Montour American FRANK C. ANGLE, Proprietor. Danville, Pa., Har. 17, 1910. The Gallant Cabman. Nothing perhaps produces quite so much wit from a cabman as a sense of being underpaid, which in most cases means that he has been justly paid, A lady who had been guilty of this kind of justice experienced the usual sense of discomfort when her driver straight ened the palm iuto which she had just dropped her shilling and looked at her speechlessly. She was weakly about to add another sixpence wheu the cab by's sense of humor prevailed. He transferred the shilling to his pocket and smiled sweetly dowu at his em barrassed fare. "Course, missy," he remarked, "there was the pleasure o' drlvln' you!"--London Chronicle. Arundel Castle. The most singular circumstance About Arundel castle Is that its owner, fcy mere right of ownership, is Earl of Arundel In the peerage of England. It is believed that there is no similar ex. ample of a peerage held on such condi tions. Apparently there would be no legal obstacle, were the house of How ard to fall upon evil days and the cat* tie be sold to some millionaire, to pre vent the millionaire taking his seat In the house of lords as Earl of Arundel. —London Standard. Didn't Call Him Names. Mickey's mother visited a young echoolteacher on the east side the oth er day, sajs the New York Sun. As nearly as she could make out from the mother's splutterlngs the teacher had been calling Mickey "names that no lady would use and no daclnt moth er -would stand for." The teacher thought hard, but could recollect no time when she had given way to an Impulse to call Mickey dreadful names. "Sure but you did," Insisted the mother. "1 don't know what you meant by It, but scurvy elephant Is no nice name to call a boy. That's what he said you called him—a scurvy ele phant." "Scurvy elephant! No," said the teacher In a relieved voice; "I didn't call Mike a scurvy elephant. I caUed him a disturbing element, and I re iterate my statement" Mickey's mother went home partial ly satisfied, but not quite sure that the teacher hadn't been calling her names too. Four and Its Multiple of Ten. The number four was anciently es teemed the most perfect of all, being the arithmetical mean between one end seven. Omah, the second caliph, •aid, "Four things come not back— the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life, the neglected opportunity." In nature there are four seasons and the four points of the compass. Forty, n multiple of four by ten. Is »ne of the sacred numbers. The pro bation of our first parents In the gar den of Eden is supposed to have been forty years. The rain fell at the del tige forty days and nights, aud the wa ter remained on the earth forty days. The days of embalming the dend were forty. Solomon's temple was forty cubits long. In It were ten lavers, each four cubits long and containing forty baths. Moses was forty years old when he fled into the land of Mldlan, where he dwelt forty years. He was on Mount 81n.il forty days and forty nights. The Israelites wandered In the wilderness forty years. The Saviour fasted forty days and nights before entering upon public life. The same time elapsed between the resurrection aud the as cension.—Exchange. Telegrams by Tcltplioni. The following unuotmcpmetH ;vas made the other day at Now York i>y IJolvidere Brooks, general manager of the Western Uuion: "The president directs that, effective at once, our offices be authorized to open charge accounts with subscribers of any telephone company with which we have arrangements for the receipt and delivery of telegrams by tele phone." This means that any Bell telephone subscriber can call up the Western "Union and dictate a message to be seut by telegraph. The charges will be rendered wi'b the regular monthly telephone bill. A Reliable Remedy CATARRH h Ely's Cream Balm C; Yr£VER i> quickly absorbed. M Civei Relief at Once. It cleanses, soothes, heals and proteets TTIT lit Hl"ii IN'St the diseased mem brane resulting from Catarrh and drives, •way aOol.l in the llead qui< kly. restores the Senses of Taste ami Smell, lull size f>o cts. at Drngpists or >y mail. t.iij.iiJ Cream Halm for i:«e in atomizers7s cts. Ely Brothers, 5(1 Warren Sin . t, New York. T.jjr, • r 1 i tHI I, inam RI P A-N-S Tubule Doctors find A pood prescription For Mankind. The 5-cent packet is enough for usua ■occasions. The family (C>o cents oontains a supply for a year. All drug gists 60 YEARS' ,^HH|^Hg^EXPERIENCE II ij k I 1 TRADE MARKS RFJKUJFK* DESIGNS COPYRIGHTS Ac. Anyone sending a sketch and description may quickly ascertain our opinion free whether an invention is probably patentable. Communica tions strictly confidential. HANDBOOK on Patent* sent free. Oldest agency for securmg patents. Patents taken through Munn A Co. receive tprcial notice, without charge. In the Scientific American. A handsomely Illustrated weekly. Largest cir culation of any scientific Journal. Terms, $3 a year; four months, |L Hold by all newsdealers. MUNN & Co. 36,B "* <1 ""- New Tork Branch office, sth V 8U WMblnntn- " r | PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD BULLETIN. DKEADNAUGHT CARS The nub of railroading is first-class equipment and reli able service. The Pennsylvania Railroad provides this for the public. For many months big all-steel coaches, built like Dreadnaughts, have been operated on all through trains. Their easy-riding qualities and steadiness of motion have been widely praised. The,all-steel dining cars too have distinct ad vantages over the wooden ones. They are stronger and steadier, and the act of eating is made more enjoyable by the smoother movement. There are also some steel Pullman Cars—Combined Par lor —Smokers and Baggage—in the service now. Travelers like-tliein. They have plenty of elbow room and they glide over the rails. The Sleeping Cars are coming. Some four hundred parlor and sleeping cars will be in use by Summer. These steel coaches and cars are the strongest vehicles ever built for passenger transportation. They are fire proof, break proof and bend proof. They represent the climax of safety and the perfection of comfort in railroad travel. The Pennsylvania Railroad has always been the leader in all manner of improved equipment as well as in all methods of making their patrons more comfortable. This is why it is known and honored as The Standard Railroad of America. llli liflCE the MEXICAN mmm ASSOCIATION Is the besi buy in the Jhaijciai field to day. Note oar lanje ad. in this issue. Price is advancing sieadily. Large profits may be made in this stock. International Securities Company 546 Douglas Kuiiding Los Angeles - California The Thief of Time. Teacher—Johnny, what Is the mean ing of the word "procrastinate?" Pu pil—To put off. Teacher—Hight. Use it In an original sentence. I'upil—The brakemnn procrastinated the tramp from the train.—Cleveland Leader. Japan's Bar to Anti-Japanese. A bill was Introduced in the Japa nese the other day pro viding that uc foreigner may own land In Japan unless he is a native of a country which permits Japanese to own land wlihln Its boundaries. &&* 7 \ . < ' * *j£ ~7 | 0-.t~KUU,. I>~~C+ FTUWRW. hkkWJ»U — Tlie famous Antigua Mines of Pahniilas, Sinaloa. first opened in 180G by the great Spanish mine operator, Miguel Felix, and now the property of the Mexican Mining Association. Association Stock is now selling at the low price of S cents per share in order to provide a working equipment for these mines and to replace the milling and smelting plant destroyed during the revolution. We cannot maintain this low figure. The PALMILLAS mines of the Mexican Mining Association are in the same district as the world-famous Bonanza, Guadalupe de !os Reyes, with over 100 years of continuous production, now working 1,000 men and crciiited with a production of $100,000,000. In buying Mexican Mining Association at 5 cents you stand the chance of similar immense profits The ASSOCIATION now owns seven (7) large mines in Sinaloa, Mexico, upon which more than $30,000 worth of work has been done, as follows: PALMILLAS CONSOLIDATED consisting of three (3) mines—COLON, BALTAZARENA, and PALO3 J .'UlXa.b, snippers of High Grade, and containing a large tonnage of milling silver ores. LSPANOLA and MAGISTRAL two (2) large copper-silver mines, the former well developed, and the two forming a magnificent smelting proposition. RO3ARIO and TAHONITAS, the former a very large low grade gold mine, the latter a rich silver lead mine, near enough together to be worked under one management We believe that these SEVEN mines will be the basis for the greatest mining enterprise on the Western coast of America. Besides our operating department in Mexico, we maintain a selling organization in the great mine buying centers of the world, London, Brussels and New York City. Mexico has produced to date over forty-five hundred millions of dollars in silver alone, besides hundreds of millions in gold, and is to be the great gold and copper producing region of the future. The Vest Coast region, though barely touched as yet, has produced, according to our engineers' estimates, over nine hundred millions. Do you not want your share of this immense wealth ? If so, the MEXICAN MIN ING ASSOCIATION is your great chance. INTERNATIONAL SECURITIES CO. FINANCIAL AGENTS 546 DOUGLAS BUILDING LOS ANGELES, CAL. "Spark*." "I wonder," said young Mr. Stay late, hunting around for subject mat ter of conversation, "why they used to call beaus 'sparks.' " "Perhaps." replied the suffering maid : en, deftly showing a yawn In the act of apparently concealing it,"it was because sometimes they went out"— San Francisco Chronicle. Those who attain any excellence commonty spend life in one common pursuit, for excellence h» not gained upon easier terms. INTERNATIONAL SECURITIES CO. Mexican Department 54G DOUGLAS BUILDING, Los ANGELES, CAL. Please send me engineers' reports nnd additional information re garding the Mexican Mining Association. Name Street Address City — State It Had Its Limitations. "Madam," said the young man.who had called at the door, "I have the pleasure of Introducing to you our new automatic housecleaiilng machine—a simple little thing which does the whole work of housecleanlng, leaving you merely the general supervision." "Does it do all, eh?" demanded the woman of the house. "Will it wash the outside of the upstairs windows?" "Why, no, madam, but"— "Will it take down, wash, stretch to dry, Iron and hang up the parlor cur tains?" "Well, of course, this machine"— "Will It paint the kitchen ami make my daughter help with the dishes?" "Oh, madam, this machine"— "Will It wash the winter bedding and put it away, lay down the furs with moth balls, sew on buttons, set three meals a day and pacify the household?" "No, madam. You have misunder stood the limitations of my machine." "Limitations! It will be a long time before any man will get up a machine to do all a woman has to do In her house." The agent silently faded away. His Turn For Luxury. It was one of those palpably cold ham and pickle inns, but the motor wouldn't go, so Jones and Jenkins had to make the best of a bad smash and put up there. "Accommodation, gentlemen? Cer tainly, gentlemen!" oozed the oleagi nous landlord. "Reautlful large feather bed, plenty of room for the two of you and big enough for three. This way, gentlemen!" They went, they saw, they grunted It certainly wasn't much of a feather bed. But they agreed to take it and. being fatigued, retired early. In a few minutes Jones was sound asleep: but, try as he might, Jenkins could not "drop off." At 2 In the morning Jones was awak ened by a violent nudge In the solar plexus. "What's the matter?" he growled. "Get up!" was the reply. "It's half time!" "Half time? What are you talking about? This Isn't a cup tie!" "No, but it's my turn to sleep on that feather!"— London Answers. A Knockout. A young lawyer was engaged In a case when a witness was putin the box to testify to the reputation of the place in question. This witness In answer to a query as to the reputation of the place re plied, "A poor shop." The lawyer Inquired, "You say It has the reputation of being a "poor shop?'" "Yes, sir." "Y»'bom did you hear say It was a 'poor shop?'" The witness did not recollect any one ho had beard say so. "What!" said the lawyer. "You have Bworn this place has the reputation of being a poor shop and yet cannot tell of .iuy one you have ever beard say so?" The witness was staggered for a moi-ent at the words of the lawyer. The lawyer was feeling triumphant when the witness gathered himself together and quietly remarked, ad dressing the lawyer: "Well, you have the reputation of being a poor lawyer, but 1 have never beard auy one say so." $3.50 Receipe Cures Weak Kflneys, Free Reliever Urinary and Kidney Troubles, Backache, Straining, Swell ing, Etc. Stops Pain in the Bladder, Kid. neys and Back. Wouldn't it bo nice witihn a week or so to begin to nay good bye forever to the scalding, dribbling, straining, or too frequent passage of urine; the forehead and the back-of-the-liead aches; the stitches and pains in the back; the growing muscle weakness; spots before the eyes; yellow skin; sluggish bowels; swollen eyelids or ankles; leg cranps; unnatural short breath ; slepelessness and the despond ency? I have a recipe for these troubels that you can depend on, and if you want to make a quick recovery, you ought to write and get a copy of it. Many a doctor would charge you $3.50 just for writing this prescription, but I have it and will be glad to send it to you entirely free. Just drop me a line like this: Dr. A. E. Robinson,k4s:i Luck Building, Detroit, Mich., and I will send it by return mail in a plain envelope. As you will see when you get it, this recipe contains only pure, harmless remedies, but it has great healing and pain-conquering power. It will quickly show its power once you use it, so 1 think you had better see what it is without delay. I will send you a copy free—you can use it and cure yourself at home. Count the Times a Horso Ralls. To see a horse when out at pasture rolling on the ground and endeavoring to turn over on his back is a common sight, but how many people have no ticed that in doing this he observes an invariable rule? The rule is that he always rolls over either at the first or third attempt—never at the second —and more than three attempts are never made. In other words, if the horse succeeds in rolling over at the first try, well and good—that satisfies him. But if the first attempt is a fail ure the second one always Is. Then he cither rolls quite over at the third or gives It up. He never makes a fourth. If horses are rolling on slop ing ground they usually roll uphill. This is more easy of explanation than the strange custom regulating the number of attempts. As to this no adequate reason has ever been offered. Will those Ingenious people who tell us why a dog turns around before lying down and why ducks walk behind each other In a string instead of abreast explain why a horse never makes four attempts to roll over and never succeeds at the second?— E xchange. Diseases of Fear. If you are afflicted with an unreason able fear of anything do not waste time being ashamed of yourself; hurry at once to a doctor, advises a writer in Success Magazine. A writer In the Dietetic and Hygienic Gazette has compiled a list of fear diseases from which it appears that everything, from screaming at mice to being afraid to go home In the dark, is a well recog nized mental allmeut. The tramp Is in reality a sufferer from ergophobia, or fear of work, often complicated with aquaphobia oud sapophobia, which uiake him shuti the bathtub. Siderophobla and astrophobia cause timid ladles togo Into the closet when it thunders and lightens. Any number of people have cat and dog phobias. I'huntophobla Is what you would have If you were afraid of your shadow, while an all around unqualified cow ard might be called a phantopliobiac. The list Is long and Includes every human weakness except the actress' horror of publicity. A Useful Pest. Despite the fact that the spider, next to the mouse, is most violently stimu lating to feminine sensitiveness. It Is an Insect of a very good character. It feeds exclusively upon other freshly killed Insects, and they are the kinds denounced by sanitary authorities, the housefly being its favorite quarry. His service In reducing the numbers of this pest is considerable, because the spider is always busy, and be is present in countless numbers, says Leslie's Weekly. The reason why he is not more frequently seen Is that he is retiring In his habits and shuns hu man society quite as much as that shuns him. He seldom bites anything but food, and even when in self de fense he does assert himself the result ! Is no worse than a mosquito bite or a bee sting. The touching story of"The Spider and the Fly" was evidently In tended to Invite sympathy for the tiy. Buttered Side Up. One of the stories which Levi lluteh lns, the old time clockmaker of Con cord, N. 11., delighted to tell related to the youth of Daniel Webster. "One day," said the old wan, "while I was taking breakfast at the tavern kept by Daniel's father, Daniel and his brother EzeUiel, who were little boys with dirty faces and snarly hair, came to the table and asked me for bread aiul butter. I complied with their re quest, little thinking that they would become very distinguished men. Dan iel dropped his piece of bread on the sandy floor, and the buttered side, of course, was down. He looked at it a moment, then picked it up and showed It to me, saying: "'What a pity! Dense give me n piece of bread buttered on both sides; then if I let It fall one of the buttered sides will be up.' " Mules and Kindness. "In the fifteen years that I have been connected with societies for the prevention of cruelty to animals in this and other cities I never have re ceived a complaint alleging cruelty to a mule," euid the humane looking man. "That Immunity of mules from harsh treatment is an interesting ques- , tion. Why ure they immune? There ' are plenty of mules, even in New York. Does nobody beat them? Does j nobody underfeed them? If not, why j not? Does a mule show such a de- j elded ability for taking care of him self that his owner is afraid to abuse him, or do men beat mules and escapo punishment because the persons who witness the beating think it is only a mule and not worth bothering about? What is the explanation of that phase of the mule question anyhow?"— t — HUMOROFJHEGREEKS Wit That Helped the Ancients Drive Dull Care Away. SOME FIFTH CENTURY JOKES The Absentmindcd Professor Was a i Prolific Source of Merriment to the | Jesters of Days—The Source of Mar.y Modern Jokes. The til-' : 1 that there is nothing new tin '• ihe sun applies, it would seem, 111.•: -• truly to jokes and witti cisms t ... , ;hhig else. The chief difieivij- ... .ween the jests of one general; .1 that of another lie malnl; ft' • vir form. The kernel is practi. same. Nevertheless it is iut. v : t > exhume some of these am ic.it j 1 ■--• and to recognize In them the an; • t of the things at which we lau-,'. . in the pages of our humorous !•plications. Some lit., rous writers dearly love, to make fun of the absentminded, un practical university professor, who outside of his own subject lets iiis wits wan:!. rand is very slow to grasp anything i:i ordinary life. Such jokes as these were cracked centuries ago by the students and graduates of the great universities in ancient Greece, for it Is a mistake to suppose that what we now call "college life" was uukuown to the ancients. As a matter of fact, the student at the University of Athens or at the University of Alexandria was very much the same sort of mortal as is Ihe student today, and his professors were not so very different. A witty tireek named Ilierocles, a graduate of Alexandria, collected some time in the fifth century a volume of jests which were current among the j students with regard to the woolgnth | ering type of professor. A number of ! them are translated here as being of I considerable Interest in the history of humor and especially of college hu mor: j A professor, wishing to swim, was nearly drowned, whereupon he swore | that he would never touch water ngain j until he had learned how to swim. Of twin brothers, one died. A pro fessor thereupon, meeting the sur vivor, asked, "Is it you that died or your brother?" A professor, learning that a raven j would live for more than 200 years, bought one to test the matter. A professor, wishing to cross a river, J went 011 board the boat on horseback. | When some one asked the reason he j answerc.l tiiat he wanted to get over in a hurry. A professor, looking out of the win j dow of a house which he had bought, asked the passersby whether the house I was becoming to him. A professor, meeting another pro -1 fessor, said, "I heard you were dead." ' "And yet." replied the other, "you see j that I am still alive." "Well," said J the first in perplexity, "I don't know ; what to believe, for the man who told | me about it is a much more truthful i man than you!" A professor. In danger of being ship j wrecked, called for ills tablets that he 1 might make bis will. Seeing thereupon Ills slaves lamenting their fate, he said, "Do not grieve, for I am going to ; set you free." A professor dreamed that he had i trodden on a nail and that the wound j pained him. On waking he bound up j his foot. Another professor, having ! learned the cause, remarked, "It served j you right, for why do you sleep with out sandals';" A professor, meeting a doctor, hid l himself behind a wall. Some one ask ing the cause, he answered, "I have ! not been sick for so long a time I am ashamed to come into the sight of a physician." I A professor, wishing to teach his horse to be a small eater, gave him 110 ( food at all. At length, the horse hav ing starved to death, tho professor ex claimed. "i have suffered a great loss, for just as he had learned not to eat he died!" | A professor, visiting a sick person, 1 inquired about his health. The Invalid, ! however, was not able to reply. There upon the professor, being angry and scolding the man, said. "I hope that I shall be sick some of these days, and then when you come to ask how I am I I will not answer." A professor sealed up a vessel of' wine which he had bought. His serv- J ant having made a hole in the vessel | beneath and drawn off some of the wine, tho professor was astonished to j see the contents diminished while the i seals remained unbroken. A neighbor : having told him to look whether it had : not been taken out from below, here- 1 plied, "Why, you fool, it's the upper j part of the wine and not the lower that is missing!" A professor, a bald man and a bar ber traveling together agreed to keep watch in turn four hours, each while ; tho others slept. The barber's turn came first Ho quietly shared the head of the sleeping professor and 1 when the time elapsed awoke him. i The latter, scratching his head as he , got up and finding it bare, cried ou*: j "What a rascal that barber is! lie's waked tho bald man instead of me!"— j Exchange. Legal Advice. "Prisoner." said the justice, "you are charged with having struck the de-' fendaiit." "Yes, judge; I poked him. but hej called me a liar." "That's 110 excuse." "Well, Judge, it was my first experi- j encc. What do you do In such cases?" j —Judge's Library. Why Take Alcohol? Are you thin, pale, easily tired, lack your usual vigor and strength? Then your digestion must be poor, your blood thin, your nerves weak. You need a tonic and alterative. You need Ayer's Sarsaparilla, the only Sarsaparilla entirely free from alcohol. We believe your doctor would endorse these statements, or we would not make them. Ask him and find out. Follow his advice. The endorsement of your doctor will certainly greatly increase your confidence in Ayer s Pills as a family laxative. Liver pills. AU vegetable. Ask your doctor about them. WHOM as Well as Men are Made IBissrabto by Kidney and Bladder Trouble. Kidney trouble preys upon the mind, discouragesaudlcSM.'iisumbitiou; beauty, IL — | j. vigor and cheerful ness soon disappear when the kidneys are out of order or dis- Kidney trouble has Jyil] become so prevalent / 'ii\ tllat ' '*■ ' s not uncom- I J j4\oi v Jvr* ,, "v 111011 or a child to be born afflicted with weak kidneys. If the child urinates too often, if the urine scalds the flesh, or if, when the child reaches an age when it should be able to control the passage, it is yet afflicted with bed-wet ting, depend upon it, the cause of the diffi culty is kidney trouble, and the first step should be towards the treatment of these important organs. This unpleasant | trouble is due to a diseased condition of the kidneys and bladder and not to a I habit as most people suppose. Women as well as men are made miser able with kidney and bladder trouble, and both need the same great remedy. The mild and the immediate effect of Swamp-Root is soon realized. It is sold by druggists, in fifty- « cent and one-dollar size bottles. You may patKj:s!»S!>K?"s^ by mail free, also a pamphlet telling all ■ about Swamp-Root, n„„,. <,!sw. m p.iw. including many of the thousands of testi monial letters received from sufferers who found Swamp-Root to be just the remedy needed. In writing Dr. Kilmer & Co., Bingliamton, N. Y., be sure and mention this paper. Don't make any mistake, but remember the name, Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, and the address, Bingliamtou, N. Y., on every bottle. fc mm m .■aa Restaurant Slang. Two customers, a man and woman, who visited a cheap restaurant In New York were startled when they gave their orders and heard the waiter In turn shout them through a small win dow to the cook. "Give me two eggs fried on one side and three slices of crisp broiled breakfast bacon," ordered the man. "Two cackles slapped in the face and three squeals crisp," howled the wait er, wlilie the woman looked aghast "And yours, madam?" said the wait er, innocent of creating any sensation, j "I'd like a steak well done covered with onions?" she replied. | "One steak cremated and suffocated," again yelled the waiter. "What would you like to drink?" ba il sked. The woman ordered a cup of coffeu with cream, two lumps of sugar and, of course, a spoon. The man wanted a cup of coffee without cream. Ilere is what the waiter ordered: "Cup of mud, two chunks of ballast, milk the Jersey and throw In a piece of scrap Iron; draw another In the dnrk."—Brooklyn Kagle. Equals. "Dead men tell no tales." "True, but, more marvelous still, nei ther do dead women." Sydney Smith's Wit. Sydney Smith was the ministerial wit par excellence, but unhappily his jests wore so admirable that they are now twice told tales Indeed. However, most of thetn will bear repetition. Before the first bishop of New Zea land left England Sydney Smith strove to remind him of the dangers of his mission. "You will find In preaching to cannibals," he snid, "that their at tention will not be directed to the spirit, but always be concentrated on the flesh, for I am told that they never breakfast without a cold missionary on the sideboard. We shall never meet again, but let us hope that you may thoroughly disagree with the savage who eats you." "You are afraid of mo." said Smith to a young woman who sat beside him at dinner. "You crumble your bread, and that is an undeniable proof of shy ness. I <U> it when I sit by the bishop of London and with both hands when I sit by the archbishop." "Why are you doing that?" said he to a child who was stroking the shell of a turtle. "Oh, to please the turtle," was the answer. "Why, child, you might as well stroke the dome of St. Tanl's to please t lie dean and chapter." —Boston Post. Wanted a Pattern. A ragged Irishman was charged in a London court a short time ago with tendering a counterfeit shilling in pay ment for a penny loaf. Though forlorn in aspect, he was not destitute of that shrewdness which is characteristic of his countrymen. He stated that lie was sent for the loaf by a person at a public house close by, who gave him the coin to pay for It. and that on discovering It was not good he bought the coin for three half pence. The Magistrate—How came you to buy the shilling after you had discov ered it was n bad one? The prisoner, with much apparent gravity, replied: "Sure, then, your bouor, 1 bought it so that if 1 should happen to liuve a bad one offered to me 1 might know it by looking at the one I had with inel" There was a burst of laughter, and the rogue was dismissed with a cau tion. Never. Mrs. lion ham—You still insist thai woman has more curiosity than man' ham—Sure! Did you ever know a man to want to find out if he could gel off a street car backward wit bout com mitting suicide?— New York Tress. Giving Pa Away. Ma—So pa took advantage of my absence and searched the bureau where I keep my diary? Ostend—Yes, ma, and pa said that was what he called a 'bureau of information."-
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers