V. it i B. F. SCIIWEIER, THE COirSTITUTIOS-THE UITI05-AIfD THE EHrOKCIimiT OP THE LAWS. Editor and Proprietor. VOL. -XXXII. MIFFLINTOWN, JUXIATA COUNTY, PEXNA., WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 2, 1S7S. NO. 10. FIVE O'CLOCK IS TEX 0RHIKG. It u all very veil for the poeta to tall, . - By wy of their song adorning. Of milkmaids who rooae, to manipulate eowa, At Ave o'clock in the morning. And of moony young moera who bundle out doom. The charms of their straw beds scorning Before break of day to make love and hay, At fire o'clock in the morning. Hut between me and yon, it is all untrue Believe not a word they utter ; To no milkmaid alive does the finger of fire Bring beaux or eTen bring butter ; Tbe poor, sleepy eowa, if told to arouse. Would do eo, perhaps, in a horn-ing ; But the sweet country girle, would they show their curls At five o'clock in the morning ? It mar not be wroug for the man in the song Or tbe moon if anxious to settle. To kDeel in wet grass, and pop, but alas ! What if he popped down on a nettle ? For how could he see what was under hia knee. If in spite of my friendly warning. He went out of bed and his house and his head. At five o'clock in tbe morning ? It is sll very well such stories to tell. But if I wag a maid, all forlwn-tng. And a lover should drop in the clover to pop ' At five o'clock in the morning : If Miked him, you see, I'd nay, "Please call at three;" If not, I'd dismiaff him with scorning : Don't come here, you flat, with conundrums like that. At nve o'clock in the morning !" A Very Natural Mistake. Dale Vcre took his Flor del Furoa from his tawny-moustached mouth and scientifically knocked off its column of foamy ash with his white, monogram Died cameo-ringed finger. 'Very pretty name, I admit, Dick 'Stella Sunderland yes, very artistic in sound and construction. But for all that I can't see why a fellow must be execled to go into ecstacies at the prospect of our introduction." Kick Maitlyude drew his brows up into an impatient frown, and tipped the ash off his cigar so emphatically that it did not find its sepulchre in the cuspiuore. "Hang It all, you provoke me beyond endurance. What arc you made of, anyhow? Any man living except your self, would give the eye out of his head to become acquainted with Miss Sun derland, while you oh, you bloodless wretch vou seem to think she isn't worth the thinking of." Dick gave a little aroused laugh, showing his exquisite teeth a laugh that was not rejieated in his dark deep- gray eyes. "You're about right, Iick. In my estimation the woman doesn't live who is worth thinking about. What are tliey but a lot of pretty husband hunt ers, with not a thought abovedress and beaux and society? I tell you, women are a mistake."- And Dale Vere religiously meant ev ery word he said. And the reason he believed it was because all his life he had been too blessed of the gods. He had been born wealthy and belonged to a biue-blooded old family, who were as proud of their name as ever king was of his crown. He had always been handsome, so handsome that all his life women had courted and ctressed him And so he had been so fed with world ly dainties that he had become surfeit ed surfeited with travel and pleasure, and all the detail of leisure fashionable life until he had come to be unable to find any sweetness inanything,and the only resort left him was to take things as they came, allowing nothing to dis turb his calm serenity not even the advent into aristocratic society of belle and a beauty and an heiress who was creating havoc wherever she went, Whereas, Dick Maitlynde, younger by ten years than handsome Vere, who was thirty-five, was hot-neaded and impressionable and continually burst- ins out into rages against his friend and inseparable comrade for his 'blood lessness." Just now, Miss Sunderland was the topic under discussion, and Maitlynde was in a state bordering on fury at Vere's cold, persistent, sarcastic re fusals to be dragged to Mrs. Westmore land's reception for the sole purpose ot an introduction. "I tell you you've not the least com prehension of what you will miss, Vere. Why, she's she's perfectly stunning; she's a why, she's a magnificent creature all curves " "Cotton, Dick." "And creamy skin that " 'Liquid pearl, beyond the shadow of a doubt." -'And such hair well " "That Guilmard can sell at ten dol lars a switch. I tell you, Dick, I don't are that" a puff of blue fragrant smoke "for the girl who evidently has sent you pretty far gone. But, to heal your wounded spirit, I'll consenttothe sacrifice of a quiet evening at the club miri he led like a lamb to Mrs. West moreland's, to-night." And that was how it came to happen that at half-past ten o'clock that eve ning Mr. Dale Vere was bowing to his hostess, handsome, languid.easy .bored ; to be rushed up to, ten minutes after ward by Dick Maitlyude. "She's in the music-room with that snob of a cousin of hers wear his hair parted in the middle, and writes his name the same way. Come on; 1 vviut you to have a good sight of her liefore she sees you." And they sauntered off towards the music room, Vere's face wearing a half-amused, half-resigned smile, where the door being wide open, be could command a full view of the occupant as he walked down the corridor two people.one a blonde-haired, struggling moustached English gentleman, sit ting in a state of pitiable awkwardness on "the piano stool, playing delicious chords and arpeggios, with red, fat fin gers ; the other, a slender, exquisitely formed girl, leaning over the end of the piano, her dark lashes sweeping fair creamy cheeks, her dark hair brushed high off a forehead that was the perfection of womanly loveliness. Her lips were lightly closed each lips, so suggestive of kisses and love words: lips that were' delicately lovely in their scarlet beauty, yet that held the prom ise of ardent passion in their perfect curves. . ' A face once seen never to be forgot ten. A form so instinct with grace that no man would be satisfied with one look. A presence redolent of that subtle, intangible something, that mys tery of .unconscious magnetism this was Stella Sunderland, at whom Dale Vere had at first merely glanced, then took in, In a rather interested survey, then regarded with unusually eager admiration, and then She suddenly lifted her drooped lids and looked straight in his ye such a balstartled, half-expectant glance in her own dark ones, that a woman wears when some instinctive feeling has told her there are a man's admiring eyes on her. SSo their eyes met, and a tinge of ex quisite rose hue 'swept swiftly across and off her face, while into Dale Vere's there came an eager, sudden paleness. - Then he returned to Maitlynde," who stood startled out of his usual iusouci ance at the emotion displayed by the hitherto invulnerable. ' "'By Jupiter, Dick, why didn't you tell me? She's the most glorious crea ture God ever made! Introduce me quickly or I'll" Dick bestowed on him a look unut terable. "I like that 'Why didn't I tell you! Come on, you sinner !" And the next minute Dale Vere's handsome head was bent reverently be fore Miss Sunderland, and he recorded a vow in his suddenly-awakened, mad ly worshipping heart.- - "What a woman for a man to win And I will win her!" Ana ne am win ner. such eager, earnest devotion as he offered her could not have failed of winning any woman's heart, and blase as Dale Vere bad lm agined himself to be, he was confident enough now that this Mas the first time in his life that he luul ever actu ally been impressed. For the first time he knew what jeal ousy was, when, one day when Stella's English cousin was lounging in the Sunderland's parlor at the Windsor. and she was in one of her sweetly gra cious moods that alternated with co quettish coolness and elegant reserve Stella had told him all about her cou sin Claude Claude Kenriek i-airfax youngest son of Sir Hubert Clarendon who once on a time had wanted to mar ry his fair cousin, but who, after appa rently hopeless agonies at her repeated rejections, had consented to be consoled with the charms of another fair on little, blue-eyed Xita Volente. who was Stella's familiar and dearest friend. Of course, Mr. Dale Vere had not the remotest idea that his beloved could en Certain a thought of any one else while he was on the carpet, but yet well, men, even handsome men who are con scious of their influence, will be jeal ous, and Dale would rather Mr. Fair- tax and Stella had not been on quite such delightfully cousinly terms. But there always was the thought of Xita Volente that acted as a kind of counter-irritaut, until well every love romance was bound to have its lit tle soupcon of tragedy that for the time being is as threatening as if of greater moment. In this instance it happened not strangely; it happened naturally enough, and, as Dale Vere felt, horri bly natural enough to send all the blood receding from his face the bright sunshiny afternoon when on saunter ing through the Sunderland parlors, waiting for Stella's apiiearance, he stepped on a letter, lying so o)ened that without a least effort be caught the address, in the unmistakable handwri ting of the only man in all the world of whom he was jealous Mr. Fairfax, and the words of the address were : "My darling little one." And the address on the envelope ly ing beneath the letter was in the same undeniable hand. Miss Stella Sunder land. For a second every vestige of color left his handsome face; for a second it seemed as if the room was suddenly darkening around him. Stella, his love, his betrothed wife, his "pure fair star," so base, so deadly treacherous. Now he understood all their cousinly intimacy cousinly inti macy ! Xow he knew why, despite his better judgment, he had so often been so hotly jealous, apparently without a cause. Xow he understood it all the woman he had worshipped from the first, the one, only woman he ever had cared for, and who had conquered him with her glory of beauty, was false even beyond the vividest imaginings of a jealous nature. My darling little one." ihat meant that his betrothed wife his "darling little one" was playing a game of fast and loose with him and Claude Fairfax while Xita Volente, poor, unsuspect ing little Xita, who adored her lover as Dale adored bi sweetheart Ah, well, hearts must suffer and break so long as men were cruel and untrue. He was still standing beside the mir ror inlaid etagere 6taring at the accur sed proof of Stella's falseness, wonder ing vaguely how it would all end,when the girl herself came in so sweei, so fair, so tempting in her loveliness as she came up to him, her eyes full of eager, shy delight, her dimpled mouth smiling her welcome. I kept you waiting longer than ever before, didn't I, Dale? Xext tune Why, what have I said ? What have 1 done?', For the whte sternness on his face suddenly impressed her. How can I tell what you have said or done ? I only know that I have round out, by the merest chance, that yon are not the woman I took you to oe not the woman w ho will ever be my wife." Stella looked at him in an amazement that slowly changed to horrified anxi ety as flush OI womaniy inuiguauou and pain crept over her ivory puie face. "I am afraid I don't understand you, Dale." She spoke very gently, but with a lit tle tint of cold reproach in her voice whose effect was to stiug him into hot ter fury. "Of course not. What woman dis covered ever did understand? It is enough that I understand. Consider that the engagement is peremptorily broken from this hour." And then, while Stella stood there, the lovely flush all gone, and the pale cheeks grown deathly white, while a glow of haughty auger and surprise rose In her flash! ug dark eyes, Mr.Dale Vere picked up his hat and cane and gloves and walked out the most thor oughly furious man, for the time be ing, in New York city walked out to almost tumble into the arms of Claude Fairfax, who was stepping out of the elevator the only passenger that trip, ne nodded cordially to Dale. "Hello which way? Such a " And he stopped, point blank, at sight of the white fury in Vere's face, just as Stella had done. "You hound ! How dare you assume your insolent familiarity with me? If it is not enough that I have discovered your vile treacherousness, I " it was Mr. r airlax 8 turn to assume the indignant. - "I am quite at a loss to understand your insulting speech, sir." Vere laughed sarcastically. "Doubtless; your charming cousin is equally ignorant. Remarkable as it is that neither of you can understand me, it is to be hoed you at least under stand each other." And he turned sharply on his heel, as the elevator descended, and was down to the ladies' entrance just in time to meet X'ita Volente stepping from her elegaut little coujte poor, unconscious girl, for merry, laughing eyes and dim pled mouth showed she had not the re motest idea of the misery in store for her when the inevitable discovery should be made. For one second, as Vere lifted his hat, he asked himself whether or not it was his duty to tell her; then she touched his sleeve with a daintily pearl-kidded hand. 'Oh, Mr. Vcre, what do you think? That stupid, careless lover of mine has sent me a note intended for Stella all about some books and things and I am sure he has sent Stella the answer to my note. I'm going up to see, any how. Will you come?" He stood in the doorway as if trans fixed; what a mistoke a perfectly natural mistake! and he oh, the hot headed, hot-hearted fool that he was But, like the gentleman he was, he went straight up to Mr. Claude Fair fax, who had evidently explained her lover's conduct to Stella weut straight up and apologised, and offered his ex cuses, and then well, of course he and Stella fixed it all right. Only he can never forgive himself for his harsh words to her. Hia Way of Dolus Good. Up in Xew Hampshire is a well known eccentric individual, a self con stituted curer of all Ills, a sort of uni versal panacea-body and soul-head- heart-and-conscience doctor, who, with all his eccentricities, has a fund of ac tive wit that is hard to beat. Xot long ago the "doctor" was called upon the witness stand. The opposing coun sel, who is said to sometimes "wet his whistle" with "liquid pizen," know ing the doctor's peculiarities, ventured in cross-examining to show him up bit. The result will be appreciated. "What is your business?" .promptly queried the counsel. "My business is to do what little good I can to my fellow-men," modestly re plied the doctor. "But that doesn t answer my ques tion," pufiily remarked the counsel. "How do you spend your time?" 'Why, 'Squire, it takes about all my time to do what I said," insisted the doctor. 'Bnt I want something more defi nite," stoutly demanded the counsel, How do you go about your business?" "That depends upon circumstances, according to the nature of the case,'1 explained the doctor; "lor instance, if I were going to begin with you, the first thing I should do would be to ad vise you to sign the temperance pledge.' The court roared and the counsel, as if convinced the doctor was pursuing a legitimate and respectable vocation proceeded with the regular cross-examination. Hygienic Hints. Sucking the thumos may cause a pe culiar deformity of the chest in chil dren, and even a form of dislocation of the jaw. Arsenate of gold, a combination of gold with arsenic, is claimed to possess extraordinary powers in tbe cure of nervous affections. Blisters have been found by French surgeons very useful in promoting the resolution of enlarged glands, even in cluding those which have begun to sup purate. A recent statistical paper shows an Intimate relation between the fatality of diphtheria and the amount of communi cation with sewers through water closets, water-pipes, etc. Professor Mialhe, of Faris, holds that dwellers in cities who take little physi cal exercise, often require considerable quantities of alkalies, such as soda, in order to maintain their bodily functions in a healthy condition. Loosen tbe clothing, and, standing erect, throw the shoulders well back, then hands behind and the breast for ward. In this position draw slowly as deep an Inspiration as possible, and re tain it by an increased effort for a few seconds, then breathe it gradually forth. A fter a few natural breaths repeat the long inspiration. Let this be done for ten or fifteen minutes every day, sad in six weeks' time a very perceptible, in crease in the diameter of the chest, and its prominence, will be evident. California, it Is estimated, will pro duce this year not less than 30.000,000 bushels of wheat and 14,000,000 bushels of barley. Oiw a Mile a Minute. The train leaving at 7.35 in the morn ng for Xew York, over the Pennsyl vania Railroad, is among the fastest in the world. Indeed a portion of the dis tance is made at a rate scarcely attained by any road in Europe or America. The distance between West Philadelphia and Jersey City is eighty-nine miles, acconi plished in one hour and fifty-tour min utes, with a single stop, while tbe re turn is six minutes less, Including two stops. This gives a rate, in going, of nearly fifty miles, and in returning of slightly more than fifty miles an hour, surpassing that of the celebrated Queen's mail between London and Holyhead where the run of 204 miles occupies seven hours. At half-past 7 o'clock Friday morning, when a Times man. by permission, boarded the engine at West Phila-'elphia depot, the steam guage marked 130 pounds and "still rising, precisely flve minutes later the bell clinked over the engineer's head, and almost simultaneously he gave a slight clutch of the lever and the train of lour cars was off. It stopped at Germantown Junction thirteen minutes later. As soon as the engineer got clear of the suburbs she shrieked and bounded away at greater speed. About twenty min utes after, it wound its way througli Bristol, and in si ill less time the iron bridge over the Delaware was sighted and Trenton was bisected at tiie same moderate speed, which had been ad hered to through Philadelphia. But It was necessary to do better better In or der to reach Jersey City, nearly sixty miles away, at the appointed minute. Trenton was scarcely passed when the engineer touched up his steed. Between the first two mile posts noted the dis tance was passed in sixty -three seconds ; the next a little less and the third pre cisely sixty. Hurrah ! The traiu was spinning along at the rate of a mile minute. And yet every thing proceeded with so much smoothness that It was impossible to appreciate the amazing swiftness. There was no unusual jolt ing and in tbe cars the passengers were smoking, dozing or reading, just as though It was an ordinary train in which they were riding. Just beyond Princeton the speed rose to a rate of a mile in fifty-eight seconds and contin ued it without diminution, except slight "slowing up" at Monmouth Junction, until Xew Brunswick was in view. In this neighborhood. Conduc tor Silance, with watch in hand, care fully timed the train for three miles, Tbe first was passed in fifty-four sec onds, the second in fifty-two and the third in fifty. The last was seventy-two miles an hour. The puffs from the en gine had become a continuous shudder ing roar; the driving wheels were spin ning around four hundred times a min ute a half dozen times a second with a centrifugal force that, it would seem, ought to shatter their whizzing peri pheries to atoms. The day was a hot one and the air was at a dead calm, but it rushed through the narrow door lo front of the engine like a tornado. Small bridges were thundered over so quickly that they gave a single rumble as they whisked out of sight behind ; the express train coming from the opposite direction flashed like a meteor in a sin gle hot puff of air ; you might yell to the engineer two feet distant, and yet he would only see your lips move, with out hearing anything above the deafen ing roar of the engine, which drowns everything, excepting the shriek of the whistle. All the time the fireman stead ily shovels in coal or climbs around the engine with oil can in hand, his cloth ing fluttering so fiercely in tbe wind that it seems ii danger of being blown off. The engineer with his hand upon the lever, watches with a cat-like vigi lance, the rails sweeping under his wheels. The whole train is constantly under his eye, and he never allows his attention to be diverted for an instant. Lightning. The safest situation during a thun der storm is in the midst of a wood particularly if the neighborhood of the tallest trees be avoided. In such a place of shelter tbe traveler ma take refuge in full assurance that he will there be effectually shielded from harm. The greatest risk of injury from lightning is undoubtedly incurred by persons traveling across a wide and very flat plain, because iu such a situation they are the only elevated objects. To les sen the risk, which may here be some what serious, advantage should be taken of whatever undulations of surface may exist to keep upon the lowest ground. X'o doubt the prostrate position would in these circumstances afford greater security than tbe erect. It happens not unfrequently that an imals are killed by lightning under a tree to which they had betaken them selves for shelter. In these cases the tree is struck partly in consequence of its isolation, and partly on account of the presence of the animals Deneatn it. Usually there are several and often many of them assembled together, bud died probably by terror into contact one with another. The air, heated by their bodies, rises above them laden with moisture, derived mainly from their breath. Who has not noticed the cloud of vapor that in the early morning and in certain states of the weather hangs over a flock of sheep or herd of kine? The column of moist air, ascending through the branches of the tree toward the cloud, offers, in consequence of the comparatively high conductivity of water, a favorable passage for the elec tricity. A herd or cattle under a tree is thus exposed to a double risk; also it is evident that in the open country they are less secure from injury than human beings, who cannot affect the atmos phere in a like degree. The danger from lightning in a dwell ing house is exceedingly small. The materials used in building are, with the sole exception of tbe metals, very bad conductors, and the form of a house is not that which is favorable to the re ception of an electric charge. Towers and spires, the latter especially, pos sess that form ; but these structures are nearly always protected by conductors affixed to them. It has been suggested that chimneys may, through the con ductivity of their soot lining, attrac lightning. But as communication with moist earth is interrupted below the fire-place, the influence of the soot iu diminishing the total resistance is com pensated. A house, around the roof of which there is a system of water pipes reaching to the ground, is very effectul- ly protected. The timid may put their fears forest by affixing a conductor to the highest chimney, and burying the lower end sufficiently deep in the ground to be always in moist earth. The risk of personal injury from light ning is necessarily small. The condi tions favorable to the occurrence of ac cidents are few, and of such a nature that the combinations requsite for their fulfillment can not often bike place There are but two situations in which danger is to be apprehended, namely on the portions of a flat district that are destitute ot trees, and beneath the bran ches of an isolated tree standing in a spot that is not dominated at a short distance by higher ground. But even here the danger is not necessarily cer tain, for thunder clouds do not by any means invariably discharge to the ground. Bottled Maters. It is stated on good authority tint of the bottled beverages, none of them are what they profess to be. There is no sarsaparilla In "sarsaparilla," no gin ger in "ginger-ale," nothing of a nun eral character in "mineral water," and seltzer has nothing appertaining to tbe real seltzer water, or seltzers water In its comiiositioii except water. Ottawa beer is usually made with sugar, snake root and aromatics, which will acetify soon after the beer is manufactured. It should be made fresh every day, but it is said it is not. The carbonic acid gas will disguise the bad taste of stale Ot tawa beer until it has been swallowed, but soon internal disturbance takes place. Fresh Ottawa beer Is rather a pleasant beverage, aud kept freshly on tap at the drug stores, is popular in summer time. Xearly all mineral wa ter is aerated water, flavored with syr ups. Much of the ginger ale is arated water flavored with Cayenne pepper It is held that Cayenne pepper In small is rather beneficial than otherwise, and is really a healthy beverage as compar ed with others. Good ginger ale should be made with lemons, ginger, sugar and tartaric acid. Seltzer water is simply carbonated water flavored with salts. To the palate it is not very pleasant. It has quite an influence upon the bowels, and it fs often used by them who have imbibed too freely of intoxicants, for the purpose of neutralizing the effects of the liquors. Xone of the drinks re ferred to are injurious if their bases have been made in wholesome foun tains. Xearly all first-class druggists manufacture their own flavoring syr ups, and many who do not, purchase the imported French fruit essences. These come in bottles containing about a pint and a half, and retail at about seventy-five cents. The essences are obtained by expressing the fruit and concentrating the juice cold. Once opened, it will ferment in the bottle, unless sweetened and used in a short time. A bottle of fruit essence will serve to make several bottles of flavor. It is said the American strawberries and raspberries do not make as tine a quality of essence as the European fruits; pineapple and other fruit es sences of domestic manufactures are equal to the same varieties of imported essences. A TaU Vara. A man named Curl was telling, the other night, how many Indians he had killed during his three months resi dence iu the Black Hills. After he had talked half an hour,oiie of the listeners who had kept track of the number killed exhibited the fig ures. "I find," he exclaimed, "that you have killed 1,500 savages in three months." "Is that all?" exclaimed the un abashed Black Hiller. "Why. I be lieve you have left out a week's work there somewhere." "If you had such good luck killing Indians, why didn't you stay there?" demanded another suspicious listener. "Well, the truth is, gentlemen, I was afraid of ruining my left eye. I squint ed along my gun barrel so much that my face was being drawn out of shape, and the sight was so far gone that I had to be led about by a dog." "And you killed Indians while in that condition?" "I did, though I always felt a litt mean about it. I couldn't see to shoot, and so I'd run 'em down and kick 'em to death. It wasn't manly in me, and I want to ask the forgiveness of you gentlemen, right here and now." There was a long Bpell of appalling silence, and then some said that Euh. Francis bad bought a new coon dog. A Smart Girl. Good old Mrs. Call was very hard of hearing, being somewhat advanced in years, ner daughter Lydia was a blooming lass, who loved a good frolic, and knew well how to get up one. Ly dia had arranged a junket, and the young men and maids were all on hand. In the midst of the fun in popped Deacon to see how the widow fared. This was a wet blanket to the merri ment, and Lydia was all out of patience. She wished he would go, and by-and- by he got up to depart. "Oh, deacon," said Mother Call, "do not think of going before tea." The deacon, so strongly urged, re plied : "Well, I think I will stay, as the folks will not expect me before dark." "What did he say, Lydia ?" asked the widow. Lydia had a ready answer. "lie says he will not to-day, mother. as the folks will expect him home be fore dark. Why, how deaf you are, mother!" "Oh, well, some other day, Deacon, won't you ?" said Mother Call, as she showed the Deacon out. "Smart girl, that," said the old Dea con trudging along home. "She'll find her way through, 111 warrant." A Chain of Evidence. "This man, your Honor," said a law yer, who was prosecuting a Texas gen tleman for stealing a horse, "this man not only stole the horse, but we propose to prove that he did. He has a pred lection for that sort of business, and before I have done, I shall have woven about him a chain of evidence from which there can be no escape. Listen 'In the first place, g-i-l-t is written upon his brow. In the second place he was born at Horsehead, Massachusetts ; not Marblehead, if your Honor please, but Jumehead. At the age of five years he got a horse-chestnut fast in his mouth, and the physician, who was called in, said it was out of his line, and recommended a dentist, who knocked out seven of the boy's teeth before the chestnut could be recovered. I would like to call the attention of this very in elli gent iury to the fact that this was not an ordinary chestnut, but a horse chestnut; horse, horse, horse, horte- chestnut. And remember, too, If ym please, with what tenacity he clung to it ! Wneu a mere boy, such was his in ordinate desire for horses, that his mother could not keep any horse-radish about tbe house ! Why ? Because he would steal it. If his mother undertook to raise it in the garden he would stea it before it was half growo while it was a mere colt, or a filly, so to speak At tbe aee of ten he stole a horse, but afterwards returned it, when he dis covered, as he said, that it kicked in single harness, and baulked under the saddle. It was his conscience that kicked and baulked ! "At the age of fourteen, he was ap nrenticed to a nurse in a hospital. See the awful fatality? Hospital, hosspital, horsepital. H-o-r-a-e horse ; Wwpital. The wonder is that he didn't steal it ! "A few years later, he tried to lead off a horse pistol by the muzzle, and got shot in the hand. You see the horse pistol had sense enough to kick. When he was arrested for the crime for which be is now being tried, what do you sup pose was found on his person? Why, gentlemen of the jury, a bottle of Hos tetter'a bitters! Will you please note the kind of bitters Uostetter's bitters ; Uosstetter's, Horsetetter's stomach bitters, ll-o-r " "Shut up !" yelled the Judge ; "this isn t a spelling-bee." Beg pardon ; I'm a little hoarse, and only wanted to make myself plainly un derstood. 'And lastly," said the attorney, "what is the prisoner's name? Ah! what Is his name ! His name is Hosuier, Hoss-mer;II-o " begging your Honor's par don; "H-o-r-s.e llorsemer; John IL Horsemer ! And now, gentlemen of the jury, after you have weighed well this dam ning evidence of guilt, I am sure you w ill find the prisoner hori de eiMit , and return a verdict according to the facts set forth." The jury was out five minutes, and found the prisoner guilty in manner and form as charged, and that he should be shot at sunrise the next morning. Tbe Long Buv. The original form of the bow seems o have been preserved in a modified type, though the graceful little semi- arch which ail valentines accord to C'u id's bow, did not prove popular among the plain and simple niiuued Cannibuls who are uniformly opposed to mere "style." Their bows were of the most rustic description, and so far as is known, none of them were ever decorated with a bit of green ribbon or a rosewood back and tin tips. These luxuries have come of our advancing civilization, together with schools and faro banks and things of that kind, aud the poor savage of the middle ages, al though able to demolish a humming bird at sixty paces, had no green bag in which to tie up his bow, after shoot ing, nor any mahogany cabinet in which to hang it up out of the damp. Had he lived in the blazing light of the nineteenth century, it would have been bis proud satisfaction to dress in green knee breeches and alpine bat, miss the side of a straw stack at twenty paces, and after receiving the plaudits of ad miring multitudes dressed in muslin and caramels, it would have been his glory to march through the streets of with the green bag over his shoulder and stir up a perfect fever of excite ment among the small boys. From all authentic accounts it appears that dur ing the middle ages the bow grew in favor, though the era of green ribbons had not as yet arrived, and so far as can be ascertained, a forty-eight inch target, with an oil cloth cover was ne ver heard of in those days. Cross bows made their appearance about this time, and the First Regiment I. X. G. of Jerusalem, an organization having a great deal of tone to It, carried this arm, and got itself disliked by the en emy on that account. While the cross bow did very well for killing purposes it did not seem to gain favor among those who had contracted the habit of shooting at targets. The belles resi ding along the swell avenue in Athens said it was "a hateful old thing any how" and that "they wouldn't attend any more Saturday afternoon archery parties if they had to shoot with any thing that hurt their shoulders so much." Very soon tfter this the cross bow began to decline as a fashionable weapon which only goes to show how much influence the ladies have in sha ping the destiny and history of the world. But for the firm stand taken by tbe Athenian belles, the ladies of the present day might have been forced to stand up in their pull backs and shoot a cross bow, thus loosing the pic turesque effect which they are now able to produce. Thus do the fair ones in one age make smooth the path for their sisters who are to break hearts and spend money ages and ages after they have been gathered to their rest. The Bible speaks well of the bow, though Cain preferred a club, and Da vid had a weakness for tbe sling shot, while Samson is said to have chosen the law bone of an ass, a weapon, by the way, which is within easy reach of a great many individuals at the present time, and one which is still capable of doing fearful execution. There is great deal of history relating to arch ery, and the long bow which isirreva- lant and unnecessary to this short and concise record. The aim at this time simply to furnish some reliable statis tics concerning the origin aud progress of the sport, which every archer can cut out and paste in his or her hat, and read for information between shots, Xo one can expect to excel in archery unless he familiarizes himself with a! these points. Following the use of the bow down from the middle ages through England, where Robin Hood and his merry men tied on the green ribbons, which have since been such feature in the sport, and adopted quiver with a slipper pattern worked on it, we arrive by easy stages at tbe present developement of archery, the Tbompsonian period. It is sufficient to say that the sport as at present en- g-eu i". comes nearer, in its effects, to the original patent obtaiued by Cupid than it has at any time during a cj,.5e of several thousand years, aud this said the record is complete. A Multiplicity of Lees. The first fortnight I was in Ken tucky I visited about fifteen towns. At dinner, at supper, aud even at break fast I noticed that at the hotel In each place I seemed to have a prodigious number of what I thought were fried chicken legs placed before me. Every wnere a.nu at each meal tnere was no thing but these legs, always fried. And altera few days' experience of this kind 1 began to speculate upon the mat ter, and could not help but wonder what became of the chickens' bodies and other parts of that domestic bird There was nothing to eat really but corn bread, the everlasting and immor tal bacon, and these above-mentioned legs. Iu fact, the legs carried every thing before them. It was legs, legs, legs: At last, one day. six oi us sat down todiiinerat the Stonewall House, , Kentucky, and, of course, each gentleman had the fried legs set before him. We all felt healthy that dav, and each person sent out all of his dishes with an urgent request for an immedi ate renewal of what they had just pre viously contained which, of course, was promptly complied with. Back came two more legs apiece with the ve getables. I wanted to make some in quiry on the subject, but as there were two judges, one governor, one general and one colonel at the table with me, I thought it best not to betray ignorance of that section of the country or its customs. I really was ashamed to ask The next day 1 was in another town, and at dinner my experience of the pre vious day in regard to this matter was duplicated, and there was not only repetition of it, but legs were really more numerous. I noticed one rash canJidate for dyspeptic houors and prospective consumer of quasia ordered the third time and received two more legs. Then I could stand it no longer I would learn the secret of this great mystery if I had to perish in the at tempt. I made a mental calculation Eight persons at table ; each two legs- sixteen legs, each sends for more, and each receive two thirty-two legs ;one orders third time, with two legs as the result; grand total, thirty-four legs! Where were the seventeen chickens who owned those branches, I did not see one body. There was not even the faintest shadow of a gizzard visible, Then I called a sable servant and said : "Uncle Billie, where in heaveu's name are the bodies of those chickens? Do you cut the chickens' legs off and then let them go, and have the legs grow out again, and then repeat the surgit fcl operation ? Or do you darkies eat the bodies yourselves ?" There was a grin on that colored vo ter's face one and one-quarter yards long, English measurement. When he had gathered up the yawning aperture sufficiently to speak he remarked : "Why, boss, dem ain't chicken legs; dare squirrel legs; dey Is mighty plen ty around here sure. De Colonel shot ninety-five in de woods yesterday. De legs is de best of iein ; white loiks do not eat dere bodies." Oh, what a terrible mistake I made! The mystery was gone, the problem solved. A Courageous Toad. One would suppose that one dose of such hot food as bees would satisfy a reasonable toad, but the following story though hard to believe, is said to be au thentic: The toad in question squatted down near the bee-hive, and wben a bee flew near him, out went his tongue quicker than sight, and, with the sucking I n of his breath, he drew the bee into his mouth and swallowed him. It seemed as if the bee made its mark on the load's tongue and in its throat and stomach, for at each "gulp" Mr. Toad would rise on his haunches and Dlow out his breath, as if be were cooling a coal of fire in his mouth. And at the same time, he would feelingly press his fore feet (so like bands) against his throat, and pass them down outside his stom ach making two or three passes each time, as if to quiet the swallowed bee, and ease some inside pain that was burning worse than stomach ache. Having thus cooled his mouth and soo thed his pain, he would squat down again and catch another bee, each time repeating the blowing to cool the mouth, and the soothing pressure to quiet his inside troubles. What We Owe to Insects. To insects we owe wax and honey, silk and precious dyes, valuable medi cines, food for birds and many other animals, the fertilization and increase of plants necessary for the subsistence of many creatures, and thus, indirectly, for the preservation of man. In short, the human species, wholly deprived of the service of Insects, would fade from the face of our planet. So the hus bandman has only to make the best of It by learning to distinguish between his friends and bis foes, and bow to as- sift the beoeflcient operations of nature In encourairinir the former and check- ng the latter. Two Beautiful Mnrdereenee. At an early hour on the morning of the 17th of May. 1817 the inhabitantsof St Denis, one of the suburbs- of Paris, were startled by the discovery that the corpse of an aged woman had been found in the Rue Vaugirard. the only aristocratic and the most quiet street of the place, under circumstances which left no doubt of the fact that she had been murdered. She was taken to the Town Hall, and exhibited to public view just as she had been found. . The corpse was almost entirely naked. Only a part of a fine cambric chemise covered the upper part" of the body. Her head was terribly bruised, appar ently from the blows inflicted by a blunt instrument. From the. shrivelled con dition of her skin, and from the fact that she had but few teeth left in her mouth, it was evident that at the time of her death she must have been at least sixty years old. Who was she? Anil who had murdered her? At that time eveu Paris had but few clever detectives, the best o them hav ing been dismissed on account of the services they had rendered to the Em peror Xapoleon the First. Hence, it was not to be w ondered at that for two days no clew to the perjietrators of this crime was found. . The corpse of the murdered wouian was buriel early on the third day, and It was a t-'uly strange coincidence that at the saaie hour there was furnished to the authorities of St. Ieuis informa tion which enabled them iu the course of a few hours tt ferret out who had committed the atrocious crime. It was a letter addressed to the Com missary of 1 once that furnished this important information. Xo name was signed to the letter, which read a fol lows : . "If you v ill go to the youug ladies boarding school at Beveruay, you will find out who the murdered womau is, and, if you a. e sagacious enough, also her assassins. Thev are at the house." The Commissary of Police immedi ately repaired to the place indicated. where he was received by .Mine. I hest nay, the Principal of the school. He said to Mme. Chestnay : Is there an aged woman missing from tills house?" "An aged woman" she exclaimed. We had only one aged woman here my housekeeper, Mile. Susteiine. She is now on a visit to her sister in Aor mandy." 'When did she leave?" "Three days ago." "Can you tell rue what kind of a chemise she wore at that time?" The lady looked at him in surprise. Then she said : 'Mile. Sustenne was always very par. ticular about her undercloths. She never wore anything but very finecam- bric chemises, "How about her teeth?" "Monsieur?" "Excuse me; I have an object in ask ing tins question. Mile Sustenne had very few and very Dad teeth. "Did she have any enemies here?" "Enemies? Yes, monsieur. She was rather crabbed and sour, ami hence all my young girls hated her." 'Did any of the young girls hate her particularly r Let me see. l es ; .mat i.enor anil Sophie Ilrestou had, theother day a bit ter quarrel with her. But tell me, Mon?ieiir, why do you put all these questions to me?" "liecause Mile. Sustenne is undoubt edly the old woman who was found murdered at St Denis three days ago." Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu!" eried the ady, wringing her hands. "Please send for the two girls whom vou named last. The two girls made their appearance. They were only sixtee.i, tender, grace- ful and h;ndsome. What do you know about the mur der of Mile. Sustenue?" said the Com missary to them. The girls turned deadly pale. They made no reply. "Did you murder fieri thundered the Commissary. They burst into tears, and confessed that, having had a violent altercation with Mile. Sustenne, they had beaten er on the head until she was dead. hen they had striped her of her clothes and carried her in the dead of night to St. Ienis. The two beautiful murderesses were sentenced in a few days afterward to be branded on both shoulders with a red hot iron, then to stand in the pillory for three hours, and to be confined in the House of Correction for life. The Dos Torn not Vfl tome There was one homeless man who ex cited some indignation among his neigh bors who had not been visited by the storm. I met him at the ruin of the house from which Mrs. Twohey was) torn, to be thrown down a corpse hun dreds of feet away. This man, appar ently over 30 years of age, hard-featured, blear-eyed, in dilapidated clothing. wearing a strap around his waist to secure his trowsers, and walking with both his hands thrust in his pockets, pulled bis slouched hat over his watery eyes and spoke to me : "The family is all gone, iverywan; but the dog isn t dead yit. The dog's time didn't conic yit." He shrugged his shoulders, as if a thought of the dreadful truth had pene trated his understanding. "It's pretty hard, and you can't tell why the dog was lett aud the others was kilt. Of course, I don t look as if I knowd much bnt I know more, nor you think. The reason why the dog wasn't tuk was that the dog's turn didn't come. Got any fault to find with that ? The dog's turn'll come soon enough." And then the man wandered about, with his hands in his pockets, looking at the fragments of the house, aud only glancing up to repeat his remarks about "the dog" hen strangers approached. The term as one, no doubt, intended in self- reproach. The man was Michael wobev, and he was drunk, lie was spared, but his wife was dead, and he; and his children were homeless. -
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