THE FOREST REPUBLICAN It published tTorjr Wtdneiday, by J. E. WENK. Office in Bmenrbaugh & Co.'s Building KLM BTKEBT, TIONESTA, PA. Terms, f 1.00 pr Year. No ubtcrlpttnnt received for shorter pri than three months. t'orrinpomlonee aotlcltad from til niirU of the oouiitrjr. No notice will b taken of anonymous communicatlona. A DIFFERENCE. Ton drink from out your on The s wo tec t wine j I have but bitter drogt And loo, In mlns. Eou bar the rlohest fruit In all tho land ; Mine ha turned to ashes Within my hand. You count your conquests o'er And little dream My love in greater far Than all they seem. A thousand hearts are your, You care for none. I'd give my life to bare The heart of one. Edith Sessions Tupper. COMBAT OF THE THIRTY. The great fencing master of Paris, Vig caut, of Paris, narrates this extraordi nary incident in a recently published work, tho hero of tho story, Jean-Louis, btiug a French mulatto: In 1 SI 4 Jean-Louis had not yet left the army; lie had taken part in more than thirty battles or engagements in Egypt, Italy, lTiissia and Russia. It is in Spain that we lind him during that disastrous year of 1814; which witnessed tho su preme effort of Napoleon against the in vasion of Europe. Tho Thirty-second regiment formed part of the third division of the army, and bad just arrived nt Madrid by terriblo forced marches. It was no longer a question of conquest, but of falling back upon France as speedily as possible. Scarcely had tho regiment been able to obtain a few hours rest at Madrid, than several non-commissioned officers and soldiers of that regiment true zouaves of the epoch scattered through the various quarters of tho city, upon what in troop ers' language they call la noce "a spree." Unfortunately the fun was soon spoiled by one of tlmso soldiers' quarrels, which occur only too often in an army composed of the most hetcroclitic elements. It must be remembered that as soon as Napoleon I, added a new kingdom to his conquests, his first euro was to incorpor ate into his army the armies of the nation ho had vanquished. Thus it camo to Eiss that for five or six years, Italians, utch, Saxons, Bavarians, not to mention our traditional friends the Poles, took part on tho sido of France in the great battles of the empire. So long as the star" of the conqueror continued to thine, these armed hosts which Napo leon urged before him accepted their condition of subjection; but from tho day the star began to pale, each only thought of shaking off tho yoke of tho terriblo master who obliged Europe to conquer itself with its own weapons. The defections of 1813 Lutzen, Raut stcn, Leipsic especially indicated that the prestige of the conquerer was being gradually entombed beneath tho snows of Russia. All (jiennnny commenced to turn against those Fiench regiments of which she had been the auxiliary. The Italians incorporated into our army were almost tho only ones v ho remained faith ful to our fortunes. lint if, even in the hours following victory, certain violent animosities had never ceased to exist be tween regiments so incongruous both by nationality and temperament, it may readily be imagined how such ill-feeling would develop on the day when serious reverses had robbed our eagles of their aureole of invincibility. The Third division of the army of Spain, which included tho Thirty-second regiment, of which Jean-Louis was a mcmber,a'so included the First regiment. Now this was composed almost exclusive ly of Italians, incorporated voluntarily or forcibly into the imperial military system. Some of them had also started through the city to seek amusement and wine. Suddenly the noi-e of a violent quarrel reached a posad:i in which the French were singing merrily. These instantly ceased their fun, and listened: "It is those rascals of Italians. Ha! they are fighting with our men!" The noise redouble!. Soon was heard the clash of steel, a tumult of tables overturned, yells of fury, and ferocious shouts of "Rally here, Frenchman 1" "Death to the Francesi!" In the twinkling of an eye the French rush into the street, run to the scene of the light and shout to all comrades to lollow. Rut other Italians drinking in other pnsadas have also heard the appeal of their comrades, and hurry to succor them. In a lew minutes more than a hundred men of the Thirty-second regi ment are lighting with as many men of tho First. It is a regular pitched battle; blobd Hows, heaps of wounded are lying upon the pavement, and ouly the arrival of two companies with tixed bayonets stops a struggle which is degenerating into a butchery. The loaders are arrested; and the mili tary chiefs immedintely hold council. This time, beyond ail question, a severe example must bo made; othcrwisediseip line will be altogether destroyed. Soldiers, oblivious of the uniform they wear, have attacked each oilier. Finally it is unani mously decided by tho council that the fencing-musters and provosts of the two guilty regiments shall answer nil respon sibility lor the quarrel, and shall honor ably tight it out in duels until it shall be decided impossible to continue the com uat. Fifteen swordsmen are selected upon either side. Jean-Louis is the first fencing master ci the Thirty-second regimeut. The first fencing muster of the lirst regiment in Uiacouio Ferrari u man nearly six leet high, active and incontestable' brave. 