KAILKOAI) TIME TABI.K* 4 . Pexn'a It. H. EAST. W EST 7.1S A. M. f.H A. M. 'U.I7 " 12 15 I*. M. 'i*l F. M » -Vi " «.0W " 7.51 " SI'NOAYS. 10.17 A.M. 4.58 I'. M. t). L. <S W. H. R. EAST. WEST. 6.57 A. M. #.OO A. M. 10.lt» " 12.17>P. M. 2.11 F. M. " ti.lti " H. 40 " SUNPAYS rt.57 A. M 12.47 F. M . H.K; F M. e*i " FHILA .» KEADINO It. K. NORTH. SOI'TH. 7.52 A. M. 11.2 a A. M. 1.00 1» M. «.l»5 F. M. BLOOM STREET. 7.31 A. M. 11.21 A. M. 4 02 F. M. A.04 F. M. J. J. BROWN. THE EYE A SPECIALTY Eyes tested, treated, fitted with glass es and artificial eyes supplied. 11 Market Street, Bloomsburg, Pa. Hours—lo a. m.to .> p. m. Telephone 1436 I ———— RM STIRRUP CU* " Hjr Wiort »nd **ppjf l»y U / fco»» . ftf long uii lon«ly ntffbt J And it ay door Um ptie bom **cd( J* tc arty me to unknown land* ;3r Hl« whinny dirill, hto pairinf tool, Vi Sound drradful u » gathering Jj? An ft ! must lear# thl« »h«lt«rinc roof And )ori at lit# to fort tnd »*r®. j lender uid warm the joy« ol lift; i, Good friend*, the faithful and y* Uj ro«y children and my wife, So sweet to kiu. so fair to »t#ir.. 1 So »w<wt M kin, to fair to *le«; The night comes on, the lights bum t>lu». And at my door the pals horse stands To »i*ar ms forth to unknown landf. ♦ —John iUr- A NOVEL HOTEL BILL. Vk« Maa to Whom It Was Presented Conld Not I'nderttand It. "Tnlking about bookkeeping. there used to be a man In l'ankton whose system of bookkeeping accounts was wonderfully efficient. He kept a hotel, and he could neither read nor write. He did not know how to spell his own name, but he did a thriving business and collected every dollar of his ac counts. Once, years ago, when I first came to this country, I went to his ho tel and stopped there two weeks." writes Milt Brinben. "When 1 left, he presented me with a statement of what I owed him, and it was a curiosity. He had copied it from his ledger. At the top of the sheet there was a rude picture of a soldier on the march and after it three straight marks. Then there was a scene show ing a man at table eating. Then ap peared a bed with a man In it. In the amount column there was a picture of a doll and after It the two letters "US." After the picture of a man eating there were forty-two marks; after the view of the man In the l>cd, fourteen marks. I looked at the account, then at the proprietor, and told him it would take me a week to answer that conundrum. "I was completely stumped, and when that hotel man deciphered the amount for me It was this: The picture of th® soldier walking meant march, and the three marks supplied the date, March 3, when I began boarding. The man at the table with forty-two marks after It Indicated that I had eaten forty-two meals. The man In bed with fourteen marks showed that 1 had slept in tht» house fourteen nights. The doll with the 'RS' after It meant 'dollars,' and 111 the figure columns appeared the fig- | ures 14, which was the amount I owed him. And it was a true bill."—Yank ton I'ress. A Persian Barber. A Persian barber works In a style very different .rom that in vogue in this country. A typical shop is a square room, with one side open to the street. Iu the center is a tiny bed of flowers sunk in the floor, from the middle of which rises an octagonal stone column about three feet high. The capital of the column forms a receptacle for the water In which the barber dips his hand as he shaves his customer's scalp. In Persia they do not lather. The shop Is very clean. In two recesses stand four vases filled with flowers and the implements of the barber's art—scissors, razors, lancets, hand mirrors, large pinchers to extract teeth, branding Irons to cauterize the arteries in amputating limbs, strong combs, but not a hairbrush, for that Implement is never used by Persians. From the barber's girdla hang a round copper water bottle, his strop, and a pouch to hold his Instruments. In his bosom Is a small mirror, the presentation of which to his customers is a sign that the Job is finished and that the barber waits for his pay. The barber shaves the heads of his custom ers. dyes their beards, pulls their teeth, blisters and bleeds them when ailing, 6ets their broken bones and shampoos their bodies.—Exchange. j Strange Lapse of Memory. Cases of forgetfulness on matters of Interest s~e on record. While Dr. Priestley was preparing his work en titled '•Harmony of the Gospels" he bad taken great pains to inform him self on a subject which had been under discussion relative to the Jewish Pass over. He wrote out the result of his researches and laid the paper away, i His atteiitlon and time being takeu with something else, some little time elapsed before the subject occurred to his mind again. Then the same time and pains were given to the subject that had been given to it before, and the results were again put on paper and laid aside. So completely had he forgotten that he had copied the same paragraphs and reflections before that It wae only when he had found tha papers on which he had transcribed them that It was recalled to his recol lection. This same author had fre quently read his owe published writ ings and did not recognize them. An Eipert. Professor—lf a person in good health, I but who Imagined himself sick, should send for you, what would you do? Medical Student Give him some thing to make him sick and then ad minister an antidote. Professor Don't waste any iaor*> time here. Hang out your shingle.— New JTork Weekly. In Tempttdoa's Way. Jones—Has your wite got her new uat yet? Brown—No; I've given her the money for it several times, but she has spent It on some great, glorious bargain she saw before she got to the milliner shop. —Detroit Free Press. Some people expect fortune to break in the door and announce her arrival through a megaphone.—Nashville Ban ' ner LlPki'O COMPENSATIONS. OThy should we ever \v» iry of this lifeT Our fouls should \vi«l« n e\cr, not t ont ractf Grow stronger and not ha nit; i in the strife. Filling each moment with a noble act. If we live thus, of vigor all compact. Doing our duty to our fellow men Ami striving rather to exalt our race Than our poor selves, with earnest hand or pen, j We shall erect our names a dwelling place i Which not ail ages shall cast down again; Offspring of Titne shall then he born each hour. Which, as of old, earth lovingly shall guard To live forever in youth's perfect flower And guide her future children heavenward. —James Russell Lowell. 1 POOR OLD JIM I 1 I BY M. QOAD T < ....... ? : ■i Copyright, 1901, by C. B. Lewis. nll 112 ipiy?|''y'fU'ffv I was running on fnst freight as fire man, and my engineer was a man nam ed Colvillc. He was ten years my sen ior and also an old bachelor. Jim was what everybody called a square man. Hi had lots of sentiment for a plain. Uneducated man and a conscience s« tender that he wouldn't have knowing ly hurt the feelings of an ludlan. He was a sort of "daddy" for 200 miles along the line and had the esteem of officials and men alike. The idea that •Tim would fall In love at his age would have been laughed to scorn by all who knew him, and yet he not only "went soft" on a girl, but made the mistake that old bachelors often do. She was a chit named Mary Blaine, only half his age and a coquette and a flirt. We figured it out that there was more sym pathy than love on his part and that she was marrying him Instead of a younger and better looking man lie cause lie had several thousand dollars in the bank and would baby her up. They were married on the quiet one day, and for a few weeks old Jim's face carried a look of contentment and tilings went well in his little home at Pine Hill. By and by 1 noticed a change to anx iety, and at times the engineer was preoccupied and absentminded. I nev er asked Jim or any other man a ques tion, but through the gossip of my landlady I learned that the young wife X TVBXEU AND BPHAN"(» FROM THE CAB. was very extravagant iu her ways and was given to fits of sulks when re proved. It was also said that she was fond of going to parties and balls and was being generally criticised. Every week for many weeks I heard some new gossip, and, while realizing that it must be exaggerated, there was enough truth to make me anxious about my old pard's happiness. I hated to be lieve the tales, and yet I found many others hinting that the young wife was not playing a straight game with the trusting husband. Such an affair is one of the meanest on earth to med dle with. It is none of your business even if you are a brother, and yet you feel that It is and want to do some thing. I wouldn't have had old Jim deceived, and yet how could I goto him with the gossip? By and by a passenger engineer named Frazer came to live at the Hill. He was a man of 28, good looking, good company and free handed. He knew Jim well, and he soon got ac quainted with the wife. I threw my self in Frazer's way one day and told him what public gossip said and left It to him whether he shouldn't stop be fore the home was wrecked. He laugh ed in contempt. When I became lndig nant, he became defiant, and the result was a tight in which I battered him up until he was lu bed for a week. Old Jim was sure to hear of the row, of course, and the day after it happened - lie looked at me In a queer way as we j took our engine out of the stable. 1 | felt sure he was going to speak about j the tight, but he checked himself at'tei i a word or two. He had not only been j told about the scrap, but what had led I up to It as well, and there was only ; one of two courses for him to take. lit; | must either bid me mind my owu busi j ness and let him attend to his own do ; mestic affairs or take It for granted j that I was acting in a friendly spirit and be put upon his guard for the fu ture. When he remained silent, I knew that he ha'i adopted the latter course 1 do not know what man or woman my chum took Into his confidence, but It was some one who kept him thor oughly posted. He must have reproved, argued and commanded, but the girl wife either openly defied him or slyly deceived him Frazer was less bold ! after the row, and for a time It seemed ; ts if harmony and happiness might hp restored. It was all a trick, however, j on the part of an Infatuated, vain ! minded young wife on the one hand ; and an unprincipled man of the world on the other, a man who cared not what wreck he left behind him We were Just leaving our western I terminus one morning when old Jim received a telegram. He opened the telegram with steady hand, read the message without a tremor and then ( twisted It up and lighted his pipe with It. And yet I came to know that the i telegram told him that his wife and ! Frazer were eloping together and had ' tickets for the day express bound j west His Imperturbability deceived j me, and I did not give the message * second thought A man must have i nerves of steel to eon a message like that and never blanch. At noon, when we reached Thomasville, we not orders to run to Bascoinb's uud there side track for the express We could do 1' with three or four minutes to spare Bascom's was not even a station, but | a siding half a mile long on the prairie, and we must do our own switching For three miles beyond l» whs » straight track, and then it wen • or* iiiK and turning among the IiIIIh and over a brawling • reek \Vlien we Uai) come within a mile of the siding, I looked foi Jim to begin to slow up, but he made no move. Half a minute and he even Increased the speed, aud when I shouted In Ids ear he waved me back We passed the siding at a clip of 2G miles an houi «rid gaining on that ev er\ in jik 11 ■. :t• * 1 ;ih I at lust Krabbud ; Jim's jirni lie pulled a revolver from Ills breast and motioned for me to stand back. The man had not gone crazy, he had not misunderstood his orders, but what was lie doing in thus passing the siding? lu a run of three ' or four miles we must meet the ex I press. For a second I thought of at- I tacking him with a poker, but he iook- I ed over ills shoulder at me with a grim j smile and motioned with his head for me to jump. Then It occurred to me that the train had got away from him. and I turned and sprang from the cab. It was soft prairie for the fall, but it seemed to me that 1 turned over and over 500 times before the breath was finally knocked out of my body. When my senses returned, I heard the hiss of steam and the shrieks and cries of in jured men and women, and I had stag gered along tiie track less than a mile when I came upon the frightful wreck. The engines of the express and freight had met head on, and 52 people had been killed and 7o injured in the awful smash, it was the most terrible rail road wreck for a score of years. I helped to get old Jim's crushed and mutilated body out, and I helped to get out the crushed and mutilated bodies of his wife and Frazer, but it was days before I got at the true facts in the case. Finding himself betrayed, the old man had deliberately brought about the collision that he might have re venge on the guilty pair and be wiped out at the same time. If he thought of the innocent who would suffer as well, he had no pity. He must have hated the whole world as well as those who had directly wronged him. It wns an awful thing he did, but he of fered Ills own life with the sacrifice, and somehow I have always felt that, even though he presented such a cool, calm front to me, the tires of insanity must have been blazing lu his brain every minute after reading that tele gram. The tarrlrnii «n Octoroon. The average adult American Is a statistical octoroon. If the blood in the veins of all our people, white and black, were pooled and redistributed, each person would have about seven parts white and one part negro blood. The white strain In him. moreover, is by no menus purely American. White strains of foreign origin, derived from Germany, Ireland, Scandinavia, Can ada. ilreat Britain and the countries of southern Europe, are collectively more powerful in his composition than is the negro strain. Thus, going back only one genera tion, we find him to be a composite, the creation of widely differing bloods and nationalities. The peoples of the earth, from the Kongo under the equa tor to the North cape of Europe, have contributed, either Immediately or re motely, to his composition. But with It all we find the Anglo-Saxon strain the dominant one. His political in stitutions, his laws, his social condi tions and lils mental characteristics, his power of initiative and his inde pendence of thought and action are Anglo-Saxon, sharpeued and intensified by fresh contact with nature under new and untried conditions. It Is a strange and a gratifying thing to witness, in connection with this mixture of blood, the complete domi nance of the Anglo-Saxon strain, and It argues well for its strength and vitality as well as for the welfare of the country which he occupies and governs.— Everybody's Magazine li«ni><> Ventllntlon In noiubnjr. Most of the new houses in Bombay have a tine show of windows on the j outside, but no corresponding opening to allow a current of air to pass through. The mean annual temper ature is "9.13 degrees F., and the mean relative humidity 77 per cent. The mean annual range of temperature is ltj.it degrees, but there are periods dur ing the rains when the diurnal range of temperature does not exceed 2 de grees, and, unless there Is wind, venti lation Is practically stopped because the outer air and that In the buildings are reduced to nearly one temperature. With the thermometer at 82 to 84 de grees, and the air heavily charged with moisture, the surplus heat of the human body escapes too slowly, and much discomfort ensues. As it Is not possible to dry the air In an ordinary house, the usual remedy is to produce a current by means of a punka, and although the influence of this 1< very local, it has been found that In the worst Bombay weather life Is made tolerable in Its current The chief drawback of the punka is the punka walla. He is dirty, unreliably, especial ly at night, and his work, counting day and night, costs 24 rupees per moutli for a single punka.—Collier's. Why the Joke Fell Flaf. A big. good natured farmer wa» awaiting the suburban train, accom panied by a handsome Gordon setter. Two sons of Britain stood near him. The dog strayed away from Ills owner, v bo was reading a newspaper. "Hey!" called the farmer. "Come here, Locksmith," and the dog imme diately ran to his feet. One of the Englishmen approached the farmer. "May I ask,"he said, "what you called that dog?" "Locksmith," said the farmer "And why, pray?" "Because every time I kick him he makes a bolt for the door." There was a general laugh, In which the Englishman Joined When he returned to his companion, lie remarked: "Most extraordinary name that tuan over there calls his dog." "What?" asked his friend "Locksmith," replied the tlrst Rrltou "And why such a name?" "Because, he says, every time lie kicks Mm he bolts for the door."—-St. Louis Itepubllc The Wfldht <if io« The Iceman and the coalman *m often suspected of giving short weight# —maybe oftener suspected tiiau guilty; maybe oftener guilty than suspected. The means of testing the weight of from ten to thirty pounds of Ice are not always at hand In the house, but ■ close estimate of the weight can be reached by multiplying together the length, breadth and tiiicknesb or the block In Inches and dividing the prod uct by thirty. This will give very closely the weight In pounds. Thus, If n block of Ice is lo by 10 by i», the prod uct Is !>OO, and this divided by thirty gives thirty pounds a* the correct weight A block in by 10 by »S weighs twenty pounds This simple method can bv easily applied, and it may serve to remove iiii i''-t suspicion otto detect short weights. A Kea»oner. Old Lady—Now little boys, can any of )o>; tell iii< what commandment Adam brofc- «ln'ti he «te the forbidden fruit? Tommy I'lea-c, ma'am, itn i.- • s n't any commandments then San Frau Cisco < 'hroiiicle. "Whole there's a will there's a way," which is Just as likely to be the wrong one as the iii{hi Pittsburg Dispatch "**• 0. 8. " nopjrlfhi, IJOI, by tM (Jolttiry Riitlßm f®mptty, I livery Man 1 I a Trust I If your employer \Nere to join a trust to-rnor- H row, w hat would become of you ? Would you be one that combine must employ, or could it do without >ou ? f3| ft A moment 's thought will prove to you that the onlyVVim i way to be certain of a permanent and paying position is fit to become an individual trust —to | Be a Specialist 1 Our specialty is to make specialists of average men Hand women, to train them for positions that everyone gg IM cannot fill, to enable tlieni to name their price rather e fPf than to take what they are offered. 1 I If you are ambitious, write to-day. Tell us what you || | are, and what you wish to be. We prove our plan is I practical, by referring to successful students in your || I We Teach 1 A\A b y Mai| 1 i xy jr 112 / Merhnnipal, Steam, Electrical, Civil, By Ni i/j- 112 1£» Y rtnilar >» "•»! >ll D ID« I'ni inecrius ; jftJß I,f- I) j*|j Shop mid Foundry Practice; .Mechani . / J UJ If 112 'f. cal Drnwiog; Architecture; Arctaiiec ■ F ll n« F J'kr I> r Mwlnif; I'liimbiua ; llcuting uad «sflg KJ" Ir' I .-r VJ. >jn If/, Vcntilatio t: Sheet .lletul Work; Tele- JJj t,, ]if i | phony ; Teleyrii ph j; ( liemiMtrF; Ornu- H H If ! 1 fll/ mental !>r«ign; Lettering; Hook-keep- Ij' fiap ~V -W | r -f || Stenograph?; Method** of Teach- H - '• 112 • i»'«; En«li»h Hranchen; Locomotive I •Bf 1 :.- .v.' - ii Running (for eiigiiiecr« and firemen | mi " only); Fleetrotherapeutics (for pb)iU 1 OUR P>ni,I)IN"OS cians and nuracM ouly). KataMisbed I*9l. Paid In CapiUi, f1,500,000 for free circular, Btuting subjects you wish to study. Address Dept. A, INTERNATIONAL CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOLS. B Or call on Martin Schweitzer, Montour House Danville. Pa. ' A STRANGE MEETING. ITovt Four siNtrrN of Widely Sepa ruted XioiiM'M Met I iuh r One Hoof. Four slaters, ranging in ago from six ty to seventy four years and living re spectively in Massachusetts, Florida, Kentucky and Ohio, met t lie past week under unusual circumstances. Simulta neously from their far apart homes threo of the pisters arrived to visit the fointr< !tt Dayton, <». Neither of tiiein knew that the others were coming. Eacli lady had made up her mind so suddenly for the visit that there had been no time for mail communication by any member of the families. There wa> no birthday occasion, no illness, no known cause whatever, that might ex p.Mn l.'i\v the three ladies at the same time conceived the idea of visiting their < >hio sister. Having decided very hastily 011 com ing. each lady started at once and had in view the extra pleasure of giving the sister in Dayton a happy surprise. There was an unexpected general sur prise. Just as the Kentucky lady walk ed into her relative's home the Massa chusetts sister arrived. Astonishment was at great height. Warm greetings were not yet over, bonnets had not yet been removed, when in walked the sis ter from Florida. The t'our sjsters are Mrs. Elizabeth H. Bradford of IVnsacola, Flfl.; Mrs. Dr. Annie B. <'ainpbell of Boston, Mrs. Jennie Butterlield Smith of Cynthiana, Ky., and the oldest, Mrs. Wiley, aged seventy-four years, of l'tayton, O. The four sisters had not met since they were called together twenty years ago at the deathbed of their father. —Cin- cinnati Enquirer. lli-loii Krlli-r on 11 Warship. Helen Keller spent her summer vaca tion in Halifax, and when the Indiana visited that Canadian city Miss Keller was Invited togo on board. Lieuten ant James J. Ua by did the honors of the day. In 11 letter which speaks of that visit he writes: "It was an honor to show Miss Keller over the Indiana and the veri happiest incident of the cruise lor me. Her delight at being aboard was a great pleasure to me, and more than once my eyes tilled with tears when I looked at her beautiful face that could not return my gaze. She is a wonderful woman, and I was astonished at her knowledge of ships and their appliances. When we show ed her the turret, she wanted to know where the 'sighting hood' was.l had never before known a woman who knew what a sighting hood is, so that you eiin well imagine my surprise." When the Spanish war was in full blast, Miss Keller tirst heard front the newspapers of the "sighting hood," and it was ever after her ambition to know for herself what it was.—-Boston Tran script. Seen b> t It«*- l'raetleal <«lrl. At the circus the practical girl found an object lesson in clothes. It was furnished bv the women acrobats, who came out attired in ball gowns and did everything, from handsprings to pyra mlds. "There." -lie said, "is an illustration. Now ju-t watch those skirts get all tangled up. I've been watching those people, every instant expecting tliem to get caught and perhaps killed, and if the material weren't so light it would surely happen. "But is there anything graceful about a long skirt If you want to rlo anything? It is all right if you want to sweep into a ballroom and just stand and look nice. But If you want to do something they're always in the way, and the modern young woman wnnts to do something. "Now you mark my words, women are going to tind out Just how clumsy long skirts are, and there's going to be a revolution. The Kainy Daisies are on the right path, but they've only begun." New York Herald The "Fnce Hook" l<l«-«. guite the latest idea is to have a "face book ' Instead of the now old fashioned album. In which one's friends were worried to "do some tiling," n well bound sketchbook la chosen In it you get your friends *ach to draw a head of some sort girl, man, child or animal it does not matter If they cannot draw tit all Tliey must do their best, and the at tempts of the nonartistlc often prov« «he most aiiitislitf*- They should of • ourse sign thnlr a sines to the pictures, although some T'M) probably refuse to do so The collection when finished 1- usually most Interesting, cx« c o.'iiglv 'onilcat tempt .4 being Willi ill* cbanning sketches of one's a»t istv» f«l«-tids Wlaiita Constitution Extra ttfg.'in< e is not always nllo pethcr I id It lends : people who are making inonej to thrust it into circ latlon instantly and thus give the needy a grab at II Calveston News. REVOLVER WOUNDS. More llancrroiiM, Por >lnn> Reasons, Than Tlione of tlie Hllle. Wounds in civil life differ from those in military life in the greater after dun- j ger of septic involvement Revolver cartridges are more liable than are ritle cartridges to have been handled frequently, to have been carried In dirty pockets and to have come in con tact with various forms of infectious materials that may prove of serious consequence when buried in the tis sues. Moreover, revolver cartridges are covered with a coating of grease, and this encourages an accumulation of manifold microbic material, some of which may prove to be of virulently Infectious nature. Hide bullets are practically always sterilized by the Intense heat developed by the powder at the moment of their discharge. Their rapid progress through the air while in a heated condition still further serves to cleanse them of any extraneous material that may chance to have accumulated on their surfaces. This cleansing process Is very effectu ally begun by the rilling of the rifle barrel through which the bullet forces Its way. All these favorable factors are lack ing in the case of the revolver bullet, and so it is possible that in any given case such a bullet may carry infectious material with it into the tissues. If this were in small amount, nature might effectually wall It off nud 110 se rious consequences result. On the oth er hand, such infectious material might lie seemingly dormant for days, but really -lowly gathering strengtli by multiplication, and when its toxins were elaborated lti sufficient amount they might paralyze protective cliemo taxis and produce a septic condition. — New York Medical News. APHORISMS. The man who procrastinates strug gles with ruin. An apt quotation Is ns good as an original remark.—Johnson. Progress is the activity of today and the assurance of tomorrow.— Emerson. To he vain of one's rank or place is to show that one is below It. Stanislaus. The desire of appearing clever often prevents one becoming so.—Rochefou cauld. Coil is 011 the side of virtue, for who ever dreads punishment suffers it, and whoever deserves it dreads it. —Colton. The iuind that Is much elevated and Insolent with prosperity and cast down by adversity Is generally abject and base. Human nature is so constituted that all see and judge better In the affairs of other men than in their own.—Ter ence. Despite all refinement, the light and habitual taking of Cod's name In vain bet rays a coarse and brutal will.— C ha pi 11. frii> tnie Dully Meal. Dr. George Fordyce, the celebrated •natomist and lecturer 011 chemistry, used to eat one meal a day and one meal only, but it was a mighty one, washed down with liberal drafts of ] wine and beer. At 4 o'clock every day he used to enter a certain chophouse and take his seat at a table always re served for him. A silver tankard con taining a quart of strong ale. a full ;iottie of port and a quarter of a pint of brandy were placed before him imme diate^-. The moment the waiter announced the doctor's arrival the cook put a pound and a half of rump steak cn the fire, and to while away the time until the steak should be properly broiled the waiter brought the doctor some 'empting morsel like a broiled chicken ir a plate of fish. When he had eaten this. Dr. Fordyce drank half of his brandy and then began on his steak. While eating the steak he drank the tankard of ale and after that the rest of the brandy. The waiter then un corked the bottle of port, and the doc tor proceeded slowly to enjoy It until It was all gone. He spent an hour arid a half daily at his jne meal and after It returned home to give his lectures on chemistry, which are still quoted as classics of that science. He ate nothing else until the next day. when he re turned at the same hour to the same chophouse for the same sort of a meal. Dr. Fordyce lived to be sixty-six years old and kept up his one meal custom to the last. Wanted. Toss -So Mr. Borem called on you last evening. I don't suppose you got a chance to open your mouth. Jess—Oh, yes, frequently. But It didn't do any good He didn't pay any attention to my yawns.—Philadelphia Press. It is always a matter of surprise that others should take their worries so j uiucii tv heart; also that they make ■*» I light of ourw -Haiurt 8«t 11 A CORDIAL RECEPTION. Tin- flunk '-"I One Tlint ; \\ < mini For llim. There i- a! n" living ju-t north i of Evanstoii and a hook agent some-j 112 wliere in tli'- cosmopolitan desert of i . Chicago i,nii ut svhom feels that he Is " a victim of a cruel circumstance. j Last week the farmer bad a note 1 from a nephew to say that the boy would the farm on Thursday, j Uncle and nephew had not met for fif teen years, and the old man drove to the statinii in lils most uncomfortable , coat that lie might welcome his sister's child. But the young man failed to arrive. After waiting till the last pas senger had disappeared the old man drove away, d! -appointed. The book ;iu .! d into the dra matis per>on:e early the next morning. Looking over the t p rail of the ham yard gate, lie ealled. "Ilello, uncle!" The hook agent in ver :• t such a re ception before iii all hi- life. The farm er tiling the g.ite wide open, seized tlie agent's liand and pressed a whiskered kiss on tin- ironclad cheek. "Say. this must be heaven," mur mured the agent, following the farmer into the house and < xplaining that ev erybody at home was as well as could be expected. Not till the agent was full of a boiled dinner and attempted to sell a book did the farmer begin to see a dim light. Charged with imper sonating the missing nephew, the agent explained that he greeted all elderly strangers as "'uncle;" that he even had a few almost real ones in South ('lark street i:i Chicago. When last si en by the farmer, the agent was still running, and when the real nephew docs come he may find an electric current In the latchstring.— Chicago Tribune. The IJcsl >lmi. I'or the origin of"the best man at a wedding" we must go hack many cen turies. to days when it was llie amia ble practice < 112 the budding bridegroom to dispense with the consent cither of the lady or her father. He simply ' waited for a suitable opportunity to capture her and make a holt with his bride. In this enterprise he found it helpful to have the services of a friend who would assist him in the capture and keep the pursuers at bay until he had got a sulheiently long start. This friend was the prototype of the "best i man"of our own unromantic day.i when his duties are limited to seeing that the bridegroom doesn't leave the ring behind liim or leave the church without taking his lint with him. How times do change! M«i*tl> Fortissimo. Hunt—lt eetns stran:: to me to hear you critic: year v.s' 's rcllections as harangues, in vi« 112 the fact that in the earlier days ur married life you spoke of yot l *s voice as the very soul of music Blunt—That's . t, too. but you see she's drift, c :i the Italian to the Wagnerian - Richmond Dis patch. Why Tliej Don't S|ienk. Brown has jti--t had the telephone put onto his private house and has also purchased a new fox terrier. The other evening Jones rang him up and was in the middle of inviting him and his wife to dinner when the new dog, whose first experience of the telephone it was. commenced barking. "Shut up. you brute!" he shouted without removing the transmitter far enough away from his mouth, and now Mr. and Mrs. Brown can't make out "what happened to Jones." as he cross es the street every time he meets them. Begone. Dull Cure! A barber was just finishing lathering a customer and was talking volubly, as usual. "Yes. sir." he said, "there's no care lessness allowed by our employer. Ev ery time we cut a customer's face we are fined .SI. and if we make an ugly gash it costs us $2." Then, picking t:j> and brandishing his razor, he added: "But 1 don't care a rap today. I've just won $10." Accounting I'or It Chemically. "It may ! • mei. ly fancy." remarked Mrs. Seldom-Di lm . ' but since my hus luui b< •' -ng the water from that it 1 us seeuied to be ten tii': o! tin:;! ■ as he used to be." "i • -i,d Mrs. Nexdore, ••the ■ red with pig iron." —Ch. -a -u Y; i> i< . Tinsel?' S-JSRestion. "I wish 1 could think of some new and unusual birthday present to sur prise mamma with this year." said Miss De Muir, wrinkling her fair brow in deep perplexity. "How do you think she'd like a son in-lawV" hoarsely whispered young Spoonamore.— Cincinnati Enquirer. Social Obligation. Little Elmer-Papa, why is it more blessed to give than to receive? Professor Broadhead- Because, my son. if you permit yourself to receive you are compelled to give about three times as much in return in order to properly express your gratitr.de.—Smart Set. Turned tli«- Tables. A lecturer was once descanting on the superiority of nature over art when an Irreverent listener in the audience fired that old <|tiest.on at him: "How would you look. sir. without your wig?" "Young man," Instantly replied the lecturer, painting his finger at him. "you have furnished me an apt illus tration for my argument Mv bald ness can be traced to the artificial hab its of our in ad rn civil'/.it'oa. while the wig lam weat ng" Inn he raised his voice till the v :.ih - shook "is made of natural h.-iir!" The audiet e, I t;, ,1 a;.;irecia tion of the |>... .! Iy 1 • - and the spt a .ei It Takes a Remedy of Un common Merit to Draw the Unqualified Pratse of a Successful Practicing Physician Dr. J. VY. Hates of Corfu N. Y.. states "A most remaii-.abe ca*-e lias come under mv hands of late and has fully convinced me ol the wondnful power of Br. A. W Chase's Nerve fills ovei diseases of tht nerves. "A young lad) who was treatea for over two years for epilepsv by two doctors #■»> given up to die. 1 found that her sickness was not epilepsv. but neivcus troubles. Ju» to menstrual derangemems and prescribed four of I>r. Chase'•> Nerve Pills a day.after meals and at bed time Since that time she has not had a single bad spell. Her health has rapidly improved she has gained about fifteen pounes in Wfght. and I do not hesi tate to state that Dr. A. W. C hase"-- Nerve l-'ilL have saved her life and restored her to health." See that the por rait and signature of Di ! A. \V. Chase are on every box. I* ice 50 cent» a box.—Six boxes for S<!. s o Manufactured by the Dr. A W. Cuase Medicine Co. I J Buffalo. N Y. ONE MAN'S LUCK. 3. Itpprrd Into a Junior Partnership it (liance liUal of Wind. "Speaking of taking in partners," said a downtown business uian, "our junior was, you might say, blown In on us, and I saw him started In our di rection, though I had no Idea of it at ! the time. "Going down town one summer morn- j Ing on a Ninth avenue elevated train j I saw sitting opposite to me a young ; man who caught my fancy, a substan tial, earnest, straightforward looking chap, whose looks 1 liked first rate. He was reading a paper, and presently he tore off from his paper an advertise ment leaf that he didn't waut and threw it out of a window or tried to, for as u matter of fact It didn't go out. A gust of wind with Just the right twist to It came along at Just that mo ment and blew the paper back, to fall on a vacant seat next to him. "And as It fell something In It caught his eye, and he picked up that part, which he had Just been trying to throw away and began earnestly to read It and ended up by folding It carefully and putting it In his pocket. "About four minutes after I'd got In here that morning this same young man walks in and applies for a place that we had been waiting for some body to fill. Our advertisement for a man for It was in that paper which I had seen this young man try to throw away, and which a gust of wind, by one chance In a million or more, had blown back upon him and in such a manner as to fix his attention. "As a matter of fact I hadn't liked the young man's act of throwing the paper out of an elevated car window, i A paper floating down and around as ; that would do might frighten horses and lead to no end of trouble and lots of damage, but no one man thinks about everything, and he'd learn better about this,l knew, and so as a matter of fact I took this youug man on the spot ou my first impressions of him. He far more than made good and in due course of time he came Into his junior partnership, literally and truly blown Into It. "Sort o' queer, eh?"— New York Sun. Ilearlug a Fly Walk. As the fly glides rapidly over a smooth surface every step presses out a supply of gum strong enough to give him a sure footing and to sustain him In safe ty if he halts. So strong Is the cement that that upon one of his six feet la quite sufficient to sustain the weight of his whole body. But If he stands still the gum may dry up and harden quick ly and so securely fasten the traveler's foot as to make a sudden step snap the leg Itself. If you wish to hear a fly walk, yoo can do It without the aid of the nuga phone. Having made friends with the fly. spread a silk handkerchief over your ear and Induce the Insect to crawl across the handkerchief. As he ap proaches your ear you will distinctly hear a harsh, rasping sound, made by the contact of the Insect's feet with the filaments of silk. Tno Good Aruuiuroti. "I say that Adam and Eve never ex isted." declared the first theological disputant. "Oh. but they did," answered the sec ond theological disputant. "How do you know they did 7 Wer« you there?" "How do you know they didn't? Were you there?"— Baltimore Ameri can. French Railways. Railways in France are forbidden to carry persons visibly or notoriously af fected by contagious diseases in com partments that are used by the public. In the second place, the daily cleaning and the periodical disinfection of ail cars are required. Linens of sleeping cars must bear a ticket Indicating to the passenger the date of the last cleaning, and they must be properly washed and afterward subjected to a high temperature. Dry sweeping and dusting, which only serve to scatter disease germs, are prohibited. It being required that all floors, seats and wood work be wiped with cloths moistened with some antiseptic solution. The Arctic Weasel. In cold countries where snow pre vails during a long winter many of the animals change the hue of their coats to a white tint. The arctic bear and fox are white throughout the year. The northern hare Is brown in summer and white In winter. The weasel Is especially curious. It retains Its brown ccat until the first snow appears and then whitens in a few hours. Keeping Vegetables. Vegetables should never be put Into the cellar, as many of them contain acids which will absorb the poison of the ground air, and If eaten will prove very unhealthy, and if allowed to re main will rapidly decompose and fill the air which arises to the upper rooms with a poison that will undoubtedly cause much mischief. Potatoes should not be exposed to the sun. but kept In some dry place where the light and air cuu always strike them. Parasites of the Tlser. In speaking of the minute parasites which are found in the hairy part of a tiger's foot a scientist says: "They con stitute one of the most wonderful cu riosities 1 know of in the animal world. The parasites are so small as to be al most invisible to the naked eye, and yet each is a perfect counterpart of the tiger—bead, ears. Jaw, legs, claws, body, tall, all are there. A Liquid Glue. An excellent liquid glue that Is very tenacious and almost dampproof can be made by dissolving glue In nitric ether and adding a few pieces of caout chouc. The solution must be allowed to stand a few days and frequently stirred. As the ether will only dissolve a certain amount of glue there Is a* danger of getting it too thick. M<*at In Norway, You don't see fresh meat In Norway any more frequently than in Japan. There is an abundance of ham. bacon and other cured meats and odd thlugs like reindeers' tongues and haunches 112 om polar bears sent down from the antics. but very little beefsteak, roast beef oi mutton. -Chicago Herald. lie Rcmeciliered. Wife (revisiting the scene of her be trothali—l remember. Algernon, so well wh' ti you proposed to me how painful ly embarrassed you were. Algernon—Yes. dear, and I remem ber so well how kind and encouraging jou were and how easy you made It tor me. after all. - Tit Bits. A Clever Dog, "A Durango man." remarks the Floresville (Mo.i Chronicle, "was show ing to a friend the good points of his dog and threw a half dollar coin into the river. Obediently the dog dived for the coin and brought up a two pouud catfish and 35 c-uts in change." Ml I We want to Jo all Ms of Printina J JL in HI! LI'S M. j II III! Pltß. J II'S lilt. | f' f' ♦ A well prinU tasty, Bill or !.■ W / ter Head, Post A) A Ticket, Circular, ygx Program, State r>J ment or Card '? ( w an advertisement for your business, a satisfaction to you. Net Type, lew Presses, ~ Best Paper, fflei fork, A Promptness \l\ you can ask, A trial will make you our customer. We respectfully ask . . that trial. *+* —— No. 11 B. Mahoning Si rANTT-LV-E.. OUR STOCK OF TBIIKED HITS was i tvti iii' it mi |» eu V* . IIMVI j I 1 r O IVE 112 •in Ni VN oik n Hi \ oio» o'l't- si'ft effect ■it on'ii :i (1 i« ad t»H wt-»r HATS. ins m i' 22 Mill Street.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers