AN INKIHttATKII STKl.l.t H. Ho left the spoiling bco nt ten o'clock, and stopped in a saloon on his wny hotuo. Here he met several friends who "set 'eifc up'' divers times, and ho reached home about midnight with a confined brain and n very demoralized pair of legs. Then he swore that somebody had stolen his key hole, but hit. wife, with a fearful scowl on her brow and a lamp in her hand, admit ted him. "Drunk 1" she exclaimed. "D-r-u-n-c, (hie) drunk. Thaz cy nun"." "Brute V "IJ-r-o-o-t, (hie) givus harder ono." "Idiot!" "Thai harder (hie) but I ken spell urn. I-d I-d-g I-d-T-g-t, Iaiot. Now glveus er stunner (hie)." She picked ip a poker and gave him a "stunner" aud the spoiling beo ad journed ine die. Mark Twaiu weut to the great base ball match at Hartford, Tuesday, and lost his umbrella, for which he adver tises as follows : "Two hundred and five dollars reward. At the great base ball match on Tuesday, while I was engaged in hurrahing, a small boy walked off with an Euglish-made brown silk umbrella belonging to me, and forgot to bring it back. I will pay $5 for the return of that umbrella in good coudition to my house on Far tttington avenue. I do not want the boy (in an active state), but will pay two hundred dollars for his remains. Samuel L. Clemeua." Bailey says a man is hardor than a woman, except in his. Viands. When she sees him take his coat tail to hold a stove lifter, she pushes him away in disgust, and takes the hot object in her hand . without wincing. If he should do that he would drop it at once, and couldn't help it. When he has a dish to lift from the stove, he very properly starts off to hunt up a cloth, and while he is gone she re moves it with her naked baud, find is there ready to say things that makes him feel small and worthless when he gets back. Last season, P. was nttacked with cholera, aud his friends and physician gave him up as a lost case. As he lay there, apparently on his death-bed, the doctor asked him if the medicines he had taken had in any manner affected his teeth. "I don't know." faintlv whispered P., "hut you can see; they are in ine ton drawer ot the bureau. Mrs. P. will hand them to you." Two friends meeting afrcr an nli. ence of some years, during which time ine one nau increased, considera bly in bulk, and the other still re sembled the "effiirv of a man" said the stout gentleman, "Why, Dick, you look os if you had not had a diuDcr since I saw you last." "And you," re plied me otner,- "loot as it you bad been at oinner ever since. A happy-go-lucky individual who was there attempting to make his way through tho street in Syracuse while under the influence ot excessive pota lions of whisky, was inquired of by a policeman wbituer lie was going. . Hold ing up a toothbrush and tooth' pick, which ho was tightly clinching, he simply remarked : "I'm moving." Flow doth the little busy pig im prove each shining hour, and gather sausages all day from every opening llower: and, when Uie shades ot twi light fall, he ejjimbers in his sty, or sings bis pretty evening hymn, "lioot, little pig, or die. v It is proposed that everybody, man. woman, and child, plant an elm, oak, maple, or somo otUer good tree on the ground where he lives this ye3r, as centennial offering to those who may come attcr them and sit iu the shade of the same. . A genius thus defines the difference between man and women: A man gives forty cents for a twenty-five-eent thin be wants, aud a woman gives twenty-five cenU for a forty-cent thing sue does not want. Peter Cunningham told Douclass Jerrold that he had been supping on a curious dish, which he had never seen before calves' tails. "Extremes meet," was the comment of his pleas ant friend. The Rochester Democrat says that Mile. Plaster, a young French actress, is coining over next season. We pre sume an tue young bloods will bo in clined to court Plaster. "Is this the Adams House?" asked a Btrangcr of a Bostonian". "Yes," was the reply, "it's Adam's House un til you get to the roof then it's eave's." Some clerical purists Lava become so circumspect siuc the great sorrow that they even refuse to countenance persons embracing religion. The terriblo power of appetite is illustrated in the case of the young man who drank up an entire nullpoud which his lather leu nun. Vermont has nine hundred under takers and not a single brewery. A good place to die in, but a very poor one to live in. Do not insist so much on the bloom, but on the health and vigor of the plant. Why is the world like a piano? Bo' cause it id full of sharps and flats. "Eight ycai'3 this Bpring" id about us old us u horse tls to be. . JOB WORK- PONE AT T11R 'REPUBLICAN" OFFICE At the lowest ecufi prices, neatly, prompt ly, and in etyla equal to that of a)iy other establUhment in tht District. BUSINESS CARDS, SHOW CARDS, VISITING CARD&, SCHOOL CARDS WEDDING CARDS, PROGRAMMES, INVITATIONS. BALL TICKETS, ADMISSION TICKETS, MOXTIIXY STATKJIESTS, i ENVELOPES BILLHEADS, LETTER HEADS, NOTE HEADS, CIRCULARS, BLANKS, POSTERS. DODGERS, HANDBILLS, LABELS, B1IUT1KG TAGS, &c. - 'T?-r Allegheny, Valley Rau Road. Oil Creek & Allenhcny Ripr Rail way, and Buffalo, Corry St Pitts burgh R. R. I N AND AFTEH Monday, Februarys, o i,-i4, trains win run as loiiotvs : STATIONS. Northward. Smthward Siv M K. 3 N. 1 s. n p in pin -.1 3.MV rilNbumh w I'on.lnno 4:0-.' 4:")i K:f HtSUj lli'i l i:i: KlttanniiiH 0: CI K. I! k June fi:4'l liv:-ti (VJo 11:1" Hrady Hcnd Parker Kmlonton :ixviiit.v, fl:!Xi!ll 11:::, 7:0' 8:12 P:'" 12:i 1:10 4 :4 10:1(1 Nc.ruliprR.is :1!1 J- rnnkiin l:.r'S 2:8-1 3:0. 2:1.1 8:: Oil City 7:00 7:4. 8:00 Oloopolls 8:00 &!! S:li 12:121 U:4.r)j 10:.r.7 51:2 ! 7:4.i 7::i.1 7:2.1 !:0!i 6:20 ' aiilo Kock 8:17 Tionesta D;i) Tldiouto 10;"s Irviiieton lUVi 3:2(1 4:ir fi:00 f Ttnnscvillo 10:0". 1:52 12:M 7:r! 6:25 Titusvillo 11:10 ,1::10! Oorry MnvvHlo lluilalo fi:l(l 11:1-. 7:00 51:17; 8:&ri 0:().-)! p. m p. ni'a. in a. p. m Trains mn hi" I'hllndolnhla Tlm- J. J. LAWllKNCK, Oen'l Sup't, PENNSYLVANIA CEN TRAL RAILROAD ON AND AFTElt 11 1 P. Sunday Mnv 1, 1870, Train nrrlv t mid livo th I'nioti IVpot, rornor of Wiu.biir.au aii-1 Uberty Btreet, ns rollv: AHK1VK. Mnil Train. 1.S0 a m : Kn-t IJ-i. 12.12 a m ! Well'mireoniiiirMliitlon No. l,-fl,20 n m" llrinton ai'onniinodntion No 1, 7.50 a m; Will's a(Hininolnti(in No 2. 8.fiaa in Cin cinnati oxprom R20 a m ; Johnjtown no cummoJiilion 10.50 am; Bradock's ac cnnimoclntion No 1, 7.00 pin; Pitlwbnrnh rxprpss i.nu p m; f nouic oxpress l.eo p in ; "us it(fiiuiiuHiaiHin ,o ;i, p m ; Hnmowood aicominoiiition No I9.fi.ipm! Wall's accommodation No 4, fl.50 p m; llrinton accciiimioiliuion No 2,3.10 p ni; DEPART. J Honthrrn exrreis 6.20 a m : rncinn rress 2.40 a m ; Willi's accommodation No , fl.SOa m ; Mnil Train 8.1n m ! Hrinton'a accommodation U.20am: ISraddnck's ac commodation No 1,5.10 p m; Cincinnati express 12.33 p m ; Wall's accommodation N 2, 1 1.51 n m ; Johnntown accommodation 4.05pm; llomowood accominodiui'in No I, n.50 p m; Philadelphia express Xro p m; Wall aoeommoilation NoS.a.Ofln ni; Wall's aecommodation No 4, 6.05 p m; Fast Lino i.4u p m; v ail a ioo, li.uu p m. Tho Church Trains leave Will's Station every Sunday at U.05 a. m., rrivliinir Titts- bnriih at 10.05 a. ni. KetnrniiiR leave 1'itts hurtrli at 12.50 p. m., and arrivs at Wall's Station at 2.10 p. m. Cincinnati cxprc-sg loaves dailr. South ern express daily except Momlny. All oth- Lcr 1 rains daily, except Sunday. 1'or lurthcr information nplrto W. ir. HHCICWIT T, Acent." Tho rrnnRylvani.i llailroal Company will not aismiie anv Risk for Hntrirairo ex cept for Wearinp Apparel, and limit their rsponsiDinty to line Hundred DoHat s val no. All bartrane exeeedmir t.iat a mint in value will bo at the risk Til tho nor, imloss taken by special contrnct. A. J. CANSAl General Superintendent. Altoona Pa. srr PITTSBURG IIA.. Tlie folio-n ine list embraces ohlv a nart of our immonsn stock : f IVIuzzle-Loadlnflr Rifles, full cl' Lulf Btock at 12, S15, f20, ami jt Doublo Barrel Rttlea, ?20 to 0. Doublo Riiles and Shot Quna, kit her over and under, or side bv side.and a, all prices from $10 to j:,0. Blntfle-Barrel Shot Gune. for men or boys: cheap sat'o mid durable. All prices 3.50 to 26 each. Double Barrel Shot Guns. Our fifty ditTcrent styles, made ef Iron, Ixndon Twist, LumimiletT Steel orllamaa eus Earrols, flnlshod In the boat and latest stylo, all sizes, for men and liovs, et prices ranciKK from $S, JlO, 15, g20 f25, (u), 850, $75 to $100. PISTOLS, In variety from $1.00 to $8.00. 4, 5, 0, or 7 shooters, of every kind, at all prices from $0.00 to $25.00. BREECH-LOADING RIFLES. Winchester Improved 18 shooter, llowt long range gun iu tho world. Price only $15. Sharp's Celebrated Brooch-Loadiitg Ri fles only $10 each. Remington breech-Loading Uil)t at loest factory prices. WionBon a and Stephen's Pocket Riflee, liblnt; metal cartridges, at $12, $15 and $13. Breech-Loading Shot Guns. The Dexter Sinlo llarrcl Brto h Load ing Shot Gun, usiiiKllraHSshollsi-prico$20. .Stephens' 15. L. Singlo Oun, $1(1. lJonblu llarrel Hreoch Loador.of Moore's Dean's Woodliill'a, Cireonen's, Richards', Suoot's and other lino inukos, at all prices, from $50 to $300 eacli. Send for l'riee List to J. II. JOIIXSTOX, great western gun works, 285 LIBERTY STREET, PITTSBURGH, PA... and state that saw this advertisement In 'I'HB FoKKsT UKFrBL.lC.AN. Take Notiiw-I will buy or trado for Army Rilles.Carbln'os, Revolvers, tc. For price see Catalogue. Orders by mail rwelve prompt attention. .4ooda sent by express to an v point C. O. D., to be examined before paid lor, when requested, 4ti tf $W E. KLKIN, 'i'lDIOUTK, FA. Is sollinir out his eiuire sttick of Wati-lii-s &: Jexrlry A T FIRST COST All nnrtirs In want 'if lold an.l SUvor Watches, Gold and Silver Chains, La dies' Opera Chins, the latest style iu .rold aud plated sets, Bracelets, t u d s. Clocks, Ac, will find this a lirtJ. class op portunity. All goods are now, no old trash. This is no humbug. K. Klein sells ut cost. Go aud see. SUnsriUnKfortho Forest ItepubUoan It will pay. fmm Mm Immense deduction A.t tho Wholesale and Retail . ... :,... G S. HAMILTON fc CO., 77 5 1 OUR MOTTO 13 AND HAS BEEN QUICK SALES AND SMALL PROFITS. Onr-.buslness Is exclusively TIANOS and ORGANS, which enables us to pivci wholo time arid attcntirhi to this exclusivo trade. Thus hero other dealers sell fr hve to ten Instruments a week, our sales verv often ex..,.,., I il,..,, .,i.,..l..,,u i . day, so that we can bettor atl'ord U) sell at 10 20 and 2.Yper cent. Kyeryjlnstrument we sell Is as poM as an a-rent Tor us, as they Invariably Introduce us taroiably to all w Uo see them. We have sold and in use in and about rittslmrsh si one. Hiraimntmmii,.n..n i. .nn. r r months, but are old reliable makes, hat are constantly adding every meritorious Im provement. 1 he really Grand Simmons fe t'louph's Combination Oruans have been iiiauutactiired tor Iwenty-tive years, while the Colobrnted Tavlor A. Farley Celestes organs liavo been nianulacturcd over Twenty years. And now for the purple of In trslucinir them more thoroughly throughout nil tno country towns of the State, we have made new and very heavy contracts for larije number's of them, which w o pro pose to sell on their merits, and without thcsHsisttinrenrAGKNTSnR M IUDLK M 1'N pivliiB t!ie purchaser tho bcnellt of oonimissions and wholcsalo dls,sunts, we are thus enabled to oiler these Organs at tho following prices, at- which wo shall sill for a short CAnrxrET Double Reed, 4 Stop Organs, Regular Price, $113.00 at S5.00 6 FULL RESOXAXT a.AKF.S Double Reed, 4 Stop Organs,' Regular Price, $1G5.00 nt o.'.OO 11 5 " - " 175.00 at 100.00 6 " " 135.00 at 105.00 21 sets Reeds 6 " Vox Humana " 215.00 at 125.00 3 " 8 " Viola " 275.00 at lco.oo Those Orirans nrn all Solid Walnut. Panclim? and Cnrvlnrr all r.r.i.i v..i.,..i -v- .i ther saw-dust mouldiiiKs nor cheap brass trinkets are uwd on tlieso inslrumeuts'overy thing Is of the vorj' best, and are all fully warranted filr live J oars. WILL ER SOLD AT THE Tho above are strictly cash prices, but if or semiannual payments will be taken at I'l "T.I. A tinilliw IHIUT lit: LI V II! T inp made. If the cash price be sent with tho order, the instrument will lie shinned bv Iroipht, if not accompanied w ith tho euh, the Oram will bo shipped by KxpreU C O 1). If time bo desirud, w o reijuiro notes with pood security, or at least pood referei'ecs! Address for Catalogue, and slato whero you read this notice. feblT 14m Ifavinff cotnplctrd the ttlfrratlon of our Htoro room, tr-o iron I re nertfutt!t announce that we have fc-opcnel. l)'e hare arraurel ovr Storewith a rhnv to the con ren It me ofcttxtom ers, and to secure expedition in all broncho! of our bn.siuen. Our Stock trill be new through out, e in l radii; all the hitcst no'rel tien in l ine Jrirelri, U at hen, Sil ver Ware ttnd fancy Uvotlx. llij attention to ciintoincrf, in ducement tnjiricen.and atllierence touh 'ujli standard of iuality, ire hope to merit it continuance of the patronaae heretofore so liberallj bcstoweit, jihix sTfiricxsox's soys, 03 Market Street, I'lttsburyh, I'd. . 54 WOOD ST., - -WHOLESALE- OFFER THEIR STOCK OF DRY GOODS FOE AUTUMN, 187-i, September 15th, 1S71. In. J. P. Fm -liinir iworn, tuvl I (p-fc.!-at4J at tLs TnvcrdtV -.4 YaU' 111 l.-vtt, KnJ flr lt.n' Ii.Tii'luH I, Vyru B ai. 1 Pit lit, whirh 1 g tiriute u ttiiAllic.i cur f.T ii. ift Il3i4. Lhjuti, Hvk, lirt. iimU. K.rru.-t.K. I Uf, bKi A, mitl U Uui uum'i y dnt-.t, b t-Tii V 2f..h Ai'Hl. JWU Q A. OM;OU11N. Xoiary i'u'-.if, t'hti Tri?.li'w.'l'hni.Mnm!iy.l'.IV.l'pui!.i"r f,t -fciLi lv.C.it. t :l!"0;..r.tj:. v..f.K l iunu.i ''ai-ji..- i (' O.twnitli, )''Hfr'!,N.V. j:w..t 'JM.t'-ofv, ':01s ..'tun 1 !i;.j.Aft:i.-tlBR.l4tvritoiT.l i'1 f.l'uib. f rt,iri' 7-1 v Tle Republican OiTic3 KEEPS constantly on hand a laro as. sortmentof lilank Deeds, AIorti;a;;es Kuhpo-nas, Warrants, Summons, Ac. to be sulii -heap lor caU y kit ?& V mth fm m ia r to Suit Use Times! ! Piano and Organ Emporium of FjjwJ , " i AVE., PITTSBUliGIT, PA our mn pur cent, profit on cost, than they can at ' sinulo a. axes. 155.00 at 00.00 165.00 at 05.00 SAJU3 RATKS OF DISCOUNT. desired by tho nnrehnser. either miartertv nil advance of 10 per cent. i .j nor anniiin on I !i I'a OlT'Cntl Oil 1 11. 1 Till bit MM n ..!.. 1.... I. Trnnn seieciiou lie . S. HAMILTON & CO., 77 fifth Aviiiue, nttsburnh, Va PITTSBURGH, PA. IS- 2 AFJD NOTIONS .A.T VI3KY LOW PRICES w25-3in Tho oldest and most reliablo Institution for obtaininp a M ereantilo Kdneation. For Circulars write to V. DUt'l1 A HONS, wiJ-.'lm com ;I'itlsburi;h, l'a. lii:Vf.TOK IIIMMj I((HIS, 203 Liberty St., - - Pittsburgh, Pa. W. IItilMrSOy, Proprietor. ME.tI.NAT AI.l. HOfltS. TKAX.SIEXT CUSTO1I fiOLIC'ITED. wE-vly J tll WtikIC of all kinds done ut this of Ijce on short notice. ot o. w. in n i:ttn i:, I'.M't. r.tM m i:nM,N. V. It. roi.t.n,,). 'HO.w. 1!,AW:. rORTrPITHGUSSaWORKS. Maiinfai ttii'ovs of every variety of FUST GLRSSSUmP CHI fn KEYS AND ' SILVTREDIGLASS nTFLCCTORS, WASHINGTON A I'HANKI.IN STH.', I'l rtniU'iinii, I'a. There Is "t!i i.bly'' In g1nsi, n-s Well M ,, in woolen fabrics, Cmmumers of kpro. cne arc unmet iiuo almost discouraged ho fieijiictitly do chliiiueyi break, without huv apparent muse, I'cmlerlnn Hie cost of chimnevs about i;ual to lli.it ot oil, ( lirnii- I...'; 1... .....I..- i- .1... .1 i . '" iii-iii; in., i.iji-'i i.i nit- i'i.v, a rrHt man v nminilaetiiricN make 'hlmnevs from hi I i,-;it of lime, liislead of from li.i I. The Initiated may toll tno (Illicit nt qualities of L'las by rimrlnii them ; t! e vibrations nl the load Ja.s have a clear, i1hk1iii. bell. Iiko sound, piwNcsMinir tho rciiulHlt strength to withstand expansion anil run. traction, s wcil ns thep iM ral prcssuro of use, ni'd will oullast halt' a-doKcn of Uia limo eln.ss cliiiinicvM. I'it1aii cents iu vested in one of tiio lead chimneys W money well spent, even though it injures the trade" In the climipr kind, which 11 nuM assuredly onirht to, and doubtless will. Stick a pin there, and rciuemlier It, 1 ho ii'iiuine lead lass chimneys may be bad at w holosaln or retail of GKO. W. lMTlllUDGr; t CO., 2 tf Tionosui, Ta. ' WATERS' CCNCEFtTO & ORCHESTRAL organ s " t v: i ' " i ? rvr iMntfie. 1 1t COH i n ni n i nt tai.N. 'in ti.sTei's.ii.tii'iit -i.. r lHceil In mi- llr v--.;..' 1 . j. I; II n i Ary itrr jiniluenl liy U'virn S4f nl reeila, pim I iiltHrl' 'ilc.ilt'' tilt' . it i, m ItlONT Kilrl-rV. ..." I K.IHTinUllMIIWI'lii 1A H ' C 11 1 ll"' -lUl l'l'A'l'l' auk, II I 11 A.l VOITK it SI l' UK. 'Ilirvn llrinin a tht best nmrto m I mIk-i! sinlua. WATERS' NEW SCALE , PIANOS. r ui.l I I ii r i alnaliar lone. mh nil in il i- r n ImpraTrmruii. tnul ar. th' lrt I'lllllOM llinilv. 'I'liel rirnni .nt I'Ihiiiis nrr wsrrnuiiHl ft O ynrs. 1'rlci'" rxfreuvlr lw far rniti r pnrl rnsli, an.i bulnitr m ntonllily h qmirlrrlir in itiisa - fecr.Mitt-liflllfl InHCriimenls tlikcn rt rirliiini(ii. ; tl I. A I' I 111 I K. J!l-'. VI'N' to II. 'I U A III. A(IICSi1' AIV'I t:i , crtrf llf ami Conner In ia. V. K ami rnnnna. A Isrfedli Count .'0 7mrKrnt1Mtn.T9,l'hHrrhrM.1cl'Oll, 110. m, tU. II I I y1KMVl CATAUmtCKS HAIUiO. IIOIIAI K Wl'I I IIH 4c SOrl, 41 UroMiiwar suM H Mvryur HI K. To Testimonials of Wators'Pianoswii Organs. "Waters' ConeerU. l'arlor f Orpan pos tosses a beaMlil'ul aud peculiarly soft ton. Tho Concerto Slop 1m, without ,'doubt,. the best ever p!;cd III any oritan. It la pro duced by an extra set of reeds, peculiarly voiced, 'from which tho elleet is most charming, and its imitation of the hWxan voice Is superb. For sweetnes of tone and orchestral effects it lias ,no cimal." a., j.j not a. 'The Concerto l'arlor OrKads""some thliiK entirely new ; it ls;a bcautil'ulfvarlor ornniiient, possesses a sweet and power ful tone is a most commendable inven tion snd holds a hi'h place In puhlio sa vor." A. 1'. vcmu,t VWr. Am Okciifstha in tiik rAnLon. The orchestral orpiin is the name of a new reed orvcan recently announced by Horace Wa ters A Son. The instrument takes this name from its recently invented orches tral ntp. Tho voieiiiK of this is peculiar, produeinir tho elVei't o! a full sweet con tralto voice. Its tincsl ell'cct is produced when the steps are drawn, o that an or che .tial cllect i.u Ivon, The case is unique and makes a lianjsomn iliticle of furni ture." A. 1', Vun. 7 X- - Tho Waters Pianos aro known as amotiK tho very best.- We are enabled tu speak of thpsc instruments witli conlidonci, from personal knowledge. X. J'. Eiwitjiliat, --1 V Dr. J. lValkcr's Culiioriiiii Vl ffJ.Tr IMitt'rs mo a purely Tesetnbla preparation, iiinilo cbieily from tlio n.t tivo lierbs found on tlio lower raii(,'e ot, tl:o Siori! Ncv.nl:i nioutitaitis of Ciilifor- nla, tlio medicinal prnertic8 of wliich aro cxtractod thoicfiom v ithotit tlio nsu of Alcoliol. Tho question is almost daily asked, "What is tlio cattso of the unparalleled iwrccsa of Vinegak Hit TKitst" Our answer is, that they rpinnv tlio causo of disenso, and tlio patient re covers bis health. They mo tlio great blood purifier and a lilo-giving principle, a perfect Henovator and InviKorator of tho Bystom. Never beforo in tho history of the world has a medicine teen compounded posHCRRiii! tho roinaikalile qualities of Vinkoak Uittkrs in licalinu tho tick of cvory discaso man in huir to. They are a gentle Puriiatiro as well as a Tmiie. rolicviuK Conirosiinu or Iulluiuniaiiim uf the l.iver aud Visceiul Organs iu liilioua llisoases The iiropprlles of Tn. Wai.kik's Vixkoar lilTrrits are Aperient, Iliarlioretie, Carminatiro, Kutritioud, Laxative, lliuretia. Sedative, Counter lnitant Kudorilic, Altera tive, aud Auti-liilious. n. II. MrDOSALI) it; CO.. Pnirrnt nnilOm. Airt 8nn hViinciann. C'aTtramtn. sn.1 c,,r. ef H'H.l.iiit'in and Cliurllun St.. N. Y. Sold by all Oruiml.la mill UraUn. rOTSFOfrSALEl IX TIIK BOROUGH OF TIONESTA. Apply to GEO. O. SICKLE?, 7!, Nassau St., New York City.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers