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Jim's Journal
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by Mconchiki Ruby Wyner-lo
A.A.B.R-certified Astrobger
Exactly 17 years ago this week,
Ruby Wyner-lo started her Real
Horoscopes column. To celebrate
that glorious day, we proudly
rerun her horoscopes from that
week in 1976.
Aries: (Mar. 21-Apr. 19) Boogie
all night at the local discotheque
and you may meet another Ar
ies. Right on!
Taurus: (Apr. 20-May 20) With
the Bicentennial fast approach
ing, you'd better hurry up and
purchase those red, white, and
blue bell bottoms. Dyn-o-mite!
Gemini: (May 21-June 21) If
someone gives you bad vibes,
just say, "Sit On It!"
Cancer: (June 22 July 22) You're
correct in assuming that the Bay
City Rollers will be the next
Beatles.
Lan (July 23—Aug. 22) Though
youinay be•strilting out at the
beat singles bat, your mood ring
says you are hot, hot, hot!
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Virgo: (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You're
a turn-on in your tight jeans and
feathered hair, but, man, those
elevator shoes are the foxiest.
Libra: (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) 11 you
and your lover are feeling down,
sing The Captain and Tenille's
"Love Will Keep Us Together."
Scorpio: (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Don't
be blue, Starsky—you'U find your
Hutch.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
Your Pacer will break down this
week, but look on the bright
side—now you can roller boogie
to work..
Capricorn: (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) A
good buddy on the CB says, "10-
4. Keep on Truckin'."
Aquarius: (Jan. 20-Feb.lB) Stay
in good health. Get your swine
flu shot today.
Pisces: (Feb. 19—Mar. 20) The
killer bees are coming, so don't
go streaking this week.
01993 Onion Features Synth*
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