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The Cissne
Awards
The Academy awards. Boring! The Grammy's. Who cares?
ESPN's Espy awards. A little better.
Here is what everyone has been waiting for: The First Annual
Cissne Awards.
THE POETIC JUSTICE AWARD
Nominees: Jane Fonda, Jack Morris and Gino Torretta.
Winner: It took no thought at all to decide the winner of this
award. Torretta, who did not deserve to win the Heisman, is the
hands-down winner. He has a weak arm, lacks mobility and had the
good fortune of playing on an excellent team. On Monday, the big,
bad Hcisman winner was chosen in the seventh round of the NFL
draft.
TEAM OF THE YEAR
Nominees: The Pittsburgh Penguins, The Phoenix Suns, the
Dallas Cowboys and the Philadelphia Phillies.
Winner: As much as I dislike them, the Penguins are the team of
the year. They are on a collision course for their third straight
Stanley Cup and they reeled off an incredible streak of 17 consecutive
wins this season.
MO' MONEY AWARD
Nominees: Reggie White, Barry Bonds and Mike Krzyzewski.
Co-Winners: Barry Bonds went to San Francisco because of the
weather and because his father played there right? Wrong. He went
there because of money, money and mo' money. The Duke
basketball team recently changed their basketball apparel from Adidas
to Nike. Did they change because Nike is a better shoe than Adidas?
No, no, no. They changed because Duke's head coach, Mike
Krzyzewski recently signed a 15 year-$3?5,000 contract with Nike.
Oh yeah, the contract included a measly one million dollar signing
bonus.
Nominees: The Bills comeback against the Oilers in the NFL playoffs, the
Phillies 9-8 comeback win over the San Francisco Giants, the Tar Heels NCAA
victory over the Michigan Wolverines.
Winner: This year's NCAA final game was one of the most exciting ever. North
Carolina's 77-71 victory over the Wolverines was much closer than the score. If
Michigan's Chris Webber hadn't forgotten that his team had run out of timeouts, the
Fab' Five might have been national champions.
CHOKE OF THE YEAR
Nominees: Chris Webber, the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Houston Oilers
Winner: Chris Webber. See above.
SHAME OF THE YEAR
Nominees: The Dallas Mavericks, the AFC and Marge Schott
Winner: Although Dallas was pathetic, the AFC proved that they are truly inferior
to the NFC (the last time the AFC won a Super Bowl was 1983). Marge Schou
deserves this award more than David Koresh deserved a fiery death. Schott was a
glaring example of everything that is wrong in sports and in society today. There is
no excuse for racial, ethnic or sexual prejudice anywhere, especially in sports where
the only judgement should be how well you perform your job.
HATE TO SEE YOU GO
Nominees: Nolan Ryan, Richard Petty and Larry Bird.
Co-Winners: It is impossible for me to choose between Larry Bird and Nolan
Ryan. These are two athletes who have left a permanent mark on their respective
sports. Ryan has established some records that may never be broken, and Bird has
won almost everything there is to win: MVP, the NBA championship and an
Olympic gold medal. Sorry Rich, no checkered flag this time.
ATHLETE OF THE YEAR
Nominees: Charles Barkley, Pete Sampras, Emmitt Smith and Shannon Miller.
Winner: I may be biased, but the winner is Charles Barkley. He led the Phoenix
Suns to an NBA best 62-20 record. Barkley averaged 25.6 points per game, 122
rebounds per game and led the Suns in assists. He has had many MVP seasons
before, but has never been given the honor. So Charles, here is the award you have
always wanted, The Cissne Award.
SPORTSMAN OF THE YEAR
Nominees: Mario Lemieux, Mario Lemieux and Mario Lemieux.
Winner: Although I don't like the Penguins and hockey is not high on my list of
favorite sports, Mario is amazing. He led the league in scoring this season while
battling for - his life. He was faced with a major obstacle, Hodgkin's disease, and
skated right through it. If there were more Mario Lemieux's on this planet, it would
surely be a better place.
by Matthew D. Cissne
Co eduor
GAME OF THE YEAR
Sports
The Cycling Team will be finishing up its season of collegiate racing when Dave Chadwick, Bill
Sides, Greg Cacali, and Pat Werner compete in the Eastern Conference Championships at
State College this weekend. The team will be capping off a sucessful season that has included
several wins. They have competed in four stage races so far this year, which include Cornell
University, Slippery Rock University, Indiana University of PA, and a race that was held by the
Behrend Team. When the team held their own race, they met with some success. Greg Cacali,
racing the B category, finished 2nd in the road race,lst in the time trial even after crashing, and
2nd in the criterium, to earn himself second place overall for the weekend. In the C category,
Rick Beckett, Pat Werner, and John Yankasky finished second, fourth, and fifth respectively for
the overall weekend, in a fierce battle against the team from Washington & Jefferson , also
highlighted with a stage win by Scott Ramsey. This past weekend at lUP, the team finished 6th
for the weekend, and 7th for the season, out of 18 teams. This performance was supported
with strong rides from Pat Werner, Mike Hertner, and Dave Chadwick. But the best
performance of the weekend was from Greg Cacali, who finished 3rd, 2nd, andlst in the
individual races, earning himself a first place for the entire weekend.
THE NEW LIBRARY
AND ACADEMIC BUILDING
WILL BE OPEN
FOR TOURS
FROM 10:30 A.M. UNTIL
ONE HOUR
AFTER GRADUATION
ON SATURDAY, MAY 15
Any students. faculty or staff
who are interested in
volunteering as tour guides
should call Bonnie Fagan
at 898-6159
by Wednesday, May 5.
Training sessions for
tour guides will be conducted
during the week of May 10th.
Thursday, April 29, 1993