For many years now, the local TV stations have advertised - products which are so unique that "they have never been - offered to the public before." But the thing - that really makes them treasures is the fact that they offer many other gifts which are just as useless as the original product. For instance. "AT LAST! THE product has arrived to end your cabbage cutting miseries forever.(ln all honesty * I never had any miseries of this nature before. I'll have to ask my psychiatrist about that.) But not only does it do more to/for a head of cabbage - than - has - ever - been attempted before, but it can also leave more room in your icebox for such things as pop, ice cream, candy, and other things that rot little kids' teeth..." The commercial goes on to garble that if you order now, they will throw in--ABSOLUTELY FREE-- any assortment of items ranging from ten shares of stock in Edsel to World Series tickets for the Nets all the way down to a Don Rickles book on "How to Make People Feel at Ease." Now the response that these commercials elicit must be phenomenal when you figure that eney are shown an average of once an hour and twice an hour during, football games (This rakes a lot on sense: not only do the viewers miss about ten minutes of the game, but I'm sure that these companies derive most of their customers from football fans. Rights Yespite all this, the fact that these people can give the world away (or so it seems) in a relatively short space of time quite intrigues' me. Therefore ; I felt that this type of adver.- tising should be brought to the nation's, .better yet, the world's attention; and for a product, we'll need something that the universe is familiar with, but it does not get a lot of selling space. Let's use a Rolls Royce, because have you ever seen it advertised on Captain Kangaroo? So it begins:Friends, has your prestige suf fered lately? Do you feel ill at ease with stra gers because you have nothing in common to talk about at social gatherings? Well, the makers of Mix-o-matic, Sticks-o-matic, and sons-of-sticks o-matic have come up with something SO revolu tionary, SO unique that the other competitors are still lost at the drawing board. It will not go on sale in stores for some time to come yet, but we offer it to YOU, our bread-and-but ter suckers...er,..customers because you have so wholeheartedly endorsed cur other products. This is a car, by the way, and it features buc ket seats, all vinyl incerior, battery booster cables in the trunk (another bonus!), and it comes in grey, red, and chartreuse. NOW(and here comes the bonus) if you order in the next seven days, we will throw in, AT NO COST TO YOU, white wall tires, chrome wheel covers, radio, heater, steering wheel, AND IF YOU are among the first fifty people to write in your order, our co , lpany ;Les been authorized to give away, with our Rolls - free copy of "Safety on the Streets le Riding a Bicycle" which we boueht (whole sale) froro Dias Dnag School. Now rush your or der, iac:n? . , with 10,777.4:?. (plus a small charge for postage) to CAR, Box. 657. GYPU TV. Remem ber,rush, that's R-U-S-11 your cash, that's in care of car, that's C-A-R, I::. , .levision, that's T-E-L-1-B—never piad,just JACKSON'S JARGON by J.C. Jackson send your dough for our pretty au-to (here the Mormon Tabernacle choir harmonizes a la Madison Avenue) and, Happy Payments! REPORT OF THE COFFEE CLATCHE On Wednesday January 17, a student faculty coffee hour was held in the quiet study louseiii the an- On hand for this in formal , _-.nerlai7 ; were nine teachers, including Dean Lane and Dean Crereling, and about twenty- five studemts. To2ir:s which were openly hashed-out included drinkiag or. r.ampus, grading systems, and the ed itorial the last Ni any Cub. 1):7. itn T. significant drinking problea on campus. it was decieded that students still drink, but that the problem was not as significant asbefore. The next topic was the grading system, and could be inq - iroved, Mr. Foote and Mr. Redford suggested new methods and the pros and cons were added by students. It was concluded, however, that the present method of grading will not be changed. how it Perhaps the most controversial issue which was discussed at the meeting was an editorial that appeared in the last issue of the Nittany Cub Pntitlr , d "The Scar-=-:1 Cow Lives" article :clot with strong opposition. Mrs. Bacon state& that tho article was trite, childish, sneaky, cutting, vicious, etc. Mr. Fryer added that the editorial was also ambiguous. Various descriptions were added by other members of the "opinionated nine". In ail fairness, it must be said that the teachers raised good points,and 7.0-72 CS present, promised to take these Staf! molinnsamtalimatmmilltt:emmswimw.A should bc! that the instructors to whom the editc:rial referred were not present at ti - tc-.::=:;',E . fe.e 1-10 , _ zr . Da .an Laate, ;•.u ., .wavcr, stated that it was one of t -, ,T most , :ucceF,sful Coffee Clatches he has ever al - Landed at Behrend. Plans are being made to have these "hours" more often in the future. E WI-le pp.077: - .• 7 ? Anyboay want t 3 buy a C:nristmns iree? oPanec oy as:lcing 1; t - .ere was a nz. • 41.1 S
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers