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Jun's Journal
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Youriz /Horoscope
rer _ .
Aries: l Mar. 21-Apr. :9 ) Assert
your position ,it work. Refu se to
moppine :he 'plithrootn,
until evervone :ert :or -ne
Taurus: ;Arr. 2....5-May
thing re:lily rani will happen (;)
you this month. Don't ieave the
Gemini: (May ...-' 1-June ) Paul
Bunyan wi ll step into your back
yard and create a canyon the sue
of Minnesota.
Cancer: (June 22-July '2) You
will give birth to a baby boy on
national television. Name him
Little Ricky.
Leo: (July 23-Aug. 22) Surprise
your mate with a gift. Give your
lover a magical trenchcoat lined
with koala skin.
Virgo: (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) A
heavy workload can produce
anxiety. Reduce stress this week
by fondling your genitals in pub
lic.
Libra: (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) Finan
cial rewards will be yours when
Thursday, February 4, 1993
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-1111
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~~ '~~ Vii,'..
.:cKt% contest
Scorpio: Oct.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22-Dec. :1
Capricorn: (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Take up the exciting hobby of
sodv-piercing. Puncture your
eveiids with pop-rivets.
Aquarius: (Jan. 2.0-Feb. 18) Re
member that time when you
were nine years old. and the kids
at school made fun of you be
cause your mom made you wear
boots! Well, those same kids will
he calling you this week to razz
you about your haircut.
Pisces: i Feb. 19-Mar. 20) You
will ascend into Heaven, only to
he gored by an oncoming DC
-10.
01992 Onion Feanires Syndicate
htix ,
/ow itTA,`)
ou enter ,ind win .1 veer-roast-
:4- \;ov
r:lrtv
7;a: , ,%l‘"vnen
ver‘vrie
rain et; i`bi, )11
.tiemarketers Wltl call you ev-
t"‘• six minutes to sell you lawn
chemicals. Buy .1 gross of
milore,amte to shut them up.
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