VOLI WK 53. NEW SERIES. THE BEDFORD GAZETTE IS PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING, BY MEYERS & BEN FORD, At the following terms, to wit: SI -50 per annum, CASH, in advance. $2.00 " " it paid within the year. $2.50 " " it not paid within the year. [C?"No subscription taken for less than six months. paper discontinued until all arrearages are paid, unless at the option of the publishers. It has been decided by the United States Courts, that the stoppage of a newspaper without the payment of ar rearages, is prima facie evidence of fraud and is a criminal offence. [C?"The courts have decided that persons are ac countable for the subscription price of newspapers, if they take them from the post office, whether they subscribe for them, or not. WHITE MEN AT A DISCOUNT AS AMERICANS. The Paris correspondent o( the New Aork Times writes that the prevalent belief in France is that Americans are black. A native-born citizen of the United States is generally—not always, I am sorry to say— too dignified, too much of a gentleman, to go crying through the streets, the restaurants, and the kitchens, that he is an American ; while, on the contrarv, there is in Paris a large number of American negroes, and a still larger number of very dark persons, of mixed Indian blood, from the West Indies and South America, who proclaim every where that they are Americans, and thus overshadow and crowd out the small number of pale-skinned Yankees, who attempt to pass themselves off as the Simon pures.— Thpse South American Spaniards, who, so far as 1 know them, are very gentlemanly men, are generally very dark, and outnumber, at this time, the North Americans two to one. They call themselves Americans, as they are, in fact since they come from ihe American Continent, i and thus it is that those of us who mis fortune to bear a Northern skin on our bodies j pass for English, or German : we are a'false ar- ; licle ! SMALT.-POX ANI> VACCINATION. —HaII's Jour nal of Health has the following : "From extended and close observation the fol lowing general deductions seem to be warranted: "1. Infantile vaccination is an almost perfect safeguard until the fourteenth year. 2. At the beginning of fourteen the system gradually loses its capability of resistance, until about twenty one, when many persons become almost as lia ble to small-pox as it they had not been vaccina ted. 3. This liability remains in full force until about forty- two, when the susceptibility begins to decline, and continues for seven years to grow les3 and less, becoming extinct at a bout fifty, the period of lib* when the general revolution of the body begins to take place, ♦luring which the system yields to decay, or takes a new lease of life for two or three terms of seven years each. 4. The grand practical use to be made of these sentiments is : Let every youth be re-vaccinated on entering four teen ; let several attempts be made so as to be •certain of safety. As the malady is more like ly to prevail in cities during the winter, special attention is invited to the subject at this time." CHOLERA. —This fell disease has once more made its appearance in England : and there can 'be no doubt, if it be true to its antecedents, that it will visit the shores of America during the course of the approaching summer. Should it •do so, it will again find us unprepared, and the ■usual mortality and panic will be the result. Six months previous to the outbreak of 185-1, we warned the authorities of its approach, and "urgently advised the adoption of measures calcu lated to arrest its progress and disarm it, in a measure, of its power. Cur warnings, howev er, were unheeded, and a mourning community were insulted by the solemn mockerv enacted by short-sighted and incapable officials, in the •great activity displayed to check the progress of an epidemic which had gathered its victims, expended its power, and was already rapidly on the decline.— .Montreal Medical Chronicle. SUICIDE OF EX-PRESIDENT JONES or Texas.— i .Yew Orleans, Jan. 12.—8y an arrival from 'Galveston, intelligence has been received that Dr. Anson .Jones, Ex-President of Texas, com mitted suicidt; at Houston, on the Stb inst., by' blowing out his brains. The cause of the act is i not stated. Dr. Jones had been a prominent Citizen of Texas since a period anterior to the revolution which resulted in the independence of that State. After holding various offices of a responsible character, he was chosen President. He was afterwards an ardent advocate of the annexation of Texas to the United States. Since Texas became one of the States of th Union, Dr. Jones has acted as a leader of the Democrat- ; ic party, second in influence only to Houston •sad Rusk. He was recently a candidate for •the United States Senate, but yielded place to j General <P. Pinckney Henderson. TAX-OS; MONET LOANED.—l'nder THE new , •code of revenue laws of the State of Mississippi, the tax on loaned money is twenty cents on i every oe hundred dollars, or two dollars on the thousand. THE BEAVTT or A BLUSH. —Goethe was in company with a mother and daughter, when the latter being reproved for some fault, blushed and burst into tears. She sa jd ; "How beauti ful your reproach has made your daughter! The crimson hue and those silvery tears became her better than any ornament of gold and pearls. They may be hung on the neck ot a wanton, j but these are uever seen disconnected with moral purity. A full-grown rose, besprinkled with the purest dew, is not so beautiful as this child blushing beneath her mother's displeasure, j and shedding tears of sorrow. A Mush is the sign which nature hangs out to show where chastity and honor dwell." genius has conceived the brilliant idea to press all tlie lawyers into military ser vice, in case of war—because their charges are fogreat that no one could withstand them. ?3eVfnrft Select Poct v n. [From the Atlantic Monthly.] THE OLD MAN'S DREAM. 0 for one hour of youthful joy ! Give back my twentieth spring! I'd rather laugh, a bright-haired boy. Than reign a gray-beard king! Off with the wrinkled spoils of age I Away with learning's crown! Tear out life's wisdom-written page, And dash its trophies down ! One moment let my life-blood stream From boyhood's fount of flame? Give me one giddy reeling dream Of life all love and fame I —My listening angel beard the prayer, And calmly smiling said, "If 1 but touched thy silvered hair Thy hasty wish had sped." "But is there nothing in thy traefc To bid the fondly stay, While the swift seasons hurry back To find the wished-for day ?" —Ah truest soul of woman-kiml! Without thee, what were life? One bliss 1 cannot leave behind ; I'll Take—my—precious—wife ! —The angel took a sapphire pen And wrote in rainbow dew, "The man would be a boy again, Apd be a husband tool" —"And is there nothing yet unsaid Before the change appears? Remember, all their gifts have fled With those dissolving years I" Why, yes; for memory would recall My fond paternal joys ; 1 could not bear to ieave them all: I'll take—my—girl—and boys! The smiling angel dropped his pen,— "Why this will never do; The man would be a boy again, And be a father too !" And so I laughed,—my laughter woke The household with its noise,— And wrote my dream, when morning broke To please the gray haired boys. AX INCIDENT OF TffE REVOLUTION. A circumstance occurred during the gloomy , winter of 1776-7, which has not found its wav | into histories, but which we copy from a late , number of the Democratic Review. It was one among the many during the Resolution, which appeared to be providential allotments in our favor. The writer received the account of it i from a s on of Richard 11. Lee, and from Fran ! Cis Light foot Lee, who were members of Con ! gress, and were in Philadelphia at the time.— I These gentlemen were accustomed to mention : it as a providential interference in behalf of their countfy. "When General Washington was retreating through the Jerseys in the winter of 1776-7 ; and had crossed the Delaware, his lead and bul lets had nearly failed, and he would be unable, l without a considerable supply, to make the bril ; liant and successful movements whicfi recover ed New Jersey, and re-inspired the country with new hope and confidence in their Com mander-in-chief. In this darkest hour of the war, Congress had made every effort to supply the so-much-needed articles." All the lead that could be found in public and private places had been obtained. Lead pipes had been melted and the plates torn from the roofs of houses : but still a small quantity only could be obtained. Just then in the darkest moment of despondency, ! Robert Morris, who has been called the "finan cier" of the Revolution and whose ex-tensive credit and mercantile transactions in Europe, and whose unflinching devotion to his country,! has laid that country under never-ceasing obli gations, received a letter from one of his" ships which had escaped British cruisers, informing him that the vessel was within the capes, and would reach Philadelphia at such a time, and was ballasted with lead, and amounting to a very large quantity. This letter the patriotic Morris ' for such we delight to call him—received late in the day, and after Congress had adjourned. He joyously informed the members he could see before morning. Early the next morning, Morris and many members repaired to the wharf anxiously looking out for the expected vessel. For some time she did not appear. The mem bers repaired to the hall with saddened counte nances, and on the assembling of the House, the letter of Morris was read and the looked for supply was eagerly expected. Morris was too anxious to remain in his seat in the House; he returned to the wharf, straining his eye down the river. At length the goodly vessel heaves in sight, and her owner recognizes the stars and stripes. The news spreads rapidly through the city and reaches Congress, a scene of joyful emotion instantly succeeds, and the hearts of these glorious, beloved men sent up to Heaven their grateful thanksgiving for the re lief about to be received in the hour of despair. The sb.jp arrived ballasted with tend , which the Captain of his own apparent will, (but as our fathers rationally piously believed, by the leadings of a good Providence,) had for the first time resolved to use for that purpose. By God's overruling providence, the vessel escaped the perils of storm and capture, arrives at the exi gent moment ; a large supply of lead is imme- obtained : our great Commander recros sed the Delaware and saves our country.— Lans Deo." [CP"A jockey at the Maze races, England, asked a Yankee if they had any swift horses in America. "Swift ?" said Jonathan, "I've seen a horse in Baltimore beat his own shadow a quarter of a mile the first heat." BEDFORD, PA. FRIDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 5, 185a A VISIT TO VALLEY FORGE. About sixteen miles up the Schuylkill from Philadelphia, a small stream leaves the rich and beautiful valley of Chester, and winds its way through a deep ravine between two mountains . and empties its clear waters into the river.— The mountains are filled with iron-ore, and as the stream affords water power, the old inhabi tants of the colonies erected at its mouth a mill and around them a few houses, and the place was known as the "\ally Fo r ge." Jt was after the disastrous results of the bat tles of Brandywine and Germantown, in which the Americans lost 2000 aoldi-rs, whom in their already reduced state they could to poorly spare, that Washington was forced to give up Phila delphia to the enemy, and lead his drooping and discouraged army to this secluded spot, which the sufferings ol that little band, while it lav and shivered there during the memora ble winter of '76, has made immortal. We approached the old encampment by a road leading down a narrow defile which forms the bed of the stream, and ascended to the sum mit where the army lay, by a nigged pathway which is still to lie traced among the rocks, and were shown by our guide as we passed the dif ferent spots, where the cannon had been plant ed to guard the entrance. When we reached the summit we found it partially covered with trees and underwood, yet eighty years had not been able to destroy the efforts that feeble band had put forth for self-protection. There was still to be seen a ditch and embankment, which is at present about three feet byjj, extending more than two miles around of the mountain. V At the more open afklunprotected points are still to be seen five different forts ot diflyrent forms, more or less perfect. They were irtib abiy built principally df .logs, hut long since decayed, and . tfieir journal present are to be traced onlv by piles ol dirt which had been thrown up to strengthen thern, The most perfect one at present is still about ten (est high, , and probably one hundred feet square, with a j dividing ridge running diagonally from one corner to the other, forming two apartments <>l equal size, but with one narrow entrance. It all remains quite perfect and the walls <>r banks are covered with trees. The tents of the sol diers were made of pooles, winch seem to have \ been twelve or fifteen feet long, built in the form of a pen, with dirt thrown up on the out- j side to keep out the storm. Their remains are still to be seen, situated in little groups over the enclosure. While down near the Otd Forge we were shown a stone house, about 20 by 30 feet, which served as head quarters, in which Washington lived sui rounded by his staff during the winter. We entered the venerable building with feel ings of the deepest emotion, and examined the room which served the illustrious chief as bed room and audience chamber. It is very plain, and the furniture much as-h,e left it. A small rough box in a deep window sill, was pointed out as having and writing material. The house occupied by a family who take pleasure in sljbWarig to visitors the dif ferent items of interesr&' The obi cedar shin gled roof which protected the "Father of his country" eighty years ago, had still sheltered the old head quarters until a year or two ago, when it was removed, and its place occupied by tin. The graves of the soldiers are still to he seen in distant clusters over the ground, hut are most numerous in the northeast division, where the regiments from the South were quartered, death having rioted most fearfully among them, thev being less able to endure the severities of a Noi therr. winter. Tt was during their encampment here that the tracks of the soldiers could he traced bv their blood, as they gathered wood 'o warm their miserable huts. And it is here that Washington is said to have shed tears like a father, while beholding their sufferings, while thev gathered around him and plead for bread and clothing, and he had not the means to furnish them. Yet al though ever}' thing seemed sodisconraging, it was near here that the "Friend*' went home sur prised, and exclaiming, "the Americans will conquer yet! the Americans will conquer yet, for I heard a whisper in the woods, and I look ed and saw their chief upon his knees, and he was asking God to help them." It may be great to lead a powerful army on to victory, but surely it was greater to preserve the shattered remnants of a discouraged band to gether, when the enemy was trampling over them, when their Congress could do nothing lor them, when starving families at home were weeping for their return, and when their seem ed no prospect before I hem hot miserable de feat. Numerous graves have rerontlv been opened, and the bodies of many of the officers have been removed by their friends to other burving grounds in their native States. But the poor and obscure soldiers who still remain, have monuments more beautiful than art can form erected over them, for nature lias planted hun dreds of cedars as a silent tribute to their merri °ry, which have been watered hv the pure and generous tears of night, and they are now form ing living wreaths of evergreens over their graves. tC? 1 "A man who can have his corns mashed without grumbling, j s undoubtedly possessed of a tolerably good disposition. One man being once at a political meeting, said, in a pleasant manner to a big burly fellow who was standing upon his toe, "My dear sir, are you not a mil ler?" "No sir; why do you ask?" "Why, sir, the fact is, f thought you were a miller, and a very honest one, too, because you have been grinding my corn this half hour without ta king toii." How much more ditiicult is it to get a woman out on a wet Sunday than a week dav ! Can the shut shops have any thing to do with this? Freedom of Thought and Opinion. [7'Vom Murns and Willis ' Home Journal.] JOHN ANDERSON, MY JO. This exquisite ballad, constructed by Robert Burns, out of a different and somewhat excep tionable lyric, has always left something to be wished for and regretted : it is not complete.— But who would venture to add to a song of Burns? As Burns left it, it runs thus: John Anderson, my jo, John, When we were first acquent, Your locks were like the raven, Your bonnie brow was brent; But now your brow is bald, John, Your locks are like the snow : But blessings on your frosty pow, John Anderson, my jo. John Anderson, my jo, John, We clarr.b the hill thegither; And monya canty day, John, We 've had wi' ane anither; Now we maun totter down John, But hand in hand we'll go, And sleep thegither at the foot, John Anderson, my jo. Fine as this is, it docs not quite satisfy a con templative mind ; when one has gone so far, he looks and longs fore something more—something beyond the foot of the hill. Manv a reader of Burns must have felt this ; and it is quite prob able that many have attempted to supply the deficiency : but we know of only one success in so hazardous an experiment. This is the add ed verse : John Anderson, my jo, John, When we have slept thegither, The sleep that a' maun sleep, John, We'll wake wi'ane anither; And in that better warld. John, Xae sorrow shall we know; .\or fear we e'er shall part again, John Anderson, rnyjo. Simple, touching, true—nothing wanting, and nothing to spare ; precisely harmonizing with the original stanzas, and improving them by tlie fact of completing them. This poetical achievement is attributed to Mr Charles Gould, a gentleman ofour town whose life has been chiefly devoted to the successful combination of /tgw/ e.v—but not figures of rhetoric. The verse was written some years ago, but it has not hitherto found it? way into print *, yet it well deserves to be incorporated with the original song in any future edition of Burns' Poems, and we hope some publisher will act on this sugges tion. THE WAY TO EMINENCE "That which other folks can do, Why, with patience, may not you ? ' Long ago a little boy was entered at Harrow School, lie was pot into a class beyond his vears, and where all the scholars had the ad vantage ol previous instruction, denied to him. His master chid him for his dullness, and all his etibrls then could not raise him from the lowest [dace on the form. But nothing daun ted, be procured the grammars and other ele mentary books which his class-fellows had gone ihrough in previous terms. He devoted the hours of plav, and not a few of the hours of sleep, to the mastering of these : till, in a few weeks, he gradually began to rise, and it was ml long till he shot far ahead of all his compan ions, and became not only leader of the division, hut the pride of Harrow. You may see the statue of that boy, whose career began with this fit of energetic application, in St. Paul's cathedral : lor he lived to be the greatest orien tal scholar of modern Europe—it was Sir William Jones. When young scholars see the lofty pinnacle of attainment on which that name is now re posing, they feel as if it had been erected there rather than had travelled thither. No such tiling. The most illustrious in the annals of ph.l osophv once knew no more than the most illiterate now do. And how did he arrive at his peerless dignity ? By dint of'diligence ;by downright painstaking. A ROY AL LADY- Our ladv readers will be interested in the following description of the English Princess Royal, Victoria's eldest daughter, from the pen of a correspondent of an Aberdeen jour nal : "With the remembrance, as if it had been yesterday, of the boom of the guns which an nounced her birth, I was scarcely prepared to find her a full grown woman, taller by a couple of inches than her mother, and carrying herself with the ease and grace of womanhood. It is no stretch of loyalty or courtesy to call the Prin cess Royal pretty. She is perfectly lovely. The regularity of her features is perfect. Her eyes are large and full of intelligence, impart ing to her face that sort of merry aspect which indicates good humor. The nose and mouth are delicately and exquisitely formed, the latter giv ing the effect of great sweetness- The Princess is more like her father than her mother. She is like the Queen in nothing but her nose. In all other respects she is a female image of her father. I should add, as interesting to your lady readers, that she wears her hair slightly off her forehead ; not pushed hack in the Eu genie fashion, but brushed Jatiludinally from the temples, and raised at the side above the ear in bandeaus (really the ladies must excuse me il I am talking nonsense, for 1 have not given that hostage to fashion which would enable me to speak ex cathedra.) Well, at any rate, the Princess is fair enough to be the heroine of a fairy tale, and the Prince Frederick should con sider himself a lucky fellow." [Cr*A Boston paper, giving a puff to a new minister, savs ; "His prayer at the close of his sermon was the most eloquent that was ever addressed to a Boston audience." iJ^-TEACiiKß—••William, can you tell me why the sun rises in the east ? " Pupil, looking demure —"Don't know, sir, 'cept it be that Vast makes everything rise." IRISH DROLLERY. An amusing story of Dairies Barrington, Re corder of Bristol, is related by one of the Bri tish press. Having to appear for the plaintiff in a case at aw inter assize at Clumel, he "let into" the defendant in no measured terms.— The individual inveighed against, not being present, only heard of the invectives. Alter Barrington, however, had got back to Dublin, the Tipperarv man lost 110 time in paying his compliments to the counsel. He rode all day and night, and, covered with sleet, arrived be fore Barrington's residence, in Harcourt street, Dublin. Throw ing the bridle of his smoking horse over the railing of the area, he announced his arrival by a thundering knock at the door, which nearly shook the street. Barrington's valet answered the summons, and opening the street door, beheld the apparition of a rongh coated Tipperary fire-eater, with a large stick under his arm, ami the sleet sticking to his bushy whiskers. "Is your master up 7" t!°fnanded the visitor, in a voice that gave some intimation of tin* ob ject of his journey. "No," answered the man. "Then give him my compliments, and sav Mr. Foley (he'll know the name) will be glad to see him." The valet went up stairs and told his mas ter, who was in tied, the purport of his visit. "Then don't let Mr. Foley in for vour life." said Barrington, "lor it is not a bare and a i | brace of ducks he lias come to present me with." The man was leaving the bedroom, when a j rough wet coal pushed by him, while a thick voice said, "by your leave," at the same mo- j ment Mr. Foley entered the bedroom. "You know my business, sir," said be to j Barrington : "I have made a journey to teach ' you manners, and it is not rnv purpose to re- j turn until I have broken every bone in vour I body," and at the same time he cut a figure of, eight with his shillelah, before the cheval glass. "You do not mean to say you would murder J me in bed,'" exclaimed Daines, who had as much | honor as cool courage. "No," replied the other, "but get up as soon j as you can." "Yes," replied Daines, "that you might fell i me the moment I put mv body out of the blank- ' ets." "No," replied the other,"l pledge vou my j word not to touch you till you are out of bed." j "You won't ]" "I won't." "Upon your honor ?" "On my honor." "That is enough," said Daines, turning over and making himself very comfortable, and ' seeming as though he meant to fall asleep,"l j have the honor of an Irish gentleman, and mav rest as safe as though I were under the castle | guard." The Tipperarv salamander looked marvelous ly astonished at the pretended sleeper, but soon j Daines began to snore "Halloa !" said Mr. Foley." aren't you go- J ing to get up 7" "No," said Haines,"! have the honor of an Irish gentleman that he will not strike me in bed, and I am sure I am not going to get up to have my hones btoken ; I will never get up again. In the meantime, Mr. Foley, if you should want your breakfast, ring the bell : the best in the house is at your service. The morning paper will be here presently , but be sure to air it before reading, for there is nothing from which a man so quick catches a cold, as reading a damp journal," and Daines once more affected to go asleep. The Tipperary man had fun in him as well as ferocity, he could not resist of counsel, so laughing aloud, he exclaimed : "Get up' Mr Harrington, for in bed or out of bed, I have not the heart to hurt so droll a man." The result was that in less than an hour af terward, Daines and his intended murderer were sitting down to a warm breakfast, the latter only intent upon assaulting a dish of smoking chops. MCSK. —This WPII known scent is imported from China, Bengal and Russia. It has a bit terish and somewhat acid taste, and in color resembles dried hlood. This scent is- obtained from the musk deer, and possesses a most pene trating and diffusive odor, rather agreeable when feeble, but when concentrated it is decidedly offensive ; so diffusive is its power that a few grains will scent a room for years, and it never seems to fade in strength. Tonquin musk is the most esteemed. Pod musk is the natural bag containing the musk, and each one weighs about six drachms, having in each about eight scruples of pure musk. It is generally more or less adulterated, but the adulterations are easily detected under the microscope or by an alysis. GEXIUS. —He is not the greatest man, who with a giant intellect, can startle the multitude as with sudden thunder. The impression left behind is not agreeable and lasting. He who would stir up the soul, must have a calm sympa thizing heart. It is this which vibrates through the human heart, leaps in the warm pulses, and urges us to deeds of mercy. The man whose sympathies are with common humanity —whose heart is moved hv pure benevolence, breathes thoughts that will never die.— Like the silent dews, they descend in the bofom o cheer, to bless and to save. The breath of true love is thus felt in the heart. Such a writer blends genius with humanity, and is destined to sway the multitude and urge them on to deeds of mercy and unending glory. divine informed a sailor that the Dev il was chained up. "How long is the rope 7" "Oh" was the dignified reply, "it extends over the whole world." "Does it," rejoined Jack, "if so tb" lubber might as tvell be loose. IV HOLE \1 JIBE It 2782. A HIDING PLACE OF ROBESPIERfIk A curious discovery has lately been made, while repairing the house formerly occupied by the Jacobin Club during the great revolution, and now known as the Hotel de Londress, in the Rue St. Hyacinthe, St. Honore. The Club which guided the destinies of the revolution du ring some few years have often boasted of al lowing the ambition ot Robespierre and other leaders to progress so far, and no farther, and the members by vote hgd passed a law which entitled the majority to exclude from any par ticular seance any particular member whose in terests might lead him to sway the opinions of the club. Robespierre, whose ambition had rendered him an object of suspicion, had often been voted out of the assembly : and it ha sheen a matter of surprise to the historian of the time, j hat he could so long have maintained his influ ence in spite of the violence of the opposition thus permitted. The secret is now revealed : A small room—a hiding place in the thickness ot the wall—has just been discovered, opening J by a trap-door into the very hall where the de j liberations were being carried on, and whence i tie could listen to the measures to be taken a gainst him, and thus foreaimed, have power to j de/eat them. Jt is evident triat this hiding j place must have been occupied by Robespierre ; and when first entered by the workmen, the tra ! ces ot his presence were still visible in the j journal which la v upon the table, and the wri j ting paper, from which had been torn a small portion, as if for the purpose of making a mem : orandum. The only book which was found j in (tie place was a volomn of Florain, open at the 2nd chapter of Claudine. It was covered ( with snuff, which had evidently been shaken I from the reader's shirt-frill, and bore testimony j of the truth of history which records the sim ' plicity of the literaiy tastes of Robespierre, j His presence seemed still to hang about that j small space, as though he had quitted it but a moment before ; and singular enough, the marks iof his feet, as though he had recently trodden ' through the mud, were still visible on" the tilea with which the flooring is composed. GETTING OVER A DIFFICULTY.—A class which graduated not over a thousand vears ago, embraced among its members one Tom Elliott, an incorrigible wag, who was not noted for any particular anc. marked attention to his studies, i Mathematics was a particular object of Tom's ! disregard, and this caused him an occasional \ jtu d' tsprit with the drv professor of conics. j On one occasion, the professor, during the reci tation, asked Tom to explain the horizontal pa j rallax of the sun. Tom replied : "I don't know how." 1 "But," said the professor, "suppose you were appointed by thp government to ascertain it what AVOU M you do 1" "I'd resign," gravely responded Tom, amid the convulsive laughter of the class, and even the professor actually perpretrated a grin. AT Hrn POST. —An old lady was very much addicted to going to slepp in church—a habit which she avowed she couid not help. One evening, a prayer meeting was to take place in the church of which she was a worthy member, and she informed her family that she was going to it. One of her daughters said to her, "It is no use lor you to go to church—you will be sure to go to sleep." "I don't care if I do," she replied, "I shall be at my post." honest Jonathan from the interior on his visit to the metropolis, was awakened one night bv hearing the cry of "Oystes ! buy any oysters!" in the mellifluous tones of a ven der of the luscious shell fish, who was passing un der the window of the hotel. A noise so new to him startled him, and he asked his room-mate what it meant. "I'ts only oysters !" replied his fellow lodger pettishly. "Oysters !" exclaimed Jonathan, in astonish ment : "and do oysters holler as loudjas that ?" 05 s ""! shan't be with you a great while, Jane," said Mr. Melter : "I shan't stay here a great while." "Oh ! Mr. Melter, how can yon talk so?" said Mrs. Melter, with a lugubrious expression of face. "Recause," said he, "I feel as if I was most gone, and that I am just passing away, like a cloud before the rising sun." Mr. Melter verified his prophecy the next day. by running away with a good and sympa thizing sister. [CF = "The question is discussed in some of the Missouri papers, whether raising hemp is a good' business. A much better business, certainly than being raised by it. ttjr"A bankrupt, on being condoled with for his embarrassment, replied : "Oh, lam not at all embarrassed ; it is my creditors that are em barrassed." (Er~"Wliy did Adam bite the apple ?" asked a school-master of one of his pupils. "Because he had no knife to cut it." replied the hopeful biblical student. Eastern poet says the glance of his mistress would ripen peaches on a garden wall. (CP"" What a blessed 'change for society," says Punch, "it would be, if all the numerous rascals now upon the furf were under it in stead. is contentment? To sit in the house and see other people stick in the mud. What are wages here ?" asked a labor er of a boy. "I don't know, sir." "What does your father get on Saturday night ?" "Get," said the boy,"why he gets as tight as a brick." IT?""The worst feature in a man's face is his nose—when stuck in other people's business.— Remember that—you who are in the habit of bobbing round. VOL 1, NO. 27.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers