I .' AM ERIC A Pi NBURY 0 H. B. MASSES, EDITOR AND PllOPHIETOR. ' OFFICE, MARKET STREET, OPPOSITE THE POST OFFICE. 1 jramfla ilctospapct--Dc)0tc5 to Uolftfcs, aftcrnturc, moralttflt JFowfow .to Domestic iJUHis, Scfri.cc ant 'the arts, aurfculture, iHarbets, amusements, c TilfiW SEUIKS VOL. 5, NO. 8. SUNHUUY, NOItTIIUMBKKLAM) COUNTY, PA., SATUUDAY, MAY 15. 1833. oi.d suuiub vol. i, u. TERMS OF THE AMERICAN. THE AMKRICAN ii published everv ftiturdnv nt TWO DOLLARS per iminn to hs paid half yearly in advance. No Mijer diacontiuued until all urrearugM are paid. All communications or letters on business rrlnting to the office, to iuaure atlciition, niuat lie POST PAIU. TO CLUBS. Three copies to one address, Sli (HI veii D Da luiKi Fiiteen Do o so IK) Five dollars In advance will pay fot three yaur'a sub scription to the American. One Bourne of 16 linen, 3 times, f I (III Even- aulaeaiiFiil insertion, S.i One Biiunre, a months, 3iki Si i months, 5m tu year, Hki Dullness Carda or Five liuea, per annum, 3vu Merchants and others, advertising ly the year, with the privilege of Inserting different advertisements weekly. 1000 l" Larger Advertisements, as per agreement. ATTORNEY AT LAW, EUNDUBY, PA. 0 uaincss attended to in the Counties of Nor thumberland, Union, Lycoming and Columbia, liefer tot P. & A. Rovoudt, Lower & Barron, Soinem & Snndgrass, Vhilail. Reynolds, McFarland At Co., Spcring, Good A; Co., JAMES J. NAILLE, Attorney and Counsellor at law, STJNBURY, PA. "VILI. attend faithfully and promptly to oil professional business, in Northumberland and Union counties. Ho is familiar with the German Innguiige. OFFICE :- Opposite the "Lawrence House," few doors from the Court House. unhury, Aug. 16, 1851. ly. (HARRISBURQ STEAM WOOD TURNING AND SCROLL SAWING SHOP. Wood Turning in all its liranrhca, in city style and at city prices. Kvcry variety of Cabinet and CurjirutiT work either on hand or turned to order. Bed Posts, Uatusters, Rosctts, Slut and Quar ter Mouldings, Table Legs, Newell Foals, Pat terns, Awning Posts, Wagon Hubs, Columns, Round or Octagon Chisel Handles. oVc. ITT This shop is in STRAWBERRY AL LEY, near Third Street, and ns wc intend to jileasc all our customers who want good work done, it is hoped that all the trade wil' give us a call. HT Ten-Pina and Ten-Pin Balls niado to or der or returned. The attention of Cabinet Makers and Carpen ters is culled to our new stvle. of TWlsT MOULDINGS. Printer's Rigid at 1 per 100 feet. W. O. HICKOK. February 7, 1852 ly. HARDWARE, CUTLERY AND GUNS' 'os. 31 If 33 Market Street, PHILADELPHIA. THE subscribers would call the attention of buyers to their stock of Hardware, consisting of Tablo and Pocket Knives. Guns, Chains, Locks, Hollow arc, &c. &c. We would rceom mend to all, our Endless Chain Pumps, new article now gelling into general use which we can furnish complete at about one half the price paid for the old style Pumps, also a new ar ticle of JnmiM race loor Ijit kv each Luck suited either for right or left hand doors, with mineral or white knobs. ' Our stock of GlIllS is large and well select ed, comprising single and double barrels, F.nglish and German inake. All goods can las returned if not found to 1 as represented. Country mer chants would do well to call on us before pur chasing elsewhere. Wheelwrights and carriage makers supplied with goods suited to their business, by calling on W. H. & (i. W. ALLEN, No. 31 & 33 Market Street, Philadelphia. February, 81, 1852. 6mo. VM. McCARTY, Bookseller, nimunriv, si xih ry. ia. A8 just received and for sale, Purdons Di jS i gPat of the laws of Pennsylvania, edition of 1851, price, only S6,00. Judge Reads edition of Blackstoncs Cnmmeii taries, in 3 vols. 8 vo. formerly sold at SI 0,00, nd now pfferad (in fresh binding) at the low price of 80,00. A Treatise on the laws of Pennsylvania re specting the estates of lieccdents, by Thomas F. Gordon, price only $1,00. Kossuth and the Hungarian war: comprising a complete history of the late struggle for freedom of that country, with notices of the leading chiefs and statesmen, who distinguished themselves in council and in tho field, containing 2SS pages of interesting matter with authentic portraits. Kossuth's address to the people of the United States, with a portrait, printed on broadcast, and put on rollers after the manner of maps, price only 50 cents. Washington's farewell address, uniform style with the above. February, 21, 1S52.U. SPRING MILLINERY GO 0E S JOHN STONE ($ SONS, IMI'ORTKKS AND DKALKIttt IN FRENCH MILLINERY GOODS, No. 45 South Second Street, Philadelphia. A RE now prepared to offer to their customers L and tho trade a large and wall selected as- urtment of ikw. Ribbons &. Millinery fJoooX Confining themselves eiclusively to this branch if the trade, and Im)iortiiig the larger part of heir stock, enables them to offer an assortment insurpassed in client and variety,, whilst will tie old at the lowest prices and on the most favor hie terms. March 13, 1852. Smo. Alden's Condensed Reports of Penna. JUST Publislifd, snd for sale by the suhscri her the Sttoiul Volant of Alden's Cou- snsed Pennsylvania Reports, containing the st three volumes of Yentes' Reports, and two st volumes of Biuuey's Reports. The lirst vol ute of Alden, containing Dallas' Reports, 4 vol nes i and Yeates' Reports, volume 1, is also on ml. and for sale. The above two volumes are anplete within themselves, and contain all of . . . , i n ..e v... Silas Kepons, voiumea, ami an ui r" joorU, 4 volumes, besides the two first volumes II : It t. Tim lliir.l iMtlmiiA ill rmiilv i will he put to press immudiutcly. ,. H. U. MASSE R, Agent gunbury, Aug. 16, 1851. froming Mutual Insurance Company, R. J. B. MA88ER is the local agent for the ' above Insurance Company, in Northumlier Jfounty, and is at all times ready to effect usances against pre on real or personal pro- tyl or renewing policies for the same, (isnbury, April S6, 1851. tf. if Boureu's celebrated ink, and also Con tea Ins. lor sale, wnoiesaie ana reuui ny rcubef 18, 1850. H- I) MA8SER. SELECT POETRY. A COURTING SONG. BY MISS LISLIE. Tito parlors bolh ard occupied, and every other spot, By couples who n-cotirling seem anil yet perhaps Ihey're not ; There's some that court on taborcls, placed lovingly together, And lovingly they whisper low of fashion or the weather ; Some couit within t lie outer porch, nml some upon the stairs, And many court on ottomans, and very few on chairs. And openly, without disguise, is all this court ing dune, No mallei whether on it shines the gas light or the sun ; And so desirous nfe they still the stale of things to prove, The more that visitors come in, the more they will nut move ; But there they sit and persevere, in spile of hint and glance, And people that on business come, have very Intle chance. And some court nt the checker-board while olheis court at chess, (Though chess-playeis cannot be in love so much as they profess.) There tire some that at backgammon court, half hid behind a column, And some would even court nt whist, wore not the game so solemn. There are some that promenade, as if they never meant to stop, And some that think it policy to institute a Imp. This conning of the young folks is a pretty sight to see, But the cunning of the married ones hud bet ter never be ; Success to nil whose hearts are fixed on ob jects ritiht and true ; We wish, with ihem, that they could make a shorter courtship do ; I'm always glad when any friend invites me out In tea. For iis's very dull to stay a', home, wilh no one courling iw. 3. Select Ctalc. PIERRE PIT0IS, THE DESERTER. TRANSLATED FliOM THE FRENCH. In the year 1S09, Pierre Pilois was ser geant in the 12th regiment of the line, then quartered in Strasburg. He was a na tive of that half-savage, half-civilized part of Uurgundy, known under the name oi Morvan ; and his comrades ever spoke or him as "a tough customer." Always the first and last to fire, he had the reputation of liking but two things in the world the smell ol powder and the whistling ot bul lets. Now, one day our friend took it in'o his head to address a letter to his Colonel, in which he applied for leave of absence to go and see his aged mother, who was dan gerously ill. lie added that his father be ing seventy-eight years of age, and suffer ing under a paralytic affection, could not be of any use in nurse-tending the poor woman, and he pledged himself to return as soon as the health of his mother should be restored. 1'ieire Pitois submitted. A fortnight elapsed ; and then a second letter was re ceived by the Colonel, in which Pierre in formed him that his mother had died with out the consolation of giving her last bless ing to her only child, and in which he again solicited leave of absence, saying that "he could not state his reason for this request it was a family secret" but ear nestly imploring the Colonel not to deny him this favor. Pierre's second letter was as little suc cessful as the first. The poor fellow's Cap tain merely said ."Pierre, the Colonel has received your letter; he is sorry for the death of your old mother, but he cannot grant the leave of absence you require, as the regiment leaves Strasburg to-morrow." "Ah! The regiment leaves Strasburg; and for what place may I ask you" said Pierre. "For Austria replied the officer. "Yre are to see Vienna, my brave Pitois j we are to fight the Austrians. Is not that good news for you 1 You will be in your cle ment, my fine fellow. Pierre Pitois made no reply ; he seemed lost in deep thought. The Captain caught his hand, and shaking it heartily he said : "Why do you not speak, man! Are you deal to-day 1 I am telling that, in less than a week, you are to have the pleasure ol a si-t-lo with the Austrians, and you have not one word of (hanks for the good news; nay, I verily believe you have nof even heard me." 'Indeed, Captain, I have heard every word, and 1 thank you with all my heart, lor your news, which 1 consider very good." "I thought you would," said the officer. "But, Captain, is there no chance ot ob taining the leave of absence?" "Are you mad?" was the reply. "Leave of absence the very day before taking the held !" "I never thought of that," said Pierre. "We are on the point of taking the field, and at such a time I suppose leave is never given ?" "It is never even asked." "It is quite right it is never even ask ed. It would have the appearance of cow- ardice. Well, then, I will not press it any more; I will try and get on without it." "And you will do well," replied the Captain. The next day the twelfth regiment en tered Germany and the next Pierre Pitois deserted ! Three mouths after, when the twelfth regiment, having reaped in the field of bat tle an abundant harvest ol glory, was ma king its triumphal entry into Strasburg, Pi erre Pitois was ignomiuiously dragged back to his corps by a brigade of gens d'armes. A court martial is immediately called. Pierre Pitois is accused of having deserted at that very moment when his regiment was to meet the enemy face to face. The court presented a singular spectacle. On the one side stood forth the accuser, who cried : "Pierre Pitois, you, one of the bravest men in the army j you on whose breast the star of honor yet gliders; you, who never incurred either punishment or even censure from your officers; you could not have quitted your regiment quitted it al most on the eve of battle without some powerful motive to impel youi This mo tive the court demands of you : for it would gladly have it in its power if not to ac quit you, which it ought not, perhaps, ei ther to do or to desire at least to recom mend you to the Emperor's mercy." On the other side stood the accused, who answered : "I have deserted without any reason, without any motive ;. if it were to do again, I would do it again. I deserve death pass sentence." And then came some witnesses who deposed "Pierre Pilois is a deserter. We know it is a fact, but we do not believe it." And others averred "Pierre Pitois is mad ; the court cannot condemn a madman. He miiit be senten ced, then, not to death, but to the lunatic asylum." This alternative had very nearly been adopted, for there was not one person in the court who did not consider the deser tion of Pierre Pitois as one of those singu lar occurrences beyond the range of human possibilities, which every one is forced to admit as a fact, no one can account for, or comprehend. The accused, however, plead ed guilty most positively, and was most pertinacious in his demand lor the just pen ally of the law to be inflicted on him. He so boldly and fearlessly avowed his crime, continually repeating that he did not regret it, that at length his firmness assumed the character of a bravado, and left no room for clemency. Sentence of death was there fore pronounced. Pierre Pitois heard his sentence read with the utmost unflinching gaze. They warmly urged him to plead for mercy, but he refused. As every one guessed that at the bottom ol this affair there was some strange mystery, it was determined that the execution of Pieire should be delayed. He was carried back to the military pris on, and it was announced to him that, as a mark of special favor, he had three days given him to press for pardon. He shrug ged his shoulders and made no reply. In the middle of that night on which was to dawn the day fixed for the execu tion, the door of Pierre's dungeon turned softly on its hinges, and a subaltern officer advanced to the side of the camp-bed in winch the condemned was tranquilly sleeping, and after gazing on him some time in silence, awoke him. Pierre opened his eyes, and staring about him, said : "The hour, then, is at last come." "No, Pierre," replied the officer, "it is not yet the hour, but it will soon come." "And what do you want with me until then?" "Dost thou not know me, Pierre? No matter 1 know the well. I saw thee at Austerlitz and bravely didst thou bear thyself. From that day, Pierre,! have had for thee a regard no less warm than sin cere. Yesterday, on my arrival at htras- g, I learned thy crime and condemna tion. I have prevailed on the gaoler, who is a relation of mine, to allow me to see thee. And now that I have come, I would ay to thee Pierre, it is often a sad thought for a man about to die (hat thee has not a friend near him to whom he might open his heart, and intrust with some sacred coin mission to discharge when he should be no more. If thou wilt accept me, 1 will be to thee that friend." "I thank you, comrade," replied Pierre. "Why ! hast thou nothing to say to me ?" "Nothing." "What! not one word of adieu to thy sweetheart? to thy sister?" "A sweetheart? a sister? I never had either." "To thy father?" "lie is no more. Two years ago he died in mv arms." "Thy mother, then ?" "My mother!" and Pierre, whose voice suddenly and totally changed, repeated "rny niullier! Ah, comrade do not utter that name, for I have never heard that name I have never said it my heart without feeling melted like a child ; and even now, methinks, it I weie to speak her " "What then?" "The tears would come and tears would not become a man. . Tears!" con. tinned he "tears when I have but a few hours to live! Ah! there would not be much courage in that !" "Thou art too stern, comrade. I think I have, thank God, as much courage as other people : and yet I would not be ashamed ol weeping, were I to speak of my mother." "Are you serious ?" said Pierre, eagerly seizing the officer's hand. "You, a man and a soldier, and not ashamed to weep ?" " nen speaking ol my mother? Cer tainly not. My mother is so good, so kind; she loves me much ; and 1, too, love her aeariy." "She loves you I and you love her? Oh ! then I may, indeed, tell you all. My nean is mil it must have vent ; and. how ever strange my feelings appear to you, I am sure you will not laugh at them. Lis ten, then j for what you said just now is quite true. A man is glad, when about to die, to have a heart into which be can pour out his own. Will you listeu to roe and not laugh at me ?' "Surely I will listen, Pierre. A dying and greeting shouts of admiring love follow man must ever excite compassionate sym- cd him till he w as out of sight. pathv." "You must not know that since I came into this world, I never loved but one be ing that being was my mother. Dut her I loved as none loved with all that was in me of life and energy. While yet a babe, I used to read her eyes, as she read mine ; I guessed her thoughts and she knew mine. Site was the heart of my heart, and I the heart of hers. I have never had either sweetheart or wile ; I never had a friend ; my mother was everything to me. Well, I was summoned to take up arms; and when they told me I must leave her, in a paroxysm of despair I declared they might drag me limb from limb, but never should they take me from her alive. With one word spoken in her holy fortitude and strong courage, she changed my whole purpose-" " 'Pierre,' sa'nl she, 'you must go it is my wish-' "I knelt before her, and I said, I will go, mother.' " 'Pierre,' she adeed, thou hast been a good son, and I thank God for it ; but the duties ol a son are not the only ones a man has to fulfil. Every citizen owes himself to his country ; it calls thee obey ! Thou art going to be a soldier. From this mo ment thy life is no longer thine own ; it is thy country's. If its interest demand il, lay it down cheerfully. II it be the will of God that thou shotild'st die oefore me, I should weep for thee my heart's tears; but 1 would say, "He gave, and He has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord !" Go, now, and if thou love thy mother, do thy duly.' Oil! how precious those holy words ! I have never forgotten them. 'Do thy duly,' she said. Now, the duty of a soldier was always, and in all things, to obey ; and in all things and always, I obey ed. It was to go straight forward to face dangT without hesitation, without second thought. Those who saw me thus, as it were to seek to meet the bullets, said, 'There is a brave fellow !' They might have better said there is a man who loves his mother !' "One day later brought me the tidings she was ill my own poor mother! I long ed to go to her. I asked for leave of ab sence ; it was not granted. I remembered her last words 'If thou love thy mother, do thy duty.' 1 submitted. A little while alter 1 heard that she was dead. Oh ! then my senses forsook me ; at any risk I deter mined to trawl to the country. Whence proceeded so ardent, so impetuous a desire to see once more a place where my mother had just died ? I will tell you : and as you have a mother, and as she loves you, and as you love her, you will understand nie. "We peasants of Morvan are a simple and confiding race. We have not recieved the instruction, nor attained the knowledge that they have in the cities; but we have our beliefs, which the townlblks call super stitions. What matters the name? Be they superstitions or beliefs, we hive them, and clever would be the man that could uproot them. Now, one of Ihese beliefs to which we cling most, is that which attri butes to the first flower that blows in the grave mould, such a virtue that he who gathers it is certain of never forgetting the dead, and of never being forgotten by them. Belief how dear how sweet ! With it, death has no terrors for death, without forgetting, or being forgotten, is but a sweet sleep, but calm repose alter a long toil. That flower I panted to see it bud I panted to gather it! I abandoned my post and went on my way. After ten days of long and weary march, I reached my mo ther's grave. The earth seemed yet fresh no flower appeared. I waited. Six weeks elapsed and then one lovely morning I saw a little blue flower 'Forget me not.' As I plucked it, 1 shed glad tears, for me thought that little flower was my mother's sou!; that she had felt that I was near, and that under the form of that flower had given herself, to my heart once more. "There was nothing now lo detain me in the country, for my father had soon followed my mother to the grave, and I had plucked my precious flower; what more did I want? I remembered my mother's charge do thy duty ! I sought the gens d'armes, and I said, 1 am a deserter arrest me.' And now I am to die : anil if, as you assu red nie, 1 have in you a Iriend, 1 die with out regrnt, for you will do me the only service I require. The flower which at the risk ol my life, 1 plucked from the grave, is here, in a little case next to my heart. Promise me that you will see that they do not take it from me. It is the link which unites me to my mother j and il 1 thought it would be broken oh ! 1 should not have the courage to die Say, do you promise to do what I ask of you V "I promise," said the ollicer. "Your hand, that I may press it to my heart. You are very kind to me; and if the Almighty God were in his omnipotence to give me my lile a secoud time, I would uevpte it to you." The friends narted. The next day had dawned. They arri ved at the place of execution; and already had the fatal sentence been read, when the low murmer that-ran through the tanks. changed into almost deafening shouts The Emperor! the Emperor ! Long live the Emperor ,"' He appeared, dismounted from his horse and then, with his short, Quick step, he walked up to the condemned. 'Pierre,M said he to him. Pierre gazed at bim, and made an effort to speak, but a sudden stupor seemed to overwhelm him "Pierre," continued the Emperor, "remem ber your own words of last night. God gives thee life a second time ; devote it not tr me. but to France ! Shu too. is kind I mother ! Love her as thou didst thy first I tame own," lie then turned to depart Some years alter this, a CBptain oi tne Old Guards fell mortally wounded on the field of Waterloo. Amid the din of battle, he was heard to shout in his death pangs : , "Long live the Fmperor! France forever! My mother! My mother!" "It was Pierre Pitois ! WHY PEOPLE DRIMK. Mr. A. drinks because his doctor has re commended him In take a little. Mr. li. been use his doctor niders him not, and he hates quackery. Mr. C. lakes ft drop because he is wet. Mr. D. because he's dry. Mr. E. because he feels something rising in his stomach. Mr. F. because he feels a kind of sinking in his stomach Mr. G. because he's going to see a friend off to Oregon. Mr. II. because he's got a friend come home from California. Mr. I. because he's so hot. Mr. K. because he's so cold. Mr. L. because he's got a pain in his head. Mr. M, because he's got a pain in his side. Mr. N because he's got a pain in his back. Mr. O. because he's got a pain in his chest. Mr. P. because he's got a pain all over him. Mr. Q. because he feels light and happy. Mr. R. because he feels heavy and miserable. Mr. S. because he's married. Mr. T. because he isn't, Mr. V. because he likes to sec his friends around him. Mr. W. because he's gut no friends and enjoys .1 glass by himself. Mr. X. because his undo left him a leg acy. Air. Y. because his aunt cut him off with out a shilling. Mr. Z. (we should be happy to inform our readers what Mr. Z 's reasons are for drinking, but on putting the question to him, he was found to be too drunk to answer.) MAC HIKE POETRY. BY A. F. BANKS. Best of all the fruit thai grows, Potatoes ! Without thee, mutton dryly goes, Potatoes : How lovely "mashed" they does repose, Potatoes '. Roasted ! vehat incense thrills the nose, Potatoes ! Whether in "jackets boiled," or cut in slice, And fhnved in frying pan and "done up nice." Or rooked (they can be in a hundred ways,) To tempt the enraptured palate, glad the uu.e. They is the very loveliest fruit 1 knows, l olatues : Fato grant 1 find when heavenward I goes, Potatoes ! Irish Wit. A couple of I:ishmen, who had not been long in. this country, met at an inn and called for dinner. As it so happen ed, (here was a dish of horse raudish grated for dinner. Put, thinking it was something to be eaten wilh a spoon put a large spoon ful into his mouth Tho tears immediately filled his eyes anil rolled down his cheeks. His companion saw it, and said : Pat, what is the matter !' 'I was thinking of my poor father that wus hanged m swate Ireland,' answeted Pat. But Jemmy snsn filled his mouth with the same, and as the tears gushed from his eyes also, Put says : What's the matter what has happened lo ye V 'Ah !' says Jemmy, 'I was just thinking what a piiy it was that you were noi hanged when your fathei was.' Qceen UiBEi.iA or Spain has given lo the image of Our Lady of Aloe ha an imperial crown of line gold set wilh diamonds and Brazilian lopa.es, ihe whole worlh $750,000; to the imago of the Saviour, at the same shrine, a similar crown, though of course smaller in size; and two boquets, of the size of a man's band, of pure diamonds. For these things, Ihe Queen paid the jeweller Lovia the enormous sum of $1,500,000. The statues have been adorned with them and placed on an ultar where the publio can see them; four soldiers constantly keep guard before the shrine. Etiqukttf.. The National Intelligencer ha resumed ils hints on etiquette, and the Telegraph makes ihe following deductions A letter must be answered, unless you wish to intimate to the writer that he or his subject is beneath your notice. n. viau must U0 iisiuiiicu in in, inumici, even though no intimacy is intended. A smiling countenance is pleasant, but ex cess of laughter should . be avoided, epe cially when it is possible for any one lo sup pose himself derided by it. Whispering in company is always offen sive, and often for Ihe reason that persons present suspect that they are ihe subjects of it A Dutchman, who had a brother hung in this country, wrote to bis relatives, inform' itig them that his broihei had been placed in a publio situation by this government, and at the time of his death had several thousand people, including the Sheriff and Grand Jury, under bins. Scasrs. THE MAN WHO KNEW EVERYTHING. A mighty knowing man was Caleb Page, who kept tho grocery at the fork of the load near Woodchnck Cteek, Scragg Hollow, in the village of Hornville. No occurrence had ever taken place, of all the particular of which Caleb did not possess a thorough knowledge in the minutest detail. All mat ters in the perspective were anticipated, dis cussed and arranged, and satisfactorily dis posed of by Caleb long before they look place. If a neighbor rushed in'.o a store to communicate what he believed to be a very recent piece of news, he would have the conceit taken out of him by being told by Caleb that he "had heard it a week ago."--Events of the past, present, and future, were all the same to him ; his ubiquitous know ledge grasped and covered them all to him they were all 'stale news." A small bet was made one evening, be tween Si Stevens and Joe Sttibbiris. Si bel that Joe couldn't nonplus Caleb wilh any piece of intelligence, real or imaginary. Joe "look all such bets as that." Tne fol lowing evening, Si and Joe, accompanied by two or ihree more of tho "boys" of the vil lase, who were to "help the thing along," and "fill in," proceeded to Caleb's store. After being comfortably seated here and there, on barrels, boxes, &c, Si opened the evening's amusements by asking, in a man ner, that indicated he was continuing a con versation commenced before they entered the store : "So you say, Joe, that they caught him last night ?" "Yes sir, about seventeen minutes past eight." "Well, Jon, how far up tho creek is it ?" '-On a careful consideration, I should say it was about three miles, or three miles and a quarter, or perhaps a half up the said cieek." Caleb, who had not lost a word of the conversation, dropped his sugar scoop with astonishment, and opened his ears, for the boys were talking about a matter in which he was not "posted up." The conversation continued : "Well," says Si, "ihat couldn't been far from Deacon Hunt's ?" "Jest so," answered Joe, "il was about eighty rods from Deacon Hunt's hug pen, in a slanchwise direction." "Did you hear, Joe," asked Si, wilh a face as solid as two gravestones ; "I hearn tell that they gut well nigh upon sixty bar'ls of He." The wngs observed that Caleb was get- ting exceedingly uneasy, and then "piled it on." "Well, Silas, the insect was about eighty- two feet long, and twenty-eight feet, odd inches, broad, and very thick in propor tion." "I thought, Joe, that there was two on em." '-Thai's a fact, there was a pair of 'em. but they only caught the he one." At this point in tho dialogue, Caleb be. came so desperately excited that he could contain himself no longer, and snappishly demanded to know "whal'u thunder they were talking about ?" "Why," said Joe, wilh well-feigned nslon. ishment, "don't you know about Iheir catch, ing that are" " That are what ? " peevishly snarled Caleb. "Why, thai are whale !" seriously answer ed Joe Slebbins. "A whale !" exclaimed the bewildered Caleb, ,:have they caught a whale tip the creek !" 'They haven't caught anything else,' said the imperturbable Joe. "And how much ila did they get ?" in quired Caleb, as he recovered his wits. "Ninety-two bur'ls," replied, Joe, for getting the amount he had previously men. tioned. "Well," said Caleb, with slow delibeia- tion and a satisfied look, " am glad they caught tin u-hale, for 1 heard they were arter him ."' Joe paid the bet. Bojfon Carpet lia. Tailors Defenocu. A tailor possesses the qualities of nine men combined in one, as will be seen by the following observa tion : 1st. As an economist, ho cuts his coat ac cording to his cloth. Sd. As a gardener, he is careful of cab bage. 3d. As a sailor, he sheers off, whenever it is proper. 4 ih. As a play-aotor he often brandishes a bare bodkin. 5lh. As a lawyer he attends many suits. 6th. As an executioner, he piovides sus penders aud gallowses for many persona. 7tb. As a cook, he u generally furnished with a warm goose. 8th. As a ohurifl's officer, ho does much sponging. 9lh. As s rational and scriptural divine, his great aim is to form good habits lor tho benefit of himself. ' Mother, I would not be turpiiscd if our Susan gets choked some day " "Why, my son 1" "Because her beau twisted bis aims around her neck, and if she had not kissed him to let her go, he would have stiaugled her the other night." A militia officer being told lately by a phrenologist that bo had the organ of locali ty very large, innocently replied, "Very likely ; I was fifteen yeais a Colonel iu the i local militia.' " A SERMON THAT DID NOT StIT. Mrs. II was a very religious woman, and perhaps came as near worshipping Mr, N 1 her favorite minister, ns some of onr big bugs do Kossuth, the Hungarian ; but be that as it may, she was continually hammer inir Aaron, a shrewd lad of some sixteen years of age, to pestnr the old lady, and hear her scold, would occasionally speak rather liyhtly f Mr. N , her minister. Happening in at the house of Mrs. H one day, ihe old lady began, as usual, to chastise him, and Aaron, thinking she put on rather loo hard, after hearing her through, said : "I am as good as Mr. N , and can preach as welli" "Preach !" said the old lady, "you don't know one single word in tho bible." " Well, give me a text," said Aaron, "and see if I can't preach." "You don't know anything nbout ihe hi- ble, said Mr. II , "if you do, you may lake any text you please." " Well, " said Aaron, "a virtuous woman is without a price ain't thai bible 1" in yuur "Yes," said Mrs. H , "and it show. that women are belter than men, for Ihe bi. ble don't say that a virtuous man is without a price." "Well, we will see nbout that," said Aaron, and, nfler dividing Ihe subject into two or three heads, commenced as follows : l:The scarcily of an article, in nil cases, governs the price, but when an article can lint be found, it cannot be bad at ar.y price, and for that reason it is 'without a price.' Now, if there were any virtuous women, there would be a price and a high one, too, by reason of the scarcity, but as there is none " At this stage of the discourse, the old lady seized the broom "Aaron." said she, "you are an impudent brat, and if you don't clear out, I will pelt you with the broom handle." Aaron made tracks into Ihe road, finishing his sentence "they are without piice," as he went through Ihe door, which the old 'ady closed after him wilh considerable force. Aaron now started for home, saying lo himself as he went along, "I guess the old woman will riot chastise me again very soon," and, as it proved, he was not mista ken in his prediction. The following prophecy is from a rare old printed book : When Legislators bold invade The laws which they themselves have made ; When the parson 'gainst the Bible preaches, And modi-st virgins wear Ihe breeches; When women scorn domeslin cares And bold intrude on men's alTuirs, Aspiring wilh mistaken pride The war-horse of the world to ride, Then will wild chaos come again, Aud Eve wilh her old serpeul reign, A second time will pay the price Of wit, losl by Paradise, The wot Id, tail foremost, will advance, Like freedom in degenerate France; By gi'inir backwards will come right, And men grow blind by too much light. Is an Umbrella Property ? Punch told the story some yeais ago, of a man who loaned an umbrella to a friend, a tradesman iu the street, on a wel, nasty day. Il was not returned, and on another wet, disagree, able day, he called tor it, but found his friend at ihe door going out with it iu his hand. ' I've come for my umbrella," exclaimed the leaner. "Cun'l help thai," exclaimed the borrow er, "duu'l you sue that I am just going out with it ?" "Well yes," replied the lender, nslon. ished at such outrageous impudence ; "yes, but but but what am I to do ?" "Do ?" replied the other, ns he ihrew tip the ton and walked off : "do ? Do as I did. I iorrou) 0(lfl,' Assignability or Land Warrants. In his interpretation of the act of Congiess of tJSth September, 1850, authorizing the issue of iioii-ussiguabia bounty laud warrants, (he Hun. A. II. H. Stuart. Secretary of Ihe Interior, decided that the soldier, afler locating his warrant, could not make a valid title to the land so located, until after Ihe issue of ibo patent. Ihe question has been submitted to Ihe Hun. llnfus Choale, whose view is, lhat the conveyance may be made afler ihe issue of Ihe warrant, and before Ihe issue of tho patent. The phrase iu the l uv "piior lo the issue" having reference lo the warrant, and not lo the patent. Transportation or Cattlf,0ii Tues. day, a train of cars, numbering forty-four, passed through Carlisle, freighted wilh 209 head of cattle, consigned to S. 11. Baker, of Philadelphia, by S. M. Baker, of Ohio. The entire train was drawn by the locomotive "Tiger," and contained an aggregate weight exclusive of cars, of 251,300 pounds be. ing an average of 1202 to each sierr. This train will be kept employed by Mr. Baker fot several weeks yet. Every woman was made for a mother, consequently babies are as necessary to iheir "peace of mind" as health- If you wish to look at melancholy and indigestion, look at an old maid. If vou wish to take a peep at sunshine, look in the face of a young mother." Dr. Young says that man and wife are like soul and body ; alwiys at varisuts aud yet loth to fill. 1
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers