Few Old Men Can Say This. Laketie'd, Minn., Feb. 2nd.—Wm. E.Gen* try of this place makes the following state ment: "For over foity years I suffered with mis ery in my back and at times 1 could not pass water without great pain and a burning sen sation. 1 have had to make water as many as sixteen times during one night—just a little at a time. 1 tried many kinds of kid ney medicines but all without any good re sult tdl at last 1 tried Dodd's Iviilney Pills and my pains are all gone. "I took six boxes and lam cured complete ly. I am 77 years of age and I feel better now than 1 have for over fifty years and I attribute it all to Dodd's Kidney Pills." Dodd's Kidney Pills have made some re jnarkable cures in this part of the state, and many old men and women are praising them highly as a cure for lame back, Kidney and bladder troubles. Flra-t Sofd of a Doctor. Wu Ting Fang is fond of relating a story about a Chinese doctor who didn't satisfy his patient. The sicker the patient grew, the more indignant his friends became at the unsuccessful physician. At last, when the sick man was in a final stage and death was imminent, the relatives laid violent hands on the unfortunate doctor, and, ty ing him up to a tree, started to admin ister a smart beating. But while his assail ants were looking for a stick with which to ibeat him, the doctor freed himself, and, jumping into the river, swam to safety. \\ lien he reached home he found his son, who was studying to he a physician, por ing over a book on medicine. "Put it up, put it up, shut it up," said the doctor, grimly; "the first requisite of a doctor is to know how to swim, not to cure." —San Francisco Argonaut. The Nickel IMate Ilonil. The care and attention to all the patrons of this road make it the favorite with the inexperienced as well as those accustomed to travel. Every feature necessary to the comfort and convenience of passengers, espe cially ladies traveling alone or accompanied by children, is provided. Colored porters uniformed are in attendance to serve the wants of all and to see that the cars are clean and kept so. Pullman sleepers with choice dining car service. American Club Plan or ala Carte, at moderate cost. With no excess fare charged on any train it will be to your interest to have your ticket read by way of the Nickel Plate. Extortionate. —Mrs. Dumley—"l don't eee why you call him a liberal writer." Mrs. Wise —"Why not?" Mrs. Dumley—"Why, he charges two dollars for his lust book, ana it's only got about 75pages in it."—Pniladei phia Record. Many School Children Are Sickly. Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Chil dren, used by Mother Gray, a nurse in Chil dren's Home, New York, break up Colds, cure Feverish miss, Constipation and destroy Worms. All Druegists, 2bc. Sample FREE. Address Allen S. Olmsted,Leltoy,New York. Judy—"Will ye give me yer promise, Den nis, that you'll love me roriver?" Dennis— ' Sure, an' Oi'nt hardly of the opinion that Oi'll lasht as long as that."—Richmond Dis patch. The Chicago & North-Western is the only double track railway between Chicago anil the Missouri River. Every time the unexpected happens the I-told-you-so person is on the spot. —Indi- an a polls New s. Check Cold and Bronchitis with Dale's Honey of Horehound and Tar. Pike's Toothache Drops Cure in one minute. The magnetic needle points to the pole, but, unfortunately, it is unable to point out • comfortable route/ —Puck. I am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption saved my life three years ago.—Mrs. Thos. .Robbing, Norwich, N. Y.. Feb. 17,1900. The pride of achievement is not marly eo great sometimes as thankfulness for what we did not do.—lndianapolis Sun. To Cure n Cold In One liny. Take Laxative Rrnmo Quinine Tablets. All druggists refund money if it fails to cure. 25c. "Being a theatrical manager conies nat ural to him." "Yes; he was born with a cast in his eye."—Philadelphia Bulletin. WOMEN SUFFER. Hard to attend to <% daily duties with a rf&Stl back that aches I like tho toothache. A woman's kidneys | fjive her constant trouble. Backache is the first warning ,? of sick kidneys and should never be Urinary disorders 1 annoy, embarrass and worry woman- _ kind. Dangerous and Bright's dis ease are sure to follow if the kidneys are neglected. Kead how to cure the kidneys and keep them well: Mrs. James Beck, of 314 West Wliitesboro Street. Home, N. Y., says: "1 was troubled with my kidneys for eight or nine years; had much pain in my back; as time went on I could hardly endure it; I could not stand except for a few moments at a time; I grew weak and exhausted; I could not even do light housework, let alone washing and ironing; I could not stoop or bend; my head ached severely; I was in pain from my head down to my heels; centering in the kidneys it was a heavy, steady, sick ening ache; I could not rest nights, and got up mornings weak and tired. I thought I was about done for, when I saw Doan's Kidney Pills advertised for kidney complaints, and got them nt Broughton & Graves's drug store. Within a week after commencing their use I began to improve, and from that time on rapidly grew bet' tcr. I used live boxes in all and was cured. I have recommended Doan't Kidney Pills to many others, and my case ought to convince the moat skep tical sufferer to give them u fair trial." A FREE TRIAL of this great kid ney medicine which cured Mrs. James Beck will be mailed on application to any part of the United State* I Address Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo N Y. For sale by uil druggists, price to cents per box. DON'T ™ ,a s c S°o s F2 I -ifrg..,— » Y'»«l fai hr rtir*i| of atljr form of loin •) UIHII «• 11 jr. tie Cll4ll* writ, tlri'iif m.itfnrtt. full I u. w lit,, tiinl v.; l by 14 L . « NO-!U It AO, thai mallei w.ali n.iii itioiiK Mjtiy 0 «•" tiuuiul* lit Irn .la* livti BUD. OUt cuitd All dru|;:i.u lure Huittaiur. <1 Irt mnl tdvica l-KKH AilUiru MKKI.INC JLbMUIJI' WU., CUKagu v« N«w kuik. W4 ■ K W VMcw heroes l^c tol 'His^M| l 'ong» A And rci£]encknt A n d pW^a|), fcw ' To leave in strong VjVVf VOI/!7! Th ' U hi y htw " ; \WA One name Mafl'li iti DffiWin emory, too, \w7 V\!// And singers raise the song \ c /j vV' 112 And keep g (\f (i)% jp ringing true! Vp' where tjjVTeetossed, the earth U/V' 1 IvS'acrccj, wherxS^lu^^rreli- \yk\ eta shrine! A O to ha Me jTlutsJiad make my yhiU]/e no r —v. lep^them glory\si\rc their iVid and the greasy art yr I Born February 12, 1809. Died April 15, 1865. STORIES TOLD BY AND ABOUT ABRAHAM LINCOLN STORIES TOLD BY F RESIDENT LINCOLN. OX the evening of his assassination Lincoln was asked by Marshal Lam on to sign an application for the pardon of a soldier: "Laraon," he said, "have you ever heard how the Patagonians eat oysters? They open them and throw the shells out of the windows until the pile gets higher than the house and then they move." Adding: "I feel to-day like commencing a new pile of pardons, and 1 may as well begin it j ust here " 00000 SOME one complimented the president on having no vices, neither drink ing nor smoking. "That is a doubtful compliment," answered Lincoln. "I remember once being outside a stage in Illinois, and a man sitting next to me offered me a cigar. I told him I had no vices. He said nothing, but smoked for tome time and then grunted out: " 'lt's my exx>erienee that folks who have no vices have few virtues.' " 00000 ADMIRAL GOLDSBOROUGII was uncertain as to tlie feasibility of taking Norfolk by landing on the north shore and marching overland. "That reminds me of a chap out west, who studied law," said the president. "Being sued, and not having sufficient self-confidenee to manage his case he hired another lawyer. At last, fearing that his lawyer was not handling the opposing side very w,ell, lie lost his patience, and springing to his feet cried out: 'Why don't you go at him with a "capias" or a "surre butter" or something, and not stand there like a confounded old "nudum pactuni ?" • " 00000 APROI'ROS of his renomination, Mr. Lincoln was reminded of a story of Jesse Dubois, who had charge of the state house at Springfield. An itinerant preacher came along and asked the use of it for a lecture. "On what subject?" asked Jesse. "On the second coming of Our Saviour," answered the Millerite. "Oh bosh!" retorted Jesse, testily. "I guess if our Saviour had ever been to Springfield and had got away with His life He'd be too smart to think of coming back again." 00000 LINCOLN once told this story of a lawyer: "When I took to the law I was going to court one morning with some ten or twelve miles of bad road ahead of me and I had no horse. The judge overtook me in his wagon and gave nie a seat. "Presently I looked out and saw that the driver was jerking from side to side in his seat, so says I: 'Judge, 1 think your coachman has been tak ing a drop too much this morning.' "So, putting his head out of the window, he shouted: 'Why, j-ou in fernal scoundrel, you are drunk!' "Upon which the coachman replied: 'By gorra! that's the first rightful decision you've given in a twelvemonth.'" 00000 PRESIDENT LINCOLN once replied to a deputation asking him to change the entire cabinet because he had retired Gen. Cameron from the war department: "Gentlemen, your request reminds me of a story I once heard in Illinois of a farmer who was much troubled by skunks. "One moonlight night lie loaded his old shotgun and stationed himself in the back yard to watch for the intruders. After some time his wife heard the shotgun go off, and in a few minutes the farmer entered the house. "'What luck had you?' said she. "'I hid myself behind the woodpile,' said the old man, 'and before long there appeared not one skunk bnt seven. I took aim, blazed away, killed one, and there was such an awlul stink raised that 1 concluded to iet the other six go.' " STORIES TOLD ABOUT PRESIDENT LINCOLN. AT the time when Mr. Lincoln was attacked by varioloid lie had been very much worried by people asking favors. "Well," said lie, "I've got something now that I can give to every body." 00000 It IX/I R. LINCOLN," said a member of congress once, "I believe you would /V\ have your joke if you were within a mile of hell." "Yes," said the president, "that is about the distance to the capitol." 00000 WHEN J. L. Scripps, of the Chicago Tribune begged Lincoln to give him material regarding his early life, Lincoln said: "It can be condensed into a simple sentence. 'The short and simple annals of the poor.' That's my life, and that's all you or anybody else ean make out of it." 00000 TO a committee that had wearied hiiu with a long drawn-out report of a newly-invented gun, Lincoln said: "1 should want a new lease of life if I read this through. If I •end a man to buy a horse for me I expeet him to tell me his points, not how many hairs there are in his tuil." 00000 7-MIE president made one of a party to inspect a newly-invented gun. In the middle of the inspection he caught sight of an ax, and observing: "Here is an institution I guess I understand better than any of you." lie held out the ax at arm's length by the tail of the handle, a feat not another person in the party could perform. 00000 A COMMITTEE once waited on the president and urged the removal of Gen. (irant on the ground that he drank too much whisky. "By the way, gentlemen," rejoined Mr. Lincoln, 'Van any of V i>u tell me where tien. Grunt procures his whisky? Because if 1 lau And out 1 will send every general in the field a barrel of it." 00000 WIIKX the pre idem al party was 011 its way to dedicate the Gettysburg cemetery a crowd at one of the smaller stations dnuauded u speevu from Lincoln. The president wits tr.viiiL' to get some r<--»t and declined. "Seward" be •aid, "jou go out ami rejuut some of your poetry to the people." 00000 AOIIK AT many people were >iirprUeil when Lincoln w.t, nominated for Ihe presidency. None wore to than the old Cngli liinaii in Sprint.'Held 111., who ►aid: "What, Ahe Lincoln Humiliated? A man who buy* a Uu-eiiit beefaU-ulf for kia brcukfaat ead carries it houte him.elf!" CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12. 1903 A KeiT JfoTfl Attracting Attention. "Lionel Ardon," by Malcolm Dearborn, is a new historical novel brought out tiy Dil lingham & Co., in November last, it has many points on which to commend it for its superiority to the reading public. There is, at present, such a deluge of new novels that when one can be picked out whose in terest is so intense and whose characters are so well drawn like all productions of true merit, it is soon placed in the first rank. At the time of the publication of this vol time we had the pleasure of favorably re viewing it, and we are pleased to note the general appreciation of "Lionel Ardon" by the American press. The following is from the Boston Beacon: "In this book the reader renews acquaint ance with English history by means of a story delicately conceived and very inter estingly told. The historical characters are well drawn and the imaginary ones are true to lite past or present. This is the first novel to utilize the beautiful face and char aeter of Lady .lane Grey and she makes a very attractive part of the story. Lionel Ardon from boyhood to manhood plays worthily the hero's part. The book is very strikingly bound in dark blue and gilt with a decorative touch by the outlines of the rose and thistle in colors and two inverted swords in white." Tlie Department Hunt lie Gluil. Since David Kaphokohoakimohokeweon ah resigned his oflice as postmaster at Keo kea, Island of Maui, Hawaii, the fourth assistant postmaster general lias been un able to find anyone to take the oflice. David of the unpronounceable name has been holding down the oflice ever since Hawaii was made a territory, but some time ago he got more lucrative employment on a sugar plantation at three dollars a month and left the government service, where le received $24 a year. Mr. Kaphokoh- a kimohokeweonah is said to be a line.il e- Bcendant of the famous King Kalitapokai. i kokiwealoha, who, tradition tells, was "very fond of missionaries."—.N. V. Sun. The Overland Limited, solid train Chi cago to the Coast daily. Chicago, Union Pacific & North-Western Line. Straight character cannot come out of crooked living.—Rams llorn. Old Sofas. Backs of Chairs, etc., can be dyed with Putnam Fadeless Dyes. A small dnor may lead to a large room.— Ram's Horn. A silent mart's words are never repeated in court. —Chicago Daily News. Love makes a young man sober and an old man giddy.—Chicago Daily News. It is strange, but it is only the square man that is straight.—lndianapolis Jsews. Kenneth—"Tom looked at me quite se verely." Bently—"Naturally. Tom is aw fully cross-eyed."—Boston Transcript. Wiggs—Gotrox is very fond of showing off his possessions, isn't he? U agg—Yes, he even takes his guests down the cellar to inspect the coal bins. — Philadelphia Record. "Forehen-Hunt is busy these days trying to think lip a scheme to eradicate certain weeds." "You don't mean he's gone in for gardening?" "Oh, no; he's trying to induce Widow Gotrox to marry him."—Philadel phia Press. Must Be Strong to Do It. —Barnes Tor mer —"I'm taking gymnastic lessons from Holdemup, the strongman." MiseFutelites —"What for?" Barnes Tornter —"In the third act of my new play I have to lilt the mortgage off the farm."—Detroit Free Press. The W : hole Thing.—"Your majesty," be fan the court historian, "in my chronicles have taken the liberty of speaking of you as a 'citizen of the world —" "Impudence!" thundered the kaiser. "But, sire, you are so cosmopolitan and—" "Hund —1 am 'the' citizen of the world."—Philadelphia Press. Proof Positive.—"And are you sure you love him?" "Am I sure? Do you see this dress?" "Of course I do. What of it?" "Will you kindly tell me if it bears the slightest re.-eniblance to the present styles?" "Well, really, it—er—it—" "It doesn't?" "No." "And I'm wearing it because he likes it."—London Tit-Hits. V - m - ,- y .(f THE CHILDREN ENJOY ®> ( '-,k«; %zJ&-- ■■ -,■•>'•'• v^ s*"" 5 *"" Iyife out of doors and out of the games which they play and the enjoy- • \ •Hr- %'V'u\J n,ent which the y receive and the efforts which they make, comes the r~X „'~jp greater part of that healthful development which is so essential to their J happiness when grown. When a laxative is needed the remedy which is 112 112 given to them to cleanse and sweeten and strengthen the internal organs // / on which it acts, should be such as physicians would sanction, because its /■ / ff component parts are known to be wholesome and the remedy itself free from ;S . lif every objectionable quality. The one remedy which physicians and parents, '"i? |j( well-informed, approve and recommend and which the little ones enjoy, /r> A ' yi because of its pleasant flavor, its gentle action and its beneficial effects, is— *\\\'\ f'£\ Syrup of Figs—and for the same reason it is the only laxative which should \- s o'~> r si'- ''■ be used by fathers and mothers. ( c» Syrup of Figs is the only remedy which acts gently, pleasantly and x,'. naturally without griping, irritating, or nauseating and which cleanses the * ,jsv" £_*■ system effectually, without producing that constipated habit which results »>•//? }' from the use of the old-time cathartics and modern imitations, and against VI CV' which the children should be so carefully guarded. If you would have them -«<& V , grow to manhood and womanhood, strong, healthy and happy, do not give .•%" them medicines, when medicines are not needed, and when nature needs '.v assistance in the way of a laxative, give them only the simple, pleasant and ; t.£ gentle—Syrup of Figs. £*"" '• T".,.i It* quality is due not only to the excellence of the combination of the / ■ " J laxative principles of plants with pleasant aromatic syrups and juices, but % " '■! also to our original method of manufacture and as you value the health of 'w \ "''2. > " ,e little ones, do not accept any of the substitutes which unscrupulous deal- * a '* * » ers sometimes offer to increase their profits. The genuine article may be > ' bought anywhere of all reliable druggists at fifty cents per bottle. Please X ' r to remember, the full name of the Company— / CALIFORNIA FIG SVKUP CO.- is printed 0:1 \[ the front of every pack- Ar/' ' (j* RC * In order to get its ' beneficial effects it is al- , (■\lilit-' A \ J W^'VSp'*/ '''' ' ~y ~r* jjw Y With the old surety. St. Jacobs Oil to cure Lumbago and Sciatica There U no euch word ts fail. Prica, 25c. and JOc. huiwwibj wm & W-ÜBI Hard makes Stiff Joints. Rub with Mexican Mustang Liniment and the sore muscles become comfortable and the stiff joints become supple. Good for the Aches and Injuries of MAN or BEAST. It Cures Colds, Cornrhs, Sore Throat, Croup, Influ enza, Whooping Cough, Bronchitis and Asthma. A certain cure for Consumption in first stapes, and a sure relief in advanced stages. Use at once. You will gee the excellent effect after taking the first dose. Sold by dealers everywhere. Laryo bottles 25 cents and 50 cciiU. Whole sal o Prices, gj Our 1,000-page catalogue will bo sent |L upon receipt of 15 cents. This amount S does not even pay the postage, but it is g sufficient to show us that you are acting g In good faith. Better send for it now. I Your neighbors trade with us — why not | you also ? If 2 CHICAGO M The house that tells the truth. Jj lairerasaS? We Carpet Your Floor for $3 | To introduce our new, serviceable and healthful *** BRUSSELETTE ART BUGS AttmrUye artistic patterns^ priced carpets. Sent prepaid to any point east of the llocky Mouri "Vi'li'^YffcTl ii tains. Monov refunded if not sat" isfactory. Illustrated catalogue showing rugs in actual colors sent free. NAMTA It V )IF». (O (Inc.) Dent. X, gaa H. f.lh St., Philadelphia, I'u. J Ju«« an nn Experiment. "I cannot live without you," he urged. n®°« v ou know," s ' ie returned thought fully, "I am very fond of experiments." "Experiments!" "\es. So, just as an experiment, sup pose you try it and see. I do not want to natter you, but I have sufficient confidence in vou to believe you will succeed." Thus it was demonstrated to him how delicately a thing may be put .—Chicago Post. Love in Spectacles.-—He—"l suppose now that I shall have to ask vour father for his consent." She—"No, Harry; after the first time you called pa said I might have you if I wanted you. Pa and I have under stood it for a long time."—Boston Tran script. Without tale-hearers there would be no tele-bearers.—Rani s Horn. wfJr!!Us3s. || }&■**-=& u.'JJC-rj mads o ■ IV. L. DovgSaa mats as end so!ft mora men's Coadyoat" YJ&tt (Her.il* Sewed troccßa) nhoa&thnn any oliituf manufacturer hi the world. $25,000 REWARD S" \ will be paid to anyone who fc.r can disprove this statement. f%&~. Because W. L. Douglas $sH is tholargest manufacturer t#g?j v\ he can buy cheaper and fjr v *» <£u produce his shoes at a f£|( y J lower cost than other con- K cerns, which enables him A to sell shoes for $3.50 and Mi $3.00 equal in every J®Tvsr' /Jk. way to those sold else where for SI and $5.00. W. Ij. Douglas $3.50 fß3sfs?i\\ifisKw/uevwAW and S3shoesare worn by thousands of men who have been paying $4 and ss,not believing they could get a first-class shoe for 83.50 or $3.00. He has convinced them that the style, fit. and wear of his $3.50 and $3.00 shoes is just as good. Give them atrial and save money. Notice lucreaae /IB9ii Sales: SS,«©:S,MHli,ai In Kll*liic»ft t \lW2.Sales: A gain of 89,S 'J«, J5«.71( In Four Years. W. L. DQUCLA3 54.00 CILT EDCE LINE. Worth SO.OO Compared with Other Makes. The best Imported and American leathers, lleyt't Patent Calf, Enamel, Box Calf, Calf, Vlcl Kid', Corona Colt, and National Kangaroo. Fast Color Eyelets. Paiijlnn • Tho sen'Jine have W. 1.. DOUGLAJi UuuliUll ■ name r.nd price stamped on bottom. .STiur.s bu mat/, air. extra. Jllus. Catalog/rte. W. JL.. IIOV(;I.AN, !I««CK'I'O,\,MABa t) Via Dubuque, Waterloo and Albert Lea. Fast Vestibule Night train with through Sleeping Car, Buffet-Library Car and Free Reclining Chair Car. Dining Car Service en route. Tickets of agents of I. C. R. R. and connecting lines. 3 A. H. HANSON, O. P. CHICAGO. C j n qj BLAIR'S DIGESTIVE TABLETS Care 1 ndlgeetlon, flatulence, heartburn, etc. Br mall on receipt of 9.1 cent* In ■titmpa. HBNRT C. BLAIU, tiih and Walnut Streets, Philadelphia* 7
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers