Page 10
The Behrend Beacon
Playboy baring its ugly side
by Lenore Skenazy
New York Daily News
Playboy: a magazine published by a
prune in pajamas who actually believes
those blond twins think he’s hot. In
other words, a harmless diversion for
the pathetic and deluded.
That’s pretty much what I thought of
the venerable pom publication until last
week. Then came the Enron offer: Any
woman laid off by the corrupt corpo
ration was invited to apply for the “ex
citing opportunity” to pose for a picto
rial.
Wear a lot, earn a little. Wear a little,
earn a lot
On Monday, Playgirl launched a
similar salvo, soliciting Men of Enron
hunks, and this just seemed like a great
publicity stunt. Got us all giggling. A
guy taking off his clothes is goofy.
But a desperate woman taking her
clothes off is a much sadder, older
story. In fact, it’s pretty much the old
est story of the world's oldest profes
sion. Which is what makes Playboy’s
offer so gross.
“What kind of scavenger scum would
say, ‘Oh, gee, I’ve got a great idea!
Let’s get the women who have just lost
their jobs and life savings and give
them a chance to pose naked?”’ rails
my friend Laura. “To me, that’s pick
ing on a group of vulnerable people
who just happen to have breasts.”
Among other things.
In the past, Playboy’s pictorials
didn’t focus on the downtrodden. They
featured college students - the Women
of the Ivy League, for instance - or the
women of sundry piquant professions:
the Women of Wall Street, of Wash
ington, even the Women of the IRS.
What did all these ladies have in
Through the Looking Glass
A 47-year-old Colorado man has been convicted of assault for spitting carrots at a deputy sheriff, but his legal troubles are
not over.
He still faces separate trials on the following charges: threatening a bond commissioner, threatening a Burger King em
ployee and trying to kill his girlfriend with a sword.
WE’LL REALLY MISS THEM ... UH, HER
Lolo Ferrari, France’s most famous porn star, died two years ago of what police in Marseille said at the time were natural
causes. They have since revised the cause of death for the lovely Lolo, who boasted 71-inch breasts. Suffocation.
It’s not what you may think. Her husband has been arrested for her murder.
LOOKS LIKE A CASE FOR THE SANDMAN
Silvia Umile, a fortune teller in Las Heras, Argentina, accused a local woman of sneaking into her dreams at night and
stealing her powers to predict winning lottery numbers.
Authorities have thus far declined to file charges.
— P— — ———————
Crossword
ACROSS
1 Stirling citizens
6 Skyline feature
11 Actor Kilmer
14 Tippy craft
15 Of sound quality
16 A Gershwin
17 Pleasant smell
18 Merchandise on
hand for
replacements
20 Heart regulators
22 Otherwise
23 & so on
24 Altar vow
25 Bar bills
27 Permits
30 Interrupts
34 “Beau "
36 Carrier bags
38 End of a sock
39 Etcher’s
substance
40 Predatory
seabirds
41 Cry out loud
42 Sell-out letters
43 Constructed
44 Ethical
45 India-Pakistan
region
47 Video recording
49 and crafts
51 Bill's partner?
52 Ms. Gardner
55 Prison knife
58 Emphasizes with
slanting letters
61 Secluded
religious
community
63 Slain civil-rights
leader
64 Coffee server
65 Ken and Lena
66 Chutzpah
67 Dodge fuel
68 Religious grp.
69 Double curves
DOWN
1 Land’s end?
2 Jewel weight
3 From time to
time
4 Weighty book
5 Marine distance
Ct 2002 Tribune Madia Ikvlom, fcio
Ml fights rwamd
Solutions
6 U S. conductor
Leopold
7 Church leader
8 Inactive
9 Plunders
10 High RRs
11 Orchestra
member
12 Parabolas
13 Michigan or
Ontario
19 Tryout
21 Pother
26 Public transport
28 Inc. in England
29 Sfe. Marie
31 Observatory
users
32 Hawkeye Stale
33 Foster film
34 Fight to breathe 44 Epoch of the
35 Stocking shade Tertiary Period
37 Devastating 46 Krakatau's
disaster neighbor
40 Caption’s cousin 48 Taro product
41 mot (witticism) 50 Pewter mug
43 Tavern 53 Vitality
Hugh Hefner shows off a future Playboy Bunny.
common? Power. Those Ivy League
lasses will one day run America. The
women of Washington already do. And
the chicks at the IRS can reduce any man
to tears.
Guys got a kick out of seeing these
ladies naked because it turned the tables:
Intimidating women were now submis
sive. The man was on top.
Which is fine. That’s the nature of por
nography: Men fantasizing about will
ing women. And if these power babes
stripped for fun or pocket money or plain
the weekly column thafasks if there is intelligent life out there
by Mike Pingree
KRT Campus
HE DID SEEM OUT-OF-SORTS LATELY
54 Fools
55 Complacent
56 Round dance
57 Lodges
59 River in Tuscany
60 Currier and
62 Grassy ground
wm tunEs
S FUNNIES
Friday ; April 19, 2002
old naughtiness, that was their choice
But the women of Enron are the op
posite of powerful. They are out of work.
Many have children to feed. Some may
feel they have only one thing left to sell.
And Playboy’s buying.
“When one door closes, another one
opens!” is how Gary Cole, Playboy’s
photography editor, describes the Enron
offer. But what door, exactly, is open
ing?
The door to a great new job that just
happens to require nudity before an au-
<JL Recipes for You!
/“*S Milkshakes
Chocolate Shake
2 cups vanilla ice cream
1 1/4 cups low fat milk
2 tablespoons chocolate flavor Nesquik mix
2 cups vanilla ice cream
1 1/4 cups low fat milk
3 tablespoons strawberry flavor Nesquik mix
1. Combine all ingredients for the shake flavor of your choice in a
blender and mix on high speed until smooth. Stop blender, stir and
blend again, if necessary to combine ingredients.
2. Pour into two 12-ounce cups, (http://www.topsecretrecipes.com)
We want your recipes!
Send your submissions to >
behrooUß@uol.oom.
Don’t cop out and raid your mom’s recipe
box. We want recipes from college ata-y
We can all agree...lt was the shoes that made Hugh famous
Ingredients:
Vanilla Shake
2 cups vanilla ice cream
11/4 cups low fat milk
3 tablespoons sugar
Strawberry Shake
Serves 2.
dents, for college students!
S>==o C>“
dience of homy men? Sounds more like
the end of the line.
“We’re not forcing them to do any
thing,” insists Playboy Enterprises’
spokesman Bill Farley. True. And nei
ther are the guys who come to starving
villages, offering cash for the cutest
girls.
But there’s a word for those men, just
like there’s a word for the folks at Play-
boy: Pimp
—————————l
Karl Benacci, Features Editor
Horoscopes
Horoscopes *
Horoscopes
To get the advantage, check the day's rating:
10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging,
Aries (March 21-April 19) - Today is a 6 -
“Show me the money!” That’s what you’ll
be saying. Go straight to the bottom line. April
20-May 20) - Today is a 7 - You’re gaining
respect by voicing your well-reasoned phi
losophy.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) - Today is a 6 -
Take it slow and easy a little while longer.
Do more planning.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) - Today is a 7 -
Confer with friends to complete a tricky as
signment. One of you should have the per
fect scheme.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) - Today is a 7 - If
you practiced over the weekend, you’re well
prepared. If you didn’t, you may not perform
as well as you know you could.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) - Today is a 7 -
Be trustworthy and practical now, and you’ll
get more responsibility soon.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct 22) - Today is a 7 -
You’re anxious to act, but something is hold
ing you back. Is it unjustified anxiety, or good
sense? Probably the latter. There’s something
to be said for being sure you can pay the bills
before incurring them.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)- Today is a 7 -
Make a solid connection with someone you
know you can trust. After that’s done, it’ll be
easy to discuss a delicate subject, like who’s
going to pay for what. You’ll both feel better
once that’s done.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) - Today is a
6 - You’re still in a take-charge frame of mind.
The most disgusting tasks on your list will
be easy.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) - Today is an
8 - There’s a glow left over from this week
end. Enjoy it as you ease into your soon-to
be busy schedule.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) - Today is a 6 -
After getting off to a slow start, you may start
to wake up tonight. .
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) - Today is an 8
- A preconceived notion topples as you gain
knowledge and experience. Something you
thought was too difficult gets easy. But the,
reverse could happen, too, so don’t get cocky.
DITHERED TW?TS by Stan Waling
WWW dtwits com
"Yeah, they're nice folks, but gees
they sure could use a breath mint!"
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