RATES OP ADVERTISING! One Sq'iare, erne Inch, on insertion..! 1 00 One -quire, one ineh, one Mimfi. . 8 O.-ie t-'qure. on inch, ture? in mtln. . fi One -iiirp, one Ineh, one year..... 10 "i I wo Square, one year .... . "0 (,'uiner Go.umn. one year fU 00 bail lJo u nn, oue year ft1) Oil Une Column, one year 1"' eial advertisements ten cent per line each intiertion. Marnnes ant deith notices s?ratl. An bills. oryar.yadrvruse Hint collected quarterly Temp"rary aJverusemeuti must tie pai l in advano. Job woi k cauli on delivery. KEPUBL , ..-!! 'i '1 every V, ,v, ' ' J. c. . Ucc in Smcarbiugh & Co? Eu'U.'2:i ELM 8T RF. E T, TIONEMTV VJl. Tern, Ml.no Tor Your, ICAN y ?o nherlptlnn. received for a shorter j nd than three nvvirn. i)rrHiiin(tcn"0 s vii 'lie 1 Iro n nil pirts of '"Miuiry.. No noilf will bo lng of uous co uuiunlouloii. VOL. TIONESTA, FA., WEDNESDAY; JAN. 13, 1897. S1.00 PER ANNUM. Vfo buiiil mora schools, colleges mi t free libraries than any oilier of luo civilized 1 mni .4. Kloptotnntiia must l'O l i t dv.r n a of ' tlio ftri' tocral io disca'r'. fluilt'S tliO C'll'c.l;.; rich people ever i-c- li -evince n roil! t ' . r, i.avs ho Mill Any- a liisrd, BWift filiate what this Tho bieyv'e is now being blamed in jisrt for fttl J i n rt off iu subscriptions to foreign missions. A well-known divine recently stated that tho relative 'ntorsaa taken ia cycling nnd in tlio conversion of tho heathen wa9 cs f 100 lo a dime. Munich ami Vienna, toppiied with '-!)tift w.iler, nvorago only seven '; . it typhoid fever to 100,000 j -ition. In New York tho m twenty, whilo iu Pittsburg Luuisvillo, which use river water, it is W) bigfe rvi sovcuby-seveu. m , ' - The ruqst "eloetrio" village in Eu rope is Borobcko, in Belgium, whore a plant baa been put in operation ac cording to plans drawn by Professor f-'olioontges, of Ghent-. All streots, alleys, snil privnto roncln, all pnblio t int jirivalo bnililins nro lijjbtc.l by 'rjrinitr, Tho pioiit (bury works o! ' "', ,t r.ro worliol by oloctricity. ' o"i?h ho'n-liobler r'T' '' ' year. . '' c aiinounceroenj thnt 1). L. ; : ,,(:iy bus bail Ji0,000 !oft him by llio will of J.N. Harris, New Lod ton (Conn.) Bank Trosident, to nso as ho thjnki bciit, blinds' up tho not ;: nurallr known faot that for twonty ' .c V' :ira or more this revivalist has ;r birc;o Bums f3;iven and loft :i;g into the iuillioos, to ' .i'.h o u I o.lnoBtional i iii b wo be-on Riven '. .' even ia foreign r.i realize what is moact by i ,iit Uutaia'e exii)rtn of ceTeals i i -J lirtt tw6-thinli)of 18'JS aro '.',000 bushels lens than for tho v time lat season? uska tho Aracri. ; Ai rioulturist. This eopply must iu from other countries, bnt this .vjn what Nation has an extra enr i lud for export except the Unitei 't.'s t There is no getting away .ruin th oljl law of eupply aud ile- . . I, liowevsr much it uifiy bo iiiilu-i-r interfered witb. -. r: t.t, Coratai -uicnrr , ,a i-burij of tho cirvonth . , h-is tiijt.to tho Seijrjfjry o! luu lnt;rkr a speoiul roport on tha statistics of oecupatioug. It showA for the first time in comas work tho number of oobred persons engaged in raeh ooonpation separate and distinct from the native and foreign white ele ments of the population, and other hitherto nncumpiled figures. The i".! cresting fenturo of the report : i the Question of the ouom ..'nr el itn relative to the -1 .-ra o.-'oted at tha nr-uti . 1 .), but uio Cut co.ii sa that this is tho fir-t t;? i-s iue Federal cuusuh that informatioa of this charseter has been presentrd iu oonneotiou with the statistics of oeou v pationa, derived from snswoA made in the population schedule. These figures simply show the aggregate in! mber of persons nuetnployed for r"!t lengths of tim8,i' J to a, very !-il.jo extent, probably at dif-rt-nt times during the census year. w:i re were 22,71)3,001 persons ten j-cHfs of age and ovor engaged in gain ful occupations in lS'JO, of whom 13, 821, 090 were males and 3,911,571 fe males. Of these, 8,013,117 males and 51 0.C13 females, or a total of 8,523,. 730 persons, were unemployed at their principal occupations during some part of the census yearemliug May lil, 1830. Of the whole number of pcrfons so unemployed, 1,818,863 .to unemployed from one to three 'tbs; 1,308,418 from four to six ' s, nud o30,417 from seven to months. This is .equivalent, t... : -:,'itfly, to 1,139,67a per.sous ULitni;ii.yi-. l ut their priuoipul occupa tion for the eutii-3 twelve months, nud this nuiober would ropreseut 5.01 per cent, of the total number of percent engaged iu gr.iuful ocenpations iu 1SD0. DiviJed as to sjx, tho approx injata cumber of males unemployed lit their principal ooonpation for tho en tire ctiiiius yeiir win 07J.OU0, repre-bi-iiling-5.1G per cent, of tho whjle liuin' ei- of males tit wtrk, while tho approximate uumbor t.f feuviiei un employed at their priuoipul occupa tion during tho Mime ( riol was 107, C72, repretrntiug l.-S percent, of I'.o whole uunber of females at work. " I !1 ; !',' ,-s... - - I ij -. '. V " ' ' 1 1 I -nil I it ' II l ! i ! Mill U'fCi.li T i n." i V i.ea tli-i hiMrt .. :. : : ! l'- as- . ;,-,.,!, 'hiln tli-ui, !i;v", ii-'i ii- nr. Riui !o nuul II.- ni'-i:i-- iirin-j; Thought nn'ols thom.-!it M fui"-y r?ln;3j W-ir:Is vitn nn u- !".- thin, Vlie-i tho tiiirt ppiiltFi, dour. -Arthur J. Ji n .11 -It. In, ivt'r.n's MiiRiizIne. SILVAIN'SSEOBET.- nv ukwx a. rnNK. ONS1EUR 6TL- vniu, who was u bachelor, oo onpiod roomK in the Kite Vivl cnne.on the sec ond floor, and below him was bis . neighbor, Mine. Everard, tho widow of a Colonel. Tho lady's rooms wcro generally ailcnt, bnt one day M. Hilvain, as he mounted the stairs, heard the voice of n lino soprano Hinging "La Norman die." Tho gentleman rnngat the door of the otngo. His ouriosily wns awakenod. Mine. Everard received him. "1 fancy that the nnnsnal ban not escape! your notice," s iid the lady. "Tho siugor is tho daughter of nu old friend of mine. Then thero wa an introduction, nnd M. iSiivnin paid bis rcipcols to a benutifnl young woman. .Mu himo rnv "Sh i a very advon turous and independent young lady, 7-1. riilvuiu. AYiien her 1'iitiitT died three years ago, leaving In r to face tha world a'.oue, shu a ioptedmueio as her ptotonion, uud, not being appre ciated in her uutive place, llouen, cacao np to Puris " "And shu will be famous dome day," remarked M. Hilvniii, "nud m lybe she will find a surer road to Lnppincss through marriage." ."if you consider mnt-r:a;rn eqnival tut to bapiiim-'M, !. f.iivaiu, purdon iue for iifiung hw ;t i ) you avo. still a bachelor." Ma-dwtiuv-nc, I mi.si plead that it is not iny fa..;!: imt my misfortune. Uonslaiitly occupied iu my ahem I ofiicla! dutieii, 1 have h'ld no loisnro to think of matrimony, but I Lope " "Vour ollioial duties?" the widow interrupted quickly. "Then you have a post nndor Government, M. bil vaiu?" . s ' "I hm have ooonpied my present position for a uumbcr of years, Ma dame. Do not let my presence, pre vent you from finiiihiug that charming Booff, Mademoiselle." "1 see that yon admire my young friend," said Madame, whou the two were chatting aside. ".She is adorable! suoh a union of raee, beauty, na 1 sweetness I have never seen.'1 "You rcu t bo a very acnto observer to discover her nngelio qualities after being only Ave minutes in her com pauy, llut perhaps you have beard somutUiug of bi:r hLtory -though. I don't know w'uj c.-iu huve told you." He shook bin bead with a smilo. "itunco ia tha ;:-. lobtcr cf IV'.ymoad Jfuviiiers iiouen. "1 h.ivo heard cl him, Jfivlatne." "You have 'beard nothing lo bis credit, I fear," she. remarked, shak ing her houd significantly. "JIo be gau llio uilli uvtiy uuvuuli.iju, hut after squonueriug bis foiiuae, he re trieved his fortune by a rich mari-iago, though, of course, he foou rau through half bis wile's money. Aiter ber father's death, ltoueo fouud among papers a memorandum concerning a certain M. Mathiou, nn ex-Janoiug muster of Paris, whom the Captaiu had swindled. D'uvilliers had man uiji.d to keep uu tho tufo tide of the CO'lO, 'tei(, lino Huiiiiued, "you may tbiiiU how iiiiooki.-U bis daughter ivms l.y ti. 4i ,:..'.ovt:ry, tjha never rented till, by im-uu-i ot a Ivcrtisoiucnts iu l'arisiuu pap.-rs, the hi 1 iti-.covered her father's victim uud sun. lo restitu tion, bho ut our.e rotuudi:d the great er part of the money, and uudertook to pay the root iu auuuU itintiUlracnts out of the pittance t-ho had left her self, which she proposed to increuso by teuching." M. tiilvain coughed, and changed Imposition abruptly. "And this pur son Mathieu how could be accept the reparation, knowing that she had reduced herself to poverty iu order to" "He did not know it, Tho money was refunded through r her lawyer, Maitre Heluuuay, of Kouec, in her father's came.. Delaunay was her agont in the mutter solely against his will, a it deprived bis sou of a fdrtnuo for Xteuee was engaged to be married to Maurioo Delaunay, whom she bud known from chirdhood, but whou she iusistod cu beggaring her self, the notary and bis wife peremp torily broko oil" the matoh. " lUr companiou shut bis snuffbox with an i'udjguuiit-euap. "You must have a poor opinion of my tex, Muduiuo, it you thiuk that beauty and goodness such aibers " "Kh, my (;ood Bir, you are sadly behind tho times! i'ut, hu.fh," she broko iu, "iteuee is comiug back." "It is btrituge," said Uenoe, slowly ; "your fuco teums familiar to mo. 1 can't thiuk of whoiu it is you remind Hli'." M. Silvaiu pieicnUy took bis leave. When tha little genttemuu ha I bowed himself out, Mme. Lvorard turned tc her eoioi. anion an 1 demuuiluLl ab ruptly: "Sell, whit do you think of my neighbor? "I ti itik lie is 'charming, charm in;;,' " h!io replied, wah u drull imita tion of l.i-i wiiuiter." 'la fact, Heiiuc; you Luvo made a I: corioucBt. lie cau t lio much over II fly. It is the prime of life for a man. Hois rich, good natured, and good rannnerod ; occupying, it -appears, a reponible post under tho (lovern nicnt let mo toll vu, Itnnee, that fcuch a match is not to he despised by a girl in your position." "i'erbaps not," eho continued mildly ; "but as I happen to be already engaged to Maurico Dclaunny " "Hid you not tell mo that the en gagement bad been broken off by bis people three years ago?" "Yes but not by himself. He would have married me in dcllanco of them, but I told bira that I would not be bis wifo till till I bad fulfilled my task and cleared my father's came of iue stain of dishonor." "And you think ho will wnit for yon?" her friend quvtimicd, with a cynically eompaFsionnte smile. She answered softly, "1 am sure of his fidelity. 'Work, wait, anil trust,' that is aiy motto." As sbo orossod tho Tout Xertf next day Beneo paused for a moment to drop a contribution into tho leathern wallet of nn old, wooden logged fid dlor, familiarly known to Parisians by the jjoubriqnet of Pore Joveux. For moro yeari than any ono cared to count he bad haunted the same shel tered corner near the end of the bridge. Coius of any sort wcro not very plen tiful with Bcnoo. . "My little lady, yon have given mo a silver piece; did you know?" "Yes, I have no coppers. Is it not a good one?" she nskd. "Quite good, and a now ono, too! I shall keep it for luck," be replied, and be broke into the tune of "Mon sieur ot Madame Denis." Lenee fouud herself humming the refrain of the foolish old song its she went her way. Her beurt thrilled with tho longing to see Maurico again ; to bear once more the dear, familiar voice which to ber was tho swectost nyisio the world could give. "Kenee!" Shu paused with a Blur t. at the speak er. It was Manrioo bimso'f. "Bonce, don't you know me?" he questioned. ' "Ob, Manriee, is it really you?" was all she conld find to any. "I bad no idea you were in Paris." "Nor has anyone else," bo replied. "And how has the world been using you, sweetheart, since wo parted a year ago?" ho went on. "Fairly well, though, to' toll tho truth, I ilnd the road to success steep er than I expeoted." "Why will you not give me the right to help you, Keneo?" "I huve put. my baud to the plow and I must not look back," she re joined, with a serious smile. "Is it no hardship that yon should be wearing out your youth iu toil and poverty to atone for your father's fault?" . Then the sonud ot a church clook striking the hour made Benee start. . "Twelve o'clock ! You have begnilod me into forgetting all my pupils, shu exolaimod. "I must go now." "I intend to spend New " Year's Day with you," said Maurice. "Till then, good-bye, sweet love. I leave my Heart in your keeping. "As mine is m yours, she whis- pored as they parted. It was tha last day of the old year. For the first time on rooord M. Bilvain so far departed from his usual habits as not to leave home till afternoon. "And he was dressed like a Prince, Madame I a brand now overcoat with a fur collar, and a bat you could see yoursolf in. I was to give bis compli ments and say that bo would have the honor of waiting upon you ut 1 o'clock, when ho hoped to rind Mllo. Benee also at home, 6aid Murthe, Muio. Everard'u maid. Moauwhilo, her fellow lodger, walk ing with bis most juvenile step, crossed the river, along the Boulevard to tho Palace Boyal, where he entered florist s shop and purchased, at a fancy price, a superb bouquet of hot houe robos. After a stroll through tho brilliant ly lighted arcades of the Palais, be turned toward home, which ho readied shortly before 4 o'clock. "ihis ladies aro in the salon, Mar ine told him; "thero is a visitor with them, a friend of Mademoiselle, who has just arrived. V ery good, he answered absently. The oid bachelor's cheeks were Hushed, and bis hoart beat fast as ho approached the door of the sitting room. It was partly open, aud as be paused, furtively adjusting his collar and cravat, he heard a sound of laugh ter within Beuee's musical voice mingling with tho deeper tones of a mnu. On the hearth, opposite to him, stood Bonee, Hushed and radiant, locking up into tho handsome, bronzed face of a tall, dark eyed young fellow of throe or four aud twenty, who bad imprisoned both her hands iu his own, whilo his other ari, from which sue was laughingly en deavoring to disengage herself, encir olod her wuist. " "Let me go, sir; don't you see that Mme. Everard looks quite scandul ized?" the exclaimed, glancing at Miuo. Everanl, whoso liteo expressed the most un-jiiulilio l disapproval. "It is at you, then, not at me I" be declared. "Mudamo is naturally as tonished that you i-hould object to be respectfully tuluted by your fiance so!" tin' I suiting tho autwu to tUo word, he be lit aud kissed bir. M. yilvuin ideated as if ho bad been struck, and hmtily drawing buck,. be fore uny one bud perceived his pres ence, turned from tho door. "Muko inv compliment to the ludies, and siy lh:tas they huvo a visitor I will not mini iu this even ing," ho stiidj'tiud walked away. tiafelv locked in bis ov, u rooms, be stood fr a itio.ncat looking v ,;iu ly round, like ouo i.tLiug from a dream, then, bccoiuitio' cunaoiuus of tho roses in his band, bo flung thorn from him with a passionate ejaculation, and sitting down nt the table, let his head fa. I on his folded arms and cried like ti child. Then thero came ft gentle knock at bis door, and ho opened it. "I am come to scold you, M. Btlvnin," said Benee, with her swoet smile. "Murlho tells us that you re fused to como in because we bail a visitor, riurely you did not think you would bo intrnding? M. Delaunay wishes to bo introduced to you. I ought to toll you," she added shyly, "that we that wo aro engaged, though titr engagement has not tho sanction of bis family, and you are not ill, M. Silvain?" ' He shook bis bead, smiling con strainedly. "No, not ill, only a little low npirited." "I nra very sorry," she said, gently. "Wo bavo nil our troubles you hove yours also, my child, bavo you not? but you are young, and in youth, 'though sorrow may endure for a night, joy cometh with the morn ing.'" "My 'morning' seems still far oil," she answered, with a smile and a sigh. . "Thanks for your sympathy, my sweet friend. Good uiht." "Until to-morrow," she criel. He watched her out of sight, then stood for a moment on the landing, looking down, deep in thought. When he raised his face it had recovered its usual serenity, and wore a look f resolution which gave it a now dig nity. Yes," ho muttered, "l will do it; she shall bo happy. And as for me well, I shall be no worse oil than I was formerly. Daylight was waning when at last Beneo and M'irieo turned their faces homeward. Half way across tho Pont Nenf, Beneo. paused with a regretful exclamation : "I quite forgot Pere Joyeux !" "Who is bo?" ber oompanion de manded. "An old pensioner of mine ; a crip- plod liddler who always play J on the bridge. There he is, on tho other sido. Let us cross over." "Never mind now, Benee ; it is get tine dark, nud beginning to snow ngaiii. Give him something to-morrow." . "But this is New Year's Day, and it seems unkind to neglect him when I am so happy. Look, be has seen me ho ia looking so wistfully ! Btay hero, I shall not be a moment." The road was slippery with fresh fuUcn snow, nnd when half way across the girl's foot slipped. She made a vain effort to recover herself, and fell just in the track of a heavy vehicle which came thundering along, drawn bv two powerful borses. Tho driver. on bis high perch, did not percoive what had happened till the bystanders uttered a warning shout, which was echoed by a cry of alarm from Mau rice, as he hurried to hor assistance. Pere Joyeux, who had beou watch ing her movements, flung his violin aside, and beforo Maurioe could reach the spot, he bad tnatehed her Morally from under tho horses' hoofs. "Whnt an escape 1" Maurice gasped." "Are you hurt, Benee? "No, no ; bat whore is Pere Joyeux who has saved my life?" she asked, anxiously looking nronnd. Then Benee saw the figuro of her old friend stretched insensible upon the asphalt. The next inuaient a policeman ap proached, and after a few brief in quiries, which Maurice answered, per emptorily dispersed the lookers-on, and hailed a passing carriago, giving tho order: "To the Hotel Dieu." "Is he seriously hurt?" asked Benee, when she went to the hospital. "He is dying," was tho grave reply. "You are surprised at thechaugem hia appearance?" tho surgeon re marked in uu undertone; "he bad been wearing a false beard, and with out it ho looks quite a ditferont man. It is possible that he " "Js she there?" the patient asked, faintly. ' "I urn M. Bilvain to you," ho said when they were alone; "but your father know mo as Bilvain Mathieu." "What! it was you whom my father wronged?" she faltered. "Deur child, you have repaired the wrong aud lolt mo your dubtor," ho goutly replied, "l'ou know what was formerly my profession? I was a dauoiug master;! mut with an acci dent and became a cripple. I hud little money. 1 lost it in a specula tion. I; hud the natural instincts of the vagabond. I became tho street musician. I am the l ero Joyeux. Do not look distressed. It was a lifo just suited to me. I could be a gentlonian at times as M.W-iilvaiu., I had not as nmuy friends as Bilvain as I had as le Pere Joyeux. 1 loved you as a daugh ter when -you first put money in my bund. But thero is more thau that." Beneo kn-sed tho hurt man. He continued : "i'he false beard and the wooden leg made all the difference to some but not tj you. Yes, kiss me again," aud with tho- ghost of his former pulluut manner ho raised Bonce's baud to Lis lips. Benee wus sobbing. "Hu-di," he interrupted gently; "what better fortune cau I have than to iave your life and Keoure your hap-pinci-s? Benee, you will find a parcel iu my desk, directed tj yourcelf. 1 restore your sift, dear us 1 meant to have dona U I lull lived. There is no obstacle now between you and your lovr. God bles you both. How dark it grows and cold! Do not bo sorry for me, dear I au quito con tent;" be continued, wila u tranquil smile. "Ouitd content," 1:3 repeated ; and with the suiilj ou bis lips ho died. fn l!i a'l:ruoJU ol ttieir wedding day, lie lore btnrliug on tucir journey into Normaud v, U..-ucj nnd M.uuk.u j crossed the Point Ncuf ouoo mori, to I ay c l.i-t visit tj i'tto Joyeux's id J bauut. "I nm elal no ono has taken bir place," Benee said so:tly, alter a mo-. mout; "it would seem almost like ties ecration. I fancy I can still bear the sound of bis violir I" Maurice looked down at her tender- 'J- .'. . "Yen," she concluded, witn a nappy smilo: " '.Sorrow endured for a nicrht, but joy has come with the morning?' " Now lork limes. WISE YVOllbS. We r.ro apt to bo most attracted by thoso characters in liction which as neighbors we would hardly dare asso ciate with. Amateur theatrical performances will never be popular so loug as perform ers insist upon having audiences at tend them. It is a good deal easier to go without dinner when you bavn the money in your pocket to pay for it than whe i yon haven't. Thero aro lot1) of people even now, who would not objeot to the burning of witchos if they were allowod to se lect tho witches. A man always shuffle around and looks nueomfortablo when hi? wife talks about things that happened on their honeymoon. The needle is true to the pole; but that is only natural. That which ha? cover been reached is always opt to be an object of desire. Very often when wo think we are impressing people with our smart ness, we are only making a reputation for being disagroeable. Some smiles are like the rud diness of oertain apples, which fs ow ing to a centipede or other creeping thing, coiled up at the heart of them. Altar all a man's household goods have been carted around the streets on a moving van he feels as though the neighbors had taken an unfair advan tage of him. The woman who fusses and scolds and slaps the children for an hour before Bunday-school time is often the same ono who sits in the parlor all the evening with blinds up and plays hymns on the molodoon. Tho South West, . The Ciilor or Brand. "Some housekeepers are as much in terested iu the color of their bread as they are in the other qualities of the flour used by them," observed nn ex tensive baker, "and are consequently anxious to know the exact color tho bread will be when made from the flour they buy. My experience is that the color that flour will give to bread oan best bo ascertained by placing a flattened ball of dough made therefrom on a piece of colorless window glass and allowing it to stand twenty-four hours. By then looking at the bottom of the ball of dough through the glass on which it rests, the exact color will be Been. This is the test given by the Commissary Department ot the army to ollioers whose duties nro to bny flour which is to bo used by the army. It is perfect iu its character, and is so simple that he or she who runs can read it. Personally, I do not care much about the color of bread, but meny do, and these aesthetio tastes have to bo gratified. Whou flour makes 'pretty bread' it always does so at the expense of other thiugs, nnd many of the best qualities of the wheat are taken from it, of the thiugs that make bone and muscle, so that 'pretty bread' is not exactly the best for food alter oil." Washington Star. Primitive MclbuJs of -Willing. The early methods of coiniug money w,ere exoeeding imperfect. The metal, having been brought to tho required standard of firmnets, was melted and cist into small bars, which was re duced into thin plates under the ham mer. Square pieces cut from these plates were rounded at the forge and then by means of rude dies one fixed like an anvil to a block and tho other held in the hand aud Btruck with a mallet like a punch the round lump of metal was llattoned and coined ut the same time. The dilliculty ot thus placing the two dies exactly opposite suggested occasional improvements; but it was not till about the sixteenth century tuut the forgo and hammer gave place in France uud England to the mill and Borew, a method by which the burs were reduced to thoir proper thickness by rolling and the piecos were coined by the pressure of a sorow. In tho British mint screw presses impelled by steam - are still useil, whilo In the United States, m France and in some other countries the levor presses have been substitut ed. Detroit Free Frosa. Tlio Management of Sunken Vessels. A now invention for liudiug the lo cation of sunken vessels is about to be adopted by soma of tho steamship lines. It consist of a buoy attached to a long rope, which is placed loosely in a suitable recspt tele ou tlm vessel's deck. If tho ship siuks, tho buoy floats upou thii Biirfuoj, aud tho ropo gradually uucoils as the cage contain ing it descends. The theory is a very good ouo, but the possibility of en tangling the ropa iu the rigging of the vessel uu 1 dragiu ? tho buoy dowu with it is suggojto I by tho fact that whou a ship goes dowu there mut bo a tremendous swirl uud swashing about of water, sulllcient, ut leust, to make the usefuluess of a buoy and any ordinary rope attached to it very tliai indeed. . Ailveiilim-'i (if n Booster. Cbiltwood, O.o'oj, has a roast ci which camo turn on llio pilot of ti ruilro-rd cugino, ..I siu.-o Ins arrival bus behaved pivpii'ly, but before his advent thero had undo two prolonged htopi iu his prepress along tlio lino of tho railruad au I l,a I niuwiluu llock of shiep an .1 then with a herd of cuttle. York Buii. THE MERRY SIDEUF LIFE, STORIES THAT AR13 TOLD BT THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Love's Sacrifice On With the New His Kxplanatlon An iuenlous Youth Accommodating, Ktc. lie sqiiuniloreil tlO for mi s. you pen Her j"V In the irt was Immense; But littieshe dreamed that bis dinner would be Throe buckwheats that cost him ten cents. Chicago liecord. accoMMOPinva. Tenant "If yon don't have thit roof jpatchod we will be drowned out." Landlord "I'll sent you down half a dozen lifo preservers. Anything else?" Detroit Free Press. HIS Kxr-LANATIO. "He made duoVs and drakes of his money." . "Yes? And thoso promissory notes of his?" "Decoys!" Chicago Eecord. AS ISOENIOCB YOUTH. Freddie "What do you want to catch the fly for?" Little Johnnie "Sister Jibs just made herself a Klaus of lemonade, nnd I'm awful dry." Pittsburg Bulletin. ON WITH THB NEW. She "I was madly in lovo v. ith you in those old days." Ho "And Lava you fully recov ered?" She "Oh, yes; I have a bioyclo now." Truth. FACTS IN TUB CASH. "It is said we shall all pass away as a talo that is told." "That sounds nil right; but tales that are told don't pass away thoy are forever being told 0V6r again." Chicago Becord. MFTHOD IN HIS MADNESS. "Yesterday I heard you denouncing baby carrying on bicycles as murder, and to-day you were urging Newpop to carry bis. How odd !" "Not at all. That kid has a drum nnd lives iu the next flat." New York Journal. WHAT CAUSED II KB WOE. "I am exprevsihly sorry, Mr. Smith crs," she said, "to learu that whon you oallo 1 the other d iv Tiger bit you." "Oh, that's all riRbt," ho said, with a foroed effort to be cheerful. "No, it isn't," she eobbol, "the dear little fellow has bpen ill ever since." Chicago Times-Herald. A CIiIKO'TOm?. ne "As our engapi merit is can celled, of coime you will reiurn thut diamond ring?" Bho "Mr. Styles, on mid I was a peach tho day when you e,uve me this ring. Well, if I am, I am a peach of the clingstone variety. Therefore, I'll keep tho diamond." Boston Transcript. ON THE WI!I)DtNJ TliU'. "Yon can't both rido on a single ticket," said the conductor sharply. "O, I guess wo kiu," answered Josh, with porl'eot court leuoo, as bo threw his arm around his bluhiug com panion. "If you'll look at this heie , iockameut yon'il see tint inn and 1 Marthy s jest beou mado one. De troit Frco Press. TKOrilliE AHEAD. - Johnny "Ma, do you boKevo ia ghosts?" Ma "No." Johnny "Pa does." Ma "What makes yo:i tbi'ilc ho?'' Johnny "V mau ast pa to meet him down town to night, nud pa aid he would if he oould get away from the old spook." Cleveland Lea lar. 80METH1XQ LICKACLB, "Henry!" "Yes, your excellency?" "The Cubans bavo issued a ret of postage stamps. You may hive uotioed something about it iu the publio prints." "I have, sir." "I suppose Weyler is glad those stamps have been issued." "May I inquiro why, your excel lenoy ?" , "Woll, he oan lick them, you know?" Pittsburg Chronicle. KAMI'S EXHAUSTED. Wheeler "Everybody says that Blackmore has invented tho best bi cycle yet known. But bo can't put it on the market. Grinder "Can't? Why? Unable to flud capital?" Wheeler "On, no. He oould get it ten times over uny day." Grinder "Can't get a patent?" Wheeler "Putent already secured. " Grinder "Thou what is the mat ter?" Wheeler "Nothing to call it. All tho names are used up." -Tit-Bits. TUB UATTLK Ol' TBB rUlXETINS. There wus a tremulous note in Colo nel l.ezio del Klobbio's voice. "Your fcxei lleuoy," euid ho, "I fear mo that the jig i up." "Whut," roared Cuplain-Gonoral Vuylor, bis nose turning white with anger, "th u'.:. thou I care for aught thut thoi.0 nioU'ir.'l Bolivians may do; or thut beeuus.i u few liilibusterers from the Unite 1 .-dates have joined the insurgents my heart sinks'.' Well, I (pies nit ! .etory sk ill yet be ours 1" "lleueruli s-iiiio," auswerel Del Blobbiu, ba l.y, "it is vi lout you have not been ii'iin ise I of tho l itet mis fortune wi i "h r. n Ins eutr cause al most hoped'- is?" ".Speak," the b ad butch r of all lh BpAulf-r.ls oriel. "All out- wri.iug material "was turned hA nijht." ChioutfOf News. COSTLY, The other nl:;ht I (at me down TJnto a' meal of love. First two sweet looks from eyes quite brown Placed ma in heaveu above. Then came a course of dulcet tones; Two hand olnsps on thi side. Pome nlln direct from torrid sonos Borne on a levered tide. & eood Mg hag done to a turn These dainties followed after, Anil then to make our spirits burn, The wine of rapturous laughter. Tho sweetest dishes should come last, Tans epicures nssert; tfe had, to crown this rloh repist Some kisses for dessert. Out, Oh, the price I paid for this The denrest meal to me', t was Indeed expensive bliss It took my liberty. Tom Mason, In Detroit Froo Press. IIO-UOR OF THE DAY. Wiley "Tell me something good for a joke." Driley "Point." Bo ton Traveler. You can make lots of boa Iway some times by admitting yoa arj wrong when you are not. Life. "What is meant by saying that a man is convalescing?" "That he has outwitted his dootor." Truth: Lady (admiring gifts at wedding) "Ah ! these are the souvenir spoons. V Maid (indignantly) "No, indeed, mum I They're solid silver." Judge. . Yabsley "The truest test of a man's friendship is his willingness to lend you money." Mudge "Oh, 'most anybody will lend money. The real test is when you strike him for a sec ond loan." Indianapolis Journal. "Mamma," said little Mary, "what does amen mean?" "It means that yon join in with what has been said, dearie; that you approve of and be lieve it." "Oh, yes, I know," said the little girl. "It's the opposite of nit I" Harper's Bazar. Minister "You said you. knew that I was coming, my little man? Now, how did you know?" Tommie " 'Cause ma told me if I ast for mora than one piece of cake at the table iho'd pound the blame liver out of ma to-night." Cleveland Leader. More Boom: Yonng Mrs. Fitts "The Trolleybys have such a jewel o hired girl. Their lljor is uctually slean enough to eat oil." Young Mr. Fitt "By George, that ought to Da right handy when he has to carve a duck." Iudianapolis Journal. A friend called on a worthy divine, who had been offered a bishopric The daughter of the house met him at the door. "Is your father going to accept it?" he inquired. "Well," tha young lady replied demurely, "father is praying for guidance in tho library. Mother is packing upstairs." Tit Bits. "I don't think that Penncr is a sin sere writer," remarked one young mm. "You think be doesn't m.nn what he says?" "Yes." "Well, I know better thau that. I saw some thing that he wrote the other day, and I'm snro he meant every word of it. ft was a request for a loan or 85." Washington Star. "I shall hue to gie it up," remorse fully ejaoulated the Scotch minister, when, having buried hiB bail in a bunker, he momentarily abandoned bimsolf to language whioh would have be-.;n deome 1 inoorreot by the General Asse'mbly. "What! gie np goffl" cried the oaddie, who oould hardly bi-iieve his cars. "Na ! na 1" rejoineu t in other. "I mean the meeuisWyJ-. l usehold Words. Arctic Owls iu tho Northwest. , P pers all over the Northwest aro n . icing the arrival of nrotto or snowy oa Is, whioh Maxe mentioned in the Oregonian a week ago. Thoy have been seen at many places alt the way from the boundury line to the Cali fornia lino, and taxidermists are being kopt busy mounting specimens of this visitor from tti9 arctic regions. Ona paper Buys: "This owl travels south- .-" ward with the ducks, the oompanion it is generally found with." Owls' aiid "w' ducks do not travel together unless the duck is inside the owl. The duoka come down from the North every win ter, but the snowy owl does cot mi grate unless the winter north is un usually severe and bis foo t sripply is shut otT, The last time these bird were seen here in uutnbers was in tho . hard winter of 1881-2. Portland Ore gouiau. Peculiarities of Viper's Blood. The opinion has prevailed among scientists that the viper which resists inoculations of its own veuooi was ex empt because it was accustomed to the -poisou. They bavo found that tha 1 blood oontaina the same poisonous qualities as the venom itself, and from this drew tho couolusiou. But it has been discovered that in addition to tha poisou the blood contains another substance that neutralizes the toxio -principle. To ascertain the etl'eats of heat upou the poisou, a portion of viper's blood was heated to 5S8 C, uud maintained at this temperature for a quarter of au hour. Guinea pigs inoculated with this blood not only did not die but were proof against in oculation of fresh blood, which would, if at tirst employed, cause instant death. "fliigHiiniii'' Ueilue I, "Mugwump" has beeu ollimully de fined and classified by a Pennsylvania court. Au editor ea led a mau a "mugwump," and the man took of fence and u id the e litor arretted. Tha matter i-amo beforo J.ioe Douahue, of Wilke- b.irre. in his charge tlio j , JuJy.e said that "mu;;wump" meant "a rei peetab'o BepuLdicnn inclined to kick over the tr ices." Tho editor fta discharged. Buvuuuuli New. 3-- 1 i 1 J ) '1 i 'V. '-
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers