7 Tm Forest Republican b published every Wednesday, by Q J. E. WENK. Office In Smearbaugh & Co.'i Building ELM BTHEET, TIONE8TA, TA. Term, - Dl.uuPerYear, o subscriptions received for a shorter period than three month. Correspondence solloitol From all parts of the country. Mo noiloe will be taken ot anonymous communications. RATES OF ADVERTISING t One Square, one ln"h, one inrtlon..i ! 00 One Mpisre, one Inch, one ninth . . Im One Fquare. one Inch, tnree month. . s ) One Square, one inch, one yea;- 10 IM 1 .o Kipisres, on3 yeir 1-Vim Quarter (Jolumn. one year Sum Half Column, one year .VMM One Column, one year I'K) ') Legal advertisements ten cents per line each insertion. Marriage and deith notices irr.iMs. All bill, for yeany advertisement collected quarterly Temporiry advertisements must lie paid In advance. Job work oaah on dellvr. bORE LICAN. VOL. XXX. NO. 47. TIONESTA. PA., WEDNKSDAY. MAHCII (.), 1898. S1.00 PER ANNUM . REPUB ST The Uganda Riilway lias now ad vanced seventy miles into the interior of Africa. A missionary writes that bicycles are seen every day' in the streets of Uganda, and that the mis sionary rode on liia wheel all the way from the coast to Mengo a three weeks' trip. Mrs. Mabel Briorly, of Matamoras, Fenn., big and brawny, is the leader in a new sphere of usefulness for women. She has just been appointed a substitute "motorman" on the cars of the Middletown (N. Y.) trolley company. We may now expect to hear of women as policemen and fire men, cjaculatos the Now York Herald. The Maine hunters who have shot at men under tho impression that they were deer have provod exccllont marksmen this season. Though none of the human targets was nearer than 200 yards, and some fully 1000 yards away, of the eighteen shot at fourteen have either fallen dead or died within a few minutes, and of the wounded two will be cripples for life. Perhaps tho smallest mail in tho world is that which is despatched yearly to Tristan d'Acunha from St. Helena. The last annual mail carried ten letters, three newspapers aud two packages of books. Tristan d'Acunha is the principal of a group of three islets in the South Atlantic, the others being Nightingalo Inland and Inacces sible Island. lis population is fifty three. Professor Gates, of the Smithsonian Institution, clainiB that human vicious ness is caused by poisons in the cells of the brain, and that it can be eradi cated by medical treatment. Since the removal of a human Btomach, without harm to its owner, we are pre pared to believe anything, but vicious- ness is so superabundant throughout the world that we caunot think the medical fraternity will ever be equal to its extermination, even though Profesjor Gates's theory may be true, Professor Schooling, in a paper bo fore the statistical society, of London, gives for tho eight principal cuuses of insanity, the following percentage of every one hundred lunatics: Drink, thirty-three and six one-hundredths; domestic troubles, fifteen and one one hundredth; mental anxiety, thirteen and one one-hundredth; old age, thir teen and two one-hundredths; adverse oircumstauccs, thirteen; accidents, six and five one-hundredths; religious excitement, four one-hundredths; lore affairs, one and two one-hundredths With respect to the number c fatalities charged to suicide during the year 1807, tho Chicago Tribune finds that not less than CG00 persons killed themselves during that period of time. As is usually the case, quito a large percentage of these victims were physioiaus; but the list also in eludes lawyers, actors, editors, busi ness men and clergymen. The various causes assigned by investigating authorities for these suicides are given in the following table: Despondency, 2889: insanity, 4G7; . liquor, 270; ill health, 35G; domestic infelicity, 301; disappointed love, 271 ; business losses, 124, and unknown, 1922. Of the total number of suicides above indicated, 2384 were brought about by tuking poison, 2138 by gun or pistol shots, 870 by hanging, 590 by drowning and 637 by throHt cuttiug. As to the re maining cases there can be no classi fication made. Some of the parties met death iu front of loooinotives, others by hurling themselves from high altitudes aud others by blowing themselves up with dynamite. Accordiug to a recent Loudon esti mate only about 25,000 American tourists visited the Euglish capital iu the course of the pust season, and this is regarded as a very poor catch. The jubilee was a great disappointment as an attraction for cousins from over the water. It was exported to bring them over iu flocks, all eager to spend money, but it seems to have had a deterrent effect, ou the whole, aud shop keepers aud hotel keepers suf fured rather thau profited by the ftstivilies. Still, even 25,000 Auieri caua are very much butter than uoue and the calculations a to how much better are decidedly interesting. The average tourut from "the State," we re told, acatters about 01000 while luukiug a three mouths' trip iu Kurope. Thin, multiplied by 2 1,0' Ml, make 125.000,000, and of that amount, it is believed, Loudon receive. I ut leant two-fiftha. 1'aria get. more Auiericau money thau Ij udou does, uot becuiise wore Auiericau go there, but because the Freueb capital wiua the trade of all the wuiuru, aud this i both lui-, i aud iuuii profitable Ihau that of the ineu, to whose ucela aud tastes tiiu Luudou ahopa more especially tutu. A SNOW All ths valleys were dim with snowirg, uenr, 1 Knew. Over the hills the wind was blowing, Tet In my dream my heart was Bolug. Ever to Hud where dowers wore growing, Dear, for you. 1 The "High-Top By SOPHIE BWIFT. lit HEY all cried every one of the Dells, from Peggy, who was sixteen, down to Kufus (who was four and despised a cry-baby), when old f Ti : i --e-, away. He was such "!--i3t a tried and trustv friend, and, if he was sixty, such a con genial companion. He wus always ready to go fishing or coasting with the boys, or to take the girls to drive; although he was a bachelor and lived alone, he had a double carriage and the largest sleigh on Pippin Hill be cause he had as large a heart, Peggy said. He knew so much about the wild things iu tho woods as "The Hunter's Own Book," and on a rainy day or when one had the mumps or measles he would toll stories by the dozen stories that were worth tell ing, too, for ho had been " 'round the world and home again," and knew nil there was to know about cannibals and buccaneers and wild men, and all such distinguished and interesting people. It happened that tho only houses ou the tip-top of Pippin Hill were the Belfry (I suppose the Bells' house may have received that name because Papa Bell always spoke of his children as his "small fry;" anyway, that is what every one iu Bloomsboro' oalled it) and the Pigeon house, which had belonged to Mr. Pigeon's grandfather. The houses backed up to each other, and there was a mutual backyard fence, so, of course, it was very desir able that the neighbors should be friendly aud congenial; more than this there was a mutual apple tree. The guarled, old "high-top sweeting" was directly ou the boundary line be tweon the two estatos, aud the mutual fence had been cut in two to make space for it. Its branches were low and spreading, in spite of its high top, and they spread very impartially over the Bells' smooth lawn aud over Mr. Pigeon's orchard, and dropped their delicious fruit early, the first sweet apples tnat there wero almost as evenly as if it were measured ou each of their owner's land. The only dif ference was that the August sunshine lay longer upon Mr. Pigeon's side, bo the fir.t red and yellow, mellow and juicy apples dropped upon his orchard grass aud he tossed them up to Christine in her seat iu the low crotch of the tree, the seat that he had made for her. It was Chi'isliuo who thought the most of Mr. Pigeon aud he of her, be cause they both had a twist, Christine said. She could always speak of her trouble cheerfully, eveu jokingly. You would scarcely have though that she minded it utall; it was a spinal weakness which had bowed her shoul ders and twisted her head to one side. The others didn't mind much when Christiue was left out of things; thoy were a rough, merry set, but Mr. Pigeon had always remembered her. His twist was in one of his legs; he had to wear an uncomfortable iron boot, and walked with a queer, side ways motion. When Becky, who was eleven and was called tho Bloomsboro' Budget because she carried all the news, caino home with the dreadful intelligence that Mr. Pigeon was going to move away, no one would believe it. "la the first plaoe it's too dreadful to be true, aud in the next place he would have told us," said Peggy. But it really proved to be true. Mr. Pigeon's sister his own sister I had gone to law to obtiin a share of her grandfather's estate, which he ' had failed to bequeath to her because she bad gone contrary to his wishes in some way, aud the only share she would have was that old estate on Pippin Hill. Perhaps the law might force her to take something else as her share since ho had held possession there so long; but she was Hitty, aud he should give it up to her. That was what Mr. Pigeon said in answer to the iudiguuut remonstrauoes of the Bells. She was Hitty; that was all he would say; perhaps it wasn't much of a reason, but the Bells understood. We all know what it is to give up things to people just because they are Iky or Polly or John. So it happened that the Bells' dear Mr. Pigeon went away to a little house that he owned down at Pequan ket Mills aud Miss Mehitable Pigeon came to live at the old place on Pip pin Hill and owned half of the high top sweeting tree. Aud the very tirst tuiug sue did (t was September when she came was to threaten to have Tommy Bell arrested, because when he shook their side of the tree her side shook too, aud she said the top of the tree leaned toward their tide aud more apples fell there, so when the apples were picked aud divided she must have au extra bushel. She threatened to have their yellow kitteu drowned because he scampered after the flying leaves iu her garden aud, she did have their cross gobbler killed be cause he rau after her red morning sown, aa a gobbler will, you know, aud gobbled at her. He wasn't much oaasulkha seat him horn plucked DREAM. There were no flowers by hill or river, Hwet t- sllln". Pcil down where shadowy willows shiver I heard a Hope in the branches quiver. And I sent it home to your heart forever. My Valentine. Mabel Karle, la Harper's Bazar. Sweeting" Tree. 4X m I r ', se and dressed, with the message that she should have eaten him if sie had not feared he would be tough t She complained that Becky's pea cock squawked and Dicky's Guinea pigs squeaked, and tho vane on their stable had "a rusty squeak that kept nor awake nights; and if one of the littlo Bells mounted the fenco she csmo out and "shooed" him off as if he were a chicken. Christiue, who was inclined to look on the bright sido and to think well of every one, said that she would proba bly grow better when they got better acquainted, aud she gavo Tommy and little Rufus five cents each not o nso their bean slingers over the fence or make faoes through the knothole. But instead of growing better their new neighbor grew worse. She had the mutual fence built up ton feet high, she had the branches of the sweeting tree lopped off whore they interfered with the fence, and Chris tine's seat thrown down to the ground so roughly that it was broken. She snid she had let peoplo imposo upon her all her life, aud sho wasn't going to any more. Papa Bull, who was an easy man and absorbod in his business, said ho supposed that so many children and squeaking things - did make them troublesome neighbors; but he thought they should have to remonstrate with Miss Pigeon abont the .fence, because it took away so much of their sun shine. Christine begged him to wait; she always would believe that Jpeople were going to be better, aud she knew there must bo something good abont Miss Pigeon because she looked like her brother "only the twist seemed to be in her mind, poor thing!" It was November when Christine s seat was thrown out ot the tree, so she could not have used it any more that season anyway; aud when any one asked her how she was going to do without it iu the spring, she always answered: "Perhaps Miss Hitty will be good by that time." But that transformation didn't seem in the least likely to auy ono else. She never forgot .that Mr. Pigeon had said she was Hitty, though how she could ever be Hitty to anybody was more thau the other youug.liolls could understand. Christine wonld bow to her, too, and smile, shyly, although Miss Pigeon ouly scowled dreadfully in response. Par more difficult to forgive than their own wrongs was the injury that she had indicted upon her brother. He wrote to them doleful letters which showed plaiuly how homesick he was for the good air and the good-fellowship of Pippin Hill. One of the neighbors who saw him at Pequanket said one would hjirdly know him ho had "pined away" so. Christine turned a little pale when she heard thin abont Mr. Pigeon, and she put on her thinking-cap. She couldn't go to school like the others, she oouldu t go skating; in fufct, there were so many things she couldn't do that it would have been very dis couraging to one who believed less firmly than Christine did that thiugs as well as people were going to be better; but that gave her all the more timo to wear her thiukiug-cap. And Christine's thoughts were pretty apt to blossom into deeds some way. Christine had made the Christmas wreaths of evergreen aud holly from their own Pippin Hill woods, and idle had sent two beauties to Miss Pigeon, who had promptly returned them with the message that she didu't waut such rubbish littering up her house. Now when they heard (that sad news from Mr. Pigeon she was making valentines. She had a very dainty knaok with both pencil aud brush, for a fourteen-year-old girl, and her valentiues were more beautiful than any that could be bought in the shops, or so Blooms boro' young people all thought. The fashion of seudiug valentiues might wane elsewhere, but always flourished iu Bloomsboro', perhaps be cause Christine Bell kept it up. She sent thein to the very last people who expected to have a valentine to ne glected! ld people and forlon sick peo ple, to Biddy Maguire just from tho old oouutry, aud "kilt" with home sickness, aud to Antony Burke, the old niiber, for whom no one bad a civil word and who, perhaps, didn't de serve one. And for every valentiue that was disregarded or thrown im patiently aside, a dozen made a little warmth aud comfort in a sad heart; for nobody has yet begun to under stand how great is the day of small thiugs. Christine was more mysterious than usual this year about her valentines; she colored when Peggy said she would better send one to Mihs Pigeon, but they never thought she would; they thought she was ouly sensitive about her Christmas wreath. hen Mr. Pigeou went away he gave Chris tine au old desk that he had had since he was a boy. It had initials aud hearts and anchors out into it aud was whit tied at every comer j you would have known if you'd seen it anywhere that it had belonged to a boy. But Chris tine would have it iu her own room; she thought it was beautiful. It had his lioy -letters aud diaries in it, and she had laughed aud cried over theu. And now she had found in that old desk material for the very queerest valentine she had ever made; and nit hough she liked to share the fun of making her valentines with theothers, she was a littlo secretive abont that. What should the paper be but a leaf from one of the old diaries, one side all written over in an unformed, boyish hand; and this is what was written on it, the iuk faded by time: "leant bare to rite becos lilty has the Feevcr and i cant barn knot to rite becos It semes like tellng somboddy. sho held nil baud tlte when she did knot now eny bodily last nltn ami I did knot lt thorn send me to bed the fellers say If she docs ill i hav other sisters but they are knot lilt y the fellers do not understand wen anybody sals she will ewer hnva bo like our agustii hlty sals the Tom Tinker verso and thnt meens me ns Is rote on tho 1st lent of this try ml name Is Thomas Tlnkhnm I'ignon hlty hns Rot n Temper but so hav a flood Mny l'oetde and she Is flood way rnsido and she is hlty and she and I will alwys liv together but I cant bare to rite env more fur I want to now wlint tho doktcr suK they say a feller must be A Man but wen it Is hlty I cant bare" Here the words became illegible on the old yellow paper; there were blots and smudges as of team. Though valentines are supposed to bo dainty, Christine didn't try to clean it a bit 1 And on the unwritten side, instead of painting any of her pretty flowers or drawing hearts or enpids, rsho only wrote "the Tom Tinker verse" which Hitty had lovingly quoted to herbroth--er: "Tom Tinker's my true love, and I am his dear, I'll gang along wi' him his budgot to boar.'' It certainly was a very queer val entine. Christiue thought it would probably bo returned, even more scornfully than the Christmas wreath if Miss Pigeon should guess who sent it aud sho would be likely to guess that it came from tho Belfry; for she kuew that her brother had given them many of his belongings. She sent it with fear aud trembling, and she told none of the others, for the older ones seemed, in their hearts, to share the feeling of Tom and little Kufus, that the only proper form of approach to Miss Pigeon was bcan- Bhnger in haud. The valentine wasn't returned; but nothing seemed to come of it. The Bells' jane heard from Miss Pigeon's Jane that her mistress had neuralgia. One day after March had come, aud a bluebird had been seen to alight upon tho high-top sweeting tree, as Chris tine came along the garden path there came a shrill, imperative voice through the knothole in the fenco. "If you have any more of thoso leaves, stuff them through the .key hole; if you have the whole diary throw it over the fonce." Of course Christine wasn't going to do that with the diary that seemed so precious; but she did seud it urouud to Miss Pigeon's door by old Jeremy, the gardener, for nouo of the boys would go. It was about a week after that a mau made, under Miss Pigeon's direction, a new seat iu the crotch of tho apple tree a seat that was delightfully com fortable for a back that wasn't straight. Miss Pigeou seemed to kuow just how. When it was finished she went up aud examined it aud tried it. Theu she called to Christiue, who was Bitting ou the porch. "I'm a cautankerous old woman. I was born cantankerous," she said. "But there's your seat!" No one at the lii lfi y knew what to think of Miss Pigeou; it was little Kufus opinion that a good fairy had tapped her with her wand and turned her into something else, aud he was much disappointed to find, on peep ing through the knothole, that she looked just the same. "It's delightful," Christine said, slowly. "But it isn't exactly what I meant by the valentine," sho added, to herself. But a few days after, what Chris tiue hud meant by the valentine real ly did happen! aometimca things that seem too good to be true do ootuu to pass iu this world. Miss Pigeon mouuted .the high buggy in which she drove herself uud went dowu to Pequanket ; when she came l.avk Mr. Pigeon v as with her! Tommy die covered it first as they drove into the yard anil raised a about. All the young Bells rushed pell-mell into the applu tree au 1 dropped from its branches into Miss l'lgeou'a orchard even lVgury who wa autccu shouting aud laughing aud crying all together. They quite forgot Miss Pigeon uutil her barali voice broke into the whirlwind of greetings; w ith all its harshness there lit i queer little quaver iu it! 'fle a come back and he's going to stay," she said. "It is he that be longs here and not I. If you're liorii with a cross grained disposition you've got to get over it when you ru young or you'll have to have moie'u a teu-fmd fence betwveu you and other people! I'm going back to nursing people iu a hospital yes, I can, though you wouldn't think it; uud they like me! There's a doctor I know who has in vented a new contrivance for for inukiug backs straight" her voice really broke now, but alio recovered herself iustautly; "they're easier to Htraighteu thuu crooked dispositioua! I'm going to seud one here, au I want her to try it. She nodded toward Christine, aud then she turued away suddenly. Little Kufus ran after lu r prudeutly keeping his hand ou the beau-sliuger in his pocket. (They had discovered at au early stage of the ac quaintance that if Miss Pigeon had a weakness it was a terror of the beau sliugei'S. ) "Are you really just the same? Didn't a good fairy turn you iuto somethiug else?" ho demanded, breathlessly. Miss Pigeou turued and looked dowu upou him, her strong features working. "Yes, she did!" she answered, grutlly. "Did she tap you with her waud?" pursued little Kufus eagerly, de lighted with this eouUrwation of be liefs that were scorned in his home circle. "She didu't tap mo with a wand," snid Miss Pigeon; "she sent me a val entine!" The Independent. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. Perfect weather in India permitted the securing of valuablo scientific re sults of the solar eclipse. A naturalist of eminence fiuds that land birds make their jortrneys in tho day time aud water birds at night. In a new bicycle saddle a fluid-tight cushion is filled with glycerine or sim ilar syrup aud enclosed by a leathor covering to make a flexible seat. Very satisfactory trials have been recently made of n life boat mado of pumice stone, which it was found would remnin afloat with a load, eveu when full of water. The experiments in progress for several weeks on the Air Line Division of tho Now Haven Kailway. iu the nso of crudo petroleum for laying tho dust, have proved that material to be well adapted for the purpose. A new process of manufacturing artificial stone has been patented in England. The stono is found iu steel molds, which can be adjusted to any size, shnpo or design for which the finished stone made bo required, nnd solid blocks weighing several hundred pounds havo been easily produced. The sin face of the sea is estimated at 100,000,000 square miles, taking tho whole surface of tho globe at 197,- 000. 000, aud its greatest depth sup posedly equals the height of tho highest mouutaiu, or four miles. Tho Pacific Ocean covers 78,000,000 square miles, the Atlantic 25,000,000, the Mediter ranean 1,000,000. The Bovne do l'Eleetricite states that tho construction of the first eleo trio railway in France is to be com menced immediately by the Paris, Lyons and Mediterranean Company. The line will connect Foyet and Chamouuix. The carriages will be auto-motor, aud the enrront will be taken from a lateral rail by menus of metallic brushes. The line will have a length of over eleven miles, and will cross tho River Arvo five times. A company to be known ns tho St. Petersburg Company for tho Trans mission of Power from Waterfalls has recently been organized at St. Peters burg, Knssia. to put down plants for the utilization of tho Nurowa, Imatra and Wuozen waterfalls in tho genera tion of electrical power, and to trans mit to and distribute the same in St, Petersburg and surrounding districts for electric lighting and power pur poses. The capital of the company is said to be 52,000,000. It has beeu discovered by Dr. Bruce that the tsetse fly, so fatal iu Africa to cnttle, is viviparous, not laying eggs, but bringing forth living, fully grown maggots. Those larvio shortly after being born transform iuto pupie, the external larval skin hardening and as sumi ig an oviato shape, with ears at ono cud. This discovery has been authenticated, says Nuturo, by Perin guey, who has bred from pauparia sent by tho Governor of Natal, which is undoubtedly this fly. The Tlilel-Trackera. Another curious profession among the Bedouin is that of the "thief Irackers. " Being without paddocks or stables, and their animals always more or less ut liberty, theft of stock would appear to be an easy and fre quent matter. Each tribe, howovcr, has its little company of "traokers," and it would bo either a bold or au ignorant man indeed who ventured to interfere with au Arab's live stock. I have heard of one instance in which a camel stolen from a camp near Is mailia was, after weeks of labor, successfully tracked to the Sudan, where the beast was recaptured and summary vcigrauoe wreaked upou the robbers. Selected for natural ability, and trained from boyhood to discrim inate between each animal's foot-print, thin faculty becomes so highly de veloped that a particular horse's or ouniel'a trail in unerringly picked up from among the thou -muds of impres sions ou the dusty highway. Century Magazine. l-erfrrllna uf Vlr-M..l.llit. The perfection to which inicrometri eal mechanisms uud the results of their industrial application ure now brought is illustrated iii u return liable degree in the production of certain descrip tions of woven wire gn'i.o and cloth, some of these being made with meshes bo iuliuiteMiial as to number 40,000 of tho latter to a single square inch. The more delicate classca of wire - those ahich stand related to scientific instru ment are of Mich fineness as to l eu ib r their measurement a mutter of dil'.iculty ; this task, houcvur, has been made practicable, and platinum wire hut be. u drawn 1-7000 uf un inch und to eveu greater liiicucsH. Aluminum w ile, too, lias been thuu u as line to be measured practicully by any gauge or instrument. Irou bus ulo been so attenuated Unit over two and one-half miles ill length weighed only cue ounce, but a elill uioro remarkable iu Mance of thia clasi of mechanical intin ipulatioii 14 the ilia tug of twenty- 1. nir grains of old on a silver wire to 1J0 uiilea. 4,retlllHa .tiilouil. A South tSi:t Islander greets a friend by flinging a jur of water over his heuJ. Iii Knssia it is correct for gentlemen to pi est til l ton lie. I Is of ladies whom tiny know intimately with their lips, and in ( icriniiiiy uud other Continental nation kissing be tween moil ia by no means uncommon. Novel J itllc f Ukliiui, One of the Hovel ideus of decorative cried iu Japan is to catch fireflies, I keep them lu a cage or box of w ire ! until you huvo company and then re lease them iu the g.u.l.'U for the . fluents to a-luiiie aud tulk about. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES TOLD Br THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. X Modern Niv.'lM.tetim Diversion A Hit.nane Ksplannt Inn .Worse Yet Itlset.ll.ie Mnw Ills F.rror After the lloom Might Hare llrrn Wanlinl, Ktc. Chapter T. Maid tine. Chapter If. Man Too. Chapter III. Maid Won. Chapter IV. Lovers Two. Chapter V. Jladn One. Chicago News. Mnselllll Diversion. "What ail the glass-eater?" "He got a bit of bone iu the turkey hash." IHclillnc. "Do you have strict discipline in your oflioe?" "Yes; nobody dares to laugh unless tho boss does." Chicago Kecord. Worso let. "I cured my husband of finding fault with the coffee." "How?" "I let him make it himself ono morning." A IMscreimnry. " Picture Dealer "And the artist died before he was thirty " Mrs. Newrocks- "He did? And what do you mean by telling mo ho was an old master?" New York Jour nal. Haw Ilia Krror. Brown "I used to think talk was cheap." Jones "What makes you think it isn't?" "My lawyer has sent me a bill." Life. A Delicate Question. "Old man, I'm sorry to hear that you aud your wife have separated did any one come between you?" "Y'es, her father and mother, three maiden auuts and a grandmother." Life. Ills Opinion. "What are you doing, Jimmie?" "Beadiu" th' dictionary through." "How do you like it?" "Oh, some o' th' words is good, but others hain't much sense iu 'cm." Judge. "Huesst" Fred "Suppose I should ask you to be my wife, what would you nay?" Anna "Ouess." Fred "Oh, I haven't the least idea. What would it er rhyme with?" Auno "Ouess." A Humane Kx.hiuntlon. "Kitty, I can have bird wings on my hat after all." "Why, it is cruel." "No; the milliuor says these are the wings which the birds shed naturally every year." Chicago Kecord. After the Honm. Woolsey West "Ten years ago all the land around here sold for $1. 23 an acre." Hudson Rivers "Aud what duos it sell for now?" W. W. "Tuxes." Brooklyn Life. Wllllteil a Heat. "Won't you take this seat?" said the gentleman iu the car, rising uud lifting his hut. "No, thank you," said the girl with the skates over her an 'I've been skating aud I'm tired of sittiiigdowu." Appropriate. Mrs. Parvenuo "Now that wo've got into society, we really must have a coat-nf-arms. Can't you help mo with a suggestion?" Mr. 1. "If we must havo one iiiako it a postage stamp. You kuow it sticks to a thing until it gets there." New York Journal. Visions fl.f the lllryrle 1'ump. "I think," suid tho physician to the now patient, "that what you need is fresh air." A worried look swept over the pa tient's face. "Great Scott!" ho exclaimed. "Are my bicycle tiresjtlat again?" Wash ington Star. Might Have llcell Washed. Wistful Willis "I'm glud I didn't live out West duriu' do Injun lightin' days." Languorous Willis "Why?" Wistful Willis "Why, do Injuns an' do scouts was alius scoiirin' do plains, mi' they'd probably havo scoured us," Syracuse Herald. A Market For Theui. Hoax "Scribbler must have par sis. He paid good money to-day for a bundle of almanacs over twenty years old." Joax "lie's anything but crazy. There are jokes in those almanacs which he anglicizes ami sells to tho Loudon comics." Philadelphia Ke cord. Miorl-Malilcil. lie ' It is strange how frequently inventors fail to realize the import ance of their own work." She "What is the particular in stance?" He "Why, here is a statement that tho inventor of the hairpin in tended it to be used simply iu dress ing the hair!" Puck . Mluahle IKperlellee. "Johnnie," said his father, "I'm surprised to hear that you have dared to dispute with your mother." "ilut she was wrong, pa," replied Johnnie. "That has uothii g to do with it," said the old man; "you might just us well profit by my experience und learn once for all, that when u woman says a thing is so, it is so, whether it ia w or uot." Chicago News. SNOW SONU Poos the snow fall at sea? Yes, when the north winds blow, When the wild clouds fly low, flat of each ffloomy wing, Hiasltig and murmuring, Into the stormv sea l'allctli the snow. lines the snow hide the sea? On all Its tossing plains Never a tlake remains: Irtft never restoth there; Vanishing everywhere, Into the hungry sea Falleth tho suow. What means the snow at sea? Whirled In th" veerinir blnst. Think ly the flukes drive past; Kncli like a childish ghost Wavers, and then Is lost. Type of life's mystery. In tlie forgetful sea V.ldetll tho suow. - Henry Van Dyko. HUMOR OF THE DAY. Virtue, like dieting, is mil always pleasant, but it pays. Atehisou Globe. Cholly (quoting) "If thou will needs marry, marry a fool." Mabel "t)h, Mr. Liglithea 1, this is so sud den!" Standard. lie "You look sweet enough to kiss, in that dress." She "My dressmaker told me she didn't think I'd bo disappointed in it." Puck. No, do not borrow trouble - Tis folly without end: Why should you sorrow double, When you have woe to lend? I'hlengo Uncord. "Aunt Emelino, what is being well balanced?" "Well balanced? Well, it is having sense euou h to make more friends than eneinie " Detroit Free Press. Mistress "Mary, didn't you hear the door boll ring?" Maid-r"Yes'm; but it's probably somebody wants to see you. My company always calls at the back door." Boston Transcript. Tho Lady "Can you match this piece of ribbon?" The Gent "No, lady. You may remember that it was one of the matchless bargains we ran last Mouday." Indianapolis Journal. Nurso Girl "I lost sight of the child, mum, and " Mother "Good gracious! Why didn't you speak to a policeman?" Nurso Girl "1 wus speaking to wun nil the toime, mum." Tit-Bits. "Alas," sighed the oyster, as he felt himself being conveyed from the plate on the end of the tablo knife, "alas! this is au end to all my hopes of getting into good society." Indi anapolis Journal. Mr. Wiggles "Tho true facts of the case wero that " Mrs. Wiggles (interrupting) "Joshua, did yon ever kuow any facts that weren't true?" And sho never heard the rest of that story. Sonierville Journal. "You ought to have your cars boxed," said Miss Sharpleigli to a young freshman, who had just stolen a kiss. "Well," ho asked, "why don't you do it?" "lwould," sho re plied, "if had a box large enough." Chicago News. "I'm all in the dark about how these bills are to be paid," said Mr. Hardiip to his wife. "Well, Heury," said she, us she pulled out a yellow one, and laid it on top of the pile, "you will be if you don't pay that one, for that's tho gas bill." Staudard. Mrs. Skinner- "Oh, but I wish I was a man." Mr. Skiuncr--"Wby, so, my dear?" Mrs. Skinner "I was just thinking to-day if I was only a man, how happy I could make my wifo by giving her a diamond neck lace for a birthday present." Chicago News. Brokeleigh "I don't like that fel low Keene. lie's too shrewd." Stke leigh "What makes you think so?" Brokeleigh "Well, 1 went to his houso last night to borrow fflO, uud he tillered to lend mo a dollar before I hud a chance to ask him for the ten." Brooklyn Life. She (gushingly)-- "There are days when we seem more iu unison with Nature thuu at other times, when our hearts seem to bunt in accord w ith the sublime harmony of the universe. Havo you ever noticed it V" lie ' In deed I have. It is always that way with me on pay-day." - Tit-Bits. "You hero ugain?" said tho man of the house. "There's no excuse for such fellows us you. This is a year of prosperity." "Yes, sir," humbly 'responded Tull'old Kuut', drawing the back of his hand across his nose, "hut I'm one o' these fellers that can't stall I prosperity." Chicago Tribune. "I would go with you to the end of the earth," ho assorted passionately. "Not with mo, you wouldn't," sho re plied, coldly. "Why not?" he de manded. "For two reasons," she an swered. "One ;. that I'm not goiug, and tho other is that there isn't uuy." When one meets the prosaic new woman one bus to be careful w hat he says. Chicago I'ost. K lilile OU .r I i!t. lu Egypt mi l tho Soudan, iu India and all through the East uu enormous trade is curried on in vegetable oils, which take the place of our butter und margarine products. One of the prill cipal edible oils is obtained from tin; ground nut, known in France as "iiru chide oil." Over 1,000,000 hundred weight of these nuts are annually im ported iuto that country for its pro iliictiou. Belgium also takes vast quantities. Aiuchide oil is au excel lent soap maker, besides being au edi ble oil, and when cotton oil is high i:i price will compete well wiih it in this branch ot industry. In rrauce uloue there is already a very large con sumption of it, to be counted iu tons of thousands of tons. l-aria'a aceiel roller. The secret police of I'm is is quid! distinct f. the regular- force. The members are generally unknown to each other, and one detective is often employed to watch auother
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers