Advertising Rates. We desire' It to bo distinctly understood that no advertisements will be Inserted In the column of Tn Olnnox Advocate that may be received from unknown parties or firms unless accompanied by the cash. The following are our only terras! ons sqUtRH ( JO LUCES), One ycarf each Insertion - 10 els- Blx months, each Insertion 15 CM- Three months, each Inscrtl6n ..... SO eta. Tjoss than threo months, first Insertion $lf each subsequent Insertion 25 cts. Local notices 10 cents per line. II. Vf MORT1IIMER, Publisher. jjOARDjS. - - Attorneys!. M. BAPSQEB, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW, BilStEISI,LlHlllBTO!l,Pi. B.alfcsUt.andColleellen Aency WinBaysnd Ball Rial KiUM. Convejanong-oeaiiy Llon. promptly ... VinlEE adU.ruun. . Not. 12. Physicians and Dentists. REJVIOVED. W. G. M. Selple, PLysiciaii & Surgeon, Has Removed his Office and Ktsldenee from SeeoBd St. to SOOTH Street.ln the bull.tlnK formerly occupied by A. J Uollbhkatkr, where- be will be pleased to see his friends J&nm! T OF riOB HUnKS 1 : from 6 to o'clock P. M. Mrch sl us3- -rn. W. W. UEUEIt, PHYSICIAN AND 8URQEON, MAIN STREET, PARRYVILLE, PA, May.be consulted In the English, of perrnan Language. March 21, 1883. VT7 A. DERIIAMER, M D., ' PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Special ttntlon pld to Chronic Diseases. Offlee: South Kast corner Irooand 2nd t..Le alshlon,r. April 3, 1875. 1ST, B.. BEBEK, M. D. TJ. S. Examining Surgeon, rBACTICINO PHYSICIAN and SOUQEoN. OtricE.' Bank Street, Reiieb's IlLOCK, Lehigh- k t0Maybe consttlted In tho German Language. Nov. 30, jQR. C W. BOWER, PHYSICIAN AND SUROEON. May be consulted In the Herman or English language. Otimch opposite Durllng's Drug store, BANK St., Leblghton. Pa. Jan. 13-yI W. A. Cortriglit, D.D.S., OFFICE : Opposite the "Broadway House," :3Viauoh Chunk, Pa. Patients have the benefit of the latest lm nrovements In mechanical appliances and . . . - . I. 1. of ..... ,.nnnt In nil . I, ru, lll 1 'inO UBBl luquiwus mi hd..v... .., .... ..B.... eases. NITROUS-OXIDE administered If tleslrec. if possible, person. resiuiuK uuwuo or oiauon uiiuuit, auuum u6vu.. by malt- JTl rniFOMAS KR9IERER. J. CONVEYANCER, AND GENERAL INSURANCE AGENT The following Companies are Represented: LEIIAft JN MD rUALFIRE, UKADIFiO MUTUAL FinC, WYOMING FIHK, 1 nniwuiri, W T.,,nn LIOIIKHI FirtlS. and the Tit AV, n.rn.Tw ...nTTllffNT 1 NRIIll ANOE. Also Pennsylvania aud Mutual Horse Thlel MareaZJ.H7J, Tllos, .KKMEllEIl. QARBON HOUSE, J. W. RAUDENBUSH, PROPRIETOR, IIahkSt., LtmioHTOK, Pa. The OAnnoN llorsu oirers first-class aceoro modatloBS to the Traveling public. Hoarding by the Day or Week, on Reasonable Terms. Oholco Cigars, Wines and Liquors always on hand. (IwkI Sheds and Stables, with atten tive Hostlers, attached. April 10-yl, p.lCKERTOS HOTEL. Midway between Mauch Chunk & Lchlghton LEOPOLD MEYER, PaorntkTOB, Packerton, Pcnn'a. This well known hotel Is admirably refitted, and has the best accommodations lor perman. ent and transient boarders. Excellent tables svnd tbe very best liquors. Also line stables attached. Sept. 10-yl. J-.vVlD EBDERT'S Livery & Sale Stables 1SA.NIC STRBBT.LKIIiailTON, Pa ' FAST TROTTING HORSES, ELEGANT CARRIAGES. And positively LOWER PRICES thau any other Livery iu tbe C'ojuly. Large ana handioine Carriages for Funeral Kjrposns anu weoumgs. vayiu uuaaui OV. 21. U71. J. W. RAUDENBUSH Respectfully announces to the public that he has opened a N11W LI VERY STAIir.K in cqanecUou with his hotel, and Is prepared to Funerals, Weaiiiiss or Business Tries on ibortrit notice nd tnoit liberal termi. ah orderi ln at the "Carbon House' will recelro prompt attention. Stable on North Street. usv tun uutvi vvuitiiwuus )tiiiuyi Tl I mmTITlfl ANDERSON fc SMITH. rA I Will liS Soltclmrs of U, S. and For- - emn i-atents, no. 700 7th Street, cor or G, opp, U S. Patent Office, Washington. I). O. rorrernondeuce solicit. ed. No charge for advice. No fee charged unless Patent Is allowed. References, Lewis Johnson & Co., Bankers, and Postmaster, Washington, D. C. Pamphlet of Instruc tions Iree. jane-tfe A CARD. To all who are suffering from the errors and Indiscretions o youth, nervous weakness, early decay, loss of manhood, lie, 1 will send a leeloe that will cure you, FKEB OF CHARGE. This great remedy was dlieov. ered by a missionary In South America. Send a self-addressed euveloiie to the Hv. Jomru T Umax. Station V, New York City. aug. li.-ly. H. V. MonxniMBB, Proprietor. INDEPENDENT" Live aild Let Live." 51.00 a Yenr if Paid in Advance. VOL. XL, No 23. t LEHIGHTON, CARBON COUNTY, PA., SATURDAY, APRIL 28, 1883. If not paid in advance, $1.25. Railroad Guide. &Reafling K R. Arrangement of Passenger Trains. NOVEMBER, 13th, 1882. Trains leave Allentown as follows : (Via Pibkiomik Railroad.) For Philadelphia at J.00. e.45. 11.10 a. ra.. and "3.10 p. m. SUNDAYS. For Phlladelphlaat t.OOa. m. and 3.35p.m. (Via East I'ehw Bnncn.) For Reading and HarrlsbuOg, 0.00, 8.40 a. m.. 12.15, 4.311, and B.oi p. m. Fer Lancaster and Columbia, t.00, 8,40 a, m., aad Su p. m. SUNDAYS. For Harrlsburg, and waypolnts, 9.05 p. m. Trains for Allentown leave as follows : (Via 1'KRKIOMKN RAILUOAD.) Leave Philadelphia. 7.40 a. m. and 1.00. 1.35, and 6.15 p. m. SUNDAYS. Leave Philadelphia. 8.00 a, m.. 1.15, and t:x p. m. (Via East Pehh. DnANon.) Leave Reading. 7.30, 10.15 a. m., 2.00, 3.55, and s 15 p. m. Leave llarrlsburg, 5.20, 7.60, 9.50 a. m, 1.45 and 4.00 P. m. Leave Lancaster, 7.30 a, m., 1.0U and f3.40 P.m") , leave voiuniuia,.oo a in.,i .v uu.ui.ui, tjTrom King Street Depot. SUNDAYS. Leave Reading, 7-30 a. m. Leave Harrlsburg, 5.20 a. m. Trains via "Pcrklomen Railroad" marked thus () run to and from Depot, Ninth and (Jrcen streets, Philadelphia, other trains to and from llroad street Depot. The "a.ou ana o. a. m. irains irom Alien, town, and the 1 35 and 5.15 p.m. train from Philadelphia, via Pcrklomen Railroad, have through cars to and from Philadelphia. J. E. WOOTTEN, General Manager, CO. HANCOCK, Uen'l Pass'r Ticket Agent. November Oth JOHNR.G.WEYSSER, PROPRIETOR OF THE West End Brewery? Matjch Chunk, Pa. Pnre Porter -and Laser Beer Delivered all over the State. October 8, 1881 yl A NEW AND ELEGANT LINE OF Clocks. Watches ai Jewelry Just Received, at HAGAMAN'S STORE, Bank St., LehigMon, SUITABLE FOR Holiday Presents, All of which Is being sold at such eztraordln. ary Low Prices that all can buy. Look for Yourselves ! ! Gold and;silver Watches from 5 00 to.lw 00 Gent's Chains " 12 to" 0 00 Ladles' Chains " 35 to t 00 Lockets " 1 00. to 20 00 Ring 3 to 12 00 Bracelets, Gents' and Ladles' Chains, Breast Tins, Ear Jewels, and a variety of other arti cles too numerous to mention,. Including SILVERWARE, SPECTACLES, &o. Please call and see for yourselves before buying elsewhere. dee2-r Central Carriage Works, Bank St., Lchigliton, Fa., Are prepared to Manufacture Carriages, Buggies, Sleighs, Spring Wagon, &c, Of every description, tn the most substantial manner, ana at Lowest uasn Prices. Repairing Promptly Attended to. TREXLER & KREIDLER, April 20, 1832 yl Proprietors. PENSIONS S&l?' Bounty, Back Pay, Discharges tor Deserters, etc.. procured, 14 year, experience. Address l-. hi. sites & uu., tn, r a Street. Washing. ton, D.C. Jan. o-iio I A M Claims a specialty, and WAR. LAIN I J HA'VTH. ADDITIONAL -rl 1 J HOMESTEAD OERTIFIOAT. ES and all kinds of LAND SCRIPT bouirht and sold. Large Stock, and Highest Prices paid. Do Jim want to sell or buyT If so, write to A. A. THOMAS, Attorney at Law, tva.ningion, u. u. jan.o.uc. -tr DROP IN AT THE f Carbon Advocate OFFICE FOR Cheap Printing ! J W YOUTH AND M1DD1B-AOF.O. Weald Ton bsre.tarrd lo HOUND irnl...J n j Send sumo aud von will ret ad. JHdllllUull , 1 celnae.led envelope. Addreas, i Frof. J, Y. EQ AN, Ogdensbarg N, Y. JulylTyt OS) g o X) yukmg 'M CD M 'O f) & & P S3 W S cd 3 5 CO y O sa cd fi No Patent No Pay. PATENTS. obtained for Inventors In the United States Canada and Europe, at reduced rates. With our principal ofBco located In Washington, directly opposite the United States Patent Office, wo are able to attend to all patent business with greater promptness nnd de spatch and at less cost than other patent at torneys who are at a dlstnnco from Wash ington, and who. have, therefore, to employ "associate attorneys." We make preliminary examinations nnd furnish opinions as to pa tentability, free of charge, and all who are Interested In new Inventions and patents are Invited to send for a copy ol our "Guldo for obtaining Patents," which Is sent free to any address, nnd contains complete Instruc tions how to obtain patents and other valua ble matter. We refer to tho German-American National Bank Washington, I). O. ; the" Royal Swedish. Norwegian and Danish Lega. tlnns. at Washington ; Hon. Jos. Casey, late Chief Justice U. S. Court of Claims; to tbe omcluls or the U. S. Patent Office, and to Senators and Members of Congress from every State. -Addresst LOUIS BAGGER fc CO., So llcltorsr Patents and Attorneys at Law, Le Droit Building, Washington. D. O. Miss AL VENI A GR AVER (Tormorly Mrs. Irs. 1 . I I STORE, from SOUTH Street, door to Dr. KeQer's Ulook, Bank Street, Leliig'htoii, and that she has Just received from the City a large and elegant assortment of the vcrv Latest Styles of Spring and Summer Comprising It ATS, BONNETS, PLUMES all Shades, FLOWERS, RIBBONS AND NOTIONS which she Is ottering to the ladles at prices fully as low as the same art lele can be bought fur In the cities. Call and examine. No trouble to show goods. Agent for the Bethlehem Steam Dyo Works. Remember, Miss ALVENIA GRAVER, Apni 2i, msmj Next to Rcber's Block, Bank St. Spring Annonneemeiit ! fcc, kc Our Young Ladles and Gentlemen will nnd It to their advantage to give him aeall before purchasing elsewhere, as tbeywlll And the BEST SELECTED STOCK In Town AT BOTTOM PRICES. mwwm Olil Post Office Bniiains, April II, ISSJ-ly nil Eev. Father Wilds' EXPERIENCE. Tho Rev. Z. V. tVIIds, well-known city missionary In New York, Anil brother of the lata eminent J lulgo Wlltls, of the Massachusetts Supremo Court, writes as follows t ' 78 A'. Mlh St., A'rir York, May 10, 1882. Msnm. .). C. Avnn It Co., Gentlemen ! Ijut winter I was troubled with n most uiicomfortablo Itching humor alfcctltig moru especially my limbs, which Itched so Intolerably at night, ami burned so Intense ly, that 1 could scarcely bear nny cluthlug over them. I was also a sulfurer from n severe catarrh nnd catarrhal cough; my nppetito was poor, and my system a good deal run down. Knowing the value of Avmi'fl S.uts.uwntl.t.A, by observation of tn.iuy other cases, nnd from personal use hi former years, I begun taking It for tho above-named dUordcrs. My nnpctlte im proved almost from the first iloic. After n short tlmo tho fevor and Itching were allayed, mid all signs of Irritation of the skin disappeared. My catarrh nnd cough were also cured by tho saino means, and my general heallli grentlv Improved, until it Is now excellent. I feel n hundred per cent stronger, and I attribute these results to the usa nf the SAUSAI-AUILLA, uhlch I recommend with nil coutidenco ns the best blood jiiedlclno ever devised. I took It in small doses three times a day, and used, in nil, less than tuo bottles. 1 place theso facts at your service, hoping their publication may do good. Yours respectfully, 2. P. WILDS." Tho above Instanco Is but one of the many constantly coming to our notice, which prove the perfect adaptability of Avtn's Saiisa t'AniLLA to the euro of all illsoascs arising from impure or Impoverished blood, aud a vcakened vitality. Ayer'sSarsaparilla ;leanses, enriches, and strengthens the blood, tluiulates the action of the stomach and oowcls, and thcroby enables the 8 stem to resist nnd ovcrcomo tho attacks of nil A'ctpii 'mii Diteastt, J!ritptton nf the Skin, alien nntism. Catarrh, Oentrtil DeUlltu, nnd nil llsordcrs resulting from poor or corrupted blood and a low state of tho system, I'nni'AiicD nr Dp. J. C.Ayer&Co., Lowell, Mass. iold by all Druggists; prlco SI, tlx bottles for ss. AYER'S CATHARTIC PILLS. Best Purgative Medicine iuro Constipation, Indigestion, Headache, and all Bilious Disorders. Sold everywhere, Alwuys reliable. A r3.1?'WrPia wanted,to sell Edison's Mus-iJ1-'1,' J- J leal Telephone and Edison's Instantaneous Piano and Organ Music. En close stamp for catalogue and terms. EDISON MUSIC CO., Philadelphia, Pa. dec. 24-m0. HAS BEEN PROVED Tho SUREST CUflB fcr KIDNEZY D8SEASEG. Does & lama h&elt a disordered urinal O indlcata that you are a victimP THEN LO u WOTHXElTATIJt use KIDKET-WOHTat tl oncotdriicalatarocoiTiinendit) and ltTnll speedily ovcrcoras tho diecaso and restore hcalUiy action to all thacrcoas. D D fi i tpct iiorcompuintapocTiuar and weakneases, KIE2EY-VOIiT Isujup paucd.aaltwlll act promptly and eaTely. I wuer u2Xt incontinence, retention 01 ttrine. brick dust o? row dcTWsita. and dull dra-;lns palno, all spoodily yiald tolt3 rix- Wehr & SisterJ respectfully announces to her friends and the ladies generally, that she has removed her Millinery & Notion into the new building next The undersigned calls the attention of his many friends and patrons to bis Large and Fashionable Stock of Spring' Goods, Consisting of BOOTS AND SHOES Of every description and Style In the. Market, Including a special line of Lady's Fine Shoes Also, a full line ef Umbrellas, Sun Shades, Hats. Caps, ww BAM Street, LEHIGHTON. A TRIBUTE TO AH OLD SIIOE. Adieu) adieul My poor old shoe! Whit comfort I have hud with y-out MyWe companion day by day, Yvou'vo cheered and soothed my weary way! A fond adieu, . 1 T My dear oM shoe! , , Mitet faithful friend I've found in youl AHke midst fair or wintry weather We've shared life's pilgrimage together. Now rent nnd. torn, And sadly worn, . Of every trace of beauty shorn; 'Tis with an honest, heartfelt sigh I feel that I must throw you by. A sad ndieut Toor worn-out shoel What sorry plights you kayo borne me through! And oh! It tears my tender heart To think that you and I must part. Once more adieul My faithful shoe! I ne'er shall find tho likes e' you, And I will bless your memory For all the good you've been to me. No other boot Can ever suit As you have done my crippled footl No other shoe can ever bo The tried, true friend you'yo been lo me. A last adieu, Dear, cast-off shoel Whatever may beconio of you, Acccp'., dear, easiest, best of shoes, This farewell offering of my muse. JEAN'S SITUATION. 'Morniu Heral'I" shrilly shouted a newsboy's voice nt my tlbow. "Have a paper, ma'am? Three ceuls, ma'am!" I hesitated. Should I spend three cents? Cents were of considerable im portance to me; but I glanced Into the forlorn little face, ami, iu spite of its dirt, thought I delected something that reminded rue of the sweet long ago, and I recklessly drew forth my attenuated purse, received the paper, and passed on, I was poor, very poor, and worked hard for my daily bread. I was only tbe teachir. of n primary school In u great city, I was not one of those numerous persous who havo known luxury only to be suddenly precipitated into (he depths of poverty. I bad never known tbe time when every dollar bad not been viewed in several ways, and then a very careful consideration of what I could do witbont tbe best, before I could make up my mind to spend it, Tet we bad been In better circumstances; for we bad lived in the country, and my father had owned tbo little farm and small amount of.stoci. But then Jack, poor wayward Brother Jack, bad got into trouble, and father had to mortgage the farm. That was three years ago; now the mortgage would soon ruu out and my parents would be homeless, for Jack was dead. Through my former school-teacher I had secured this position, and for fonr years bad traveled tbe same dull round. I did not like it. I was fond of obildren in a motherly sort of way, yet without a mother's enduring patience. .My salary was not very large; still I managed to keep myself and my parents respectably up on it; but nt this time I was cogitat ing tbe matter over in my mind, what conld I do to iuorease it? I reached my boarding-bouse before I had time to open my paper. Tea being over, and I alone iu my room, I took it from my satchel and opened it. In. stiuctifely I glauced nt the "Wants." Halfway down; this advertisement met my eyes "Wanted: A lady assistant book. keeper; must, bo a good penman and correct in natures. Ktlereuces required. Cull at No. 112 F. Street, between the honrs of nine and eleven a, m., for three u ay s. Thursday." To-day was Thursday, I would call Saturday. I should then be at liberty. "Just for tbo fun of it, I said to invself, almost forgetting my staidness aud my twenty-six years. If I could secure that situation, aud tbe salary was satisfactory, I would resign my school. I bad it all planned out and when Saturday came I dressed my self as nicely as my slender wardrobe would permit, and sallied out. As I paused in front of No. 112 F, Street, I glanced at tbo sigu, "Bowler, Men ill & Co." I felt the blood rise in to my cheeks and then recede, leaving me faint and giddy. "What an idisi I ami" I thought with severe self-contempt, ' Such a very common name as Merrill agitating me in this manner! For shame! Jane Morri sou.one would think yon were a sent! mental sixteen year old miss, rather than a maiden lady of uncertain age." I had passed the Btore in recovering my equanimity, so now retraced my steps. came in answer to an advertisement In'Thnrsday's 'Herald,'" I explained to the first clerk I saw. He motioned to a boy, who showed me tbe way to tbe farther end of the room where be left me after opening a door, I shall never forget how my heart nut' tered as I stood within. I wished in wardly that I had not come. I tnrned and put my band on tbe door knob be fore I saw a gentleman sitting at a high desk, regarding roe with an amused twinkle In bis fine, gray eyes. I must have looked ridiculous enough I with my twentj-bix years! for I blushed like a lobster. Then I was so angry with myself to think that I bad bln6hed that I drew myself up to my full height, and returned bis Jook haughtily. "I beg your pardon, sir," I said, and my voice sounded cold in my own ears. "I came in answer to an advertisement iu tbe 'Herald;' but I am inclined to think that I will not suit, so will bid jon good morning." Tbe twinkle did not leave bis eyes, al though his uiuutli bad ceased smiling, luualc "May I ask what reason yon have for the tuposition, Miss I beg your par don." "Jano Morrison is my came sir," I took a grim kind of pleasure in cal ling myselt "Jane" at this moment I always did when I was especially pro voked at myself simply because I de tested the name. I bad been christened Jean, bat our New England neighbors had insisted on calling me "Jane," whether or no, and I bad at length out wardly submitted to the lnfliction.though like a "ravening wolf" inwardly. I felt that I must say something in answer to his last question, sa I said, ruislng my eyes to his face I started as he turned his face to the light and brushed bis bnir back from bis forehead with a gesture that, although I bad not seen it foryeaisl recollected at once 'Beoanse I yon" I stammered, floun dered helplessly in a sea of ideas, wilhont one to save myself with. J Ho seemed to rather enjoy my discom fiture, for be wajled, witbont trying to help me oat of tbe quagmire. I grew angry. Should I allow him to triumph over me in this wny? "Mr. Merrill," I said, and I could have demolished him with a look, I was so ludignant. "I came here, as yon know, to learn whether I could procure the situation yon bad open for assistant book-keeper, yon will oblige me by in forming me whether I can secure it.' Rather a novel mode of addressing the man of whom I desired this favor, 'I thought afterward, although at the time I was indifferent lo the proprieties in this respect. "I regret. Miss Morrison, that we have engaged a lady to assist ns In that capacity." "Good morning, sir." I bowed slightly and turned to go, about tbe angriest yonng woman that ever walked into that office, I think. 'Dear mel what airs that shabby school- ma'am did put on," I should have been led to exclaim, bad the sobool-ma'am been other than myself. I poor and shabby; but I had never been tanght to cringe. My Scotoh independence was too prominent for that. "Stayl" be exclaimed, as I tnrned Ibe knob. "I have not that situation to offer you, but" and ho smiled again, while his eyes grew soft "I boyo another at my disposal which I think would just suit you. I want a wife. "I did not come here to be insulted,. sir," I said, although not so haughtily as before, "but I seem to have received that honor from your hands." And ngaln.I essayed to go out. This time he held the door, while he caught my hand within his. "Jean, do not misunderstand mel You know that I haveloved you long and faithfully. It would have been a sin one year ago to have told you this, but I um free to do so now." What did he mean? There was only ono thing he could mean bis wite was dead. I trembled and sank into a chair. I will hear what yon have to say, Mr. Merrill," I said. "Oh, Jean, you have thongbt me a scoundrel all these years! I loved yon fondly in that old time up among tbe White Hills, nnd I know that a little of your heart was mine, although it must have changed since then. My father and mother had coaxed me into an en gagement with my cousin a year before I knew you. I was young and heart free. It would please the old folks, and I was just of the age when boys wish to be men aud rush into all sorts of en tanglements. I admired my cousin; she was a delicate little thing, and loved me much better than I deserved. After that summer, yon remember, I can, I went home determining to break my en gagement and return to Ton; but I took my parents into my confidence; and they objected stoutly. 'I will never npbold my Bon in a course so dishonorable,' said my father, in bis sternest tones, 'Von have played tbe lover for a year, and now like the fickle fool that yon are, wish to be released. If you do this thing I will disown you. Yes, sir, I wash my bands of you entirely. Al though be was very angry, bis words made but little impression on me, so deeply was I In love with my little rustio maiden, compared with those of my mother. 'You will break Lizzie's heart, my son, for she loves you dearly. She is frail, and nnder a blow like that would never recover. How can you think ef such a thing? This is a fancy that will soon pass away. Do not sacrifice your affianced wife's life for the imaginary love of a pretty face. Do your duty, my boy, and yon will be happy.' I knew that what she said of Lizzie was the truth. She loyed me. I knew it, for, Ood forgive mo! I had taught ber that. I bad spoken no word of love to yon, a!, though you must have known it all. It was soon over.the bitter straggle between duty and inclination. I told them if it must be, I 'wished it to he at once. In a month I was married. But it is all over now; Lizzie is dead. I wai kind to ber, and made ber life as bappy as I could She never knew that she did not occupy my wbolo heart. If it were a deception, I deceived ber to the last. That was a year ago come Jane, one mouth from now, and after all these years, my dar ling, I ask you the question I wished to ask yon eight years ago. Will you be my wife? Happy, foolish tears were In my ejer, bappy blushes had succeeded tbe angry ones of a few moments ago, and after these years of donbt, of attempted, thougfe vain, distrust, I placed my hand in his and did not say him nsy. Tbe enervation and lassitude of spring time are but Indications of the sluggish ao tioo of tho blood, overloaded with carbon' ate accumulated by the use of beatiAg food ID winter. This condition way be remedied by the use tf Ayer's Earsparllla, the best blood purifier known. A UTAH. FISH BT0BT. They tat arouud tbe White House store yesterday swapping lies, and when Jackson bad exhausted his store Jones opened his sample case aud began. "I was down in Water canon, sooth east Nevada, last fall, (near Mormon Spring, where tbe water rushes through and under a mountain thirty-five miles across" "Tunnelled perhaps," said Jsokion. "No, its a natural water course, and comes oat boiling on 'tothcr side, thtn runs off in a big stream." 'How does it perforate tbo mountain?" said Jackson. 'There's a series of beautiful falls. with nioe steps leading down, then a deep poll as clear as crystal, with plen ty of mountain trout sporting at the bot tom. One day a band of Apache Indians pitched their wickiups near this str'ani, and an old back and his squaw, hearing tho rushing waters Delow, went down tbe natural stairway to the stream. The old seeing the trout in the bottom, made bis squaw dive for them," "And did she do it?'' asked Jaokson. "You bet, for Indian bocks won't stand no foolishness. Bat the squaw didn't come np. She went clear under that mountain and came out 'tother Bide, thirty-live miles." "Did it drown her?" said Jackson, who bad become very much .interested in tbe fate of the squaw. "No; she came oat dripping wet with a two-pound trout in ber mouth aud one in each hand." JUST THE MAN HE WANTED. Our correspondent at Derry sends the following- Michael Kelley, or Mike Kel Iey as be was usually called, was an eo oentrlo old farmer living in one of oar surburban towns. Born of poor parents, by industry and perseverance be had be come possessed of one of the finest farms in that section, of which be was justly proud; but no prouder was be than of bis own physical strength and agility, that bad assisted him in accumulating bis property, and made him a most ex cellent boxer and wrestler, and he had a corresponding contempt for men of in ferior powers. One spring when help was unusually plenty, he determined to have tbe farm ran that year by a strong team. So when a man presented himself and asked for work, after inquiring of tbe man as to bis habits, etc, bo would finish np by asking him to fight, In this way he dis posed of quite a number of applicants, and was beginning to despair of bis 'strong team,' when one morning he was standing in the barndoor, a young man camo op the road and seeing him called out: -"Good morning, sir."; "Good morning," gruffly. "Do you want to hire a hand to work on your farm, sir?" "Perhaps so; want to hire out?" "Yes, sir, I am looking for a job." "What can you do?" "All kinds of farm work, sir; I was jorn on a farm." "Can you fight?' "What, sir?" "Can yon fight, I say: can you lick me?" "I don't know, sir, whether I can or not; bat I can try." And be did try. The first thing Kelley knew be was on his back on the floor, with a fist in each eye, and bis note was bleeding. Then he let him np, and was just picking up bis bundle to start oil. when be was called back and set to work, and he proyed to be as trusty and in dustrious as he was brave. The larder's daughter needed just such a husband, attd now he may be seen any day super intending tbe work on the farm, while Father Kelley sits in the arm-chair and tells to his grand-obildren the story of his last fight. Uncle Sam's and Patent Bights- Last week several unscrupulous Phila- delpbiansattemptedtosell on our streets some Cough Candy on which they bad willfully neglected to put the U. S. Rev enue Stamps. Of coarse, Uncle Sam speedily fined them and confiscated their stook. Yesterday another chap thought to fill his pockets with sundry change by trading on the wide-spread and well known reputation of Dr. Hall's Cough Syrup. Armed with a goodly supply of his choicest "Honeyed Herb Drops,' claiming them to be "prepared by Dr. Bull's original recipe," he takes his stand on one of the thoroughfares of our city. reasoning in this way: Dr, Bull's Cough Syrup sells always, everywhere, and to every body; ergo, these "Honeyed Herb Drops," made from tbe recipe of Dr. Boll, will roll me up such a nice little fortune that this illusory day-dream is suddenly ended by tbe appearance on the scenes of tbe representatives of the genuine Dr, Bull's Cough Syrup, Whereupon the fellow is compelled to beat a sudden retreat aud to leave bis spurious goods on tbe field. Moral. Unscrupulous dealers, and venders of fraudulent imitations, will Mud it quilt, as dangerous to infringe the Patent Rights of Dr. Bull's Cough Syrnp, as to break tbe Revenue Laws of Uncle Sam, Balta, Md. Sux. An Iiish setter belonging to C, W. Sproul, of Cnrtersville, Gs., scented a covy of birds, and cams lo a dead set right on tbe track of the Cherokee Rail road just as a passenger train was ap pronohiog at full speed. Some negroes endeavored to drive tbe dog away, but tbo animal was trained never to flush birds, and could not be coaxed or driven from bis post, but stood his ground till tbe tnglne struck and killed bim. -It rather takes the spirit out of a rein who has bragged to a friend of the sagacity of bis setterdog to have a friend go buntlna with him. and be led by tbe dog a furious chase of three miles across stumpy bogs aud finally tree an excited bouse cat The Carbon Advocate. An Independent Family Newspaper Published every ATUltDAY, fit Iiehigkton, Carbon Co., Pa., by IIAItKV V. IrlOUTIIliriEIt. Omrs-IIANKWAY, a short dlslauce above the Lehigh Valley R. 11. DcpoL Terns: $1.00 per ADnrmi in Advance EVEtir DEecnn-TioN or tlaix aud rxcr Job Printing AT VERY LOW TRICES. The principal resemblance between a man who stops a team on the crosswalk of a crowded street anil half a barrel of dour Is that both make about a hundred wait. "The difference," said the cok, "be tween a chile of royal birth and a young lamb is that tlio first is tended Iu splendor and the othor is splendid 'n tender.' The papers make a great bolder about tbe number of people who escape at a rail reed scetdenl. Wouldn't they have escap ed just the tamo hsd there been no acci dent? BJornsen, the Korwcgion novelist and poet, Ijhis njrrived lin Ijhis cjountry, cheat ing njullc njn ejxclleineut ijn Ijiterary cjlr- cles.ejnd iji sjnxious Ija mjeot Wilhelpiji, bjingo. "Hall Stones as Big as Pumpkins. " There is some doubt the bail-stones hav ing been quite lo large, but as some people said they were ns large as potetnes anyhow, it must have been a very severe storm. A man who is lilt with many hall-stones .will be badly bruised. It is surprising to. see how quickly Tunny Davis's Pain KtLti a will relieyo the pain, even of the worst bruises. A Cincinnati man had his portrait painted in Paris. His friends complained to him that it was much ton old. "That's what I ordered'sald he. "It will save' tho expense of another one len years from now." A great punsler was asked ono evening In company, to make sn extempore pun. "Upon what subject?" he inquired. Ono of the party answered: "The queen." "Oh, sir," he replied, "the queen is no subject." The women are always looking under the bed for a man. No man cyer thought of looking for a woman under such circum stances. Ho always scans the mirror when ho Is in search of the female. A servant girl fell on a bracket, Her skull, she did nearly crack it, St. Jacobs Oil nppt ring, Ssyed her from dying It proved to bo "Just the racket." A steamboat captain from Goshen, Was hurt by a boilor explosion; On the pains in his hip, SL Jacops Oil gut the grip, He calls it the all-healing lotion. A boy, sent to prison for ninety dsys for clipping a curl Irom a girl's head, has been pardoned by tho Governor oflowa. The modest young woman "who turned all colors" hss given up tho busi ness, owing lo the multiplicity of tho now shades. Getting Sober is the name of a gentle man who recently purchased some property is the town of Total Wreck, Arizona, The other day n Florida couple, aged 80 years each, rode thirty miles in a spring less cart to get married, An economical man who has worn the same hat for twenty three years says it has been In fashion seven limes. 1 S2Q.No family dyes were 6ver so popular as the Diamond Dyes. They never fail. The black Is farsuperior to logwood. The other colors nro brilliant. Mica has been discovered on a Penn sylvania farm. This is not Micab, the prophet, though there is a profit In mica. The are thing) for which we must con stantly ask forgiveness first, the thing we hsvedone, and second, the thing wo liaio not dono. Look to your firo escapes. In other words, settle your debts nnd pay your rpew rents. It docs not give Ireland good govern ment to hang the victims of bad govern ment. The little girl who called tbe ostrich tbe bird with a bonnet tall put it about right. L. ... Ig ;ort Stevenson, Dakota, Ter Rev. James McCarty says: "Brown's Iron Citteri cured rue of aevero dy t pepsla." Tbe gossip is likoa bicycle, In thai she is exceedingly liable to run a ierson down. An English pubtishr announces "The B.ronet's Cross." Who Is tbe baronet, end snd what is he cross about? Tbe man who was the coolest person 'at the battle of Wslerloo has just died. He hid in the ice-house of tne chateau during the fielit. A New York paper has been publishing the "Horrors of Sing Sing." Nothing is said. In tbe article about "Pinafore" iMrfuriu ances. ' A complimentary vole is something that Is thrown at a man to make hhn feel bad because he is nut quite opular enough to be elected. &$l-Subscribe far the Advocations dol lar a year. Allcock's Porous Plaster CUUtS IVHEItU OlIIKIt 1'LAS TEKS FAIL EVEN TO REMF.Vr. Takonootlier or you will bo dlsa polnted. Insist on litt ling ALLCOCK'S Puila., JOS North Titian St.,1 February 1 1883. J I have been using Auxncx's Pernors PkASTtas for a number of yrsraand l ys with maiked benefit. I have been milch troubled with Muscular Rheumatism ; Luvo bren treated by five of our beat physicians without receiving any relief whatever. I then used Ali-cocs'b Plasteeuu the pans affected and I can assure you that the pain has alinrst entirely left me. I can recum uend lliein tu every one as the beat pjaaler made. I have tried other kinds but found them worthless. n. k. Gallagher, Weak Kidneys Cured. CukTOOCOOK, N. II., I March 3, 18S0. ; I have been greatly troubled with Rheu matism and Weak Kidneys. I was advited to try Allcock's Pueocs Plastess (Bad used two other kinds of so called Porous Plasters, which did sue no good), but one , your worked like a charm, glviug me com. plate relief, snd I have not been troubled with Rheumatism aud Kidner Complaint since using thorn, and I consider myself yured. EDWARD D.' DORNH Alii
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers