; SAMUEL W.RIGHT, Editor and Proprietor. VOLUME XXXI, NUMBER Li ,PUBLISIIED EVERY SITURDAY MORMYR Office in Carpel Hill, Narile-zoc3icorner of ',vat and Locust Term of S 3.'33oription. Jae Copy pc I annum.' r “th,-..ce • II olot paid wifitin I hree 13210111i1t . rom co mnaeneenirsi no ft r. 200 Clast.t.es oc:ozzo - 3r. No. übseripiiou I eceiVell tO• I. .IX moi,ll;4s; oudno paper will lIC li.rnnlrnurd UIIII. ell arretitegeruee puid,unle,o-tt Ills opt iOllOl the pub /slier. 11..loney nayi,e•emittedb y rnai I ep pr's risk. Rates of Advertising, squis r [Ol i flex] oeir wee/. week •,•11 i!...quenntisertioo. 10 [l.2' week in three. weeks. I 110 rt. each to It.ocuton a maertion • 25 trnMe•lthrorti.oment.p proportion A !Otero I llarounttnil ibe orindo to quonprly.ll.ll Early or • trl) I..r..riiaer:..tho are ,Lrietl)confilivil o their ,111,1i0rias, DR. HOFFER., T)ENTIST.---OFFICE, Front Street 4th door ,rom Lorwts. over ...oyloor Niel/wen d'. o more Col.orrobo Pu. [Erna so tunce, souffle a. Joolle) 1 . rho logrAph Grollery. [August 21 7 1859. TTICHIT AS NV F; lUSTICE OF THE PEACE, Columbia, Pa. a OFFD'R. in Whipper's New Building. below Block'• Bowl. l'ront ,greet. rEr"Prompt allention given to all business entrusted to Ids cure. November es, 1857. 11. DI. NORTH, A TTORNIY AND cauxsELLon AT LAM' Columina . Cnnerno.l%.l rnmptly ennde i nLn new+ te and Yorl Unnniem Columbia, uy 4, 1930. T. w. visriEß, Attorney and Counsellor at Law, Columbia. COiUMIIIII. Seplr.!. Lir r Is. 1...56•11 S. Atlee Bcckius, D. D. S. 11nAt• • fdCKSt the Operative Suretettl stml Nleelr,e I'rparuu••nl. of Dettit.tol. uersrx bow. , a. he Freak lin Ilou-i tied Po, (Wit,hitithia. :day 7 -.19 GUSTAVUS HEGIY!AN, Professor of ABEkg mid Illodern Languages DI ADAM ill I4RGM AN Teacher of Vocal and Ingrumental Music- Walout street oho., Vrnist, -oath ride. Culutnt... Muy 12 1:.60. 9' °MATO PI LIN.-- Ext met of Tonal ors; o 4,llititite landlonic F•.r-air ni .1 DE1.1.1.71'1' St 7,O'S Mortar Drott Dre 3 MO 11HOOMS.--1110 Du—Brooms, at W1101(101 ur 111 I'P Ull.l = SINE'S Compound of syrup of 'fir, Wild Ch., ry mm llotirlommtl, tor the rule .1 Cou4li• Colds, Whooping Coup,lo.elolo.&f . . For. ,:e a I%k•lnlt Al.lifi DF.I,I.I7FF'S Flintily Medicine rtioro. Odd Fetiow.' to tor r 23. 1.54. patent Steam Wash Hullers. TIIEs we:II know.' 1.1011.r+ Ore k.pt ean-inntly blind nt 1.1 , a itt.p:fre, 11.nru.t.treet,opno.ue the Vr.1411. lin House Columbia, July 1,+57. lints for sale by the bushel or larger quail WY V B. F. A P 1.01.1). Cnlnmb in D:•c 4.5. 19.55. llnnal Da•u:. rUSI" in store. a fresh lot of Breintg colearated Vegeta . :le Cattle ron der. nod for sate by IL- W 11.1.1.1115. Front street, C.aa Sept. 17.1 E-59. Harrison's Co umbian Ink if IIICII I. n -uperinr urliclr, pertnntientlVlnek Ind tint eorio Ong iht• pelt. evil he had in ;to% lire 11rdu•rto :More, :nit! Ll.4cLes S et i+ lint Ens;11.11 II I•ult.lr. On Hand i" :nl N r: ° r 4irwit M grtlurti digbyre dueling snit pain...pa-m..11c action Stan iu very Aunt time. Pun I,llr . l, R. %VILMA:US. 5erd.17.1m59. Prom 01,0. EDDING & CO'S Rassla Salve! This ex irinin.4 pnpubrt rein.ly to; the cure 111 ex:, Cu.. sialauelit. 14 1.1. W ler -.in. hy H. %VILMA AIS, Prom at.. Columbia. cis - rum:a; Pun .•,. (j 111 1 .; riloor 1....Lf.• .o.d I. of 11-I.on I • molo IL nod lime... ill ahlr I. In val.% Ihr 1111,1 , 1.11 of ih. public. He lu prepared In pail loom up .or ts, In ra utistantial and enduring manner 13. PFA111.1:11. Derembrr 12.1537 _ Just Received and For Sale, (1/t BP.- Ground P 10.0..; 511 1.1.1.. Extra I anvils ..+GG Inur; :!5 41.1, No. 1 Lard 011 of quuloy. JUL Una. Ground Munn n.r A prot,n. N" r.! eattal NTO ch t2G, Y•G or, Boad'N Boston Crarkrrs, for ...• 1 14.4..: ra..• II (Pr I- V 1,11.- .1,, ."11VIC, Is, !MI NE CROP ..EEDLESS RAISINS. • ; mg- • t•udditi_....c —.l fry... ...NA) of II ..A f: rue rr , top I:ortier I . ront thilun rU Nov ID 1 ,t.l. Seelless Raisins! 1..) - 1. of %et., clto ce -15 di•• • It 1-1014.14.1 1.11 N0v.19, '59. Gr. cety S.ote. No 71. 1,. cull SHAKER CORN JUST 'Peri 1..0, o Io r . r retro II C, oro'rr Slorr. corn, Foost nod Coon, -t. Nov. 20 14.59. SPALDING'S PREPARED GLUE.—The want or "ch , r4o•i••1:1•11.1). Isola 110‘11 1 t V,l . 00 -uppited; rot in. tiding to.niturr. wom. o,n MirSO:4l WWI" •oolong superior. We hay,. found n 11.610 in ni ooy • eirtiwe4 wilieh bast• bee. u•ries4 for ineuih4. You Jon 2Cill 11.41 the ia.nunA syrofts. AFIRST-RITE article of Dried Beef, and of ham, elm be 1.0001 ol _ EBERLE' VS Grn,...ry '1 , 44,7.0 10, ISGO, No. 71 Locu.t ctreet CIIOICE TEAS, Block and Green, of differ , w it varteues. A cte+ii Im jipt ref•eived nt I.I:II.E.I,ILEIN's Siore. Ala rch 19, I EGO, No. 71 I..ciDt 4reet rrw PATE OF SIR JOHN FRANKLIN, the an thorized edition 11' cCLuturk. 1.1 Ice L.A.). k4)0t 11 .11* oa the Boundary of Anotter Wor ld-•. Trice,ol.23 Memoirs of Carvosea. Prier, 40 coots. ELIAS HARR & Opposite Court House. Feb. 11 LTON'S C ITAWRA BRANDY.--A gerp -upereor and genuine a flirt/. for mrdiensal par . 7. S. ora.t.crr &co, Ascots for Columbia. FREI IRON AND SMEIZIII I qum Subscriber. have receigrod a New mind Lame .L stock of all kind. and size. of • BAR IRON AND STEEL I Tare constantly supplied with pock in this branch business. and can loofah it to =roomers in large Or email quantities, at the lowest rates J. RUMPLE SON. Aptil2s, Locust street below Second, Columbia, Pa. 87 50 [The "Dice be , in vernito- heeler lamer than any thing el, withe who, r nice of 111.1/11,411 11 C./I WO, 1111 1111 po,lh y fine .• of CCI.IIIO, 11 .111.1 . 1 11311/ 1 liar low I•lleit10. TIP° or Ind soul t. rr h r efferi with wli c 1 in tkreilie`. I , m -t. certain Plllll2 poem we m •ele m f oil like Intender csr 111.• ear. ape) er cent!, Al.e.g aloe Mune an 1 It. 1144 A-. elm 111,4 1 . 110,151p..C1% CLrei 111.11 iteeself e- faeni•tar 1,. tiemo t every n.e ir ,u.ho en now 0116•11.11 WU. HMI., o n e. r tII emp.e*4l.o 111,1 E•or ver-onis oeve urel floor • her ie.. (rem he u etre grime reri Thi- imp.e.teloo 0.0.‘ n o t goil.. eer.ec. The," e. avo si .11 ley Dr N;ori..w t c however. t-, pr •.C•1111 . 1•1.1111.11. unarq wiu le I- ill. al.-a•ly 'Militia It I. will n den re to comp-le .1111 t.ei-. hu fr 011 Ire Mu the Cll.l 10 he 11 11111. a !Oleo nigh I.llref.. C 104 .111111 nn. eir r his it value. tit et Ille f nlowaig aureola i• Der of auger. day of wonder. 'When the cold -ha I roll Quel.elied in Lee used egtioke and thunder! EMI O ra- t honrt-rending Of Ilan hour alien •• lb a. Catlin:, And her jeu lows J udyr de•cendmg When the trumpet'• valve n-oundetit, Tnrcagn vunh'• -rpulchn•e reboundettl, Summons univer-ul nountloth! Death astoni , died, Nature shaken, See , nil t•renture• as they sval.eu, To that dire tribunal taken. im! the beck, at here nit is hoarded Not a -err. t unrecorded ; Every doom is thence awarded. Po ihe Judge, when he urraignetb, Every hidden thing explaineth: Nothing uttuvengeti reittametia. In flint fiery revelation 'here shall I make ouppllention, When thejust both -curve mut s.uion I Taunt °Move, °rend King supernul, F. eely giving life eternal, Fate me from the pain. w(•rnal. P. a. Thies forget rot, rwe.t Life-giver, Me thou ...attest to deliver: Cast me rot stray forever! Serhing me thy sad life Ist , ted, On the cro's tletttli's pains were tested, Lst not Intl Isle this b•: wasted: Ged of riehleou , reigthutinit, .1113 itaL nnsolut on Ere u r ala's loot ca :001100! 0.1 With 1.11t.0 Grounanaz. an nay gui't ateetaacnl I. 4 antre an ;MU!, with borrOW ➢y the Dh•lgdairn•• forgiven, 13) the ding robber .haven, I, lon rhen•h hope of heaven Thum:h my pruye, ore full of f tiling Wince me. of tity grdee Finn thept of en Pettit On thy rigid a pl ice ptoei V. ella Ilty elmeeii be•i In m.•: nom !lie gout•, good Lold divide me =1 n to p not fire two d•ivt•o Th-s • will/ V4 - o.liti not le folgiven, Galt me wi h t,ty s Mule 01000e0 Kneeling erußhell Iteori h.•(nre thee, Std told -aria on: I :More thee: m me. I implore thee! Blackwood s Eliotburgh Magazine. Siient, the Lord r,l the world Eyes final the heavenly h. ight Gi t by lei , ler shining train, mho with banners unfurl') I , .ght Mally chatted fiiint 111adly i.eiow to ,he TLeu a.lO , he I.,rd to hi+ (rol: )e the b title Tuilnon urib alb and a birth! Too long let We ahem g•oml, Ila•te. arise ye. and yo; Cully toy peace upon earth." C;l+,d'y thry ri•e nl Lis call; G 1.401) Ow% !Ake h - command; Ul. lR do•cood to Ii pain. A 1.! 11, %VII/ all— w eel V .to.—hall -.and ;Ito.r %la.< r &Agin": Som • lie din 110. Uil :ere Ineil; • J. Leo they ly; Some pueou deelW heath; Oth••rr—the br.• ve.t eroso.', On the height their holt nt t o w d any, ❑y the anti ,U./1 na•ritc of Death. !DWI), hardly •hail ince Cow , . bri -hi. Cl'. r Otr c ond.wrapt.p,[totz• rfain, .•t r.. 1111 eli Sale dt.ouch th • -look.• col the figLl, 1im016.0 to Muelet 114;“111. .11rsgazine. If any race of Inca weal l bo ja,tified in it-suiting the position of chronic grumbler, and praisers of the time past, I rdally think the barbers would. how are the barber, fallen 1 One by one, their privileges hate been wrested from them; they have been supplanted even in the muter of gossip; the fabrication of canards has been trans ferred to the penny a lino; the red and white pule is as scarce as good Madeira; and the barber appears with diminished bend, but still luxuriant locks, under the odious name of hair-dresser. They certainly form IVorshipf•tl C)mptny, amt they have a hall. They meet occasionally, and go on eating end drinking from ab tut 4 o'clock in the afternoon until what time at night i, best known to the policemen on that beat : and they commit greats laughter, if there be any truth iu those human sandwiches which everywhere coal ont one t amongst the Russian bears. Nevertheless, their glory is departed. They figured in the good old times in the works of historians, poets, dramatists, and novellas; but now they are clean forgotten The date ut their introduction from Sicil3 into Rome by Meitas occupied the atten • of Vern) and Pliny. There is scarcely u (flay of Plautn wherein is no mention of a barber; Terence is rery much indebted to the barber's shop ; and their name, their office, and their abodes are immortalized in the verses of Horace, Juvenal, and Martial. litittrls. Dies Ira) Men of Genius BY 31.17T1.! EbY A nNoLto gEltction,s. A Chapter an Barbers "NO ENTERTAINMENT IS SO CHEAP AS READING, NOR ANY PLEASURE SO LASTING." COLUMBIA, PENNSYLVANIA. SATURDAY MORNING, AUGUST 11, 1560. Is not the whole of the seventh chapter of the semnd book of Gil Blas token up with the Efilhdre do gir,:on. borbierY Who doe , it feel personally indebted to the race of barbers, when he thinks of the Barber of Saville? Had they not been in existence, what weal have beco.no of Sir AValter Scott? How could he have supplied the place of Caxton in the Antiquary, and Oli ver to Dalai in Quentin Durward? L ui- XL would have been nothing without Lis burlier. But, new-a-days, you mny read whole volumes of pi etry without so !noel as an allusion to them; you may attend every kind of Cleats() and hear every sort of play, and yet find no vestige of a barbel: and few are the novels in which they du ser vice. Mireuver, the men of the presen generation, nut content with ruining the barber's trade by selli , bly shaving them selves, have taken also to cutting their own nails, or biting them, which, if not so seemly, is a shorter process, and equally rubs the ill-used barber of his ancient office of nail-cutter. It is brooding over all his wrongs and recalling his past honors, when his shop was the club where loungers chat. ted, the mint where scandal was coined, and even the school where music was practised, that, in my opinion, gives to the modern barber or hair cutter so melancholy an expression ; for he always wears a melancholy expression, and his constant sighing (I suppose) induces aspiration, of the vussels; at least, I covet met a barber yet who didn't when he pit anything like a pace un in his talking, aspirate must un necessarily. Even when he has gut up his own head exactly after the fashion ul the wax-figure that el•rv:le revolves in his win dow: when his ham has been brushed, and combed, and greased, and curled, until it :assumes the most unnatural appearance in the world; when his whiskers have been .rimmed, and crimped, and twisted, until they meet at the point of the chin, winking Ms face like a semi-eclipse; when his im perial drops down with costly unguents; and ,vhen his moustache has been waxed until t looks as though it were too tight for aim—even under these circumstances, he doesn't look quite happy; he seems to have -ante sorrow tau deep fir 'air-oil, some griel beyond the reach of bear's grease. From what I have observed, and from what I have myself endured, I have become actaated towards hair dressers by feelings of mangled hatred and terror. I know it is quite unjustifiable, unreasonable, and even wicked, to hate any one of my Cello w-erea tures, and us a Christian I strive against it; but it is equally my duty its a Christian to speak the truth, cud therefore I must con• fess that I don't succeed. Nelson is re ported to have pre.iche I to his sailors in this wise: •'L ive your enemies, my lads; whatever you do, love your enemies; but mind ye—hate a Frenchman." Su it is with tile; I love my fellow-creatures, but I nate hair-dressers; and I'm sure they re• turn the compliment with interest; for I YhaVO myself; I use no Circassian cream lye, or hair•wash; I buy a bottle of real Eto dc-Cologne about once a century; I lave loag ag I renuuacel banduline and all is works ; my hair-brushes, tooth•brushes, nail-brushes seem never to wear out; my tuoth-p twder is camphoratul chalk, of a an nonce costs something riilieulou-ly small, and lasts about a year; and, to sum up. 1 have toy hair cut no ofte..er than once a month, and never nay tome tllOll sixpence fne hair-dressers, therefore, return my hate. I say, with interest; and I forgive them with all my hert, for I am not a profitable mistomer. I a lso teat' them, which is un •n tidy; but I cannot help that; it's a Con stitutional infirmity. Taera arc twine ill. -eats which put me to flight in a moment; f I'm no entinn dogist, and am in In trial dread of the Cimex leckleareul, fr o nt which I run away with celerity. I have heard on good authority that the pluckiest man in a certain Highland regiment %%mild turn tail iit the eight of a black cat, and therefore I don't mind acknowledging my weakness, and admitting honestly th:.t I'm afraid of the barber or hairolresser, and that I liver round the door of hisshim for ninny minutes without daring to venture in. It is the !lints, and inuendos, and covert violence to which you are subjected, that set my neta es in a flutter. I wouldn't mink it if they'd ts.ault you unmistakably and i penly; you'd know what course to pursue under those e'r.minstances; but to be beatou with a couple of hard brushes about the hen. 1, ears. nose and eyes till your head burns, your ears redden. your eyes smart, and your nose very nearly bleeds, on the pretence that you are only getting what you are fairly entitled to for your sixpence—whereas you know perfectly well that you are the victim of long pint-up passion, and that you are feeling the vengeance of the man whose grease and scents you have despised—places you in a dilemma which produces uneasi ness. which is allied to nervousness, which is akin to fear. All a hair-dresser's arrangements nppear to me to be , with a view to intimida tion; I dare ray I am wrong; still, that is my candid opinion. Zlsa why should a man's nerves be played upon by theta as they are? You pus'. the door open, and there is immediately a scattily, sound, as though you had broken something expen sive, though it is in reality nothing but the shrill click of &spring or some other detec table piece of mechanism intended to em phasise a customer's entrance; then a young lady comes forward and bows, which is awkward when you intend to spend only ixperice; then, if your presence of mind doesn't utterly desert you, you bow, and mutter that you're only going to have your hair cut; upon which she smiles, as if you had said n good thing, rings a bell, and re quests you to walk up stairs. Next you find yourself in the presence of two or three uncommonly fine heads of hair, who show all their teeth except one or two at the hack, and brandish a comb in one hand, and a thing like a piece of chintz curtain in the other. One of the trio hands you n chair; sets you berme a looking•glass, which re flects all your deformities; tucks the bit of chintz into your collar as though you were a baby going to take arrow-root; and by a gentle nressure of the thumb, faces your head into the most eligible position for be ing guillotined. lle thereupon milts you how you would like it cut, and if you are at all particular about your personal appear :nice, you had better take cure how you answtr this question. Nine persons out of ten, I have remarked, say that they would like it rather short behind; and this, I should think, from observation, is as safe a reply ns any. Once, under the impression that he ought to know his business better than myself, I made the reckless response tint I didn't care—he had better suit him self; and he certainly paid me out. When I looked at myself in the mirror after the operation woe over, I scarce repressed a cry of horror. NVith a laudable intention I suppo•e, of giving me a good six-penny worth he had reduced me to a vet italic scarecrow. [lad 1 robbed his till, arid been committed to prison, there alight have been 50111 C excuse f•r the treatment; as it was. I was a libel upon honest men. My hat would no longer fit me; my features ap peared to have become supernaturally prominent; my ears presented :in elongated Appearance; my friends passed the in the street; and, when I stripped them, with nn injured air requested proof of my individu ality. Moreover, the operator onkel me, with a look of triumph, if troy {Nir wet e •liort enough, and whether I wanted any thing else. Hereupon, I was overwhelmed with confusion, hurriedly answered in the negatke, slunk through the dour, and re gretted that 1 had no tail, by the insertion of which between my logs I might more completely express my sense .. of hnmilin tion. If you have a comfianion or two un der the shears, your own suffering's are heightened or alleviated according to the natural disposition of your own particular shearer. If he be a man of n flattering tongue, who has confidence that by adroit adulation he will succeed in seeding yeti away sorrowfully laden with undesired essences. you have the pull of your fellow patients: "No difficulty in finding your partin', sir; 'air parts of itself. Your sir, is remarkable fine 'air, sir. With a !cote of our pomade once or twice a week, it 'ud 'ave quite a silky appearance; mid the partite down the back o' the 'cad beats corlin'. Wavy 'air, sir, with a nice clean partin' (such as a leetle drop of our 'air wash twice a week 'od perduee,)'in my opinion heats heverything. Take a hectic oil' the whiskers, sir? Thank you, sir.— We've a particularly nice article for the whiskers, sir; keeps 'em from gettin' knot ty." Such are the soothing; phrases which he pours into y o ur ears, causing your neighlsws to cast sidelong glances betreeen the clips at the Intingon beside them, with sandy hair tolwut the texture of hay. and with reddish ‘‘hiskers just visible without the assistance of n microscope; and if you are astute enough to parry his artful thrusts. without counnitting yourself to a downright promise to buy, you may escape from his hands and his shop well shorn nod sennticss to hoot, but as you ruble your good-looks, never venture into that bather's clatChe4 again. 'You'll find ••rt man may smile, and stalk and be a villain:" hsoll look delight• ed to see you. but believe me you'll nit he delighted to sec yourself when you come out. Your, ghearer, nn the other band, rnny, and often does, adopt 11Fyliterll of indirect compulsh n —of moral ball 3 ir fie nct. fllilles a idand sneer, and ninkestinplea.ant efleetionl upon your natural gifts it rid acquired Inrhira, either i'y the word-4 he ti.e4 or the line of action he pursues f. ,r in stance, I have heard a coll,qtly Let ween a t..n4or and his patient after the folluwlng idshion: Tunsor. Your 'air is very loose, sir—very loose. Patient. What do you menu ? Ton. Why, it conies out very easy, sir; falls out, I may say. Put. Well. I believe it does, rather. Ton. You 'aven't 'ad a fever lately, sir, 'ave you ? rat. (testily.) No, I haven't; never had a fever. Ton. Very extraordinary. I should 'a said you'd 'ad a fever. I never saw a gentleman's 'air come out so easy. You don't wash your 'ead very frequently, sir, I should say. Pat. (uneasily.} ?".'. I 4"; quite fre quently enough. Thy do yon think I don't? You don't mean to say it's dirty I hope ? Ton. (apologetically). OM dear, no, sir, nut at all, sir; hut London is such a very smoky place., you get all sorts of dust and grit into the 'air almost without know ing it, sir; and there's nothing like washing ths 'cad with oold water, for etreagtheoing the 'air. Bat then you, hooght to apply something hurter it, for fear of tul.•ing cold, sir—some sort of vegetable preparation.— We've a very nice article here, sir; price half a crown. It prevents mild (quoting from an advertisement), stimulates the 'ealthy action of the skin, strengthens the roots of the 'air, and prevents it from falling off. Put. I'll take a bottle. Ton. (accompanying the patient tl the shop, and glancing victoriously at the young lady who takes the money). 'Air cut, miss, and a bottle of the vegetable wash. Some:lines tensor catches a Tartar, iu the shape of a choleric person, who does'nt like hear the melodious words "scurf" and "dandrafr—particularly when the caco phony of the latter is intensified by being pronounced '"ecuff''-applied to hint. In this ea,e the patient has an evident rash of blood to the faze, titans up from his chair, at the imininent peril of his ear-tips, and informs tunsur that "he came to have his hair cut. and nut to heir re.marke upon the state of his skin," and that if tonsor ' P eatt't cut it without 'wilting tiunsens-, he'll go to sumebudy who can " Cp m this, Tensor 1.1 reduced to silence, and iedolges is the vuieeless vengeance of scarifying his cus tomer's head with a couple of hard brushes, according to the plan already mentione I. This saute choleric persun, at his exit, so far from complying with tonsor's reasunable request that he should purchase a bottle of the vaunted 'air wash, mutters that "as he &asha want to have his hair turned green. or blue, or any other conspicuous color,• he thinks he'd better not;" and in seal itchy atnli tile gutturals condemns the man, and the wash, and the suents, mid the whole place, in succinct but powerful language. I I have called this a self shaving genera -1 tion, and so for the must part it is; still I there are people Whu ape the antique, and get them‘okes shot cd by the barber, and I those people number among them young as well as old. With respect to the latter, I have nothing whatever to say: I respect grey hairs; and if an octogenarian likes having his nose palled by a thumb and flu. ger redolent of rancid grease, he is perfectly lat liberty, pace men, to do so. Still I :arm I positively that there is nu occasion whine% er to lav kik& of a man's nose whilst, as the French say, one is making his beard, or, As we should more Cot reedy express it, one is taking his beard off. Indeed, I appeal to lail self•shaving, person to declare whether he ever takes hold of his principal feature during the operation of rasure, and whether he doesn't rather put his left baud a•kiinhu I upon his left hip, stick his chin oat, eurn• press his lips, and, in fact, perform upon himself in a totally different manner front that of the professional barber, greatly to the advantage of his sense of smell, his power of breathing, and his general freedom of attitude? For suppose a man under the intiuencout professbaial shaving, to want to Iswallow—and men do sometimes want to swallow fur no perceptible reason beyond I the practice of that tolerably cummunplace accomplishment—Or to have a cold, and to feel called upon saddenly to use his pocket handkerchiet ; it is at the risk of a serious ga-h upon either his chin or his thorax that he .attempts the one or the other. However. granting, for the s.tkoof argument, that the prufesbional barber 14 obliged to pull your 1,0,e, and twist it forcibly from bide to side, I want to know why he shouldn't do it with clean fingers. Let the barbers wash their hands, I say, and manipulate my nose with isiodorous digits, whither I choose to have it pulled far sixpem.e, threerence, or even three halfpence. 1.3 n t to the young man who objects to shav ing himself, and, from a dielike of trouble, or an inexemmble nervousness, prefers to submit to the tender mercies of a barber, I acsuine a tone of harsh rebuke. I don't know wlm he is, or how big ho is, and he claret know how big I 41111, :nod therefore I've no hesitation in calling him a lazy dog, if he declines selfsrasure on troublesome grounds; and if un the grounds of nervous ness, I say he has no business to be so ner vous at his age, and I accuse him at once of living an improper life, of keeping late hours, of taking more wine then is good for him, and of smoking strung tobacco; and I maintain that ail the contumely he meets with whenever he goes to be !hayed, is nu more than lie richly deserves. Arid let him not suppose that, however ferocious his moustache, and however strong his board, he will escape unpleasant remarks. I have seen young men with an unexceptional bi ceps and general muscular appearance, writhing under barbaric torture. "You've a very funny colored moustache, air,"l heard it malignant barber once remark to his victim; "I don't think I ever see such a funny color." And the victim dared not open his mouth at this dubious compliment, for he didn't like the taste of soap-suds. The face of that herculean fellow, who wants to sneeze. and feels confident of a deep incision if ho does, is awful to beheld; his features swell, he grows quite purple, and the help. hils manner in which he stretches out his hands would molt any heart but a barber's. A barber cannot comprehend that a man who is being shaved can have any other re quirements until that is over; the fly that tickles you into fits is all unheeded by biro; the lather that gets up yens nose is all in the way of business; and you bad better get all your coughing done while he is whetting his razor. Nor need you expect any sympathy from him if he should hsp• $1,50 PER YEAR IN ADVANCE; $2,00 IF NOT IN ADVANCE pen to cut you; bell only tell you, should, you complaia), that "sour face is very pimp ly," and that "the hair"—meaning the! annosphere—"wilt soon stop the Weed.' ing,." After all, my chief objection to barbers is. the antipathy they invariably display to wards the tint of my chevelurc; and yet it is, a very pleasant tint, I think, and, at any rate, it is the natural tint, 1 , hich nothing. will ever persuade me is nut the best; yet I seldom or never submit to tonsure but I see a man stealthily approaching my whiskers with a tooth-brush dipped in sums chemical preparation. I have bCCOMO used to it now, but the first time it occurred I was somewhat dismayed, and thanking him! for his intended kindness, assured him that I washed my teeth nuself every night and morning. With indignation I leer: - ed that it was dye, and that his object was "co im-1 trove my appearance;" and from that day, I forth, 1 hate and fair—l wish I cold say despise—the barbers. f'rc•n on 8r0v...1 The Captain's Story. It trill be forty years ago nent month the ship I oils then iu came home i;Art the West Indies station, and wag paid off. I had newhet cin particular to go just then, end su was vet y glad to get a letter, die morning after I went ashore at P.,rts mouth, asking MO to go to Plymouth for a week or so. It email fium an old sailur, friend of my family, who had been comwo dare of the flee. Hu lived nt Plymouth ; lie was n thorough old sailor—what 2.-ou ! young mon NV , 1111 , 1 call ••tut old salt"—and couldn't live uut of sight of the blue sea and the shi;sping. It is a diet th.tt a go ,a many of us take who have spent oar hest years on the sea. I have it t -ors of feeling that we must he under another kind of Providence, when we look out and see a bill on this side and a hill on that.— It's wonderful to see the trees come out and the corn grow, but then it doesn't come so home to an old sailor. I know that we're till just ns much under the Lord's hand on shore us at sea; but you can't read in a book you haven't been used to, and they that go down to the sea in ships, they see the works of the Lord and His wonders in the deep. It isn't their fault if they don't see His tronders on the land cc easily as other people. But, fur all that, there's no man enjoys n cruise in the country more then n sailer It's forty years ago since I started fur Ply mouth, but I haven't furptten the road a hit, or how beautiful it was; all through the New Purest, and over Stli+bury Plain, and then on by the mail to Exeter. and through Devonshire. It took me three day+ to get to Plymouth, fur we didn't g't about so quick in those days. The commodore was very kind to ITV) when I got there, and I went about wit's hint to the hhips in the bay, and through the dock I yard, and picked up a good deal that was of use to the afterward+. I was a lieuten ant in those days, and had seen a goad deal of service, and I found the old commodore had a eat nephew wham he had adopted, and had set his whole heart upon. Ile wits an old bachelor himself, but the boy had come to live with hint, and wag to go to sea; Ho ha wanted to put him ander some one who mould give an eye to him tor the first year or two. lie was a light slip of a boy then, fourteen years odd, with deep•set blue eyes and long eyelashes., and chealis like a girl's, but as brave a. a lion and as merry, as a laik. The old gentlemen wan pleased to see that we took to one another. We used to bathe and btat together; and he was never tired of hearing ray stories about the: great admirals, and tho deal, 3 , .a the sta., :duns I had been on. Well, it was agreed that I should apply for a ship again directly, and go up to Lyn don with a letter to the Admiralty from the commodore, to help things on. After n month or two I mit appointed to a brig, lying at Spithead; and so I wroto to the commodore, and ho gut his boy a midship• man's berth on board, and brought him to Portsmouth him.elf. a day or two beft..ro we sailed for the 'Mediterranean. Tito old hen• tleman camo on board to rce his boy's ham mock slang, and went below into the cock pit to make sure that all was right. He only left us by the pilot host, when we wero well out in tho channol. lie was very low at parting, from hie boy, but bore v, ne well as he could ; and we promised to write to him from Gibraltor, and as often after wards as we bad a chance. I was soon as proud and fond of little Toot lioldsworth as if ho had been my own' younger brother; and, for that matter, to wore all the crow, from the captain to the i cook's boy. lie was such-a gallant young ster, and yet s e gentle. In one cutting-out business we had, he climbed over the boat swain's shoulders, cud was almost first on deck; how lie came out of it without a scratch I can't think to die day. But he hadn't a bit of blaster iu him, and was as kind as a woman to one who was wounde..: or down with a:^ccr~e After we had been out about a year we. were sent to cruise o 1 1: Zah n, on she look: out for tin, French sect. It was a long business, and the post wasn't so good then as it is now. We were sometimes for' months without getting a letter, and knew nothing of what was happening at home, or anywhere else. Wo had a sick time too on boar', and at last he got a feror. He [WHOLE NUMBER 1,561 bore up against it like a man, and wouldn't knock off duty for a long time. He was mi 3 bi pman of my watch; mo I used to make him turn in early, and tried to ease things to hint as much as I cc.uld; but ho didn't pick up, and I began te get very anxious about him. I talked to the doctor, and turned matters over in my own mind, and at last I came to think he wouldn't get any better unless he, could sleep out of the cock pit. So one night, the f.Oth of October it n as—l remember it well enough, better (hod) I remember any day since; it was a dirty night, blowing a p 1 . ,: of wind from tire southward, and we were under elem. reefed topsails—l had the first Ncnteb, and at nine o'clock I:-ent him down t ) my cabin to sleep there, where he would be fresher rind quieter, and I was to torn into his ham mock when my watch was over. I was on deck three hours or so after Le m eat down, and tiro weather get dirtier, and dirtier, and tlie read drJra b 7, and the wind and horn•ned throo the riggin g ^,—it wade me “h!l.Lochoiy to list zri to it. I could think of nothii,r, Lot th.i dor•a below, 11 nd ViL it I co.n.:la say to his poor. old unolo if anyt!..irg I ap•i•ened. Errla after went 0...0,n1 and tarned 111.3 Itatni.lorlc. I ‘l'orot, gl co sleop once, for I rettlettz'ozr cart' to tho ere...aid:lg of the ellipta timbers av sho r()F3 to 010 r,wcil, all I NVll:;;Ling the hunt), which was slung from :he and gave light caonAh to m.the out the otb,-;r br.m:nocks ewin;:dg Je.:y alto;:,ether. At 1.1-t, hew. t.rr, I (1...:-11J.1 of, and I reckon I muit ha to lieea abent an hour, when I woko with a st.,rt. ror the fiat moment I diTrit :1,1702:1ig but the swinging hammocks and the 'lamp; bat then suddezdy I beemma aware that omc ono was standlag, by my ham:raw:A, and I saw tile figure as plainly as I ore any ;is of you now. for the foot of the hammoak was close to the lamp, and the light full a 'roes on the he td and shoulders, which wit: all that I could see of hint. There he wa', the aid commodore; his grizzled hair carving out from mulct a red wool ni night•cap. and his shoulders wrapped in an old, threadbare, blue dres sing gown, which I had aften seen him in. Ilia face I Liked drawn an I pale, and there was a wistful, disa.m lintel look about the eyes, I was so taken aback I couldn't :deep, bat lay watching him. Ile looked full at my face once tar twice, but didn't seem to recognize tae; and just as I was getting back Illy tongue, and goinz to :Teak, he raid, slowly, "Where's Tam? this is his ham:neck. I can't see Tot.:;" an 1 then he looked vague ly about and passed away somehow, but how I cou4nt ,ee. In amo neat or two I jumped out an I hurried to my cabin. llut young ' Iloldsworth was fast asleep. I sat down and wrote down ju , t what I had soon, mak ling a note , if the exact time, twenty min utes to two. I did'nt turn in again, but sat watching the young.ter. When he woke I asked him if he had heard anything of his 1 great uncle by the last wail. Yes, he had beard; the oil gentleman was rather feeble 1 but nothing particular the matte:. I kept my own et once!, and never t a soul in the ship; and when the mail came to hand n few d afterwards, with a lettee from the commJ.lore to his nephew, dated late in September, saying that he was well, I thlught the ti .;tare by my hammuek must have been all my own fancy. However, by the neat mail came the news oc the ell corum alore's death. It had been a very brea't up, his erecutor said. He had left all his property, with h was net much, to his great nephew, who was to get leave to come horns as soon as he could. The first time we teached at Malta Tom floldsworth left us, and went home. Wo followed about two years afterwards, and the first thing I did after landing was to find out tho commodore's executor. He was a quiet, dry little Plymouth lawyer, and very civilly answered all my questions abuut the last days of my old friend. At last I asked him to tell me as near as ho could the time of his death; and he put an his spcetaeles, and gut his diary, and turned over the leaves. I was quite nervous till he leaked up and said: "Twenty-five minutes t ) t...v0, sir, A. M. on the morning of October Ilist; or it might be a few minutes later." "flow do you mean, sir ?" I asked. "Well," ho said, "It is nn odd story. Tho d•' tar was sitting with me, watching the old mart, stud, as I tell you, at twenty fire minutes to two, ho got up and said all was over. IV° stood together talking in whispers, fur it might be, four or fire min utes, when the body seemed to mere. no was an yid old man, you know, the oomme dere, and we could never get him properly to bed, but be lay in his rep night-cap and old dressing gown, with a blanket over him. It was not a pleasant sight, I can tell you, sir. I don't think one of yen gentians*, who um bred to face all manner of dangers, would have liked it. As I was saying, the ; body first moved. and then sat up, propping itself behind its hands. The eyes were wide op'n, and ho linked at us for a moment, and said sl.rely, "Ire bean to the Mediterranean, I 1.,': Jos Tom." Then the body sank q:,1: and this time the old commodore wt. :vilify dead. But it was not a pleasant thing to happen to one, sir. I de not re member anything like it in my forty years' practice." MEL-Sorrows come soon enough without despondency; it does a man no good to car ry around a lightning rod to attract trou ble.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers