1 mil iMMWpM i ' ' ii i in i u ma w m mn n 'iM'tste' 11 iiriritiririi' till J7 I II ll II: II rm ILII II I II II Jl II - 111 1. IL . Ul 11LII t l The whole art of Government consists in the art of being honest. Jefferson. 1 i VOL 8. published by Theodore, Schocli. tfjiMS Two dollars per annum in advance Two dollars Ti nuartcr. half yearly and if not p&ld before the end of the vcar, Two dollars and a half. Those who receire their tor will be charged 37 1-2 cents, per year, extra. No papers discontinued until all arrearages arc paid, except at the option of the Editor. lO vavcrtisemenis not exceeding one square (sizteen lines) iU be inserted three vccks for one dollar: twenty-five cents for every subsequent insertion : larger ones in proportions A liberal discount will be made to yearly advertisers. ID AN letters addressed to the Editor must be post-paid. JOB PRINTING. Having a general assortment of large, elegant, plain and" orna mental Type, we are prepared to execute every description of Cards, Circulars, Bill Heads, Notes Blank Receipts, JUSTICES, LEGAL AND OTHER BLANKS, PAMPHLETS, &c. Printed with neatness and despatch, on reasonable terms, AT THE OFFICE OF THE Jcffersonian Republican. e i Mi ' From the Knickerbocker. Rail Road Poetry BX JOHN G. S1XE. Singing through the forest, Rattling over ridges, Shooting under arches, Rumbling over bridges;. -Whizzing through the mountains, Buzzing o'er the vale Bless me! this is pleasant - Riding on a rail ! ' - Men of different "stations" In the eye of Fame, Here are very quickly . Coming to the same! High and lowly people "Birds of every featherj On a common level Travelling together, Gentleman in shorts, 4 ' - t. ? SUSY Looming very tall Gentleman at large, Talking very small Gentleman in tights, With a looae-ish mien . Gentleman in gray, Looking rather green Gentleman quite old, Asking for the news -Gentleman in black, In a 44 fit of bluest Gentleman in claret. Sober as a vicar Getleman in snuff, Dreadfully in liquor:- Stranger on the right, 1 5 .V Looking very sunny Obviously reading Something very funny . Now the smiles are thicker Wonder what they mean Faith! he's got the Knicker bocker Magazine I Stranger on the left, Closing up his peepers Now he snores again, Like the Seven- Sleepers t At his feet a volume Gives the explanation, How a man grew stupid From " Association." Market-woman careful- Of the precious'casketl Knowing ".eggs are eggs, 1 Tightly holds her basket-r-v , Feeling that "a Smash,3' n-.r. If it came, would surely -e ii Send her eggs to pot v s Rather prematurely. ' QJT Ancient maiden.lajdy Anxiously remarks, ; - That there must -be.periL x rA . . ; 'Mong so many sparks , -Z-Im' ! Roguish Iooltinff fellow. ''" ? Turning to the stranger, Says it's his opinion r t ? JShe is out of danger. Woman -with her baby, Sitting vis-a-vis r . v.". Baby keeps a squalling, : Woman looks at me Asks abouUhe,distance, -Says it's tiresomfijtalking, . mo 1 -JNoises of tbe-car - . butti til Are so very-jshockiog l , ,? Rattling over ridges,. Shooting under arches, Rumbling -over-bridges WJbicizng through )li mountains-, T .1 1. . v; I t tm I .1 - . , I XJ1C JC . 11113 ia--ieaS3H(," fT J ( Ridipg on atail 4' -b Z j STRO UDSBURG, xMONROE COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, Somebody in my Bed; by. v. j. Jones. A week or two ago, during ray peregrinations f'fifdUgh Northern Pennsylvania, spreading knowledge a'iho'hg the denizens thereof, (I sell book's !) 1 " jnsl dropped in," to a comfortable lobKing inn, where I concluded to remain a (Jay or two. After a good substantial supper I lit a York Cbumy Principle'7 the like of which sell in these rfegitfns at the rate of Jour for a penny and seated myself in the ring formed around the bar-room stove. There was the brawny bdfeher,- the effeminite tailor, a Yankee fiddler, two horse dealers', a Speculator, a blacksmith, the village Esculapius, and "the Captain'," who, in consequence of b6ing able to live on his (frfeans, was a person of no small im portance, arid therefore allowed to ait before the fire-stove wiili the' p'dker to5 stir up the fire 1 a mark of respect granted only to persons of standing. Yarn after yarn had been spun', and the hoilr for retiring had arrived the landlord was dos iug behind his bar and the spirit of conversa lion was beginning to flag, when the )octor whispered to me that if I would pay attention, he would " top off," with a good one. " I beJieve, Captain," said the Doctor, " 1 never told you about my adventure with a wo man at my boarding house, when I was attend ing the lecture V " No, let's have it," replied the individual ad dressed, who was a short flabby, fat man of a-J bout fifty, with a highly nervous temperament and, a very red face. " At the time 1 attended the lectures, I board ed at a house in' which there were no females but the landlady and an old colored cook." Here the t)oc(or made a slight pause, and the Captain, by the way of requesting him. to go on, said, " Weil." " I often felt the want of female society to soften the severe labors of deep study, and dis pel the ennui to which I was subject." " Well," said the Captain. " But, as 1 feared that forming acquaintances among the ladies might Interfere with my stu dies, I avoided them all." " Weil." 44 One evening after listening to a iong lecture on Physical Anatomy and after dissecting a large negro, fatigued in body and mind, 1 went to my lodgings." " Well," said the Captain. 44 1 went into the hall, look a large lamp, and went directly, to ray room, it being then after one o'clock." 44 Well !" 4,.I placed the light upon the (able, and commenced undressing. I had hardly got my coat off when my attention was attracted to a frock and a quantity of petticoats on a chair near the bed." 41 Well!" said the Cafplain, who began to show signs that he was getting deeply interested." 44 And a pair of beautiful small shoes and stockings mi the floor. Cff course I thought it strange, arid was about to retire but then I thought as it was' my room, 1'had at least a right to know who was in my' bed." 44 Exactly, exactly no'dded the Captain; "well!"" ' 44 So I took the light, went sofffy to the bed, and with a trembling hand, dfew aside the cur tains. Heavens -what a sight ! A young girl -M bhould say angel of about eighteen, was in there asleep.." 44 Well !" said the Captain giving the- chair ;a hitch.' ; ' 4 As I gazed upon her, V 'thought 1 never wit nessed anything more beautiful. From un derneath a hule night cap, rivaling the snow !in whitenesscrepl a stray ringlet overa'neck and shoulders of at'aBaaier.''- " Well !" said the etched Captain, giving his chair another hitch.' ' ' 44 Never did I look upon' a feflif'more perfect ly beautifully Tormed. ' 1 took hold of the cover lid" 44 Well r said the Captain, throwing bis right leg over his left. 44 And softly pulled it dowrf- ' "'We'll V said the Captain,' betraying the ut most excitement. ' f " "To her waist." - t"':1'' " ' iVWelV.u said the Captain dropping the pa-'-per, and renewing the posmoniof his7 lgs. j . " She had on a night dress, buttoned up be fore, but softly I unbuttoned the first two but- tons; 44 Well!!!" said the Captain, .wrought up to the highest pitch of excitement. ' 44 Ani then ye Gods ! what a sight to gaze upon a Hebe pshaw ! words fail. Just then " Well ! ! !" said the Captain hitching his chair right and left, and squirting his tobacco juice against the stove till it fairly fizzed again. 44 1 thought I was taking the advantage of her, so I covered her up, seized my coat and boots, and went and slept in another room !" 44 tc$ a lie " shouted the excited Capiain, jumping up and kicking over his chair. 44 it s a lie' ! I'll bet you fifty dollars that you got tn- to the bed " The Farmer's Life. i We take pleasure in presenting our readers with the following excellent remarks from the New-York Farmer and Mechanic, on the; 4 Dig! nity and pleasure of Agriculture." "-There is a rrfb'ral dignity in the pursuit of agriculture. True it is toilsome ; but what gainful, pursuit is hot t Tbef e are few merchants" or professional men who would not at times willingly exchange their burdens; their cares or anxieties, for. fol lowing the plough or other labor connected with farming. T fife" youfrg man who fancies there is so much of leisure and aristocracy in trade and the professions, a'ftd 30 much drudgery in farm ing, knows less of human life than ho will or likely learn if he lives to middle-age. But, while the laboring people, usually aitain.greater longevity than meri of leisure,- their exercise may be considered a's conductive to health, and hence to happiness. Iri labor itself there is nothing degrading to' the best feelings of our nature, it is only vitiated artificial public sen timent, that can induce painful sensibility in view of the necessity for industry, which the wants of life impose. It is not the Object thrown around the farmer, the woods and streams,- the fields, arrayed in green, that make all the charms" Of his life ; for, while he subdues the soil and fits it for his pur poses, and scatters the seed on the furrows, the progress of vegetation and the ample harvest are in his. mind ; as the reflection at night that the day has Been devoted to usefulness, pre pares him for peaceful rest. Then there is a practical independence enjoyed in; the feelings of the farmer when he gathers the golden har vest, and partakes of tfie fruit of his labor. " He eats his own lamb, his own chickens and ham, He sheers his own fleece and he' wears it." Agriculture has in all ages been esteemed the true associate of inability. "Virgil wrote its praise, and the greatest statesmen of the Roman Empire made the following of the plough art in dication of his conscious dignity and, an exam ple of his most sterling virtue; Latef, during the middle ages, the possession of land was a necessary appendage to nobility. Geo. Wash ington was a farmer, and all the Ex Presidents of the Untied States, with perhaps a single ex cepion, have found the honor of their attirement in farming estates and their cultivation. How to treat l-ard. ' We clip the 'following item from the Scien tific American : 44 The trying of lard is art important branch of economy, requiring a Utile care and some direct information. Water, be it remembered, should never be made use of in this process, since ft cooks the fat and makes it soft and li able to become speedily rancid. Put a lump of fat into a pot, and then stand the pot alongside of the rfre, gathering around it a few embers ; let a little of the fat fry out, after which put the fat over the fire; witff-'precaution there is no danger of the lard's scorching and no heed of water, but the lard, whe.n fully "coM, will be found quite firm and solid, which cannot be the case if water be made use of in trying out," Good Security. ' A- blacksmith- nrned Osbornr offered bin self as bail, at the court of sessions, fo'r a1 pris oner whose Trial was-put Off till the next, term" 44 Are you surely worth $500 above ail yotfr debts ?" inquired rho'Recofder 44 Why, sir, I'hold my wife to be wo'rth $500 wSYho'ut counting property." ''" "' j "9 The Cour't u sati.fiod'f lakcr:hiV'baiirie'- nlif.fl iYii' Rrhri1irJ J tH.'i DECEMBER 23, 1847,. Farmer's Sii. I digs, I'hoesi . J dIu'ws; I mowsj; ... i I gets .up woodiibr winter? & i 1 taters gtows; - -',- ei 9 And for all 1 knows, .,a I'm 'debted to thftiprintefa; ,M Idd suppose v 5 'All knowledge flows, 3-' ' Right from the printing pidsi; So off I goes, ' J In these ere clo'd And ends my wo's By settlin' up I guess ! How to Deal with Rats. Corks cut thin as a sixpence, rdasied or stewed in grease, and placed in their tracks ; or dried sponge, in small pieces, fried or dip-' ped in honey, with a little oil Or rhodium; or bird lime, laid in their haunts, will stick to their fur, and cause their departure. if a five rat be c&ugh't, and well rubbed or brushed over with tar and train oil, and afterwards allowed to" es cape, the' others will disappear. Poisoning, is a very dangerous and objectionable mode. Bait for Rats", Mix a paste of corn meal with raw eggs, which is the best bait for a wife trap ; they will all get in if there is room. To Drive Rats from your Premise Buy ohe pound-of chloride Of lime, and" scat ter it dry into' every rat hole atid pldce that they visit, in the cellar and other parts of the house-,' in and under the cellar wall. Do not put it on or very near any article of provisions. Caution to Sportsmen and others. riundreds of guns are sold in this and other cities, made of defective Unired States musket barrels. The breech piris are Of malleable casjt iron, vfrith the scrfews cast on. The ma king up of these guns ought to consign the ma ker to a prison. If the barrel does uot burst, tHe breech pin being of cast iron cahuo'i he Safe'. Great and serious accidents are constantly hap pening ; hundreds of poor men and boys, are maimed yearly by bad guns; and it becomes the interest of the public authorities. as weil as in dividuals to procure a severe law against the manufacture of such arms. N. Y. Suii. Carious Funeral Directions. An old gentleman of four score and two, Mr. Jedediah Preble, died week before last in Beth; any, Gene'sse county, N. If.,' Snd was buried on Sunday week stt Batavia, according' to the written instructions by him to his son,' as fol lows : 1 u Dffess this body in old fashioned apparal, with a white cloth tied about its head and a sheet upon its bodf and a coffen made of bass- wood or white p'irie boards, painted white, if painted at all. And my further request and charge is,- that none of my children or relatives wear any mofning for my dead or departed body,' but rather rejoice and praise God with all their bouls, mind and strength, that I have gone to be with God and Christ, but strive to preparfe to follow my dear Redeemer, by his word and spirit, and what 1 have' wrote I trmais by the direction of the good spirit of God." A nd ot Your Own. Youtfg fnen should have minds of their own. We should rather be called wilful, stubborn and unyielding than id be eternally vascilfating b$. tween one thing an'd another; to-day pursuing one.couise with avidity, and to'-mor?ow anoth er. You must be decided in yo'ur own minds but we pray you to decide right -and stick to your principle. He who Is continually ask ing the opiniort1 of this dnb and the other, will never accomplish any thing. ' 4 Iobk Kefe Tom,' what do yod'thitik of the printing business ! Ain't it arl asto'illshtng thipg 10 you?" 44 Well hoss;' it is they may talk about their naiio'nal convention, but 1 think that the aU. of p'riritife is about the greatest cofib tiori that I fever seen in my born days." A ma'tden lady" dtwireast lately advertised for a recipe to make secfeis', as she ri'ever yet had a'good "one thai would Kfear keeping1. We hfeard,ofit.geni.Ieman,.8ay8 an exchange, .who; last year, planted his onions close to his poppiest, and the consequence was, they grew "h'"feeHv 'that hV hev'et could gei them1 Otl of No,;,. 2. From the National tntelligfeiiberi; . 1 , SECOND, DESPATCHES. FROM MAJOR iJOWWIIGi Headquarters, Mexico, ncto addition to the ' ' United States, dctoIier25,' f847T Mr. GaIes & SEATON:-My deaf ii'ld fiieud; Gineral Scott ahd I find a good deal of bother about getting our despatches thrdugh to Vefjt" Cruz, of else you'd hear frorii me oftener; do think the Presideh't is too backward about clearing out this roaM from here to' Veid CrUz and keeping it open, and introducing the ini p'rovemeriis into the cpun'iry that .we sM'a'nd so much in need of here. He and Sir. Ricbid pretends to have constitutional iciuples about it, dhd says the constitution dottt allow of in xbxiidl improvements, and Mr. Richie says thd resolmions of '49 is dead agin it too'; and be sides, Mr. Richie says these internal improve ments is a Fed'eral doctrine, and he'd always go agin 'em for that if noihin else. But 'its strange to me that the President hasn't never found out yet that where there's a will ihere's a way, constitution or no. constitution. All HeM got to do is, to call all these roads found here in Mexico u rniiilary roads," ahd' theii'lie'd Have the' constitution on his nidej for every boly knows the coristilhtion allows hint tti make mil itary roads. I know the President is very del icate aboil fringing tin the constituiioiij so t dont blame him so much' for holding Back about the internal improvements here in Mexico; though 1 dont think there's any oilier part of the Untied Stales where they are rleeded mbfe:. But there's no need of splitting hairs abotii'ihe roads ; military roads is n't internal improve- mentsf and he's a right to friake military foa'd5? as much as he pieaseS. And as ihem is j'cfi the 'kind of roads we want here'; and shall writr for fifty years, (for our armies' will havo to kfep rfiarching' about the country for fifty years Be. -fore they Ml be able to tame these IVYexicaHi. a.h'3 turn 'em into Americans,) it is coVfdund'dc'I strange to me that the President is so behitlo! hand about this' business. What's the use" Bf our going on and annexin away ddwh south here, if he don't back us up and hold on to ihfe slack? And there's no way to hold on tcf'iL but to keep these military Triad's Open so 9i5r armies can go back and forth and bn'Hg ti? ia victuals and pOwder and shot and money.- Here we've been, weekJ and weeks siri? A we annexed the city of Mexico, waiting dn holding on for the President to send uft 'mora meti and more money, and tell us whsli i-q next. This backwardness of the Pvpideni since we g'dt iritd the city of Mexi.ca seems more strange to me, considering; For,. when he was fixen me off to come Out h'ere and.see if I could make a settlement wi.th Santa Anna, I tried to persuade him to, let t;ne armies hold Still while t was making trio 'bargain. 1 told him he never could bring a njan to reason or to -i trade, when he was ktiockiftg of him down all the time. Elut I couldn't make him seem to understand it. rfo stood to it his way was foe best the sword in one hand and peace in loth er, all the way along a word and a blow and the blow always first. i4 Why, Major Downing," sayS he, "if you want to reason a pr,in int0 peace; that's another thing; but if you, want to eohquer a peace my way is the o,iy way. That's the way 1 begun this v'art an(j that's the' way I mean to carry it 4 How sol" says I; "how did you begin the war in t hat way 44 VVhy," says he, ,4SlideIl was the word, and and Taylor was the bl6w ; and not only my friend but everi my enemies admit that the blow coitie first." The President said that was 'the r ule he had gone by all the way alongi ahdr he meant' to stick to it; and not hearing any thig from 'him so long, I'm afraid he's got a notion th.it peace is conquered; But that would be a bad mix take', if' he has got such a notion; for' it isn't conquered; it's only scattered. It's a good deal as 'twas with Bill Johnson, when he and 1 was 'btfys, and he Undertook to conquer a hornet's nesi, vnyoMiiu tu gcv iui s ui iiuticj. no tuurv a club Mnd marched biavely up to it and hit it an awful dig; and knticke'd' it into a thousand fimders. ' " :"44There', blalst ye,1' say Sill, "1 guess ybVro done tu now;" as he begun to look round for the honey. But he' soon found 'twas 't con budred ; 'twas only scattfred. And preaemly . fife
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