'Ie has practiced the science of arms from his infancy, in that Italian school still so celebrated. Before entering the army Giacomo Ferrari hud even opened a lMciiijf ichoo in Florence, -winch, bud C VOL. IVII. NO. 11. won for him a reputation that extended to the furtherest parts of the peninsula. It is with this redoubtable adversary that lean-Louis will have to measure himself Since tho famous combat of the Thirty, I do not hesitate to nflirm that military history never offered the spectacle of a more terrible encounter than that of those soldiers, all skilled in the exercise of their art,-r-all habituated to look death in the face without winking nil re solved to sustain the honor of their regi ments to tho last gasp. Imagine a whole army all drawn up in battle array upon one of those plains without the walls of Madrid 1 In the center of this solemn marshalling of soldiers under the dark blue sky of Nueve Cnstilla, a largo empty space has been re served. For this space choice has been made of a slight elevation of the ground, forming a sort of natural platform which dominates the scene so that when, in a little while, the selected combatants shall take their places naked to the waist, with drawn swords, there will not bo a single spectator of tho tragedy among all these impulsive soldiers drawn up in line of all the Madrid populace that pant with excitement as at the outset of a bull-fight who will lose a single detail of the combat which is going to take place. It is in the presenco of ten thousand wit nesses that the honor of the army is to be washed in the blood of those thirty bravo men. There is a roll of drums. Sonorous and brief words of command are given. Simultancosly the butts of all those muskets descend upon the lirmsoil,making it quiver as with a vibration of thunder. Tho men suddenly appear upon the empty space of the little mound; they take their places w ith a quick and confi dent step. One of these two men,' tall and strong, with black eyes and scornful mouth, gazed around him at the fever ishly curious crowd with an air of haughty confidence it is Giacomo Fer rari." The second, also tall, very swarthy; with muscles that seem like bands of dark steel, remained perfectly motion less, waiting it is jean-Louis. The seconds of both combatants take their respective places. A silence as of death has suddenly suc ceeded to tho murmur of curiosity which hud circulated like tho moaning of the wind before a storm. And in tho midst of that silence, suddenly bursts forth these two words, heard by ten thousand spectators: "En garde 1" Tho two fencing-masters cross swords. From the first instant Giacomo Ferrari seeks to make a deadly thrust at Jean Louis, but in vain his sword per petually encounters tho immovable blade of his adversary. He retires a step and resigns himself to more patient manoeu vres. He caresses, ho teases the sword. Calm and watchful, Jean-Louis lends himself to all his adversary's flourishes. Suddenly tho Italian utters one of those roars peculiar to swordsmen of his race, and makes a sudden leap to one side, followed by a lightning upward thrust. It is an old Florentine trick that has often done hint good service. Rut almost at the same instant a cry of anger, rather than of pain, escapes tho lips of Giacomo Farruri; with unparalleled rapidity Jean-Louis has parried the thrust, and his own blade, after lapping about his adversary's to present another lunge, suddenly ubuudous its apparent purpose, and delivers a swift riposte, burying itself in tho Italian's shoulder. " It is nothing," ssys Giacomo, recov ering himself with difficulty. Again the swords cross; but almost immediately tho Italian feels himself struck in the breast. This time it is the sword of Jean-Louis which attacks; and it has entered deeply. A livid pallor suddenly overspreads the face of Gia como; his sword slips from his grasp, and he falls heavily to the ground. They rush to his side, lie is dead. Jean-Louis has already resumed his first position. He wipes his sword, and holding tho point downward, waits. The first fencing master of the first regiment has beeu carried oil dead; but nothing has been decided. Fourteen more adversaries, fencing masters and provosts, aro standing at the foot of the mound, impatient to measure themselves with the victor, and eager also to avenge the death of that cliK-f whom they had believed invincible. Jean-Louis has scarcely taken two min utes rest, lie is again ready; a new ad versary leaps to meet him; their swords cross. A sinister clash, a cry, a gasp; Jean-Louis has delivered his thrust, and recovers himself holding his sword point downward. A second corpse is ljing before him. The third adversary pre sents himself. The judges of the coin bat are actually compelled to interfere in order to prevent him from rushiiig reck lessly at Jean-Louis, who with an eye allame now surer of himself than before and without thinking of rest, is equally ready to meet him. "1 am not at all tired," he simply re marked. The signal is given. The Italian is a very tall man, like the fi st fencing mas ter "whoso corpse lies beyond, with a mili tary cloak thrown over it. lie has at tentively watched the sword-play of the mulatto; he thinks that ho has surprised his set-ret. He multiplies leaps, feints, surprises. Finally, crouching almost to the very ground, iike a tiger preparing to spring, he delivers a terrible upward thrust at the mulatto. Rut the blade of Jean Louis, after a lightning parry, buries itself in the Italian's breast. The latter is borne away insensible. Shall I follow the details of nil these epical duels? No. Let it suffice for me to remind the reader that what I an. now writing is authentic history that 1 am inventing nothiug thul this encounter is recorded in the official bulletin of t he army and that I have a. so obtained the evidence of witnesses who heard the liur rative from the lips of Jc.iu-l.uuis in person. So muc h kuid, 1 w ill com hide the narrative io M few words a poHibie, MOTH TIONESTA. PA.. WEDNESDAY. JUNE 25, 1884. Ten new adversaries succeeded the first three all experienced prevots d'armesof established reputation. All these ten fell before Jean-Louis. Tho thirteenth was carried nway sonscless, in tho midst of a clamor that sounded like a vast clamor of terror. After this succession of victories with out precedent in the history of tho duel, one might readily suppose the French master was wearied out. In that unheard-of contest, which, timed by tho watclrt had lasted scarcely forty minutes, Jean-Louis had delivered twenty-seven sword thrusts, of which three were in stancously fatal. There were only two of his adversaries left out of the fifteen who had been at the outset so anxious to measure themselves with him. Assur edly, those two men were Dot a whit less brave than those who had gone before them, but however strong human wills may be, how could their courage fail to be shaken by the successive shock of so many poignant emotions! Nevertheless neither of them showed any signs of the despair which must have invaded their hearts. Pale, but resolute, they remained erect, shuddering, but ready to advance to their fate. A sort of momentary truce had re sulted from that moment of terror for one side, of proud enthusiasm for the other. The colonel, an old soldier bronzed by twenty-five years of cam paigns, now deemed that the terrible but necessary lesson had produced the effect desired. It was now possible, without Hie least blemish to military honor, to check the reparation exacted at its thir teenth victim. The colonel went up to Jean-Louis, who, in his bronze immobility, seemed like some antique statue of Fear. "Master," he t aid, "you have valiant ly sustained the honor pf the regiment. In the name of the whole Thirty-third, I thank you! Rut thirteen successive duels must have almost snapped your muscles asunder. Withdraw now! if your fellow fencing-masters choose to finish the contest with tho two remain ing adversaries, they can do so." Jean-Louis' anger exploded as though the colonel's words contained the intima tion of a doubt or as though ho felt a bitter pleasure in giving voice to the ovcrfulness of emotion which oppressed him. "No!" he shouted "no! I will not abandon tho post assigned to me by the confidence of tho Thirty-second regi ment; I will stay right here; and I will fight just as long as I can iiold a sword !" In uttering these words, Jean-Louis made an energetic gesture. In the over exerted condition of his nerves, he had not noticed that tho circle of spectators, encouraged by the colonel's intervention, was closing in about him. In gesturing his sword described a swift half circle, slightly wounding one of his) comrades in the leg. Jean-Louis observed the accident be fore the wounded man had even time to utter n complaint; his feverish ardor instantly left him. He sprun? to his friend; and tears were seen in the eyes of the man who, without regnet or weak ness, had just shed the blood of thirteen adversaries. "Ah!" he cried "only one man of the Thirty-second has been wounded to day, and that wound was given by me !" The colonel took advantage of "the in cident to terminate the encounter. "Jean-Louis," he said "that is a warning ! Enough blood has been shed. All have acted like brave men will you not take my word for it as a judge of military honor?" "Why, colonel?" " Weil, I declare that honor has been fully satisfied ; and that only one thing remains for the Thirty-second to do namely, to shake hands loyally with the lirst." An enthusiastic cheer arose. Only the two remaining provosts of the First regi- i mcnt remained motionless and silent. The colonel, pointing to them, said to Jean : "You know they cannot be the first to come to you." Jean Louis felt himself conquered. Ho threw down his sword, and advancing to the two provosts, held out his hand to them. " Vive Jean-Louis ! vive Thirty-second !" shouted ten thousand voices. "Vive le First regiment !" cried Jean Louis "we are all of one family. Vive l'Hrmec!" It was the signal of reconciliation a reconciliation that was sincere and com plete. In a moment both friends and adversaries had gathered about Jean Louis, to compliment him, to dispute the honor of pressing his hand. Much affected, the fencing-master tore him self away with difficulty, by reminding them that it was his duty to look alter the wouuded. This mark of sympathy won all hearts to him. From that moment all ill-fealing between the two regiments ceased ; and tho treaty of peace was celebrated the same evening with many bumpeis of Xeres wine. Thus ended this duel, or rather ducl brelan, which realized in the nineteenth century the legends of ancient chivalry. A Lilliputian Locomotive. One of the finest exhibitions of the patient ingenuity of a skilled mechanics is a perfect reproduction of u locomotive made by Mr. Case, a watchmaker of Franklin, Penu. From the point of the cow-catcher to the end of the tank it is six and one-fourth inches long and weighs two pounds. It is finished in gold, sil ver ami steel, and to the most minute part is a perfect locomotive. Mr. J.'ase has spent four years in building it. It makes its own steam, puups water into the boiler, has a throttle vulve, bell, sand box and, in fact, lacks nothing found iu a liist-class locomotive. Many locomo tive engineers have examined it und they pronounce it perfect. Mr. Case will have a miniature track built und place it on exhibition at the Cotton CenU'Uui-il exhi bition Ui New OiUiui, FIRE FROM TIIK ROCKS. THB TAMOUS X.UMIV0US BTOHB OP SALT Z.AEB. A Vankre'i Trlrk In India-Phos phorn rnl OlamumU and Italn lleat DtalOilng l.lgbt. " Here's something rather remarkable." said a mincraloght to a Philadelphia 7'imat writer, handing out a piece of stone that was of a light gray color and seemed to possess no particular interest. "Just stop in this dark room, aud now rub the stono on the wall." Tho writer did so, and a streak of red light was tho result. "Phosphorescence?" queried the some what startled observer. "No. It is nothing but simple lime stone from the region about Salt Lake. Some time ago some laborers were dig ging out the foundation of a house when they came upon a ledge of this mck that was so soft that it was found not neces sary to blast. The contract for building culled for tho completion at a certain time, and so a gang of men worked all night by an electric light, but the first man that struck his pick into the rock dropped it and rushed out of the excava tion in such a manner that the others, demoralized also, left, and when the boss demanded the reason the man said that he had seen a spirit, or had struck tho evil regions, for as soon as he touched the rock a stream of red fire came out. The overseer of course doubted the story, but jumping in ho struck a blow with a bar that went far toward coroborating the other's story, as no sooner did the iron touch the rock than a flash of red light ensued that lasted sev eral minutes, finally, slowly dying away. It was found that the slightest touch or scratch produced the same re sult; in fact, the rock was phosphores cent. A simple scratch on this, you see, makes a light that will last two or three seconds. It is limestone, indeed almost pure carbonate of lime with a few iip purities. Examining it nnder the glass it is found to be loose grained, so that it really appears like a sandstone. "You know," he continued, "there are some objects that only show their luminous properties on exposure to heat. Subject this to heat and it will glow for three or four minutes with a rich, red light, and then dio away entirely. A piece was recently exhibited before the Philadelphia academy of sciences and tho members mnde the interesting dis covery that in their collection was an other specimen of a similar limestone, but from Kangberry, India. A gentleman who had visited the locality told me a curious story in this connection. It seems that several years ago a genu ine Yankee from Vermont found himself in Calcutta with less than enough money to buy him a dinner and his sole property an electric battery. He had been a little of everything in his time, but had de voted most cf his energies to collecting minerals and curiosities of all kinds, and when he found himself in the lurch, as it were,he determined upon starting through the country and trusting to luck. He was very successful nt sleight of hand and easily mude his expenses. In several months he found himself at the locality before named, and in prowling around discovered the luminous limestone by accident. With mother wit he deter mined to take advantage of it, and in a day or so the little village in which hn was staying was full of rumors to the effect that a wonderful wizard was among them who was enabled to work marvel ous cures by drawing fire from the rocks and imparting it to the patient. "In the meantime the American had erected a hut near the ledge of rock and was visited by hundreds, and rigged tip with a curious costume he carried on a business for some time that made the native cure-alls wild with envy. His method was to take a number of persons into the hut, and with his tiuger-nails, that were sharpened for the purpose, scrape down the side of the limestone that loft marks of lurid flame, of course astonishing to behold; then joining hands with several and having the bat tery concealed ho gave them a shock that they thought came from the rock. No doubt it did them some good, and for u long time he did a thriving business, until finally a rival appeared in the field, and ho was obliged to leave the place. "The subject of the phosphorescence of inorganic matter is of great interest, and experiments are being made in many laboratories. Curiously enough," said the mineralogist, "many of the discov eries that have been made regarding or ganic phosphorescence have been the re sults of efforts to manufacture gold. You see that is worth tho labor of the chem ist. Itias hardly been done, though I know a man who claims to have discov ered tho process and expects to flood tho market so the first suoccss-perpetual motion machine will probably bo made of this manufactured metal. "One of the first experimentalists in the gold-making line was Yiucenzo Cas tinola, a shoemaker, of Rologna, in the sixteenth century. He wus a famous chemist of the time, working alternately at his shoes and his drugs and bottles. Tho real reason, however, for his investi gations was to find out the secret of gold making, and one night, in wulkiiig in the country, ho stumbled over a stone that was so extremely heavy in compari son to others that he took it home and. beginning his experiments, discovered phosphorescence, which he considered the element of gold. Not being able, how ever, to get the gold out he took it to another noted chemist and for many years it was the subject of innumerable experiments aud attempts to obtain the gold, as the stone had the then i niark able faculty of shining iu the dtiik with a golden gleam after it had beeu exposed to the rays of the sun. The stone is now well known us burytine, that is phos phorescent after insolation. The purious mineral U Mill sold, la Bologna, the M 0 $1,50 PER ANNUM. Bologna ttone and explained as solar light. "The discovery that diamonds are phosphorescent was mado in 1103 by lfobcrt Boyle and created a great eonsa tion. A diamond was shown that looked like a burning coal in a perfectly dark room. An old chemist of Hamburg while trying to manufacture a gold fluid made accidentally a sub stance that . shone in the dark, and in a delirium of delight he went to the chemist, John George II. of Saxony, thinking that he had discovered the golden secret. He took care, however, not to inform anyone how it was made. Another chemist hearing of the discovery t avcled a long distance for these times and succeeded in buying the secret for about 200 of our money. But his ex periments were not successful, the mate rial being merely phosphorous that was discovered in this way. Later, in 1C95, a different phosphorescence was discov ered by calcimiug nitrate of lime, and others soon followed, until now hundreds of different methods of its manufacture are known. "Heat in some mysterious way de velops light in certain minerals; thus feldspar, lime, sulphuret of calcium, dia raoncls, etc., when heated to a certain degree give out a soft, phosphorescent gleam over their entire surface. In fact, the luminous property is possessed by everything plants, insects, minerals, nnd even the very air often shows re markable exhibitions. Some years ago I was traveling on horseback at night near Trenton, New Jersey, when a sudden rain-storm came up and in a minute I was completely surrounded in a blaze of light. You w-ou!d have thought the liquid fire wus being poured over me. The trees, rocks and road gleamed in the same mys terious way in fact, if I had been in clined to superstition I should have thought that my day had come. It soon d'sappeared and was merely phosphores cent rain, the cause of which I knew not." The Water Lily's Story. When I first opened my eyes to the daylight I was in a lovely place. My home was a beautiful pond, whose wnters were so clear they reflected the blue 6ky and fleecy clouds overhead, and where everything wus still and calm and quiet; I was surrounded by fair companions each as lovely as myself. We grow fairer and sweeter every day, and we thought ourselves better than tho com mon flowers that grew on the farther sido of the pond, the Daisies, the Blue Violets, Adders' Tongues, that queer fellow, Jack in the Pulpit, nnd the Wild Rose, who was so rude if any one touched her. Were we not tall and slender, fair and sweet of face, and did not our green dresses become our fair complexions wonderfully? Were we not admired by every one who saw us; and more than all, did not our mirror, the pond, tell us we were beautiful every time we glanced in it? Yesterday there came to our pleasant home a gay pleasure-boat with u tarty of ladies and gentleman; the ladies all exclaimed, as soon as they saw us, "Oh, how sweet, how lovely!" and one, whose face was like an angel's, reached over and took me and several of my companions into the boat with them. The other ladies gathered some of my fair sisters, and we were all carried away to our new and separate homes. The lady that I and my sisters were with took us to a grand house on a hill, where we were agaiu ad mired and our fragrance inhaled, and at night I hhuno like a star iu the raven braids of my new mistress's hair in a ball room. Her lover's hand placed me there, and as he did so, he bent aud whispered something in her ear, and then kissed the rosy lips that looked so tempting. Tho warm bloom rose to her cheek, and I thought I never had beheld anything so beautiful. I missed my old home und my pretty mates, but 1 felt sure 1 had fallen into good hands, aud I felt proud in having so beautiful a mistress, and being so udinired. When my mistress came home and looked in the mirror she taw mv drooping head, for the hc.it in the ball-room had made me taint und guid. She took me from her hair, said tenderly, as she held ine iu hand. "Poor wilted lilv, I'm orrv 1 inl and her vou faded so soon." Then she put me iu u vase of water, which refreshed and strengthened me. and this morning when she looked at me in v white petals wcie open once more, which made her excluim : "Ah, my pretty lily, you are alive yet. ain't you. Rut I have lost some of my fragrance, and I know that before the sou sets 1 shall be dead, for the life of a lily is very frail. They hay this is a ro'.d world, but "my lines have fallen in pleas ant places," and I am turu that when I urn dead, and alt my beauty and fra grance gone forever, my sweet mistress will not throw me into tho street to be trampled in the mud, but will lay mo carefully away in remembrance of the night w lieu her lover whispered sweet, tender words as he placed me in her shining braids of hair. t'loml WorU. Colorlnjr Roses. A young man entered a Hartford 1 street car earning three roses, ono j white, oue green and one suliunn col ored. They attracted much attention, especially the green. The ow ner finally . explained that all were white that morn- . ing, und that the coloring hud beeu done by putting the steins of one into green ink, und the other into red ink. The j leaves were beautifully colored, and the ; coloring would not rub off, but it sccmc t ' us if nature hud done the work. The process ouly required ten minutes. : A wise inuu will desire no uioie tLuu he muy get justly, use soberly, distribute, cheerfully, aud leave contentedly. The best way to prevent hydrophuuia is to crawl upon a blind, when voj ste h tyq dog eouuiig, RATES OF ADVERTISING. One Pqnare, one Inch, one Insertion tl 00 One Sqnsre, one Inch, one month S 00 One Square, one Inch, three months OS One Square, on Ineh, one year " J 1 wo Squares, one year J" Quarter Column, one year Half Column, one year One Columnoi T"r 103 w Legal notlcee at j"tsWlbed rates. Marriage and death notices (frails. in hill, fnr Yfnrlr adrer .'laments collected gear teJ Ternary, fruiecu. . mu.t be paid 1 advance. Job werlf eaeh on delWery. SIC TRANSIT GLORIA. This world is full of people, who Are always discontented; Who, if they chance to buy a house, Wish always they had rented. Or, if they have one kind of name, Thpy wish they had another, And when they have a sister come, They wish K were a brother. Just such a one wan Mary Green, Whose Ufa was out of jingle; 8be thought she must bflcome a wife, She'd ne'er be happy sins;l& She didn't like the name of Green, And wanted something better. So both her parents let her try The matrimonial fetter. Thus Mary Green gave up her name, And took that of her master ; Who made her life a dreary one, As long as it might last her. "Alas," cried sho, "unhappy I, These bonds I ought to sever ; Why do I stay? Though once so Green, I'm greener now than ever." MerchanUTraveler. nUMOIi OF THE DAT. The easiest thing to kill Time. Cut down Tho youth's first shave. A "green grocer" One who does not advertise. Chicago Eye. When a man goes to the hairdressers in warm weather he takes a short cut. In the social circles of the chicken-yard the lines are very distinctly drawn, for each hen has her own set. Merchant Traveler. An amateur singer frightened a pair of canary birds to death. It was a case oi killing two birds with one's tone. Chi cagv ISun. The early bird does not always catch the worm ; at this season of the year ha generally catches a body full of shot. Warsaw Wasp. The small boy now with line andpol Hastens to some babbling brook, And doth tha tinny tribe cajole To nibble at h s baite I hook. Richmond, Baton. A certain poetess is said to make goo1 jellies as well as good poetry. It is sug gested that she make a new departure send her jellies to newspaper offices and can her poems. Xorriitoien Herald. There are ten millions of artificial teeth manufactured in the United States every year, and it is estimated that over nine millions are destroyed during the same period in the endeavor to masticate boarding house beefsteak and spring chicken. 1'iuk. A minister suddenly 'stopped in his sermon and sang a hymn. "If the mem bers of the choir are" to do the talking," he explained, "they certainly will permit me to do the singing." And then things in tho neighborhood of the organ be came moro tjuiet. Philadelphia Call. MACHINE-MADE JINGLES, O inky, tinkey, dinkey? The seasons come and go; And winkey, linkev. jinkyl The roses soon will blow. Then chiuky, chunky, chunky I How happy I would be. If w inkey, wnnkey, wonkey, Were ouly here with niel For rinkey, dinkey, pinkeyl 1 hold it can t demean, But kinky, wiuky, sinkey? To give a girl iee ere-un. UU City Derrick, A medical journal states that tho aver asje Chinese baby weighs but five pounds. The journal did not state whether the Chim-so baby's capacity for squalling wai less, in proportion to weight, than that of uuy other baby, but if they howl in the Chinese language as loud as the American kid does in tho United States language, how the poor mother must suffer. If any one h is ever heard two Chinamen hold ing a convention in their native tongue, they can readily see that a child who is just learning to lisp a few syllables intha Chinese language would make Rome how I. IWi't Sun. IIOl'Sli-Cl.EASIMl HORKOltS. When th vines are softly blowing Hound tb airy dogwood treti. And t ie up, I I.iiiIm are snowing Miell hko Uir-.s,.Nis on the lea, And the roort.-r's loudly crowing; WU'ii the dew.hi'p richly spangle I'.mtv lovely T'OV Will 1 l -nt, V li I t!i Ian llir I loudly wrangles V uh tiio t 'imnt our tno mnt, And the gut yo.ir thumb-null mangles; YVh-ii the wiM lluuer is emu -nin liy ne ti'ilil'lbig foivst stream, An ! bright lenvei Um neU nr screening Tin u wti rave mi l jump ami scream O'er the horror of liou.se-;leaiiin';. The Potalo at a Substitute for Ivory Billiard balls made of pure ivory are, according to a French contemporary, be coming rare, siuco some ingenious in ventor has discovered that billiards can bo played as well with potatoes submitted to a process of his ow n. It is rather startling to hear of the familiar potato usurping the ivory ball; but, the inventor referred to guarantees us to their adapta bility for the purpose, and it is needless to point out that the saving of expense is very considerable. The potatoes chosen for manipulation must be perfectly sound und well developed. After curefully peeling them and removing discolored or spongy portions, they lire left during u certain period to steep in pure wuter, to which sulphuric acid is subseipieutly added. This preliminary treatment ac complished, the optiator boils the vege table for a prolonged period iu u chtiui cul preparation iu w hich sulphuric acid is the principal ingredient, Meal care being llwccaSut v at ttiis stuse of the trans- loriyutloii. 1 lie pututu (Mt lic.ik-.i he lo.les "Tuduallv hard, und after being ' posed to u blow tliMiiir piocei is war muted nut to i lutk, Liu to bit lit i very )iptct au uUr,t tUtiSnfs ft Ivir),
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers