(Eljf ,orfsl llrpabiifaa J. 13. WENK. Offloe In Smearbaogh & Co.' Buildin ELM STREET, - TIONESTA. PA. TEHM8, l.OO PEn YEAH. No subscriptions received for a hortar period Mian three month. Oomrnponrtoticefolieltod from all partaof tha country. No notice wid betaken of anonymous If VOL. IV1. NO. 33. TIONESTA, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 21. 1883. $1.50 PER ANNUM. THE RUSSIAN EOU.DIEH. I rassed by the gate of tho palace, Ohl stout are its walls, and wide' At his post was standing a soldier, Like a forest oak In Its pridfl. IIo was young, ho was tall and handsome-; I thought, " Wero but I In his stead!" I Hike and four words he answered: " I am on guard," he s il 1. The air was scented with blossoms Tho,, skies were blue above; I rafd to the stalwart soldier: "Friend, 't:i tho'Utno of lore. You are twenty to whnt fair maiden, Pay, is your hot heai t sped J Only four words he answered:, " I am on guard," he said. In the river 1 esido the palace A boy was drow nlng. A wavo Had ck sed upon h'm. " Ho! soldier! The crowd cried, " Help us to tave! " Never a step took the sentry (The boy has sunk he Is do:td.) Only four wrds ho murmured: " I am on guard," ho sa d. An old man j awed by the pnhvo The soldier's father. The rout Jeered at the ("ebtor whom tyrants Should scar i' the ta.k with the knout. He looked to the stalwart soldier, " Fave mo, my ion! " he pbnd. four words the soi.try answered: " I am on guard," ho said. Then I turoel from the Btalwart soldier, And hid my face in my hnn 1, For" I thought of a dreary proverb Of a dark and distant land; I remen.borwd a Geo g!nn prr.Tjrb With many a si(.,h and vroan; And I knew "twa a truth most bittor: "A soldier's In art must hi stone." Ella Heath, in lite Continent. HIE GREEX-COATED MA.N. Many a long year ngo three or four regiments of Russian soldiers wero en rnmped on a Hat sandy plain upon the shore of the Oulf of Finland, not far from a new town which had just been built nt the mouth of the river Neva, nnd railed St. Petersburg. The sun 'was bc riuning to set, nud t he men, having fin ished their marching and exercising, were having a rent after tho day's work, or beginning to get ready their supper. Most of them were strong and sturdy fellows who looked ns if they could stand good deal of hard work, and hard lighting, too, before giving in. Hut they rertainly did not wear a very tsoldicr-i-t.- .... .i - line appearance, lor an mat ; tney moved heavily and clumsily, mid handled their muskets as if they hud been more used to plows and spades thuu weapons of war. Awkward though they seemed, how ever, these very men wero to be able, only a few years later, to give King Charles, of Sweden (who was then thought to be the best soldieralive), such a beating that neither he nor his army ever meddled with Russi:i again. Hut us they were now, they made a poor figure enough ; and so, no doubt, thought a big red-haired man in Russian uniform, who, with his arms folded on his broad chest, nnd a scornful smile on his face, was watching half a dozen of them light a Ere. ".Pretty fellows you are to call your selves soldiers !'' cried he, in broken Russian, " when you can hardly tell the butt of a gun from its muzzle, ami don't even know how to kindle a lire yet. We manage things better in Silesia, where I Was born and bred." "Well, if your country is so much better than ours, why didn't you stay there ?" asked one of the Russian re cruits, sulkily. "Hecause I was wanted here to make you Russian lubbers into soldiers," an swered the Silesian, fiercely; "and a mighty hard job it is." The recruit muttered something be iwecn his teeth, but did not venture to nake any direct reply ; for this Silesian, Michael Kratsch, was noted bully, and ihe strongest man in the regiment, uud iny one who tried to argue with him generally ended by getting a broken head tor his pains. . While Krutscli was still fuming at find ing no one to vent his anger upon, a little drummer-boy, coming past with a tan of water much too heavy for his thiTH irms, stumbled against him by accident. Like lightning big Michael faced round and dealt the poor little fellow a kick which sent him to the ground, screaming with pain, and caused him to spill every drop of the precious water that had cost to much trouble to bring. An angry murmur ran through the froup of Russians, nnd the Silesian urned savagely upon them. " What are you growling at, you dogs? If you have anything to say to me, sny it tut. You ought to know by this time, I should think, that one honest Silesian U a match for half a dozen such as you !" "Are you quite sure of JhuU" asked a fleep voice behind him. Every one looked round with a start, for nobody had noticed a soldier standing near the group, and listening to the Silesian s boastful talk with a smile of ijuiet amusement. The new-comer picked up the little drummer-boy very tenderly, refilled his tan from a bucket that stood near, and tent him away rejoicing. Then he came llowly up to the tall Silesian and looked liim full in the face. Kratsch eyed the stranger from head to foot, and did not altogether like the look af him. His dress was nothing very ;raud, to be sure, being simply the plain green cout of a Russian private,' so soiled tnd threadbure that an old-clothes man Would scarcely have taken it as a gift. Hut he was as tall as Rig Michael himself, While his Lugo limbs und brawny chest , made such a show of strength that most ptojl would have thought it much better to shnko hands with him than to fight him. " Sol" said the green-coated man, qui etly, " one Silesian is a match for half a dozen Russians, eh ? Well, I can see that he's their match at bragging, anyhow!" The Russians chuckled at this unex pected hit, and one of them laughed out right. Krat sch's face flushed purplo with rage, and for a moment ho seemed just about to fly nt the speaker's throat. Hut there was something in tho stranger's bearing, mid in the calm, steadfast glanco of his keen black cyo, which cowed even the fierce soldier, who drew back with 11 sullen growl. " Well," said Oreeucoiit, quietly, "wo Russians have a saying that corn doesn't grow by talking. If you are a match, n9 you say, for any half dozen of us, let us see what you can do." "Can you throw that stono farther than I can?" nsked the Silesian, pointing to a heavy stone nt his feet. "I can better answer that when I hnve seen you throw it," replied Oreencoat, as coolly as ever. Michael Kratsch threw oil his oat. and baring an arm ns thick as an ordinary man's knee, hurled the stone seven good yards awav. The Unknown threw, in his turn, so carelessly that ho seemed hardly to exert himself at all, yet the stone fell more than a foot beyond Kratsch s mark. 1 he Russians raised a shout of triumph. and Michael's faco grew black as mid night. " Arc von ns nimble with your feet ns with your hands ?" growled lie, through ins set teeth. "Try," answered Greencont, simply. Kratsch pointed to a broad ditch n little behind them, nnd taking a short run shot through the air like an nrrowl The ditch was fully fifteen feet wide from bank to bank, yet ho alighted several inches beyond it. "Pretty fair," Mid the Unknown, smiling; "but I think I can match it." And so ho did, for his leap overpassed Kratsch's by six inches nt least. At tho sight of the heavy Russian faces grinning from ear to ear over his discomfiture tho Silesian's eyes flashed fire. "1 ou haven t done with me yet," he roared, " smart though you think your self. Dare you wrestle a fall with me?'' Without n word tho stranger threw off . his coat and stepped forward. Jt was a grand and terrible sight to sec the two giants strain their mighty imbs and seize each other with tlfeii iron arms, both faces growing suddenly hard and stern ns they grappled. Every man among tho lookers-on held his breath ns that great st niggle began. Thrico did tho Silesian make, a trc- 1m ndous effort to throw his enemy with a strength that seemed ablctearupan oak by tho roots. Hut tho Russian, though shaken, stubbornly kept his feet, until ir..A...l. - .. l 1 . 1 lvruiscu uiuseu, oreaiuicss nnu utterly spent. 1 hen the watching eyes all round saw the stranger's arms tighten suddenly, and lsig .Michaels huge broad back bend slowly in. Furiously he struggled against the overmastering clutch, but he had no more chance than an ox in the coils of a boa. At last the Unknown lifted him fairly oil his feet, and hurled him back ward with such force that he fell with n dull crash against a large stone behind him, and lav stunned and motionless. Just then was heard a cry of "There he is! there he is!" and several richly dressed men, running up to the spot, reverently to the green-coated bowed soldier. We have been looking for your majesty," said one of them, "to give you these dispatches which a courier has just brought from Moscow." At the word "majesty" tho Russian recruits all fell on their knees, consider ably startled to find that this shabby coated private waft no other thnn tho czar himself, Peter the Greet of Russia. "Up with you, lads!" cried Peter: "kneel to no one but God. You are Russian soldiers, und I'm your general : that's all." Then he turned to Kratsch, who lay groaning on the ground, with his