough. "Lleutem.nt Muldrough, at your service," replied the other. Captain Abernathy of his majesty's cavalry had been captured lu the Rainapo valley a month before and had confined as a prisoner of war at West Point. Lieutenant Mul drough had been in charge of the pris oners at the post, bad befriended Aber nathy, and the two, though on opposite sides of the struggle, had formed a warm friendship. Muldrough was as tonished to see the Brllish captain un der the present circumstances, for he had supposed him to be in the military prison. "How did you come here?" asked Muldrough. "Found an opportunity for escape, and had I not turned aside to assist a lady"— "And save a life," interrupted Mul drough. "I would have by this afternoon been on board n man-of-war bearing the cross of St. George on her banner. Tn other words, I would no longer be a prisoner of war." "Come In. My first business Is to as certain the' condition of Miss Cogs well. T shall not forget that you have saved her life." A shadow passed over Mul&rpugh's face as he remembered that It would be his duty to return to prison thp man who but for saving that life—a life dearer than all the wolid to him—would Ijave regained his freedom. The two entered the house, where Muldrough asked anxiously after Kath erlne's condition, to learn that she was receiving proper attention. Meanwhile Colonel Cogswell had learned of the accident and come has tening into the house. Having been in formed thut everything that could be (lone for his daughter was being done, i he turned to the two men. "Is It to you, sir." he asked Captain Abernathy. "that I owe my daughter's life?" "It Is, colonel," Muldrough said. "Without this gentleman's assistance our Katherine would now bo In the river under the ice." "And pray, sir," naked the colonel, "to whom am 1 indebted for this in valuable service?" Captain Abernathy and Lieutenant Muldrough looked at each other. Thee Ahernathy said: "I will iiot trouble Lieutenant Mul drough to 'ell you that. I am Cap tain George Abernathy of his majes ty's service and a prisoner of war Tills morning before daylight I found a loophole for escape, the sentry sta tinned at fifty door being dead tired and aftleep. I walked out unobserved'and under cover of the darkness skirted I the river north of Fort Clinton. Trav , ersing the piss through the mountains j I stopped after daylight at a housr | where 1 found a friendly Tory, win ! gave me breakfast and these citi I zen's clothes. I was crossing the rlvei [ with a view to going down on the ; other side to board one of our men-of I war below when I saw your daughtei | in peril You kuow the rest." While this brief explanation of how ! matters had come about was belli;; given Coiouci Cogswell's brow I darkening lie saw that the man ti i whom lie was infinitely Indebted i whom be would like to load wit Si ! favors, must be sent back under guar I to prison. Then. too. he reiiipnibered I that the Continental army had suffer | ed greatly from the work of spies, i and recently orders had been issued | that wherever such were found tliej ! should be tried by drumhead couri | martial and hanged. Captain Aber | nathy having changed his uniforu j for citizen's clothing brought him, nc I cording to the military code, under tin I letter of the law as a spy. "Your service to me. sir, and to Lieu | tenant Muldrough." he said, "puts mt ; under au obligation that is lncalcul" j hie, but your kindly act has placed Uf j in a painful position. Why. may ask, did you not retain your uniform? "I could not have hoped to pass through territory In the bauds of yout troops in my dress as a British officer. "Yet in assuming the dress of a civilian you risked a felon's death." "I took my chances and lost." Colonel Cogswell looked troubled Thore was but one man who could I rectify any damage that might havi been done—the general in chief—anil he had issued the order with refereuci to spies. "There is but one hope for us," said the colonel gloomily, "and that Is lu the magnanimity of our noble genera In chief. But what view he may take of the matter it is impossible to pre diet. Whether he will consider that the letter and not the spirit of his or der has been violated, whether be will be willing to appear as one breaking Ills own law, no one but himself can decide. , Come; let us goto him." They were about .o leave the room when n voice was heard at the head o! the stairs: "Papa, if it had not been for my pre server I would no*-. be— Oh, it is hor rlble! 1 can't bear to think of it! I! any harm comes to him I will never forgive you, even if you are my dear father. And you, Jimmie, if you let any trouble come to liltn you must give me xip." "Hush, darling!" said her father ia infinite pain. "Keep quiet and keep warm. You should not have been per mitted to overhear our conversation." "I am glad," said the British captain, "that I have heard your daughter*!) words. If I must pay the penalty of the risk I ussumed I shall be comfort ed by them." The three men left the house and walked to the headquarters of the gen eral In chief. Washington rose as they entered and. advancing to Colonel j Cogswell, pressed his hand, asking ea j gerly after the condition of his dangh j ter. After assuring the general tlia | she was in no Immediate danger !• | said: | "And now. general. I have to Intro I duee the man who has preserved hei | to us. Captain George Abernathy ol j the British army." ! General Washington's face changer i from sympathy to curiosity, then as 1 sumed a serious cast. "And how comes | It,"he asked, "that Captain Abernathy i Is not In uniform?" "Lieutenant Muldrough," Interposed the colonel, "will explain." Muldrough told the story of Aber nathy's capture, their friendship. Aber nathy's escape and timely coming upon Katherine Cogswell. General Wash lngton listened till he had finished, and the three men stood awaiting the gen ' eral's decision. It did not come at once, but when it came it was spoken with the decision of a commander: "Captain Abernathy, there, is no evl dence other than your clothing that you are a spy. There is sufficient evi dence that you are not. I shall send a flag of truco to the commander in New York asking him to nominate one of our captains in his possession of tin same »ank as yours to be exchanged for you. Meanwhile I will accept yout parole to remain with us, and I shall be happy to have you and Colonel Cogswell and Lieutenant Muldrough dine with me today." Short and Sweet. Perhaps one of the shortest court ships was that of au eminent jurist. He was on his way to hold court, in a town when he met a young woman returning from market. "How deep is the creek and what did you get for jour butter?" asked the Judge. "Up to the kneo and ninepence," was the answer as the girl walked on. The Judge pondered over the sensi ble brevity of the reply, turned hla horse, rode back H overtook bcr. *'l liked your' answer Just now," ho said, "aid 1 like yon. I think you would make a good wife. Will you* m!)rry me?" She looked him over and said "Yea." "Then get up .behind me, and ve will ride to town and be married." She did get up behind, and they rode to the courthouse and were made one. It Is recorded that, brief though the courtship had been, the marriage prov ed a pre-eminently happy one. His Angel. Miss Rogers—How did you imagine anything so beautiful as the angel in your picture? Artist—Got an engaged man to describe his fiancee to me.— Brooklyn I Ife. I j ll aC S£ . ... id St .'IIIAL that! promises to [ arouse al- j .j.it as niu- h inter- I ( si nil over thecoun- J ry :is tile Molineuz, 1 eutgert, Guuness ud other famous trials of the past Is i hat now engaging ihe attention of all * Missouri—the Hyde cot o.i r-- With eleven indictments returned against iuai by the grand jury, three for murder and eight for attempted murder, I )r. 11. C. Hyde will be brought to the bar in the Swope murder cases on April 11. The affair Is a startling one. Up to the .'id of last October Colonel Thomas II Swope, the eccentric mil lionaire bu lielor and public benefac tor, resided in his beautiful mansion at Independent e. Mo., where be made his home with his sister-in-law, Mrs. Mar garet Swope. As the donor of Swope park, a woodland tract of some 1,400 acres, constituting one of the finest recreation grounds in the middle west, and as a liberal giver to many worthy causes lie was considered one of the great benefactors of tlie community. Colonel Swope provided handsomely for his nephews and nieces, but he liked to talk about his will and to say that he ought to give a million and a half or so to charity—that he was leav ing too much to his relatives, lie was contemplating a change in the pro visions of his will when death over took him. The reader will be better able to follow the case If I)r. B. C. Hyde Is PSffK s ifrvw. V'i DR. B. C. IIYDSL now brought into it. He is tho physi cian who is charged with the murder or murders. In 1905 Dr. Hyde clan j destiuely married Miss Frances Swope, a niece of Colonel Swope, on June 21 ' of that year at Fayettevllle, Ark., against the wishes of her mother, Mrs. Logan O. Swope. As a result of the marriage Dr. Hyde and his wife's fam ily were alienated until a short time ago, when a reconciliation was brought about. The physician's wife, being one of the Swope heirs, would of course Inherit all of the old man's va_ wealth after the demise of the other heirs. Colonel Swope's health had been a matter of concern to him fur years, and for upward of a generation lie had been accustomed to predict his momentary death. So his last days were full of care and trouble. He was weakening under the strain of exhaust ed vitality, for he was an old man. ills race was nearly run. The provi sions of his will still failed to satisfy him, and while he contemplated a change In the provisions of that In strument he was suddenly seized with convulsions, following the administra tion of a capsule at the direction of Dr. Hyde, whose wife, as stated, would Inherit a large share of the unhappy old man's wealth. On Oct. 1 last .lames Moss Hunton, one of Colonel Swope's confidential advisers, who was also named as his executor, died of apoplexy, and two days later Colonel Swope after suffer ing great agony also passed away from what Dr. Hyde declared also to ba apoplexy. In December an epi demic oft. p'ioid fever raged in the Swope household, the victims being the cousins and nieces and nephews of the dead millionaire who were his heirs. Of these Chrlsman Swope died on Dec. (1 under conditions that caused much apprehension among the attending nurses. John G. Paxton, the executor, and Mrs. Logan Swope, mother of Chrlsman, instituted an in vestigation. In January the bodies of Chrlsman and Colonel Swope were exhumed and autopsies held, and the experts en gaged testified that the aged man died from strychnine poisoning, Dr. Hyde's declaration of apoplexy to the con trary notwithstanding, and the coro ner's Jury rendered a verdict placing the responsibility on Dr. Hyde. Later the grand Jury began an investigation ao3 returned indictments as stated in tip foregoing. In Justice to Dr. Hyde, however, conclusion's should not be hastily drawn, the law holding that every man is innocent until proved guilty. Snowflake Three Inches Across. A snowfl»ke measuring three inches across fell recently at Chicopee, Mass. Tho flake was measured with a yard stick by F. H. Norton, paymaster of the cotton mills, who found many flakes that measured two Inches or more across. Queer Men. "Some men are so queer!" "And you are going to tell me of one particularly queer oue." "Yes. It's Mr. Barberton. Ills wife used to beg him for nickels and dimes, and now he's cheerfully paying her a hundred, a week for alimony." Rather Venomous. A tenderfoot who visited the Yoseui- Ite in the old days thus related his ex perience: The stage driver found out that he was seriously afraid of snakes ai.d immediately proceeded to make his hair stand on end. "Venomous reptiles? You bet. I don't know what reptiles is, but them snakes yon can just bet your life is venomous. Why. one day I was eoinin" down here drlvin' a wagou when I catches sight of a snake in the brush all ready for a spring. My horses starts, an' I whips 'em up fast to clear the snake, don't you see, afore he could spring. He makes one clear spring, the snake does, an' he misses the horses." "That was lucky. But you—you"— "Lucky? You bet your life It was lucky. He missed the horses, the snake did, but he stuck his fangs clean through the wagon." "You don't say!" "I do say, and maybe you don't be lieve It, but It's a fact. He stuck his fangs clean through that wagon, an' that wagon is swelled up so bad that we had to leave It by the wayside and take the horses home." Now They Never Speak. A coolness growing out of the fol lowing conversation has sprung up be tween Jones and Smith: "I had a splendid time last night," said Jones. "I spent the evening at a little social gathering at the Goodman mansion." "Are the Goodmans nice people?" queried Smith. "Well, 1 should say so. They are very aristocratic. To get Into their cir cle one must have either a great deal of money or a great deal of genius." "You don't tell me so! And you say you were there?" "Yes." "You were Invited, were you?" "Of course." "And to be invited a man has to have plenty of money or a great deal of genius?" "Precisely." "Well, Jones, I am very glad to hear you have become rich all of a sudden. I.end me £s."—London Answers. Antiquity of the Water Pump. The water pump of today Is but an Improvement on a Grecian intention which first came into use during the reign of Ptolemies Phlladelphos and Energetes, 283 to 221 B. C. The name, which is very similar In all languages, Is derived from the Greek word pem po, to send or throw. The most an cient description we have of a water pump is by Hero of Alexandria. There Is no authentic account of the general use of the pump In Germany previous to the beginning of the sixteenth cen tury. At about that time the endless chain and bucket works for raising water from mines bega.i to be replaced by pumps. In the seventeenth century rotating pumps, like the I'appenham engine, witli two pistons, and the Prince Rupert, with one. were first used. Pumps with plunger pistons were Invented by Morland. an Eng lishman, in 1f!74 nnd the double acting pump by De la Hire, the French acade mician. Retribution. "Stand up. prisoner," orders the stern Judge. The trembling culprit, who has been found guilty by a jury of his delighted peers, stands. "Prisoner at the bar," solemnly de clares the judge, "you have been con victed of building house after house containing one of these coufounded lit tle boxes called 'reception rooms,' in which there is neither room to receive nor hooks to make it a wardrobe. The sentence of the court is that for the next ten years you shall be confined in one of these alleged reception rooms of your own construction and design!" Immediately the lawyers for the de fendant begin work upon an appeal on the ground that a cruel and unusual punishment has beeu decreed.—Life. A Big Help. The lecturer raised his voice with emphatic confidence. "I venture to as sert," he said, "that there isn't a man in this audience who has ever done anything to prevent the destruction of our forests." A modest looking man iu the back of the hall stood up. "1— er— I've shot woodpeckers," he said—Everybody's. Make Some One Happy. Charles Klngsley thus counseled a friend: "Make It a rule and pray to God to help you to keep It, never, if possible, to lie down at night without being able to say, 'I have made one human being at least a ltttle wiser, a little happier or a little better this day.' You will find it easier than you think and pleasnuter." Ladylike. A little girl on a train was chewing yum. Not only that, but she insisted tin pulling it out in long strings and letting It fall back into her mouth again. "Mabel," said her mother, In a horri fied whisper, "don't do that. Chew your gum like a little lady."—Every body's. Webster Made Neat Retort. As judge made law is now so much discussed, wo may recall one of the neatest answers in history, as far, at least, as our own reading goes: Judge (interrupting Webster's argu ment)— That Is not law. Webster—lt was law until your hon or spoke.—Collier's Weekly. Intercollegiate. "Not that I love Smith less, but that I love Bryn Mawr," said the Junior as be invited a Philadelphia girl to the from.—Amherst Four Leaf Clover A Pointer. The Girl—You're not a bit like • lover. You never say pretty things. The Man—Didn't 1 say that you looked like a beautiful autumn leaf? The Girl— Well, don't autumn leaves want press ing?—lllustrated Bits. As to Luck. "I wonder If anybody's as unlucky as I am," grumbled the first pessimist. "I never have any luck at all." "Ilnh!" snorted the other. "You're lucky. It's better to never have any luck at all that) to be always having bad luck like me."—Philadelphia Press WATERMELON VINE IN AN EAR Removed From Head of Man Wha. Thought He Had a Tumor. Agriculture has reached such an ad-j vanced stage iu Denver that water-] moion vines are being grown In meti'i*. ears. That was discovered recently' by I>r. Black, lie removed from the ear of Richard Johnson a watermelon] seed which not only had taken root, but also had sprouted. In fact, the seed, the mauy yellowish roots and the sprouts tilled the ear cavity. John son had no idea he was being used for a watermelon patch. i lie went to the doctor convlncod! fully he was suffering from a tuinqr. That diagnosis of his ailment had been, made by other doctoral but Dr. Black is enough of a farmer to know a watermelon vine when his preba strikes It.and he relieved Johnson la short order. Johnson has no Idea how the Reed got In his ear. He thinks he has car ried It since Inst summer, because. It was early last fall that his ear first began to trouble him. Several tiniest before he went to Dr. Black he suf fered such agony ho was on the ev» of going on the operating table ta have the "tumor" removed. DEER FARMING TO HELP MEAT Dr. Merriam Says It Can Be Carried on Almost Anywhere In America. Deer farming enn be carried on profitably almost anywhere In thu United States and may offer a solution of the high price of meat problem, ac cording to Dr. C. Ilart Merriam, chief of the biological survey, who testified the other day before the house coin* mlttee on expenditures in the depart ment of agriculture at Washington. "Deer will thrive and multiply on waste land," said Dr. Merriam. "ard can be raised easier than cattle. Twen ty deer can be raised on ground that will support only one cow. All that l.<* needed is a fence to keep the deer iu and their enemies out." According to Dr. Merriam, wolves are Increasing in the United States, and their annual depredations in the great cattle herds in the north and north west amount to $13,000,000 a year. INVENTORS TO COMBINE. Will Hold a Congress In Rochester In June — New Standard. The international congress of In ventors will open in Rochester on June 13 nnd continue for Ave days. Several of the most prominent inventors of the United States have promised ta attend, and some of them will bring some of their new devices for exhibi tion. Many matters demanding the atten tion of the inventors will be brought up at the convention. The manner in which business Is conducted by exam iners In the patent office In Washing ton will be Investigated, and an en deavor will be made to obtain the es tablishment of a standard for th® United States patent. Top Spinning Stunt. The Italian boys In New York city hnve Introduced a new stunt In top spinning. The trick Is to pick up th« spinning top between the fingers and drop It so that the steel i»olnt shall strike a button on the ground. If yon think that's easy, just try If. Failure to hit the button forfeits the top to the other boy in the game. The Ital ian boys are experts at it and are ao cumulating a heap of American tops. The children from Italy usually have tops painted green, the national color. The Victorious One. An Indianapolis business man was marooned on election night in 1904 in an Illinois village, says the Saturday Evening Tost Naturally he was ln 'terested in the election. He wanted ta [ find out whether Mr. Roosevelt or Mr. Parker had won. ne began Investi gating and discovered that the tele phone girl quit at 0 o'clock and that the telegraph agent at the station knocked off work after the evening train went through. which was rarely, later than »ip m. At 8 o'clock the landlord shut up the hotel, telling his guest to take the room at the head of the stairs when he was ready togo to bed. No new* was to be had. and the business man went to bed. that being all he could do. Next morning iie was awakened by the heavy trend of boots on the plants sidewalk. He threw up the window and asked the passerby, "Say, wha was elected?". "I wa?, by heck," replied the man proudly. "Third term for constable." Riding Away With the Bride. In many of the border counties ot England the quaint old bridal customs of hundreds of years ago are still in vogue. The parents carefully abstain from appearing at the marriage cere mony, cllngiug to the Idea that the bridegroom still rides away on a foam ing steed with his bride behind him as In the good old days. The brides pre fer the custom to the modern method of being given away at the altar in the | orthodox fashion. SBO El! A riollatol* TO SHOP !« * : -a x-t? * * rs* ar r#f alt kin* Tin Hoofing* Sp+tttinc nnd C»n«ral ; J^W.rtu Ranpt, FumMM. nuUBXWBft? PUT! TIB EBSTJ JOHN HIXSON SO. 11? E. FBONT St.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers