THE FOREST EEFDBLICAN li pnbllnhed every Wednesday, by J. E. WENK. OlBoe In Smoarbaugh & Co.'a Building ELM STREET, TIONKSTA, T. Term. ... fi.tso per Year. ii,!!",.'i?h"cr,ptln.n rceelvel 'or a shorter period tnnn three months. r Correspondence .ollclted from all parti of Ihe The London Txtncit, a prominent Eng lish medicnl journal, awaits with some what languid interest the result of the discussion of the new scientific proposi tion thnt it is just as well to bolt one's food as not. It advises pcopls who are desirous of avoiding dyspepsia in its worst forms to continue in the meantime to chew their food in the old-fashioned way. It is not generally known that resi dent Lincoln was an inventor, but the first insta lment of the Lincoln 1 ifo, in the Century, contains reduced fac similes of tho drawings in the Pulont-OI'.lcc, on which was obtained a ptttcnt for "A. Lincoln's improved manner of buoying vessels." A drawing is also given from the model of tho invention. The patent is dated the 22d of May, 1840. . An expert Pittsburg chemist has dis covered that ii cigar contains acetic, formic, butyric, valeric, proprionic, prus sic nnd carbolic acids; also, creosote, am monia, viridine, picolino and sulph'irctod hydrogen. As there is no report as to tobacco it is left to be inferred that the .-' chemist found nono: But, then, it is not every day that one can buy a drug store outGt, except tho bottles, for five cents. In 1883 tho navy of Great Britain con sisted of 240 vessels; th: German navy consisted of 07 vessels; tho French had CO vessels; Russia in 1881 hud a navy of C89 inoti-of-war, and in 1885 the navy of the United States comprised eighty seven vessels as follows: Forty-one naval fteim vessels, of which but four are not screw propellers; 12 wooden sailing ves sels, li) ironclad vessels, 2 torpedo rams and 13 tugs. Church-goers in many Maine towns fifty years or more ago, both male and fomale, used to walk barefoot to church, 1 carrying with them their shoes and Block ings which they would put on before going into church. The Lewiston (Me.) Journal remarks: "A stern economy was observed by the men and women who laid tho foundation of Maine's prosper ity. That is why we are not obliged to go barefoot now." A calf was killed and tho hide taken off in Zionsville, Penn., in the morning. The skin was taken to Charles Burkhal ters's tannery nt noon. By evening of the same day Mr. Burkhalter had it all tanned and promptly handed to a shoe maker. By next morning a pair of boots was completed and put on by the owner, so that what was on living flesh of a calf one day was a pair of boots the next. It was, without doubt the quickest tanning on record. Mr. B. is able to tan any sheep skin in fifteen minutes, leaving the wool all on. This is his own invention, and ho says thero is no other man living that knows how to do it. Few persons have an idea of the enor mous consumption of twine, in this coun try. One of the greatest demand t for Ihe article comes from tho fanners, who consume thirty-five thousand tons an nually upon tho self-binding harvesters. Allowing five pounds to tho mile, this would be equal to a string long enough to go more than six times around tho ta: th. It takes a length of about three f..,,( ,.r : i..,,n i Tho farmer sits on his machine, drives nlono through tho grain field, and with out uny assistance cuts, bundles, and ties twclvo acres of wheat grain per day.. The twiue must be carefully made, f rco from swells or not, or it will not run smoothly through the knotting device of the binder. The average consumption of twine on a binder harvester is two piunds per acre. About twclvo hun dred feet of twine per acre are required. . It costs the farmer about twenty-five cents an acre for his twine. , There is a new gem in the market, the violane du cap, manufactured in Paris. It seems rather odd that a gem should be manufactured, though imitations arc familiar enough, and though modern al chemists have experimented from time to time with carb n and other materials in the hope' of making diamonds; but this, albeit an artificial product, is not an imitation. It is unique. Possibly somewhere in the earth, the elements thnt compose it silica, aluminum, iron and certain other matters may exist in the same proportions and in crystallic form, in which case art will have been but a copyist; its natural counterpart, if it exists, has not been discovered, however. An Kastcrn Jeweler showed one the other day of perhaps sixteen car ats. It was clear and lustrous and of a deep purple color, stronger than the am ethyst, but in a room lighted only oue gas its hue was that of carbuncle, a deep and vivid red. In hardness it is seven in the scale that registers the sapphire at nine and the diamond at' ten. Its dis covery may lea 1 to other experiments in chemical combinations and the develop meat of other gems of equal beauty. mm VOL. III. NO, 34. DOWNHEARTED, j Downhearted? Pshaw I there's seldom seen I A lane without a turning! j Kacb. desert has a spot of green, In spite of bright Bol's burnine. . Your friends have failed you? Well, what I thon? I Remember changing Peter: Sorrow has tried the best of men, And life is all the sweeter. What adds a rest to summer's joy? Is it not a winter weary? Peace would be tame without alloy, . t Past grief makes solace cheery. All cannot win though all must run When once life's race is started: Yet all may hear the words: "Well done," So never be downhearted. CLEM'S CURE, BY TAIL PKAYTON ' What's the matter! What's the mat ter, my boy? Sit down. Sit down and quiet yourself and then tell mo what's the mattery" That's tho way I talked to Clem short lor l-lcmcncc Alburtis as I took him by tho arm one day when ho rushed wild-eyed and thick speeched into my office,- and seated him on the lounge. "Doc," he said in a helpless tone my profession is that of a physician "I'm crazy. I can't collect my thoughts, mm iuo puin in my neaa arives me maa." ' 'I k now it. " I said. ' 'I've told you it wouiu oe so many times, lou nave a buzzing in tho ears, black specks floating ocjore me eyes, ana " "Yes! Yes! thnt's it. Nervous twitches of the muscles of the face and numbness of the limbs, and " "Depression of mind and melancholia," I went on. "A disposition to suicide,'? he almost shouted. "I feci it almost necessary to commit suicido. Doc, what'll I "do? How'll I stop it? Eht llow'U I keep from blowing out my brains i" "Nonsense!" I said, angrily. "Don't talk to me about brains. If you go on the way you're going now, you won't nave any uruins to blow out in a few days. You'll be in the lunatic asylum, as brainless as a born idiot." "I know it! 1 know it!" and Clem wrung his hands wildly, and endeavored to spring from the lounge, but I forced him back into his seat. "And so I am determined to put an end to my life at once. God bless you! Good by ! I can't endure this agony any longer!" And once more he made an effort to rise. "Sit still:" I thundered out, now al most angry myself, "or I'll send for a policeman and have you committed to the Charities and Corrections, to be ex amined as a lunatic. Now, do you really want to be cured of this nttack of tee zceweezces you've got?" "Yes," ho said, a little more calmly, finding he had a superior power to con tend with. "Very well, then, give up all book work. Lay aside pens, ink and paper, go into the country, fish, walk into the woods, feed the chickens, do anything, but don't read anything but trash for two months, and, above all, don't think of anything scientific until next winter without my permission " "But what's to become of my paper on 'The Origin of tho Megatherium?' I'm to read it before the Fe Fi Fo Fum So ciety on the 15th of next month, you know, and it isn't half done yet." "Confound your Megatheriums!" I ex claimed, angrily. "If you want to barter your life, or what you have left of your senses, for a Megatherium, why take your Megatheriums and do it, but don't come bothering me about your symp toms. I tell you that you must have a complete mental and physical diversion, or you'll be a lunatic or a dead man in a month." "And drop my book on 'The Puerility of Prehistoric Power?' " said Glem, mournfully. ''Drop every book, written and un written, and write not a line but an oc cassional letter until I tell you that you may." Tho poor fellow buried his face in his hands, and sat the picture of despair, but I knew I was right. Clem had gradu ated from college with high honors, and gone to the bar with high hopes, when suddenly his mind had, somehew, be come diverted to science, in which, un fortunately, ho could afford to indulge, from the fact that he possessed a small but comfortable income, left him by his grandmother, so that law could be made only an ornamental part of his life. More than this, he was a remarkably handsome fellow,' and, outside of his scientific studies, possessed more than ordinary common sense. The fact was he had overdone the matter, and he was snllering accordingly, from insomnia and over brain-work. Kntire and complete cessation from study was his only hope. Just as I had told him this there came a gentle tap at my door, and to my sum mons of it "Come,", it opened, and two ladies entered one. Miss Martha -Megrims, an old maid of sixty five, my patient, with nothing at all the matter with her but the want of ex ercise and employment, and who would not wait for me to call on her, but hunted me down with her moans and troubles daily. Her companion was her niece Lillian, and "airy, fairy Lillian" she was. A more beautiful little creature I never saw, and never expect to see again, aud as good as she was pretty. Their coining just then embarrassed me exceedingly. I could not dismiss Miss Megrims, and I must bear with her usual haif hour of groans and gruuts.for which I was so well remunerated, aud at the same time I did not dare to let Clem go, fori knew he was in a dangerous condition of mind, and might carry out his threat. Introducing him and bring ing him into our conference was out .of TIONESTA, PA, WEDNESDAY. DECEMBER 15, 1886. tho question, and there, was but one way for it, which was to stuff him into my little back room, from whence there was no escape but by a skylight or tho door which led into tho office. This I turned on him to do when I saw that he had risen from tho lounge, and was standing as one entranced, gazing on Miss Lillian Brown with a most un mistakable look of admiration, which I fancied was returned shyly by the young lady. "Clem, you'll oblige me if you'll step into the next room for a few minutes," I said, "I'll soon be disengaged." "Certainly! certainly!" ho said, mov ing slowly across the office, bowing to the two ladies as he wont, butnot shut ting the door after him on his disappear ance, so that he could hear all that might be said. This was not much that could entertain or instruct him, consist ing only of the old woman's usual re counting of the maladies which she could not have possibly had if she had been poor and obliged to walk instead of ride, and the occasional musical tones of Li lian, answering my questions, orencour- aging her aunt. Over a quarter of an uour was passed in this way, which would have been longer had not Lillian, knowing that I had Clem in another room waiting for me, hurried Misi Megrims away. "Who is that. Doc?" said Clem, ea gerly, as he rushed back into the room as Foon as the office door had closed on the ladies. "That's the rich Miss Mcirrims." I said. 'She's got more money than she's cot time to spend it in. and so nluvs sick." "Oh, pshaw 1" he said petulantly,-"I uon b mean ine oia ono. 'Ah! that's her niece nnd supposablo heiress, Miss Lillian Brown ! " I replied. carelessly. "She's rather pretty! " "Uather pretty!" he almost shouted. By the rrreat ichtlivosaurus. sir. she's lovely; simply lovely. I never saw anv thing more beautiful in my entire exist ence. " "GneJr I- thouo-ht to mvself. "Hia brain has given way," and I took poor ciera Dy me nana anckjeit his pulse, "Oh, I'm 'all rigRtf Doc," he"f6aid, laughing, and then resuming his seat upon the lounge and becoming quite calm, nut really sue is very handsome, and I don't know that I've ever seen any one that has made such an impression on me. tan't you introduce me. doctor " Oh, you're too much mixed up with megatheriums ana Prehistoric Power to even talk sensibly to a lady, and Miss Brown is a very sensible and practical girl." "Oh! bother the megatheriums and prchistorics. I'm not thinking of them just now. I want an introduction to Miss Brown," said Clem, earnestly. "I'll cive it to you to-morrow." I an swered, "if you'll promise to do just what I tell you until thon." Certainly, I will." he exclaimed eagerly. " V ery well. I am to call on Miss Me grims to-morrow at ;i i m. Promise me that you won't open a back, touch a pen. or think of megatheriums or prchistorics until then, and that you will go to the theatre with me to-night, and I will take you with mo to-morrow." "Done!" he said, enthusiastically. "Then we'll go and take a walk in the Park," and I shook hands with Clem on the bargain, and we marched away for a smoke and a talk all about Lillian Brown. That night I took Clem to see uu ex ceedingly funny burlesque, and was grat ified at his appreciation of it in hearty bursts of laughter,and the following day he madu his appearance at the ollice faultlessly dressed, something I had not known him to bo since ho embraced science, and looking so much handsomer and better than the day before that it hardly seemed he w.is the same man. Of course I carried out my promise, and of course Miss Megrims looked surprised at my bringing Clem, but I dia not care for that, for nt the same time I saw Miss Lillian was gratified. For the first time within my memory Miss Megrims seemed to forget her ail ments, and devoted herself to Clem, who had corrallcdLillian on the opposite side of the room ana appeared to be making the best use possible of his time, which,! had warned hiin, could not be more than fif teen minutes. She eyed him with a look that amounted almost to a glare, and poured in broadside after broadside of qu'stious, about him that would have taken the skill of a diplo mat to answer, though, of courso I did it as favorably as I could for Clem, but I came out of the encounter strongly impressed with the idea that Miss Me grims did not want her niece to marry at all, or have gentlemen friends, and that she considcr.'d her too younir she was twenty to think of such a thing at all. When Clem got into tho street he was in raptures. Lillian was an angel; her beauty1 was almost beyond tho earth, and her voice music itself. He was in love, and Lillian had aked him to call again which, bv tho way, I had noticed was more than Miss Megrims did. Well, time 8ed on, and I saw plainly that Clem had dropped everything but Lillian. I saw him every day, and heard all about it. He had culled again and had been rebuffed by Miss Megrim. He had called several times more,, but Mis Megrims never left the room. Clem did not intend to be rebuffid. but Miss Me grims finally denied him the houso or an opportunity of seeing Lillian. Then I stepped in and carried a formal proposal to Miss Megrims, which I backed up with my best efforts, but received a for mal refusal. Miss Megrims did not in tend that her niece should marry for some years to come. My reply to this selfishness was my be coming letter bearer betweeu the lovers, and a few days afterward they met i i Central Park, although it must have been a hard job fur Lillian t have got ten the chance. From the meeting Clem rushed into the otliee, exclaiming: "It's all right, Doc. We're engaged. Lillie's going to try and soften the old- hippogrilT, and, if she can't, we'll get married anyhow and go abroad." Clem had carried tho wnr into Africa, and mennt to stay there all the time, he said. He had forgotten all about mega theriums nnd prchistorics. and had no more symptoms and tendencies to suicide. In fact he was completely cured, and, stranger still, Miss Megrims had becomo as robust as a prize-fighter, and not a word ever camo out of her mouth about pains or aches, though she would not give up daily calls, but al ways filled them up with denunciations of Clem and declarations that if Lillian married him, she should never touch a cent of her money. "Doctor," she said ono day, "I never knew a runaway marriage to turn out well in my life." "Oh! that's a mistake, Miss Megrims," I said. "I have known many, Mr. Al bcrtis's own parents were a runaway match. She was a great belle, a Miss Kllis Clark, and " "What!" screamed Miss Megrims," jumping to her feet. "His mother my Lllice, my darling Lllicc! It can't be! Why didn't you say sa boforo, doctor? Tho dearest girl friend I ever had in my life, and I'vo treated her son so badly. It's shameful in you, doctor. Go arid bring the dear fellow here directly." I did, and when he came she scriptur ally fell upon his neck and wept, and then they foil to talking about Clem's mother until Clem cried in concert. Well, they did not have a runaway, but did up the affair in stylo, and all went to Europe together, and the last letter I have from Clcin declares -the hippogrill to be one of the most charm ing old maids tho world ever produced. New York Star. Japanese. Marriages. A marriage in Japan is precoded by the ceremony of betrothal, at which all tho member of the two families are present. It often happens that tho par ties concerned then for the first time are informed of the intentions of their pa rents with regard to them. From this time the cotiplo are allowed to see each other on every opportunity. Visits, in vitations, presents, preparations for fur nishing their future home, and the be trothed are soon satisfied with their ap proaching future. The wedding gener ally takes place when the bridegroom is over twenty years old, and the bride in her seventeenth year or over. The morn ing of fhe appointed day the groom dresses, and the toilet articles of the bride are carried to the bridegroom's house and arranged in the room appoint ed for the ceremony. Among many dec orations the small table supports figures representing long life, such as the stork and turtle, supposed to live longer than any other creatures. In the evening a splendid procession enters the hall, headed by the young wife, clothed and veiled in white silk, escorted by two bridemaids and followed by a crowd of relatives and neighbors; also friends in full costume, all glittering with brocaded scarlet and embroidery. Tho two bridesmaids and two or three young girls who are friends of the bride volunteer for the service, perform the honors of the house, arrange tho guests, and flutter from one place to another to see that all arc made comfortable. Among the objects displayed in the middle of the circle of guests there is a deep saucer of soft ware made for the occasion. It has a metal vase which is furnished with two spouts and elegantly adorned with artificial flowers. At a fciven signal one of the bridesmaids fills the vase with "shako," a queer liquid poured into the saucer. The bride drinks one-half of the liquid and the bridegroom drinks the other half. After this everybody is invited to the dining room, where the "best man" sings the happy song and serves out the great dinner to all. With the exception of certain Buddhist sects and Christians, a priest or clergyman never takes part in the celebration. The person known as the "best man" acts as priest and per forms the marriage ceremony. The next day after the marriage follows a festival given by the police officer who has given permission lor the nuptials, lie then, Places tho newly-niameu couple on bis list. A Destroyer of an Orchard Test. Robert Williamson, of Sacramento, who owns a large fruit ranch near Penryn, in this county, has been introducing the two-spotted ladybug, or scale destroyer, in the orchards of his neighborhood. They are said to be a very thorough and efficient remedy for the San .lose scale. The scale lives on the tree and the lady bug lives on the scale. It is said that whole orchards in San Jose valley have been entirely cleared of the pest that threatened their destruction by this little bug. In one (case a twenty-acre orchard ha 1 been abandon d to the scale, the owner having despaired of a remedy. The ladybug came along and attacked the scale in that orchard ; in one year it had much improved, and in two years every scale was annihilated, and the orchard is now as healthy and thirfty as it ever was. Placer (Cit.) Herald. Old-Fashioncd Beds. Two hundred years and more ago the beds in Kngland were bags filled with straw or leaves, but not upholstered or s jtiarcd with modern neatness. The bag could be opened and tho litter remade daily. There were few bedrooms in tho houses of ancient Kngland. The master and mistress of the Anglo-Saxon house had a chamber or shed built against tho wall that inclosed the mansion and its dependencies; their daughters bad the same. Young men aud guests slept in the great hull, which was the only no ticeable room in the house, uu tublcs or benches. Woolen coverlids were pro vided fur warmth; poles or hooks ou which they could hang their clothes pro- i jected from the wall; perches were pro- . vided for their hawks. Attendants aud sen ants slept upon the floor. I $1 50 PER ANNUM Leather From Catfish Skin. "When I was shooting on the St. Francis River in Arkansas, somo years ago, I discovered that catfish skin made good leather," said Jacob Trungcnwalt, the fishing-tackle maker, "and I have manufactured it ever since. I heard a story when I was thero about a big catfish which had broken all the nets in the neighborhood, and I laid for him with my gun beside a pool which he frequented. I stayed there all day and was leaving at moonrisc, when I threw the remnants of somo canned salmon on which I had lunched into tho river. Suddenly I saw a huge black shining object roll half out of the water. My heart leaped to my mouth. I pulled myself together and held my gun in readiness. There was another splash, then bang went my gun, and floating in the pool I saw tho big cattish. He was dead, the builet having gone through his head. He weighed 100 pounds. AVell, sir, I had him skinned in no time, intending to stuff tho skin, but the fel low I gave the job to made a botch of it, nnd brought mo the skin beautifully tanned instead. A happy thought struck me that I might profit by the accident, and I started and have since successful ly carried out a catfish' skin tannery. We make use of it for everything, from shoe laces to slippers, cabas, pocket-books and fancy pocket-case covers." The leather is light in color, very soft, and Mr. Trungenwalt says: "Tougher than the hide of a badger." Philadelphia 2'imet. An Alaska Forest Wandering around near camp, says Lieutenant Schwatka in the New York Timet, I was struck with astonishment at the great size of the trees of the forest into which we had crept. Within twenty feet of our camp-fire were two trees, one of which measured twelve feet seven inches,, and the other seventeen feet in circunrtpren; e at the height of a person's arm from the ground. The latter had itt thick, shaggy bark stripped off nearly to the ground, being a dead tree, and thut (losing much in its measurement. About thirty yards from camp was a tree that gave twenty-one feet in circumference at about six feet from the ground. ' Tht most astonishing part was that such a forest should be found actually sur rounded by ice ten to twenty miles across in everydirection. Of course it is rea sonable to supposcvthat trees wero here before the ice, and that the forest proba bly once connected with the forests ol the great flat lands. Here was undoubted evidence that this small forest was being obliterated rapidly by the advancing front of the Guyot clacier. tho foot ice grinding the huge trees into pulp nnd splinters as surely as a quartz-crushei grinds the rock into powder. An Aerial Cat Fight. In front of my cabin, at Marble Gap, on a high mountain side of tho Chcoah range, are some tall trees with thick clusters of undergrowth, in which an old brindle cat makes her habitation, and where sho has raised a family of kittens. Yesterday three large hawks were seen flying over the trees, evidently looking for prey. Presently one was seen to dash suddenly to the ground, seize a kitten and make haste for her nest in tho top of a tall poplar. The crying of the kit ten in its aerial flight was distressing and pitiful, and the mother, now frantic with grief, watched the hawk with a vigilance that only an angry cat could command. When the hawk went to its nest with a feast for her young the cat immediately ran up the tree, which was fully forty feet to the first limb, and In her desper ate rage sprang at the hawk, when a tearful fight ensued, during which the cat, hawk, kitten and young hawks were precipitated to the ground, fighting and squalling as they foil. The sudden con tact with the earth caused each to break its hold, when the hawk flew up, only to be shot down by a guard on post near by, the old cat b"ing mistress of the situation with a badly lacerated and broken-legsred kitten and the young hawks on which to feast her littlo fam ily. Iialeigk (A". C.) AW and Olmerver. Farming in the Gas Region. It is said that the man who lives or the Kagy farm in Jsorthwestern Ohio if making arrangements to continue farm ing all winter.on account of the immense heat from the big natural gas well there. He is now preparing to put in spring crops. Who knows what possibilities are bound up in natural gas! With a system of pipes underlying the soil, and several wells so situatod its to take advan tage of the prevailing winds, and giving forth their heat to th air, why may we not have in the gas region farms that shall yield all the products of the tropics and pum, kins and oranges, white be;ms and spices grow together in harmony? In n word, why may we not look to see the garden of Fden renewed along the gas belt? Jameatoirn (Ar. Y.) Journal. A Peculiar Power. "Now, children," said the teacher of the infant natural history class after the peculiarities of the crab had been dis cussed, "is there any other member of tho animal kingdom that possoKcs the power to move rapuny back want.' ' "Yes," said one of the most promising of the little schol ir, "the inulo kiu do it.'' New York 8 ui. Condensed Tragedy. II Tiuile Klois; KlKlll I Dude, Nuut; tiirl, (Sweet Ill Man Hoot; Inula Heoot. -Merchant Trurrler Mi s. Lauvtry takes a cold -bath every morning, and then goes buck to bi d for a half hour's nap. !rhe ulso practices regularly with the foils every day to keep m good form. RATES OF ADVERTISING. One gqnare, one Ineh, one insertion. ..I 1 One Square, one Inch, one month I 00 One Square, one Inch, three months. " One Square, one Inch, one year , 10 Oe Two Square, one year.'. It 00 (Uiir:er Coiumn, one year W 00 Half Column, one year 10 00 OneColnmn, one year .............100 to Lettal advortlietn mil teu conn yr It im eaen In ertion. Marriage and death notlcei gratis. All bills for yearly advertisement eotleeted qnar. trrlr. Temporary adTerikemente mast fee paia to advance. Job work cub on dot I very. FRIENDSHIP. Like music hoard on the still water. Line pines when the wind p&rtsnth by. Like pearls in the depth of the ocean. Like stars thnt enamel the sky, Like Juno and the o lor of roses, Like dew and tho freshness of morn, Liko annshino that kis-es the clover. Like tassels of silk on the com, Liko notes of the thrush in the woodland, Like brooks where the violets grow, Like rainbows that arch the blue heavens, Like clouds when the sun dippeth low, Like dreams of Acadian pleasures, Like colors that gratefully blend, Like everything breathing of pureness Like these is the love of a friend. -Josephine Canning, in Good Houscktrp ng. HUMOR OF THE DAT. When a woman "knits her brows" it is probably because she is out of yarn. Loieell Courier. An artist once painted the picture of a gun so naturally that it went oil the Sheriff took it. I'vck. "I'll just give you a few points" re marked the paper of pins as the mau sat on it. Merchant Traveler. s .: Teacher "What is the hottest place in the United States?" Pupil "A hornet's nest." Pinnman't Journal. . . There was a time when a man thought twice before marrying. Now he thinks three times after marrying. Detroit Fret Press. : General Lew Wallace says that when he is traveling he "writes on the cars." Next he'll take to whittling them with his penknife. Philadelphia CalL Fogg says that when he asked the fu ture Mrs. F. for her hand he had no idea it was going to cost him so much to keep it in gloves. -ZWoi Tranxcript. Drummer (just arrived) "Is this a real wide-awake town?" Hotel Keeper "You bet it is! Wait till you hear the cats to-night." Burlington Free Press. Oysters have only been an article of diet for a hundred years, says an au thority. We know better than that. Why, tho joke about tho church fair oys ter is over 1,000 years old if it is a day. Oraphie. "The loss of my husband completely unnerved me," said a lady to a neighbor who had been recently afflicted herself. "Yes, dear, and the loss of my husband completely un-man-cd me.'' Carl Prel eeVs Weekly. "You know something about music, don't you, Joggius?" "A, little, Snoop er." "Then what docs this paper mean when it speaks of tho 'higher kinds of music?'" "Must mean upper-attic, I think." PHUburg leUgrapli. A magazine writer asks: "What is true joy ?" True joy is what a woman feels when a committee at a country fair declares that her crazy quilt is prettier than all the assembled crazy quilts of her neighbors. Baltimore American. Military discipline at West Point is so strict that a beetle may crawl down a private's back when he is in the ranks, and he must not indulge in the slightest evidence of perturbation. lie must simply hope that tho bcetlo will crawl up again. Detroit Free 1'rent. A contemporary says: "We consumed much more pig iron the first six months of this year than during the correspond ing period of last year. " Whatever may be said about our esteemed contempo rary's tasto, nothing can justly be urged against his digestion. Oraphie. When you tell her she's the sweetest, The prettiest and neatest Maid you've mot and that the ground sht walks on you adore. If you hear her murmur "rats!" Then bo very sure that that's A sign that she's no neophyte but has been there before. Iioston Courier. The Arab Soldier. The Arab looks very well on horseback, though ho might not altogether suit the taste of the shires. His saddle is gener ally red, peaked before and behind, and placed upon several colored felt saddU cloths; the stirrup broadens out so as to give a wide space for the foot to rest on; it is pointed at tho corners, thereby en abling the rider to tear the horse's rib even without tho aid cf a pointed stick or a steel spear-liko spur which ho often pushes in between his slipper ami the stirrup side. The Arab soldier, with hii white burnous fluttering behind him, his high red saddlo and saddle cloths, his knees high and body bent forward, with his long silver m .unted gun flourishing in the air, looks, as he gallops forward in a cloud of dust, tho very embodiment of the picturesque exultant war spirit of past ages, not sobered down by scien tific formulas lor murder, but free to carry out his own bloodthirsty purposes with as much swagger and ostentation as possible. As a horseman, I believe the Arab to have an excellent scut but an execrable hand ; he loves to keep his boast s head high in the air. and so he ceaselessly juggles at tho bit, upon which he always rides, until one wonduis how the wretched brute can put his feet safely down ; yet ho does somehow. No one rides camels in this country, but the Sultan is said to have some very fleet dromedaries capable of doing mar velous journeys, und, of course, iu those parts of Morocco which merge iuto the Sahara the camel is indispensable. Ths liarbary donkey is a short-legged, long suffering, indispensable lcast. It is easy to comprehend tho ass existing without ( Tangier, but it is impossible to com rive Tangier existing without tho as; his patient littlo body bears every possible burden, from the foreign Minister's wife, for example, who aits upon the pack with great dignity, und, preceded by her .Moorish aoldier, pays culls upon other Ministers' wives, to the latest thing in iron bedstead-, to bo sold in the public mat ktt. Coinh ill. 1
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