Thursday, April 1, 1993
Arnett
by Bob Ferrando
Collision Staff 44. Rival Dealership
At Ford, "Quality is Job #l."
At Penn State-Behrend, recruiting
at any cost is "Job #1". This
was dicovered following an audit
of the SGA treasurer's records.
Bill Meelader, an auditor
representing State College's
Office of Addition and
Subtraction, could not be reached
for comment, but his assistant,
Hugh B. Fulled, did release this
written statement.
"On March 8, 1993, Mr.
Meelader had begun to conduct
the usual annual audit of the
Student Government
Association's balance ledger
when he discovered receipts and
documents reflecting the purchase
of a 1992 Ford Probe. Lou
Porreco, Emmy Arnett, and Paul
Benim's signatures were found on
various registration, bank, and
sales receipts. An in-depth
investigation is under way."
Porreco, owner of Porreco Ford
of Erie, and Arnett, a 2nd
semester DUS major and member
of the women's basketball and
softball teams, could not be
reached for comment. Benim,
assistant women's basketball
coach and head coach of the
women's softball team, was
cornered, tarred and feathered
before commenting on the
situation. "All I did was co-sign
some of the papers; Emmy
promised me that she'd let me
drive the car every once in a
while."
Due to an intense game of
bridge that was going on in the
Behrend Admissions Office, no
comment was released at fast,
but following a healthy donation
these facts were unearthed.
Arnett was heavily recruited by
UCLA, Vanderbilt, Tennessee,
and Penn State-Behrend. Even
though Arnett was offered full 4-
year scholarships from each of
those major schools, she elected
to go to PSU-Behrend.
Athlete of
by Sum Yung Gye
Collision Staff
The Housing and Food Service
Athlete of the Weak is the star
driver on the Behrend Stock Car
Team.
Al "Fahrveg" Vogan finished
dead last in four races last week.
"This is quite an accomplishment
considering all of the other
drivers (on the team) crashed into
each other at the start of each
race. It took a lot of skill for Al
to stay out of those pile-ups,"
said Head Crewman James
"Torque" Bowen.
Vogan started his racing career
quite by accident. "I was gettin'
chased by some cops one night in
my 1972 Cutlass and I out ran
Sports
Probed in scandal
Busted: Two-sport star, Emmy Arnett poses with her Ford Probe which she allegedly received
as the result of a recruiting scandal.
Behrend Athletic Director, Herb
Lauffer, and Women's Basketball
Coach, Jenepher Banker, have
been already been contacted by
the NCAA Rules Committee.
When approached by Collegian
reporter Hal Coffey, Banker and
Lauffer refused to comment.
Coffey was able to locate one of
Arnett's teammates, Anne
Bonner, but when pressed for
comment she screamed, "Eeek!"
and ran.
Greg Farrell, SGA Vice-
President, was in the SGA office
when the discovery was made. In
an interview conducted at the
Plymouth last Thursday, Farrell
slurred, "A Probe! She should've
gotten a Mustang! She could've
the weak
'em. "Torque" saw me and he
caught up to me, and asked if I
wanted to race for Behrend. I said
'Hell yes'," said Vogan.
Vogan is in his second year as
a racer and is having a much
better year than last. " I like to
rev my engine before the start of
a race and sometimes I rev a little
too hard. Last year my engine
blowed up before every race but
now I know how to control it,"
said Vogan.
Vogan is going to leave
Behrend a year early to pursue a
professional career. "Someday I
want to have my own racin'
team, I'm thinkin' about callin' it
'Vogan's Heroes'. Pretty catchy,
Huh?"
see VOGAN on page 12
had a V-B.'" SGA Treasurer
Steve Binder was no where to be
found, although a thorough
search of the Plymouth ensued.
Police and Safety officer David
Lesher, when pressed for
comment, told this reporter that
his wife was in last month's
Playboy, but when asked about
Arnett's vehicle, he said,
"Somehow, she got a hold of one
of those faculty parking permits.
But when I noticed the license
plate which said "TAZ", I looked
inside the vehicle and to my
surprise there were a collection of
speeding tickets scattered
throughout the front seat."
Provost and Dean, Dr. John M.
Lilley, could not be reached for
Page 8
comment since he was on the
phone with Pete Rose, Marge
Schott, and Phil Rizzuto. An
exchange of money, I mean
donation, was discussed, but I'm
sure it was perfectly legal. When
asked about the situation
involving Arnett, Liffey declined
to comment on the grounds that
he likes his Ford Taurus.
THE COLLISION
Everyone loves a
little lie!