imps FARMERS' COLUMN. rMcrx aiYd ituitAii nvAVrv. Eery t'ma new fence Inventions aro thrust on Ihe termers Itouglit lo bring up for review the In porlniit question whether It will pay to Invest much moro In fence or not. The, gnoil laws now so common against the running at large of lite stock reader fences utinccefsary except to fence In one's own stock, anil Iho multiplying pn-fs that the, pasturing of good, '.illuule Ian I invnlvcs-niore cxpt-nso than a farmer can afford, Is slowly tut gradually revolu tionizing this ancient ami palpable absurd ity. If Instead of inventing any more patent fences inventors would turn their attention ton process by which farmers could be made to -ee that fenca were not t nly usolcts but stupidly wasteful, it would be liko lifting a mill-stons from (heir necks. It Ims Wen shown over and over again that the finces of the United Slatea have cost in direct cash ou lay and work more lhan tho amount of our national debt, which, In round num bers, is about two thousand millions of dol lars; and In addition (hern is the waste of ld, Ihe waste of the pasture which might bo turned Into good hay fir winter, the waste of manure, and the wasteful habits engeuderrd and maintained through the falsa idea that because stock is pastured therefore stall-feeding is entirely unncccs airy at such a time. This question is suggested by reading an advertisement of a new "Air-lino Fenco" patent, got out by some western genius, by Vflrrh he proposes to tako tho kinks out of a common rail fence, make it as "stralidilas a string," save enough of the land now wasted to pay for tho work, and save also irom ono-lhlrd to one half tho nnmber of rails that a crooked fence requires. The land will be "tared," ills to be supposed, by gelting nearer to the fence with the plow, but :n pasturing this can make no special difference. Hails will bo saved because near Jy everybody knows that a crooked lino is longer than a straight one, but It docs not i-cctir to some people (lint a fence with no rails stall must cost virtually nothing, and ba money in the pocket, through the adop tion of a profitable substitute for Ihe postur- Ing system. Soiling Is a system very much at variance with slip shod and guess-work farming; ' necessitates more care, fore though!, and the keeping of accounts, to some extent, and all these are 60 opposed to Ihe. habits of the mass of farmers that many would more readily be at twice the prc6tnt expense for fences than adopt tho soiling system. Wood Is growing scarce In the older set tled regions of the East.nnd on the prairies proper it never did exist, and is expensive eveu for fuel. It has become a serious ques tion with thinkers (and sometimes it oven forces itself on the minds of our lawmakers) what can be done to stay its further destruc tion and retain our groves and forestall well as grow new ones, so that our cllmato shall not suffer serious harm by their almost to tal extirpation. A large Item nf destruction la In the bulldingandnainlenahee of wood en farm fences, which not only do no good in the aggregate, but aro a positive delri-rn'-nt to tho appearenco and prosperity ol the country. If necestary that boundry l'nes between prepcrties shall ho designated by ylsihle marks, the cost of handsome hedges will be no more than fences, and their nppearanco'wlll bens different as tho difference between deformity and beauty. But in general nothing at all la needed, Tho habit of visibly marking out and placing a barrier along tho boundry lines of the prop erty comes down Irom a barbaric age, when property rights depended mote on barriers and physical or military strength than on respect for law or moral rights. Our rights are defined by good laws, with penalties at tached to the person or persons who en croach, orwho will not take proper rare, of those brute animals owned by them who know no law but tho laws nl instinct Fences aro about as el surd as would be the open practice of carrj Ing defensive weapons. In feudal times overybody went armed, and lived In rasters orsome fi-rllfi.il habitations, and If the feudal barons didn't have Chinese wall sort of fences about their dukedoms it was because they thought reliance on the words of their retainers was a cheaper way of fencing. If they pastured their livestock it was In walled enclosures, costing little for labor because the laborer was a slave, or else they were guarded by armed herders ready to shed Word on the instant. A rail or stone fence may lie an improvement economically, and to some extent n triumph of civilization over feudal barbarism, hut not much In Ihe aesthetic sense, as a more hedfous object on the landscape ran hardly be imagined. Armed herders guarding their (locks would be much moro pictures que; but an entire absence offences, with richly cultivated fields carrying crops up to th line of tin- road bed, and the ricli colors of the various crops marking the outline of holds, would bo vastly more attractive to .the eye of tasto. And everything which enhances rnral beauty makes it mure at tractive to the rich aud cultered, and tends l draw them Into the country for homes where health and iceiiMry c both be en joyed aud children reared away Irom vices and temptations, FAH.-ri MI1IX. Fowls that go tn nmst with full crops on a cold night will be apt to suffer less Irom cold than with empty crops. Each night and morning they should be fed well In winter; the noon feed is not very impor tant. In France and Belgium poultry cars reused on some of tho railroads that are ipecially adapted to Ihe shipment nr live or dressed ultry. Americans ought nut to allow "these foreigners' to excel uslu improvements. -Hens enjoy a barn cellor in wlnler where it is generally warm, so they can acrateb to their hcarla content. The farmer who is careful to provide such a place f.ir his fowta dining bad weather of winter does wisely, and the hens will compliment him if otherwise well cared for, by egga at a time when they are worth having. Mr. A. Bryant places the profitable bearing life of an apiJe tree at 20 years. mow wo mm: is jian i Man as a, pbysiclal, intellectual, and mor al being, becomes most completely develop ed in all his parts and faculties by using daily, at least, one dose nl Browu'a Iron Bitters. Many thousand are ready to tes tily that it is the best medicinal tenia in the -world I It strengthens every part rthe body, ud excels everything t.te In Its soothing sod refreshing effects on the who' a general a! mil sytUm. , I IftieiimAism Neuralgia, Sprains, l'nin in tho Unck nnil SI do. Thero la nothing more painful than Utcso diseases; hut tho pain can ba removed and tho dlscasa cured by uso of Perry Davis' Pain Killer. Tills remedy l not n (heap Bcntlnn or l'ctrolptim product that must bo kciit ntvny from (lro or Itrat to n.nll danger of rxploslon, nor li It mi untried expert mont that may do more linrm than good. Pain Killer li3 been In constant uee tor forty years, and tlfi universal testimony from all parts cf tin world Is, It never falls. It net only elects n permanent cure, but It rclljvcs pita almost Instantaneously, ncl-jjj a purely vc.-.tablo remedy, It Is safo In the hnndj cf tho mrst Inexperienced. Tho reocra cf cures by tha uso of Paim KlLLiit would fill vUonios. The following utracu frcm l-ttens received show what thsse who havo trl d It think; Edsar Caiy, O-sratoana, Minn., saya : About a ye?r Unco my v.lfo bcccina subject to wj,?to nulrrlir from rhoumf llrin. Our rerort wca to tUa I'ai:i Killxii, which epocdUr rcllofod Usr. Cl'arlc3 Fowell wrltaa from tho Bailors' ilomo, London: I had Uvea nnllrtc 1 three jxcra with nettrcbria an J v'olont conams of tha stomach. '1 he doctors at V, eitmlmter Hosp'L-l gnw up tny o?ro in ae'i air. ItriMyourluiN rui.iM,ciullli.-i mo IramctU-to n.l!rf. I hao refrained mr et.-emrt'i, and tni 110.7 rXlo to f, how my usual occujMtlan. O. II. Valsortli, Ecso, lie., wrltos : ,.l cx- ronced odi.toiel tf 1mm rein hi tho ;tdo bj tt ki a 1 f j our Paik Kilj-cb. n.Yorlcnays: I hjva inert swrr.' in Him r.n rcrrhounuttera, end hnoroctlcii p-.-Mtboiti.L Barton r.oeman cr.yo : Hmo u.cd I'Aiii liiurn for thirty leart, a;-d hi-.e finu'l it n tr-tr.faiiig rcuicuy for rnoum -tlam cad Uaxncea. Hr.liurdUfvrrltcu: J tn, ter tn-lrb r. Kef In cere- r.f rhcumcUsm. rnu. GUbert, f.omer-ct,ra., mteo : 3 r -1:1 rctjil 1 I know jov.rr.UNKiLt.En til tao bot mcd.clr.o I c cu ext. All Uru2Tls!3 I'orp Taih KiLt-tn. Its prioo Is do low that It la within tho reach ot all, taJ It will save many times Us cost la doctors' bills, asr., coo. and 51-00 a bottle. PEF3RY DAVI3 & SOU, Proprletcrj, "rovldoneo. R. I. 3 .vk fj 1 i r m 1 1 sm . v ei 1 " m a THE GREAT CURE FOB RHEUMATISM JU It Is tor all fUsouca of tho KIDNEYS. LIVER AND BOWELS. Tt oloanaaa the system of tho acrid poison that oaoaea tho dreadful eufferluc "which only tho viotima of Shctunatiam can realico. THOUSANDS OF CASES of th) wont forms of this terrible dlseaaa have boon quickly relieved, In a short time PERFECTLY CURED. ha had wonderful tuccenftt and an ImmcoEO aalolnevcrypartortho Country. In hun dredaofoa3S3 it has cured where all else had faiiod. Itl3 mild, hut efflelcnt, CEUTAIN IN ITS ACTION, hut harmless In all cases. 7"It cleanses, Strengthens and cWesXew JATo to all tho imTMrtantoriransof thnbod-T. A Tho natural action of tho JUdneya is restored. ' i Tho TAVBT Is eleanBftrl nf all HI a sa rl tVin ki BoweLimovofrooly and healthfully. In this I A way tho worst diseases are eradicated from r 1 thnKwtom. Aa It has been proved by thousands that la tho most effectual remedy for cleansing tho system of all morbid secretions. It should be used In every household as a SPRING MEDICINE. Jumyt euros EIUODSHES3. CONSTTPA. TION, and all rKTJATiTi Dbcuos. Is pTit up InDry VrcetaUo Tom, lntln cons, onapacliairo of -which makes equattiraeclclra. Also la l.Iq3ldrarm, very Couccntratedfor the convenienco of thoso who cannot readily pre poreit. IlaettvHthtriual eJtcteneytucitJttrforiJU get rroFYocm DRcaauiT. rr.icE,i.oo WELLS, ItlCIIAI'.nsOX A ro., Prop's, CVfilt send tho dry post-naliU m at hotoi, T. Jlll'OKTAXT ASXOUiMJEHE.NI ! 3Lewas WSg9 l'OST OFFICE IsUILDINQ LEIIIQHTON, PA., lias tho Largest and Most Uxtccelve Stock or 3GIisctBfij3 Slaves, HATS, CAPS, &c. ever offered In this borounb, nnd to wlilcli I Invito the special attention of my customers oml tho public generally, as I am prepnred to ofTer extraordinary Inducoinenu lu . FALL- AND WlNTKIt s, Hats, Caps, k, and I Invite mynumerous filcnds and patrons to call and einmlno my stock before ranklnj; tliclr purchases elsewhere, as lam nrepared tn i?tve special Inducements to all OASH l'UHCHASi:HS. ltcmcinbor, LEWIS WEISS Post-Offlco Uulldlns, Lelilitlitcn, Pa. Sept. 20. ' KING OF THE SINGERS. Tlie abovo Is tho exnet representation of the sewlnir maclilno we sell for twenty dollars. It Is In every respect tlio very best ollhe Slncr style of machinist tliil-hc.l in the ben manner, with the liui-st Improveinciits for winding the bobbin, the most convenient style ol Uhle with exienslun lear, larire ilrawcrs and beiutllulgotlilo cover. It HunJi with out a rlvul. Kine: of Singer ladies. We do not asc you to pay for It until you see what you are I uylnn. Wo only wish to kl-ow thai you really nunt to buy a machine and aro willing to ay V-iO for tho best In tho ul J iKtt, Write- .o us sending tho name of you near est rallroail station. Wo will t.-nd the ma. chlno nml Kite Instructions to allow you to examine It befoio ;uu pa? for It. WIH.MAn.TH h. CO., ;. Filbert sireet, July.-lv. Pl.lladolr,hlu.ra. i iX. t: A: T.',lo.MAS- Corner Ninth and F Hlreets. Washington, II. O., attonds to Pen. slonand Hack Pay. liounly Claims collect ed. Contend LimI OJaims, Mineral and Aicrlculjural;atieniled lo before! the lltiart incnt or the Interior and Mupreme !6urt. Land bcrln anil Additional llouii'ileaili pur- Abrll'-il-oor. ?is lit a I 7) . jpj ni.sciii.MNCons. A lovely punster "I don't see any sense In thatsort of thing," said Mrs. Smith, M the wnlUers tvlilrled past her) "and not only that," she added, "but It Is positively disgraceful." "Why, how can you say iot" replied the young lady at her aide) "turn about Is fair play, you know." The bull-dog'a little joke: "There'll ba several cold snaps this winter." The art of living easily as to money Is to pllih your seals of living one degree be low your means. Many men who claim that the world owes thera a living appear to have very poor success in collecting the debt. Several women from tho United 8(ates, wives nf Mexican capitalists and politicians, are leaders in the city of Mexico society. A F00IUI1 Mlntnhe. Don't make the mistake 01 confounding a remedy of merit with quack medicines. We speak from experience when we say that rumors Ulngor Tonic Is a sterling health restorative which will do all that is claimed for It. We hayo used itoursnlvcs willi tho happiest results for rheumatism 11 nd when worn nui c-y overwork. so advertisement, Timu. A rasonab!o lover 1 "Yes," he said to his confidential friend,"! am engaged to her and I supposo I ought to be very happy ,biit somehow I am worried about a former at. tuchmcnt of hers. There's that infernal blackguard, Jones, who" "Why bless my soul I You stupid fellow, she hates him like poison." "Yes, yes,- I know that's what troubles me. SI10 hates him to bitterly net to have loved him once." We notico that a great many proprlotory medicine men are advertising In such a manner as tn lead the public, and particu larly the retail druggists, to believe that the sals ol their goods ia so great that unless their orders are sent in early they will be unable tn fill them. We. however, notice one exception tn this rule, in the cao of ths Sine s Manufacturing Uo., or l'hiladcl .phla, Pa., who are honest enough to state that no matter how fast tho onlers come In for Sino'a Svrun ol Tor, Wild Cherry and Hoarhound, they shall be filled. Their sales on this preparation last year were 600,483 bottles ; their faoilitiea for making, at pres ent, are 1,000,000 bottles per annum j but let no drutgtst or customer be alarmed, that there will over be n corner In Sine'a Tar, for should tho trade demand 2,000,000 bottles they can bo had. and from our experience with II. as n i-ongh anil mid remedy,we have no doubt that it s.ilea will soon reach the last named figures. San FrancUco A'eica and Dtxpatch, Ono of Ihe Oscar Wllda ogonlrl: A new agony Is lor a young lady to buy a thirty-six-cent tambourine, paint a suiiQuwer in ono i-orner nf it and a pond lllly in another and hang It up on the wall as a decoration. This signifies: "Art and music have joined hands, let 'em jingle." Force of habit : "Stop the press I" tho editor frantically shouted to the young fol low who was hugging his sweetheart. f,. .wlfa 1. l.nn , .. M ,l 1 1 1. l.lll... n!M. Iiloqtinrr nf stnmnph unit howulc. ftivull. Ing of tho limbs, constlnaiion for years, but nu iias vanisiicu irom mo use ni uiree uot tie3 D. H. V. G., dyspepsia remedy, u. uaruer, item staie, Syracue ,N. Y. Guaranteed by all druggists. Covrrsalion oyei heard In a horse car: "When you call for a beer do you say 'A glawco of Dawse' or 'A glass of Bawoo' or 'A glawco of Boss' or merely A g'ass of IIhss?'" "I don't say cither. I say 'One beer.' ,' Many a man Blips a threo cent piece into the contribution box with a len cent sir. Wiiynej co., (Ohio) Democrat. Mr William K. Snyder or West Leban on. Ohio, anys : For sumo time past I h d bi-en soverely afflicted with rheiitntitism. Pceiiunn advertisement orSt. Jacob's Oil, I procured a bottle, and I could feel the effect "f tho Oil upon the first applica tion. I am now entirely well iiflnr u?nr. one bottle. When a young woman has an oyercoal sleevo around her neck, can she claim to have an ulstcr atert tore throat? It's wonderful how manv thinim n lmv c, - j can hit witli a roal-sctitlln on M whv ,lnwn cellar wheu he has had his feelings niflleii. Old saying: "I have divided my sub ject," began Ihe parson, "into two heads.'- "iwo nenus wiin uut a single thought, whispered Fimir to his wife, and then he closed his eyes for his usual nsp. A Voice from tlio I'rctM. I lake tills oppoilunity to bear testimony to the efficacy of your "Hop Bitters." Kx pecting to find Ihoin nauseous and bitter and composed of bad whiskey, we were agreeably surprised at their mild tatte.just like a cup nf tea. A Mrs. Cresswell ami a Mrs. Connor, friends, havo likewise tried, and pronounces them tha b et medicine Ihey havo ever taken for building up rlrcnilh and toning up tho svslem, 1 wail troubled with costiveness, headucho nd want 01 appetite: My ailments are now nil 50110, I have a Yearly contract with a iW tor In look after tho health nf myself and family, but I need him not now. a. GiLMi.Axn, July 25. 1S78. Pconlc'x Advocair. Pin. burg, Pa. A handsome girl never get! angry when reflections are cast ujin her appearance by her mirror. A littlo girl who waa much petted said: "I like sitting on gentlemen's knees better than on ludiea', don't you, ma J" At thirty a man thinks he will never dye, but ho finds himself mistaken before ten years more have rolled over his head. V illicit lul r.nver. When a medicine preforms such curej aa Kidney-Wort 9 constantly doing, it may truly be raid to have wonderful power. A carpenter In Montgomery, Vt., had suffered lor eight years Irom Ihe worst of kid ue v diseases, and had been wholly incapacitated fur work, lie says, "One box made a new nan of me, and I sincerely believe it will restore to health all that are similarly of ft-cted," It is now sold in both liquid and dry form. Daitbury jYnca. Her heart was touched: Two well- dressed ladies were examining a statue of Andromeda, labeled, "Executed in terra cotta." Pays one : "Where is that t" "I am sure I don't know," replied the other,- "but I pity the poor girl, wherever it was." Run over himself.: The best description we have ever heard of a slow man, was that ha w4 to slow to get out of his own way. It don't take a fast horso to catch the epliootlc. For five yean I have been troubled with constipation, liver and suunji-h troubles, roupK-d with loss of memory and sleepless isw. ii i ro uuuir u. ii, v, u. uat matte me u well man and a happy one. J oli in tun Miller, Insurance, Syracuse, 1ST, Y. Guranteed by all druggists. Conclusive evidence: Mr. Slobson walk ed into the police office ou Saturday and cumplalne I to the officer in charge that the Star route Ibeives had broken into bis house I aud robbed him. "How du you know they were Star route thelvest" inquired the offi. . cer. "Because," replied the old mau,"they stole everything I had J didu't leave me one Ingle tlurg." There is no getting around that klud of logic. Manufacturer of and Dealer In STOVES, RANGES AND HEATERS, Till and Siieet-Iron Ware and General House Fnrnlsliiiig Goods. UOOF1NO nnil KI'OlTTlIVfJ dona at short notice and at Lowost Cash Prices. hverrkludof STOVE OtlATKS and FlltlS DUIUlM kupt constantly on hsud. Store on SOUTH Street, A tew doors above Hank St, I.KHIQlrrON. Patrensae solicited Sitlstaellnn Knarnt id. Octs-yi a. u. iiusaurt. WHY! WHY! You should go to Dr. C. T. Horn's CENTRAL DRUG STORE, BECAUSE He personally attends to Ids business. He has the experience of medicine. He has the best nnd purest Drugs and Chemicals. He has one price to all. He has the best goods for the least money. He has all tho Popular Patent Mcdlolnes. He has the best Horse and Cattle Powder. Ho has the best wlnei and chjars. He keep tho best Old llye Whiskey lor mcdhinal purposes. pHohaa tho latest patterns In WALL He has a full line of Lamps and Lamp Fix. turei. He has a lull line of Toilet and Fancy Ar ticles. He buys and sells fos cash. Call and bo convinced that the abovo rea. sons are correct, and oblige O. T. HORN, M. I)., Loucktl's Uloek, Opposite tho "Carbon Homo." Sept. 10, 1881. ly. RYl LOST MANHOOD RESTORED. A victim of youthful imprudence causing Frematuro Decay, Kcrrors Debility, Lost Man hood, etc, having trkd lu vain every known remedy.has d iscovcrcd i simple self euro, which be will eot:d FllER t nia fftllow-miffcrers, ad diets J. II. ECxVE3, iJ Cliatham tU, H. Y.' January 29, 18Sl-yl Inventors will Advanco their Interests .by KmpIoylnKan Experienced Attornevreslilent in VVashtnRton. P. A. Lchmanii. Hollrll-.rof American nnil Forclitn Paten:,, Washln'if ton, II. U has had years of successful Prne tlce, and wn formerly an Kxcmiuer of I a tentsln the Patent Ufflc. All luslnrss be fore tho Courts or the I!carlinrnt pr-mitly attended to. Fee contingent upon success, bend lor Circular. Apili 23-tr-cur. Parker's GingerTonic Anlnulfirr9llniM4t-ls,Al..ill.....l.(.ut 8. iHiijuiatinj saibutvillU UldtllCVCI 111 lUXIbeHES Mandrake, iMi.lingia.and many oilier of the best vegetable medicines known, cures Female Com pUnis. KlieumatUm, Nervousnesi.Wake fulness nd all disorders of the bowels, stomach, liver, kidneys, and urinary organi. If you have lost vour aifoetite and are W S rin ted, or siifiering from age, or any infirmity, take Parker's Cincer Tonic, It vill strengthen vmu ana uoayana Rive you new lire and vizor. , i bp qoLlars , ' I aid for anything injurious found in CInccr Ionic, or for a failure to help or cure . f 1 lul Atdruer'U. Linri ii.f briTler JMI.r ib. SnJ for glrciiW U lllct C., HJWin. tL, H,Tt POSITIVELY CURED BY Benson's Capcine Porous Plasters. neisons Why llicy nro Preferred to All other Porous Plaster or External TAcmcalesi Fine. ici an ina merit of the strencthenlnB porous plaster, and contain in id. dltiou therein the newly iUr,iVl . ".V. . acUreveBttallo combination which acts with in- Second. Because they ar a eejinlna pharmtceuUcal prep aration, and so recognised by the proftsaion Third. Hbciom thtv ira ifirt rtnlv 1aB. . pslnit once. ' " ' "a" Fourth. , JH .. ui ywBii.Tciy core aiseaaea which other remedica will not even, relieve. Fifth Becanw over tOOO physicians and dra.!. .. .u,uuu,u7 lauucu imi mey are superior other plasters or medicine, for external nse, ssxtn Bccaass the mannracturera hava received tha only medals aver ctven for poroos plasters. Benson's Capcine Porous Plaster' SEABURY & JOHNSON, Manniactanng ChemlsU. Ntw lotk. HWD'SHtdicatsJCORNsadBiiNinMP icTcSV . . - . ........... , 1 j tJ rvi'. i-rii-M pi.,. w lTw ciejjamlyF WilrK- Ji'SfcfTjwj-S pnfiinied and J naruraUolorftl Ache ALL SORTS. Buffaloes are common in Ceylon, white ones being sometimes found. Boston can count up 203 women in that city worth over $1,000,000 each. Tn a life of 65 years one must have eaten 30 tons of solids and liquids. There were 1,440 pounds of diamonds shipped to Europe from Cape Town last year. The ancient Scandinavi ans celebrated days of death with rejoicing, and those of birth with mourning. A Canada town boasts two brothers who are practis ing law in spite of the fact that they rtro both deaf mutes. A notion prevailed in Egypt that a citron, eaten ear ly in the morning, was an an tidote against all kinds of poison. A slight defect: "The character of Romeo just suits him," said Brown. " Vefy true," replied Fogg, " but it suits nobody else." A trout caught recently in Murray county, Georgia, was found to contain a silver half dollar. The coin wn&fl slightly corroded. The arm ol a man, fore leg of a quadruped, wing of a bird, and tin of a fish, all pre sent the same bones varied and modified. Ihe average life of an English gold sovereign isabout eighteen years that is, the coin loses three-quarters of a grain in weight in about that length of time. It then ceases to be a legal tender. At Eastport, Me., a sail or, wanting a drink of water and finding the cask-pump frozen, poured hob water into it, and while attempting to suck a drink from it, inhaled the steam and was scalded to death. That a human bite is as dangerous as that of any ani mal is shown by an occurrence in the German city of Mini ster, whore a man, who was bitten in one of his fingers during a fight, has had the alternative of losing his arm or his life. AVintf iing bees in cellars appears to be an improvement over wintering them outside The bpes consume less honey. have less loss, and are health ier m the end. Pun of the Patticake kind: Most great singers accused of taking some slight stimulant, but lew know how l . i . - mucii u raivcs to prime a donna. Carpenters rather than reformers: What is wanted in these days is not so much the elevation of tlio stage as the enlargement of the means of exit from the auditorium. rtl lit "uoionci, saiu a man i i i . i wiiu wuiucu in ma ice out a genealogical tree. "Colonel, how can I jrot thoroughly ac- quamted with my family his tory? "bimply by running for Congress, answered the colonel. Round, but somewhat noisy: "Your arguments arc sound, my son, and delivered wiin lorce, sam me clergy man to Ins t oy, who ha 1 t een banging away at his drum for an hour or more: "but we have heard quite enough on that head." The boy stopped at once, with tho aid ol his mother aud hired girl. Difference of opinion : After reading the foreign news our Jeefns' wife laid down the paper and remarked: "I think husband, that Ireland must be a very hard country to livo in, don't you 1" "On the con trary," said Jeems, "I think it must be a very soft one." "How so V "Because you know, it is very thickly pad died." Unadulterated caution : A story is told of a member of a certain theological semin ary who was so sensitive as to any suspicion of plagiarism that lie never allowed himself i.l. 4t i t 4 , . in tne DcitxTinc avrbican. Tins large tO malCC tUe Sllglltest qilOta- and splendid illustrated waekly iar3.20 tion without giving his autli.:f,,ml OntV. On One OCCaSlOn 110 i,,.,, , 4 i.i.iu 4 4i begun grace at breakfast thus: "Lord, we thank thee that we have awakened from the sleep which n writer in the Edin- , n 1 11 1 .1 burg JieVtetO tiaS Called the 'image of death.' " SaSH'PI. r . nnn.. A . XMfT -L IlC LAHBON ADVOCATE . j. . -Tr . ... one year for &1. and Kendall s tt 1 Jriorse 130 ok as a Dremium. MILLINERY including Hats, Bonnots, Flower,, Ribbons, NEW GOODS RECEIVED WEEKLY. All work done In the latest style, and most durable manner, at tho lowest cash prices BTOHK : at the Intersection of BANK STREET and BANKWAY, LEI1IOHTON. PA aprlUO, Isti-yl.' A TRUE A PERFECT STRENGTHENER.A SURE REVIVER. IKON BIT-TKRSi aro highly recommended for all diseases re quiring a certain and efficient tnnm: rsnrrinllv 7nriTrfiVrri 7),,m..,'.. r mitlent Feva-3, Want of Apptiile. Lost of the blood, strengthens tlio muscles, and licadaohc. Bold by all druggists. "Write for tho ABO Book, 82 pn. of useful and amusing reading sent free. BROWN CHEMICAL CO., Baltimore, Md. TTE CARBON ADVOCATE PLAIN AND FANCY BOOKs JOB PRIHTINB HQDE BANKWAY, a short distance above the I.ehlKh Valley ll.R, Ucnot, LEHIGHTON. PA. We ara now fully prepared to execute every description ef PRINTING, Irom a Mil Card to aLaree Poster! rosters. Handbills, Dodgers, Circulars' SlilppldB Tags, Cards, Bill Heads, Letter Heads, 'Kote Heads, ' Envelopes, Statements, Programmes, - -h Pamphlets, te &o., In Best Manner, at Reasonable Prices ! 'YOU A Cough or a Cold, and Want to Get UfJRED QUICKLY, Get A 25 cent Bottle of Synqp of Tar, W1ML Cherry ana 'HoarliQMl. For sale bv Druggists generally throughout tha country. dcclO yl We mntluue to act aa Solicitors for Pat ents, Caveats, Trade Marks, Cojiyrlghts.etc, for the United States, Canada, Cuba, Eng land, France, Germany, etc. We have had THIBTT-rlVK TUBS KXrtaUKCK. l'utents obtained lbroiic.li us are noticed !"" Address MUNN & CO., Patent Sollc ' I'0", Publishers uf Scmsiririo Ahuuioan, 1 37 rark now, New York. Hand book about i!v5?JLl 111104 iJt5JSu bninfw now befcre the pub tin. You run n.lk. n.oiinv (aster tt won for ujtli.ii at anr thing el.o. Capital cot iieeceu eniauisvou. ttSaaayandnpw rasmsdeath.-metiytheln. I Ml,'. '-. MVUi nu.WN, IWJ. HU. .111. niUIWJ vrrywhers to work for tia. Now it Ui time. 1 You oju work in sparo tim onl or giro ynur "UOlB t IOO to IL tOSIKSJ. TOUCUllVSat home uua Aa the wort. No oin.r bua'niwa wl 1 pay rou nearly as well Nouuecanfauotiuaie f'"irJu,'u,.r',JL',T "";" -. .. - , , . ., i v prw iu cp.. au. gusta, Mauit, ucclOyl Miss M. S. SNYDEH, Respectfully announces to her lady friends that she has just received a full line of the latest novelties in FALL & "WINTER GOODS, Feathers, Notions, anil DltESS TRIMMINGS TONIC Strength, Lack of JZncrgy, etc Enriches give3 new lifo to tho nerves. They net iptoms, such Tlio only The New YorkSlffl, for 1882. Tnr. SuK fur 1882 will make Its firtetmth annual revolution under tho prosent manairo. inent, shlnlnir, as always, for all. bin and lit tle, mean and irracluus, contenttd and un happy. Republican nnd Ucmocratlc,depraved and vlrtaous, IniclllRcnt nnd obtuse. Tub Sun's Unlit (slur injnklnd and womankind of every sort j but Us genial warmth Is lor the iroul, wlillo It pours hot dlscomrort on tho bllslerlnir backs or the persistently nicked. Tiik Sun ol 1888 was a newspaper of a new kind, it discorded many oTtlio forms, and a mullltudo on lie superfluous words and phi as. es ol nnclcnt Journalised. It uniortook to ro port In a Iresli, sucolnct.unconventtonal way all the news or tho world, omlttlnx no event or human Interest, and commenting upon uf. fairs with tho rearlcssncs or nbsofuto Inde. lendence. Tho succccs or I tils experiment was tho success of Tim SUB. It eiiccted a permanent chanKO In the stylo or American newspapers. Every Important Journal estab Ished In tills eounlry In tho dozen years past lias been modelled after Tim Srm. Every Important Jouranl already exlsllnn has been modified and bottorcd by the force of THE Hun'8 example. Thk Sum ri882 will he the samo outspoken, truth-teillnir, and Interesting newspaper. Uy a liberal use of tho means which an abundant prosperity affords, we shall make It hotter than ever before. We shall print all the news,, putting It Into readable shape,nnd measuring its ImuorUnce, not by the traditional yardstick, but by, Its roal interest to tho peoplo. Dsianco from rrlnllnu HousoSnuaro is not tho first con- riuuiuumi wiin iiiK oun. wiionevtr any. tiling happens worth reporting wo got the pnrilculiirs, whether it happens In Brooklvn or Bokhara. ' In politics wo havo decided opinions and rro acouslomcd tocxircss them In lanuuaio that can be understood. Wo say what ws think about men and events. That hn bit Is the only secret of Tim Sun's political course. Tiik Wbkklt Sun iinthcrsln oelulit pages the best matter of the sevon dally Issues. An Agriculture Department or unequalled mer it, lull market reports, and n liberal propor tion of literary, scientific, and domestic In tellUenee complete Thk Wkei.lv Sun, and miiholttbe Ust newspaper for tho farmer's household that.was ever printed. Who docs not know and read nnd liko The Sunday Sun, each number of whloli Is a (Joicondaof Interesting literature, with the best poetry ur the day, proo every lino worlli reading, nes, humor m.ttter enough to fill a good. sized book, and Inilnitoly moro varied and entertaining lhan any book, big or little? If our Idea oTwhnt a newspaper should be plei-ses you, send ror Tiik Sun. tlur terms are as follws: For tho dally Rust, a four page sheet of fc . ! ' r,Kii uuiuuiii", mo price oy mall, post paid, Is u cenis a monih, or $e 60 a year i cr, including tho Sunday paper, an eight.pago sheet of nltv-slx columns, ihe price is 06 cents per monih, or T70 a year, postage paid. The Sunday nil! Ion ol Tim un is also fur nlshed sepaialeiyat 81 VOnyenr.posiagepald The prheof tho Wkkkly SuN.elirhtljages Itfty'Slx columns, is tl a year, postage paid, lor clubs or ten sending 10 wo will send an extra ropy Tree. Address , w ENGLAND, Publltherof Tim SUN, New York City. Noy.i2.w8. No Patrnt No Pay. PATENTS obtained for Inventors In the United States Canada nnd Kurope, at reduced rates. With our principal ofBco located In Washington, directly opposite the United States Patent Olllce, wo aro able to attend to all patent nusincss with greater promptnets and de- spatch and at less cost than oilier patcut at torneys who are at a distunes from Wash- Inglon, and who have, therefore, to employ " associate attorneys." We make preliminary examinations and furnish opinions as to pa tentublliiy, I fee of charge, and all who are Interested In not Inventions and patents aro Intlted to send for a copy ol our "Uulde for ('Obtaining Patents," which Is sent free tn any address, and contains comilcta Instruc tions how to obtain pa.tcnta nnd other valua, ble matter. We refer to tho Oerman-Auicr-lean National Bank, Washington, D. O.j the Jtoyal Swedish. Norwegian and Danish Lega tions, at Washington! Hon. Jos. Uasey, late tlhlei Justice U. S. noun -or Claims: to the Olticials of tlio U. S Patent OSice, and tu oiimiurr uiiu meiuocrs ol congress from overy State. Address: LOUIS HAUOi:i fc CO., So. Ilcllors or Patents and Attorneys at Law, Lo Droit Building, Wasuinoton, D. (J. Saloon Keepers and Otas, Don't (all to buy your Champaigne Pear Cider, Lager Ueer, Root' Beer, Nectar, Porter, &c, or C. BOETTGER, TAMAQUA, Pa. Aug. 13, 18Sl-Iy. . $500 Reward I WK will pay the above reward for any caso of Liver Complaint, Dyspepsia, Sick Iliad, ache, Indliteslluu, Constipiilun orCoallrrness we cannot cure with West's Liver Vegetable Pills, when the directions are strictly com. plied with. They are purely Vegetable, and never tail lo give satisractluu Sugar loated. Large boxes, containing SO Pills. -Z5 cents I'orsalo by all UruguUts. Beware or coun terfeits and Imitations. The genuine manu. !JS!.Mre.AM?lir.bjr J.ollN - WKsr k co. "fhc Pill Makers " 181 fc m w .Madison St., Chicago, tree trial packaga sent bv wall prepaid on receipt ora cent sumii ..f.'."". "ne k Vo- Wholesalo Agents, Phlluilelphla, Pa. so t. 31. 'Cl.Jy. A 0XHT3 V7A1ITSI lor tha Hct and Fastest lilblra Priori li Selling Plcturlal Books and Bibles reduced 33 Her cent. National Puhllib-ng Co., Philadelphia, Pa, inur-ui3 iS fWalci. filamWlB-l. ti.! WMlMlinuRllD liudlibsniXiiiiiw. WlJitutd.skCusMBt Jonuary .v,i8!il'jl VARIETIES. Repentance is remorse discounted. Bologna is the link that unites man With the brute. Wit is a merchandise that is sold but can never be bought. Will CnTlcton, the miter of farm ballads, never lived on a farm i Too much sensibility creates tlhhappiness; too mucll insensibility creates crime. Varieties of mere noth ings give more pleasure than uniformity of something. A young lady who was squeezed between two freight cars says it felt just like trying on a pair of new corsets. Amounts to the same. The man who stops his paper to economize ought to cut hU nose off to keep from buying handkerchiefs. Compositors are almost always intelligent men. They are men of letters who literally pick up their knowledge as they go along. One of the experts at Washington said "he couldn't understand Guiteau." It is rumored that the Sheriff will get the hang of him. A Cincinnati woman, Si years old, makes up so that no one judges her to be over 40. Paint, powder, dye and false hair will work wonders. Pew rent is coming down in Brooklyn, and hopes arc entertained that some day the Gospel will be within tlio reach of people of moderate means. The pistol and knife are altogether too handy in this" country, as is evidenced by the large crop of murders for the New Year, although it is only a fortnight old. Keyhole caution: When a man is about to be told a secret he shuts the door. When it is a woman she opens it to bo sure no one is listening outside. , A New Haven girl eats half a pound of cloves daily. She must be a spicy sort of a young woman. But when she gets a husband will she cleave or clove to him. It is a very pretty figure to speak about going from pole to pole, but nothing ex cept the atmosphere- has ever succeeded in doing that un less we except also repeaters at an election. Peck, of Peck's Sun helped an old lady off the cars, at some Western station three" or four years ago and she died last month and left him'$22,- 000 in bonds Confederate 7 per cent. A Massachusetts Judge has decided that the ringing 01 a church bell at 5 o'clock in the morning is a nuisance. The man who has to ring the bell must have come to that conclusion long ago. The first daily newspaper appeared in 1702. The first newspaper in the United States was published in Bos ton, Sept. 25, 1 790. The first religious newspaper, the Bos ton Record, was published in 1815. An Irishman being asked on a late trial for a certificate of his marriage, exhibited a huge scar on his head, which looked as though it might have been made by a fire shovel. The evidence, was satisfactory. Hayes continues to be heard from occasionally, but what is said of him don't amount to much. He will be remembered in history as the man who occupied the - White House during the four years the United States had no President. The latest female idea is a dress album in which is painted a sample of every dress tho owner wears, with the date of her first appear ance in it. It might facilitate keeping the family accounts if the price and cost of making were also noted. Thomas Nast makes a policeman say to flunkey of a New York private house which receives New Year's rails. "Won't you close up now, please 1 All the real grog shops shut up hours -ago." ' Subscribe for the Advo cate, only $1 per anuum. t
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers