I The Behrend Beacon
Behrend students do You Tube
By Neil J. Peters
asst, college life editor
njpSOXtO psii.edu
When most people think of You Tube sensa
tions. they think of such videos as Bo
Burnham's New Math. Charlie the Unicorn.
My New Haircut, and the dude who got tasered
at the John Kerry Speech. Such web-legend;,
have been chronicled into the annuls of
Internet history as some of the funniest images
a person could see without wetting themselves.
But. did you know that there are many up-and
coming You Tube sensations on this very cam
pus? It's true! Several of our very own Niltany
Lions are on the fast track to You Tube stardom.
The "Related Videos" box is overflowing with
tags such as Behrend. PSB. or Drunk. (And
generally all the really funny videos include
that last D-word.) You Tube them if you don't
believe me!
Wait! Wa
Not so fast
order to sa
you some
your valuab!
time that cou
be put to beti
use doing c
lege thing
(i.e.: Studyin 1
homewor
drinking, peei,
on couchi
whilst in
drunken stup<
etc.): I've cot
piled a list
the best ai
brightest videi
on the
Please
unt * Students display innovation with creative trash disposal
Sports and Skill Videos
1. Pong Trick Shots PSB Legendary: First
on my list is a video filled to the brim with
sweet skill and a side of awesome. Watch in
awe as our intrepid heroes Zack. Jon. Pat.
Kevin make some of the cra/iest shots you've
ever seenl These guys really know how to han
dle some balls. They can do anything. Bounce
it off an ironing hoard? Ricochet it against a
wall, overhead light, and several pieces of fur
niture? Not a problem! If you can manage to
watch this video and not drop your jaw. you are
officially more of a man than I am.
2. PSB EPIC PONG SHOTS: It s pretty
much the same as number 1. Onlv it has even
Whiskey Chronicles
By Matthew Schwabenbauer
college life editor
mjss3B7(" pMi.edu
Many Behrend students visit Niagara Falls at
some point during their time at our school.
Despite the world-renowned landmark, most of
our students aren't there for sightseeing. They
go for one reason: a drinking age of 19. You
could consider it our Mecca.
When going to Niagara Falls, most people
expect a fun night ahead of them. Go to some
bars, meet some new people, get black-out
drunk. You know, the usual stuff. One thing
you never expect to happen is to be restrained
by bouncers at a nightclub while the owner is
throwing haymakers at your teeth.
Such a tragedy occurred to one of my
friends, who. for the purposes of this article
we will refer to as Striker. One summer night.
Striker and some of his friends decided to take
a trip to Niagara Falls to drink at some bars and
casinos. Upon crossing the border, the group
was not three blocks into Canada before they
stopped at a beer distributor.
After checking into their hotel. Striker and
his friends drank a few beers and then headed
to a bar. In the hour Striker and his crew were
at this bar, they ended up doing five yaeger
bombs and decided it w as a good idea to go to
a casino.
Now, Striker doesn't like to gamble, so he
just sat at the bar and drank the whole time and
inadvertently got very drunk. After his friends
Finished gambling, the whole group headed
back to the bar. and it was at this point that the
trouble began.
In his own words, striker was "pretty ham
mered” when they got back to the bar. Being
the Cougar he is. Striker noticed a sixty-year
old woman and decided to begin hitting on her.
She was at the bar with her husband.
In his drunken stupor Striker actually
believed that this woman enjoyed being hit on.
despite her husband being right next to her. so
he began to rub her leg under the table. The
woman didn’t reject Striker s advances, so he
was convinced that he "was totally about to get
laid.” It was then that Striker's friends inter
vened and asked him what he was doing.
Despite them advising against intimacy with a
If you have a Whiskey Chronicle of your own vou'd like to see published, send it to mjss3B7(« l psu.edu,
Tlw Hell rend Reman in no urn/ encourages underage drinking.
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cra/ier tricks and better musie. Cast includes:
Brvan. Dave. Mike F. and Mike S.
3. psb beer pong: A parody of videos 1 &
2. Watch it after von see the others
4. Parking Lot Riding: Contrary to popu
lar belief, you don't need mountains to ski. All
you need is a four-wheel drive truck, a
towropc. some guts, and a high tolerance for
pain. The guys in this video have all of those
things in spades. Watch in suspense as Sam
and Erie go off sweet jumps at 50 mph while
Tim and Brian drive. It's good clean fun.
Campus Insanity
4. Penn .State Behrend - Dobbins: It's good,
clean physical humor. Two dudes battle for
kart riding supremacy, and like The
Highlander, there can only be one.
5. Sled ride down Dobbins Stairwell: a once
fun Childhood Activity+ Potentially
Dangerous
ist +
be an engi
neering major, because this video shows some
serious innovation in waste disposal. I can’t
tell you what happens because it will ruin the
experience, but take it form me: after you
watch this you'll he thinking, "why didn't I
think of that ’"
You Tube is truly a remarkable thing. It
allows the average American to be creative and
express oneself to the entire world. So please,
1 beg of you. put on your thinking caps and cre
ate something spectacular with the awesome
imaginative power we have been granted
with... Or just get really wasted and tape your
self doing something stupid. Either way, you
might get a good result.
sixty-ycar-old woman. Striker continued rub
bing the woman's leg.
Since everyone was very intoxicated at this
point, the intervention was causing quite a
scene. Enough of one for the club's bouncers
to pull my buddy aside. The first thing the
bouncers did was ID Striker, and when they
found out he was 19 they were prepared to let
him go
Striker didn't like the bouncer questioning
his age. so he began to mouth off. While my
amigo was running his mouth, all the bouncer
did was smile. The next thing he knew. Striker
was being pushed through the bar by two
bouncers holding his arms behind his back.
Striker realized he was in a position where he
could cause a scene and get a lot of attention so
he took it.
Striker started yelling at the bouncers, chal
lenging them and telling them they were “big
hardasses." and so on. The bouncers saw this
as a good enough reason to retrieve the club’s
ow ner to help quell the situation, but my friend
decided to trash talk him as well.
One thing led to another, and pretty soon the
bouncers were holding Striker back as the bar’s
owner was punching him in the head. Despite
being obviously disenfranchised. Striker con
tinued to call out the owner. “Oh what a big
boy! Hit me with my arms behind my back.
Let’s take this outside!" The bouncers listened
and literally threw my comrade out of the club.
Even though he had just been physically
beaten. Striker continued to berate the bounc
ers from outside of the bar while his friends
held him back. Deciding enough was enough,
one of the guys started to walk him back to the
hotel.
Unsurprisingly, Striker was blacking out at
this point and not really remembering what
happened. Once they were about halfway back
to their hotel, Striker realized what he had done
and instead of going back to the hotel, he
turned around ran back to the bar before his
friend could stop him.
If you think that this night couldn’t have got
ten worse for Striker, you are wrong. Find out
how Striker faired in round two against the
bouncers next week..
Write for the College Life page of The Behrend Beacon
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Taking
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Ben Stiller. Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. play "dudes playing other dudes" in Tropic Thunder
le: This
man must
Tropic Thunder trumps
“I don't know what it’s called, 1 just know what sound
it makes when it takes a man's life," growled Four Leaf
Tayback (a scraggly Nick Nolte) when asked about his
weapon. Tayback. a Vietnam veteran who lost his hands
in the conflict, wrote a book (of the same name) about
the suicide mission he went on. T\vo of the three other
vets who went on the mission followed suit, but only
Tayback got the movie deal. Tropic Thunder chronicles
the disastrous attempt to bring Tayback's story to the
silver screen.
Taking a different approach than most movies in the
genre. Tropic Thunder reveals the backgrounds of char
acters through several parody commercials. The first
features Alpa Chino, a rapper-turned-actor played by
Brandon T. Jackson, in his “big-ballin" commercial for
his energy drink Booty Sweat, which pokes fun at some
of the more silly aspects of thug culture. Next, a fake
movie trailer appears with Tugg Speedman (Ben
Stiller), who is a washed up action star who held the
title of the highest paid actor in the world. More recent
ly, Speedman has been producing Hops, including an ill
advised venture into serious acting in a film called
Simple Jack. Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black), a mildly talent
ed comedic actor with drug issues, then takes the screen
for his fake movie Fatties. He plays multiple characters
by himself, very similar to Eddie Murphy's The Nutty
Professor but more prone to flatulence. Finally there is
Kirk Lazarus, (Robert Downey Jr.), a 5-time Academy
Award winning method actor who submerges himself so
deeply in his roles (he underwent pigmentation alter
ation to play the black character) that he doesn’t get out
of character until after the DVD commentary.
After we become friends with the main characters, the
film gets down to business. Damien Cockburn. a fresh
man director (Steve Coogan) is trying to grab hold of
the reins of his star-studded cast, angry producer (Tom
Jim Bobrowicz
Please Join Us!!
September 13 th
2pm^m
E-mail Matthew Schwabenbauer at:
mjss3B7@psu.edu
By Michael Way
staff writer
nirw.S 133<s'psu.edu
Benefit for
$lO Donation at door J
AdcMonal Dondora pteasc cnuM
aiurovlcc^rmajrjoorn
Friday, September 12, 2008
comedic competition
Cruise), and difficult schedule. Tayback gives him the
idea of taking the pampered actors out of their element
by dropping them into the real jungle, while shooting
the movie guerilla style. Faced with the threat of
impending eunuch-hood by Cruise’s power-freak char
acter. Damien immediately takes to this idea. After they
get their actors out into the wilderness, things spiral out
of control. Tugg is captured by a heroine syndicate and
the rest of the “unit” has to save him, closely following
the battle plan. "The Wet Offensive,” from Tayback's
book. Tropic Thunder features interspersed cameos fea
turing big names such as Jon Voight, Alicia Silverstone.
and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Matthew McConaghey (How
to Lose o Guy in 10 days) plays another crucial role as
Speedman’s agent, torn between fortune and loyalty to
his best friend.
Many of Tropic Thunder's spoof jokes are dead on
when it comes to other war films and Hollywood in gen
eral. The music also fits the scenes they are ascribed to.
but in their own way typical of what you'd expect,
which is part of the fun.
There have been a few controversies involving this
film, most notably the Simple Jack subplot and
Lazarus's pigmentation alteration to play the part of the
black character. The producers defend the Simple Jack
part, and rightfully so. by explaining that it's purpose is
to satirize the type of emotionally exploitative movie it
represents, and those who play the parts in them. Also.
Downey’s role as Lazarus is not offensive at all. he's
just insanely entertaining. During the movie they point
out how wrong it is and even Lazarus realizes that he
may have gone too far.
Tropic Thunder is a fun-filled joy ride from start to
finish, that intelligently lampoons the hollywood
movie-making process. The only concerns that I'll
voice is that the movie is definitely not for kids, with
foul language running throughout and some hilariously
excessive gore at times. Tropic Thunder has been rated
R by the MPAA for pervasive language, including sex
ual references, violent content and drug material.
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