left arm broken. I'll forgive thee this time, fellow," said tho czar; "but if ever I catch thee ill-treating a child again, look out! As for these soldiers of mine at whom you laugh, within five years they shall bo the wonder of all Europe. " And so they were. David Ker, in Young 1oiU. Two Dollars Ahead. The " drop game" is frequently played by thieves in city banks. While some customer of the bank is counting the money which ho has drawn a stranger calls attention to a bill which has apparently been dropped by the depositor. Tho customer stoops to pick it uj, nud on re gaining his feet generally finds somo if not all of the money which ho has been counting gone, together with the stran ger. The following story is told of how ex-Senator I)avid Davis once outwitted a would-be thief: Tho judge was making a deposit at a Washington bunk, and stood counting a large pile of money at a desk. A well dressed young man stepped up and, with a bow nnd a smile, said: "Judge, you have dropped a bill." Sure enough, there lay a clean, crisp, genuine two-dollar bill ut the deposi tor's feet. "Thank you," blandly answered tho judge, placing his ponderous right boot over the bill on the floor, and calmly resuming his counting. The sharper, taken aback by tho cool ness of 1 110 proceeding, disappeared, and the judge was $ J uheud by the trans action. W. J. Harlow, of Live Oak, Fin., is 103 years old. His father lived to tho nge of 103, and his grandfather, It Ij Biud, was. 120 years old when he died, GHAITLIXG IX THE RIVEtt. TEW MSB'S PECULIAR OCCUPA TION XW NEW YORK. oarchliiB (or ArHclr that IE rive Knnk llcno tli the Vater..Murinc Ml. (night njm rtrrn. Standing on the Hattery sea-wall at night a person frequently sees dancing on tho water far out, perhaps oil Hedloe's island, n mysterious light. It seems like a will-o'-the-wisp flitting from place to place, nnd still moving in a circle. To a Btrnuger its movements are a mystery; but uhould ho ask ono of tho Hattery boatmen what it is the boatman would half contemptuously reply: "Why, that's a grnppler." Should the boat with tho mysterious light be boarded it would bo found that its stern is fitted with a windlass nnd roller, block and fall, a chain, grappling irons and rope. Two men generally work together. They nre the wreckers of the river. The life of these men is a peculiar nnd by no means a pleasant one. Tho very nature of their business nlmost compels them to work nt night, when the river is clenr from tugs, steamera nnd sailing craft, und they are exposed continually to the extremes of weuther. To-day they strike it rich nnd to-morrow they are Senniless. Sonic of them nro of a saving isposition, but almost ull of them nre utterly improvident. Their life, strange as it may seem, is more intimately con nected with romance than that of nny other class of men whoso avocation is connected with the harbor. The Hattery bontmeu have their freight of interesting story, but they never carry such a freight ns the ghastly burden which the grnppler fishes up from the silent water in the dead of night, or the family secret he raises from the concealing river to the broad light of day. The instinct of these men is something wonderful. They know the strength ofj every current, tho exact formation nnd character of every shoal, nnd, more than nil, they know the exact location of every "pocket," or hole, into which a sub merged object will float and settle. Tho best grappler ou the river front is Robert Peach, better known ns "Peach es." Ho keeps an oyster stand in Coen ties slip to occupy, his time when not upon the river. His touch, or rather his sense of feeling, is marvelous. It can only bo compared to the mysterious affin ity by which an expert telegraph operator can know who is nt the other end of the lino without asking his name. Young Dr. Jancwny, after his return from Europe, dropped two rings off his hand while leaning over the side of the revenue cutter nt the Harge office, lie valued them highly, as they wero presents, and engaged Peach. Peach said: "Don't be uneasy. I know just where they are." At the first trial he drew up one of the rings, nnd said: "Doctor, if I can't get the other one this time you might nswell consider it lost." lie found the second ring nt the second trial, and Dr. Janeway made him a handsome present. Peach himself rarely speaks about his exploits, but once in a w hile, when his memory is stirred up, he loses his reserve nnd talk freely. Iu conversation with the Keus reporter, he said : "About fifteen years ago a young lady ran away from her home in Cincinnati. It was said that it was a case of step mother, but I don't think so, for the father's wife felt real bad, mid don't you mako nny niistako about that. The father nnd wife traced her to this city. nnd nil the detective force was searching tho hotels nnd lodging houses. The sec ond night after 1 was oil Governor's Island dragging just where you see that spile in Huttermilk channel. I struck something nnd I knew I had a find. I hauled in, and when she came up above the water I was hit so hard that I let her fall in again before I took her in the boat. God had been merciful to her, nnd the eels nnd rock crabs had not fastened on her face. Her parents took her home to bury her, nnd I got a hundred dollars." Hut the great ma jority of the wreckers or grapplers are nt by .any means so honest. A sea captain loses a five-hun-dred-dollar anchor or 11 chain cable. One of these men demands $100 to find it. If the captain refuses, but says he will pay flOperday until the anchor is found, the wrecker accepts. He first locates tho anchor, and then goes down to tho spot ut night and hauls it to a place half a mile away, where he lets it drop. At the end of a month he goes to the captain, tells him ho has found it, brings it ashore, and collects $300. Hut leaving their dishonesty in some respects out of consideration the wreckers nre an extraor dinary set of men. Jtoic Ywk Xeirs. Indian Arts. The conjurers of the far Northwest arc legion that will permit themselves to be bound, not merely hand and foot, but the whole body swathed with thongs, withes, ropes and rawhides, nnd after ward tied up in a net, uud then release themselves ulmost instantly on being placed in a little " medicine lodge" of skins constructed for the purpose, the bonds being thrown out through an opening in the top, without a knot ap parently disturbed. Dr. Archie Stock well writes that ho recently saw a medi cine man go through with a long series of incansations, drummings, rattlings of gourds, etc., for the relief of a consump tive, lying iu the center of un ordinary lodge. Suddenly ho announced that he had discovered the spirit that had utllict ed tho sufferer, nnd thereupon, plunging ins iinrms ueneam tuo single uianKct with which she was covered, drew forth tho carcass of a full-grown wolf, nnd flung it with great violence against the door, greatly to tho delight, mystifica tion, uud satisfaction of tho beholders. Ho now ussured tho friends of the speedy recovery of tho squuw, but she died the sumo night, nevertheless. Piee4 Jor time a mummy, Clever Conjnrln?, Tho great Robert Ilnudin went by royal command to St. Cloud, as ho re lates in his "Confidences," to give a show before King Louis Philippe nnd his family. In the courso of this show ho borrowed six handkerchiefs from tho ailience. Then various members of the audience wrote down on slips of paper tho names of tho places whither they would like tho handkerchiefs to be transported. This done, tho conjurot asked the king to choose threo of thoso slips at random, and from tho threo to select the place he preferred. " Come," said Louis Philippe, " let us sec what is on this slip. ' I should like them to be found under one of the candlesticks on the mantejpiece.' " That is too cay for a wizard ; let us try ngain. " 'I should like them to bo found on thodomo of tho Invalides." "That is too far not for tho hand kerchiefs, but for us. "Ah, you will, I fear, find it difficult to comply with the request on .the last slip." The request was that the handkerchiefs should be found iu the box of the last orange treo on the right hand of the avenue at St. Cloud. The conjuror ex pressed his readiness to comply with tho request, nnd tho king immediately sent oil a party of men to keep guard over the orange tree. The conjuror put the handkerchiefs under a bell of thick glass, waved his wand, took up the bell, nnd showed a white dove in place of the handkerchiefs. Then the king, with a skeptical smile, sent orders to the head gardener to open the box of the orange tree chosen, and to bring whatever he might find there. This wns done, nnd presently there was brought in nn iron coffer covered with rust. "AVcll," cried the king, "here we have a coffer. Are the handkerchiefs iu it?" "Yes, sire," replied Robert Iloudin, " they have been there a long time." "A long time, w"hcti it is only a quarter of un hour since they were given to you ?' "What, sire, would be tho uso of magic if it could not perform impossible feats ? Your majesty will bo surprised when I prove to you that the coffer and its contents have been in tho box of tho orange tree for sixty years." The kisg now observed thnt n key wns needed to open a box, and Robert Iloudin nsked him to take the key which was hung by a ribbon round the white dove's neck. Tftis was a key ns rusty ns the colTer which it opened, nnd the first tning lounu in the colter was a parch ment bearing these words: "To-day, June 0, 170. This iron coffer, holding six handkerchiefs, has been placed nmid tho roots of nn orange tree by me, Ralsomo, Count of Cagliostro, to nid tho nccomplishment of a magical feat which will be done this day sixty years before Louis Phillippe of Orleans and his family," . Helow the parchment, sealed 'with Cagliostro's seal, which was well known to tho king, was a packet, nnd in the packet were the six borrowed handker chiefs. Regarding Situ Spots. A young friend has seen it stated that an unusually cool summer is caused by spots on the sun, nnd wishes to know " what these spots nre, nnd what causes them." He has asked a question which many of the most learned astronomers have long been trying to answer, but they have not entirely succeeded. These spots, which appear nt a distance from the sun's equator, and on both sides of it, vary in numbers, and differ greatly in size, some of them being thousands of miles across. Sometimes no spots arc to be seen, nnd they gradually increase until they become very numerous, nnd then after a time disappear. It is found that their times of greatest numbers occur about once in ten or eleven years, and it is supposed that they may affect the amount of heat that the sun gives off to the earth. So little is really known about the sun itself that what takes place on its surface is a matter of guesswork. The spots, seen through a telescope, have a dark center (umbra) surrounded by a less dark portion (pneumbrn), und some times a still darker place is seen in tho middle (nucleus). One view is that the sun is surrounded by layers of bright matter, like clouds, nud a break or open ing in the outer layers, exposing those below, cause the appearance known as sun spots. So much has been learned in late years about tho sun nnd other heavenly bodies that it is likely we shall in time know more about the nature of the spots and what causes them. ' American Ayrieulturht. He Forgot the Stiff Neck. A day or two ago, as tho passengers were leaving one of the fcrrvboats. u. gentleman who stood beside u customs ullicer remarked ; " When I see a poor fellow like that I um consoled for not being rich." "Who?" " Why, that man with a hump (in his back. I had rather be Door all mv dais than be deformed and have millions of money." "I can cure him in about five minutes: come and see," replied the officer, as he walked toward the unfortunate and in vited him to liass upstairs. Thero wns a kick, but he had to go, and threo r four minutes' time sufficed to remove his deformity, which consisted of twenty two yards of flannel und six pairs of socks. "Purty smart !" growled tho smug gler, as he was allowed to go. "Not so very," was the reply ; "a man who carries i hump on his back fahould curry a stiff ut-ck, You didu't-" SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. By careful measurements Professor D. P. Penhallow has determined tho root and the leaf areas of tho Indian corn to be approximately equal. In the year 1872 tho consumption ol coffee in the United Slates wns 34,000, 000 pounds, nnd since that timo it has steadily increased. Last year it was 77, 000,000. A statue to the inventor of the manu facture of soda is about to be erected nt Issoudun, his native place. When this great chemist was alive tho world re fused him a breakfast; now that he it dead, why, a monument, of course. From a paper by Dr. Fritz Mullcr it ?eems thnt the protection derived by in jects from nn evil odor is not always ab solute. He found about thirty speci mens of a very common nnd exceedingly offensive Brazilian specie whose wing? were seemingly pierced by the beak of some bird or other. A scientific expedition for the explora tion of Africa is in course of organiza tion under the charge of Dr. Emil Rie beck. Much is expected of it. Ilerr Bottlob'Adolf Krause will lead the party nnd see that the plans nre carried out. The immediate object is described ns the investigation of the languages nnd social condition of the inhabitants of the re gion about the Niger, Benuc nnd Lnke Tsad. After tracing the invention of the tele phone to Philipp Reiss, whose instru ment was exhibited to the Physical society of Frankfort in 1801, scientific authorities are still not content to let tho matter rest. Tho latest claimant put forth is a Frenchman named Charles Bourseul, who is said to have originated the telephone in 1854, and to have com municated the invention to tho French Academy in the same year. Elephants are capable of doing a va riety of useful services. A Singapore laly has sent a London journal a sketch of elephants at work in the timber yards of Moulmein. Under the direction of drivers seated on their necks these beasts carry huge planks, sometimes two or three together, and with great care nnd precision place them in stacks one over another. The old hands arc even said to take a sidelong view with one eye closed to test the perpendicularity of the stacks. Cracked earthenware should never bt used for domestic purposes. It is a safe rule in good housekeeping to break nny fractured stoneware to pieces and render them quite unfitted for any employment ns utensils. In a paper read before tho Acndemy of Sciences, Paris, M. E. Pcy russon demonstrated very clearly how tho germs of cholera, typhoid fever nnd oiniilar diseases may be preserved and communicated by even the slight.. ot crack or fissure which may bo caused by very trifling accidents to 'crockery anil tiience. Unique In Dignity and Power. There is one judge in the L'nited States who is nt least ns great a personage ns the lord chief justice of England. The American courts and bars are mostly local, but the chief justice of the su preme court of the United States is quite unique in his own diguity and power and in the dignity and power of the tribunal over which he presides. King, lords and commons, if they combine, can defy Lord Coleridge nnd his puisne judges, but the supreme court of the United States can defy the President, the Senate and the house of assembly, howevei much they may be of one mind. Tht supreme court interprets the Constitution of the United States; but its great au thority is shown less by the powers theo retically confided to it than by the fart that tho longest, tho costliest nnd the bloodiest of modern wars was fought tc set aside a single one among its decisions, the judgment in the once famous "Dred Scott" case. It seems a commonplace to say that there is nothing like this among ourselves; but it is a most for midable) commonplace. Where is the authority which decides questions arising jipon the construction of the British con stitution? May we even add, where is the British constitution itself? Where does the legislative authority of the hoic of lords begin and end i What is tho extent of the powers of the crown? There are no debates nowadays on con stitutional law; if a doubtful point arises the caucuses adjure the house of commons to settle it iu its own way, and without regard to any other of the or gans of government. It would almost seem as if the theory were gaining ground that the British constitution ns a whole was only tolerated until it could be radi cally transformed. It is possible that some men now alive may live to under stand that about the most terrible ol dangers is a constitution h a state of flux, left to the mercy not of a court of justice proceeding on fixed principles, but of a legislature falling more and more every year out of harmony withfits theoretical composition and coming more and more under bondage to 11 single one of its constituent parts. -V. JtiiiuJ 0'i li tle, JajiiiIhii. Cinders iu the Fye. In regard to Emily J.'s request for something to mitigate the sufferings caused by cinders we would say that a very simple and effective cure is within the reach of every one. It is bbuply one or two grains of flaxseed. These may be placed in the eve without injury or pain to that delicate organ, and shortly llcy begin to swell and dissolve a glutinous sulistun 'e that covers the ball of the eve, enveloping any foreign substance that may l;e in it. The irritation of cutt'iic; the membrane is thus prevented, uud the unnoyauee may soon li.'. washed out. A dozen of the-e grains stowed away in the po: kct liny prove in all emergency wo.'th iheir Miui'-cr i:i .',"jld, i'ltilaltluttia fVcw, HATES OF ADVERTISING. One Square, one inch, one insertion. . , fl CO One Square, one inch, one month I 00 One Sqnare, one inch, three month. ,, 00 One Square, one inch, one year.... .... 10 00 Two Sqnsres, one year 1800 Quarter Column, one year ISO Ot Half Column, one year M) 00 One Column, one year. 100 00 Iiegal notices at established rate. Marriage and C-inth notices gratis. All billi for yearly advertisement collected quarterly. Temporary advertisement moat be pnid in advance. Job work, cash on delivery 1 HIDDEN FEA.UTY. Look at this blossom through the glass Almost the commonest flower Did you ever dream that a clover held b'uch beauty as Its dower? Now evermore this flower will bear The leauty the glass revealed; The wonderful charm that lay till now From eye and teart concealed. Through charity's rare and mystical glass Loo't at the life of another; Together watch some soul's release, Or hold the hand of a brother, In a clasp made strong by joy or grief Then ever your eyes shall behold The true warm heart, the faithful hoart As you saw it that hour unfold. When others lightly scan that life, And praise or blame bestow, Your lips shall silent be, for you Through love saw depths b?low. Springfield Republican. HUMOROUS. A simple lay An egg. A gold pen A coin vault.1 ' The hotel cook should bo given a wide fsnge. Picayune. Not what it is cracked up to be A worm-eaten nut. New York Journal, It isn't a great ways io the end of a cat's nose, but it's fur to the end of its tail. It isn't such a gain. It's as much work to lick a two-cent stamp as a three, Boston I'oat. Bleached mouse is the latest favorite shade. This will probably be followed by the rat .tan. Somerville Journal. Rattler says the cures effected by laying on of hands is nn old story with him. His mother often indulged in the pastime in times past. "Cook onions to-day 1" he said, ex ritedly. "Cook onions to-day 1 That whelp in the flat above us has insulted me 1" Bonlon Pout. 2 send a letter now you want 2 listen to this tonnet, 2 write it plain nnd tl.en to put a 2 cent srauip upon it. Merchant-Traveler. A subscriber wishes to know if it is wrong to eat pic with a knife. Well, no, not exactly wrong, but we prefer to cat ours with the teeth as our grand; fathers did. Derrick. Lightning never strikes twice in the same place. . Which is just where lightning-differs from the tramp, who always strikes the same old place every timo ho comes around. BurJctte. Auber, on coming away from the first performance of Berlioz's "Trojens," was pressed to give an opinion, but he refused. Finally, pushed to the wall, ho said: " Oh, how bad it would be if it were music!" "Yes," remarked the economical store keeper, "I expect a big run of custom this week. I told my w ife that I had the "best 6tock of goods in tho city and her sewing-circle meets to-morrow." Phila delphia Call. Now, whils the frost bedecks tho plain, And frescoes every window pane, While winds blow 1 o!d across the moor, Both far und near a cry of rain Comes once ajraia a sa I ret 1 ain: " Jerusalem! Just shut that door!" Sexo York Journal. "No," said the poet, "my poem wasn't much of a success. The critics rather sat down ou it. But in view of tho fact that tho printer got tho words 'golden light' 'gutter-snipe,' I don't quite feel that tho piece had a fair chance. " Ch icago Inter- Ocean. The Peruvian war has resulted in 8?0 generals, 1,400 colonels, 2,210 majors, 4, OffO captains nnd so many lieutenants ,that no one can make a list of them. All want back pay in such sums that tho country wouldn't sell for enough to 'square up. Detroit Free Press. A young lady at San Leandro writes, informing us that she has found an infalli ble hint to remind prosy guests chronic staylutes to take their leave at a. season able hour. She. merely ' asks the 'sticker" to see whether the morning 'paper is on the front steps. San Fran cistv Pot. 1 On a steamer lately arrived from abroad during tho prevailing high scasa traveler exclaimed to his very stylish but just then pale and distressed-looking daughter: ;" What, Grace, you seasick !" Looking around at tho rest of the company (hugging the rails, she fultered out: " Y-y-you don't s-s-suppose, pupa, I'd be out of f-f-fashion, do you jf" Toward 1 o'clock in the morning fwo rogues are quarreling in a savago Inanner. A passer-by, moved by the ter rible cries of one of them, accosts a police man und usks him w hy he does not sepa rate the two men. "Monsieur," replies the guardian of peace und order, "if I jhould interfere they would both turn against me!" French Wit.- (Junkers Not Declining. A Quaker who writes from Havei-fo college denies that that sect is declii in number and that it is now comi of middle-aged or elderb u)tloy, younger folk breaking 1 Kingsley. more showy sects. Kiugsley. Friends have also tie; Kingsloy. M111''-'' Nil,la.f s,i' Kingsley. I'll AH 'y ilillH own Indians ui Kiugsley. field. Withth lionesta. ern meetings i , Tiouesta. the bulk of t Tiouesta. tlVClV VOUngMMHHHHMMnMnMW aasujiARRiEp. whert.lllSTl)NCOOKAt the M-,:-doubled siir Hcoton Hilli November (ith. and Kau' it!V' Gurnett, Mr. Willi ain lai'f'C, u'l'1011! a"d Miss Hollia Cook, p of Cooks burg, Forest county, l'a.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers