"What is the purpose of this spirit, Mr. Marley?" "The spirit will make ap parent to Mr. Scrooge the joys of Christmas as it is now, and how he can help to make it more joyous, just as the spir it of Christmas Past will show him the joys of Christ mases in his past...and also remind him of the shameful manner in which he failed physics in college." The pleasant smiling figure kow towed once again and silently will first be visited by the disappeared. spirit of Christmas Past-- "And now...the last spir his past, not long past. You it....the most frightening of know, like when he was a child." all." The squirrel cringed "I didn't know he was ever and the cold air blew around a child, sir. I thought he was us icily and without relent. hatched in his present form." The air grew thick and heavy "You know, kid, if you and the trees took on a somber don't watch yourself, I may and morbid air. The sky not talk to you at all." darkened and the cloud clus "ls that a promise, sir? "tered together above our heads. "Silence!" he bellowed at Marley whispered, "The ghost me, which was quite a feat, of Christmas to C0me...." for squirrels aren't very good at bellowing. Listen to one sometime, and you'll see what I mean. "Now, where was I?" he continued. "Oh, yes. Mr. Scrooge will be visited by the spirit of Christmas Past." continued from page two A large image wavered before me. "Behold the spirit of Christmas Past!" cried the squirrel, and scam pered-behind a bush. The image standing before me was wearing a straw hat with a bumper sticker on it. I could barely make out the words. It read: Physics is Fan. A moaning whis per assailed me. "Physics is fun...physics is fun... physics is fun...." I shuddered. "Oh, how horrible. You will drive the poor man in sane. He can't have done anything that wrong." "There is a purpose to it, child. Wait... Behold, the spirit of Christmas Present!" Another image took form in front of me. It smiled and kowtowed politely. In one hand it was holding a large paper shopping bag; in the other it clutched a manila folder filled with marbles. The spirit smiled.again, and said good naturedly, "The top of the day to you, Mr. Scrooge." Highaoree Collegian, The image before me was swathed in black and was wearing a high fake fur Russian hat with a buckle on the side. It glared at me relentlessly and murmured, "So you wanted your pie in the sky too soon, did you? You wanted your pie in the sky now, eh**oo,9" I covered my eyes, as the horrifying apparition before me was too frightening for me to behold. Nancy scampered behind me and panted, "Wow, that one even scares me some times." When I dared to uncover my eyes, I found that the ap parition had turned his hollow eyes upon me, and I caught his icy gaze upon my face. His moldy lips moved, and he mur mured at me, "And...always re- December 16. 1974 - Page Three member....the legend of the Great Hat...." With that final warning note he faded into the nothingness of the icy air our rounding him. In a second's time the air around me was filled with apparitions, all flying and shouting. One spirit cried out, "Call me Carl," while another moaned over and over again, "Sing it again, sopranos. Another filled the sky with cries of "This is the real world!" One just kept repeat ing over and over again, "Neat...neat...neat me," A ghost with a New York accent smoking a pipe kept quoting sources I had never heard of and admonishing me for never having heard of them. One spoke Burmese and waved a chemical model in my face. One scatterd computer cards to the winds, and said, "That was a people mistake...a people mistake..." One quoted Shakespeare and another quoted formulas. I covered my ears and closed my eyes to shut out the cacophany of the spirits. A few seconds later I felt a gentle bite on my ankle. Marley was looking up at me, and, if a squirrel can smile, was grinning wildly. "Do you hear that?" he chattered anxiously. "Do you hear that? The spirits have al ready done their work!" I uncovered my eyes and looked around. The spirits were gone, and Mt. Scrooge was hanging out of the Commons window crying, "Merry Christ mas to all and a Happy New Year!" Marley swished his tail and crawled under a bush. He looked up at me and yawned. "Good night. I have a few weeks a sleep to catch up on. Oh---and have a Merry Christ mas yourself." "You too, sir." I shook my head to dispel the feeling of illusion that was troubling me, but when I heard Mr. Scrooge wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, I decided it hadn't been a dream after all.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers