HIGHACRES COLLEGIAN
THE FABLE OF MR* FUNK
Although Mr* Funk* author of the above
mockery of correct grammar, makes his
living by writing, it is not advisable
to go along with every thing he has to
say in his article. I agree with Mr*
Funk that, in speaking, there are times
when conversational grammar is preferred
over formal grammar. However, vulgate
(illiterate and slangy) grammar, such as
'■nui't" and double negatives, are never
proferred® Words, like clothing, must
bo appropriate. A green bow tie does
not go with a full dress suit, nor is
a tuxedo appropriate on a golf course*
Choose your grammatical forms according
to the situation at hand. You’re not
being a snob if you use correct grammar
wnen you’re speaking to the garbage
collector, but you would be labeled as
quite a bumpkin if you used ’’ain't"
and double negatives when speaking to a
college professor.
I don’t wish to disagree with Mr* Funk’s
writing, but I certainly can’t agree with
him that volgate grammer may, in some
situation, be considered good grammar.
In the American TT eekly Mr* Funk was
referred to as an"expert", however, he
miserably flunked an eighth-grade grammar
test which he himself prepared* If that’3
the way experts are graded, it seems
that I may be considered to be an expert
too* Incidentally, Mr# Funk is also the
author of "It Pays To Increase Your
Word Power" for Readerb Digest*
One more item which Mr* Funk bvei’.ght up
in his article is that he is of the
opinion that all the old textbooks, along
with the words correct and incorrect
should be thrown out" the window# I
believe that,lf Mr# Funk practiced what
he preaches, he would not have become the
recognized author that he ia today#
Personally, I don't have anything against
old man Funk, I just want to know who’s J
the guy that invented "who and whom!'
by Gene Tihansky
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GOSSIP INCORPORATED
By Bee”"and Jay
Well, here we are <*—— finally. It was
pretty rough, but we made it. We’ve
had plenty of time to try and dig up
slander, so adjust your contact lenses
and see the results.
First of all we want to wish our new
major of R.0.1.C., Bob Parsons, a lot
of luck with his herd of airmen. (He’ll
need itj) Fe realize that all the
birdmen are sadt'ly disappointed because
they can wear their uniforms only once
a week- —-—but that's the breaks of the
game.
By now I guess you all know that this
column is under new management. The
reason for this is that due to difficul
ties beyond her control "Linda" decided
to bug out to the Campus while the
"bugging" was good. In other words, she
was told to get out of town.
The absence of some other people who
"chickened" out and. went to the Campus,
has also been noticed. (Especially by
a certain fewl)
"' e hear by way of the grapevine that a
certain drummer around school -has been
seen lately with a blond majorette from
H.H.S. Also in the romance department,
there seems to be something developing
between a certain miss from Coaldale
and a guy from Stroudsburg.
Feb. 28, 1958