Thursday, December 10, 1992
'Tis the season to be
Dave Barr
Syndicated Columnist
'Tis the holiday season -- a
time when writers openly use
words like "'tis" and even
"'twas"; a time when throngs of
excited parents bustle into the
Toys Sure "R" Costing "U"
...the dog would
immediately start
trotting in a straight,
purposeful line, and it
would continue night
and day, traveling
thousands of miles if
necessary, defying
exhaustion, starvation
and thirst, until it
located a rug, which it
would throw up on.
Plen-"T" store and club each
other with sturdy Tonka trucks
in fierce holiday struggles over
who gets to purchase the only
remaining unit of the toy
industry's hottest new product
concept, Baby Fester Face ("The
Doll That Develops REAL
BOILS!"); a time when festive
gatherings of loud, eggnog
impaired people attempt to sing
"The Twelve Days of Christmas"
despite the fact that nobody ever
A look at the African-American holiday Kwanzaa
b Calandra.Matthews
11,:e ColkguJn
While man y
preparing for the Pe C *P hr l i e ar stma e s
holiday. many African-
Americans are preparing for
another
_ holi d a y: K wa nzaa •
K wanzaa
is an African.Amedean
thatholiday was founded in 1966
DY lvlaulanaKaeag
Erofessor and chair of the
Californiaapartmentof Black Studies at
tl State university at
Long Beach anddirector of the
-Amelleall Cultural
ter in Los Angeles,
remembers what my true love
gave me after day five:
"... drummers milking
"Eight leapers leaping
"Six snakes a-molting..."'
Yes, the holiday season is a
time of traditions, and here in the
newspaper industry we have a
cherished tradition of reminding
you, the public, of all the
holiday-related ways in which
you can get injured or killed.
We also perform this service for
you on Memorial Day, the
Fourth of July, Labor Day,
Halloween and Thanksgiving.
("Enjoy your turkey dinner, but
remember: This year, 250
Americans will choke on their
giblet.")
So today I want to discuss a
potential holiday disaster that
was brought to my attention by
alert reader Debby Denniston,
who sent me an Associated Press
article that appeared last
December in the Albany (N.Y.)
Times Union. The article, which
I am not making up, begins:
"FREMONT, Neb.-- A 10-
year-old boy trying to keep his
dog from throwing up on a rug
was pinned when the family
Christmas tree fell on top of
him."
This incident should come as
no surprise to anybody who has
ever owned a dog. Throwing up
on rugs is the primary function
Unlike Chanukah or
Christmas, Kwanzaa is a cultural
celebration rather than a religious
one, therefore it can be celebrated
by people of all faiths. Many
African-Americans celebrate both
Kwanzaa and Christmas.
'Kwanzaa was created to
reaffirm our culture and the
bonds between us as a people.' ",
says Dr. Karenga in this month's
issue of Essence magazine. It
encourages all people of African
descent to turn to their culture
and value sYston.
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The Collegian
of dogs, as a species. If you were
to put a dog in the middle of the
Sahara, the dog would
immediately start trotting in a
straight, purposeful line, and it
would continue night and day,
traveling thousands of miles if
necessary, defying exhaustion,
Dave Barry
starvation and thirst, until it
located a rug, which it would
throw up on.
So anyway, when this
Fremont, Neb., dog--whose
name, according to the article, is
Futures
determination), Ujima
(Collective Work and
Responsibility), Ujamaa
(Cooperative Economics), Ilia
(Purpose), and 'Matti (Faith).
At the beginning of the
holiday, a mkeka (straw mat) is
placed on a table, as a
foundation. It represents the
African culture and history.
The kinara (candle holder) is
then placed on top of the inkeka.
The kinara holds seven candles,
called the mishumaa saba. One
black candle in the center
sYetbolizes the PeePie* three red
ones 04 the kft symbolize the
blood of the people, <and three
green OROS on the right
erith r olire their ancestral hemb.
Next* s ,< r OBl3 of
corn , ate Placed on tate table 10
represent the children of the
Otlag fruit and vegetable
turnsotantan) are 1010 dteplayed
to
<' "n':
the fatnales tabor
Ole year,
"Pookie"-- started to woof, the
boy shoved him off the rug.
Naturally, this caused the
Christmas tree to fall. Christmas
trees have some kind of inner-ear
problem that renders them
incapable of standing erect for
any significant length of time. In
their natural forest environment,
they grow horizontally on the
ground, like zucchini.
Compounding the problem is
the fact that Christmas trees are
known to be among the most
vicious members of the plant
community. They become
especially hostile after they've
spent weeks tied up tightly at the
Christmas-tree sales lot while
holiday shoppers repeatedly lift
them up and pound them down
to see if any needles fall off. So
when Dad brings a tree home,
cuts its ropes and tries to jam it
into one of those ludicrously
flimsy, ashtray-sized "tree
stands"--- which are barely
adequate to handle a small floral
centerpiece, let alone an
enranged, full-grown conifer --the
tree, free from its restraining
ropes, will immediately start
lunging violently in all
directions, while Mom, trying to
be helpful, says, "OK, now it's
leaning to the left...OK, now it's
leaning to the right OK, now
it's leaning back to the
left...OK, now it's..."
Although gifts are not a
primary part of Kwanzaa, gifts
(zawadi) may be exchanged.
Most gifts are for the children.
Kwanzaa gifts must have some
cultural meaning or value to
them. Many times, books or
even homemade items are given.
The Karamu (feast) is the
culmination of the Kwanzaa
festivities. This is a celebration
of family and friends that
includes everything from food,
music and dance to singing and
storytelling. The unity cup is
passed around from the oldest to
the youngest, and everyone
comments on how they will
improve their lives in the
conung year using the seven .
P 6110 1 00 3.
la twenty seven YealS,
Kw-ma has "Own to become
en international nob*.< More
than 18 million people
wOrldwideeelelnete havelY Year.
Winding =le students nem al
Belitentt '
their
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EMIE
wary
Meanwhile, Dad, somewhere
down on the floor under the
thrashing branches, pine sap
smeared in his hair, is fighting
for his life, bleeding from
hundreds of tiny pine -needle stab
wounds and saying many non
holiday words. At least that's the
tradition in our house.
But getting back to the
Associated Press article: There
the boy was, alone in his house,
trapped under a highly aggressive
Christmas tree. Fortunately,
Pookie saw what was happening,
trotted alertly over to the boy,
and, in the heroic tradition of
resourceful canines Lassie and
Rin-Tin-Tin, threw up.
No, seriously, the article
states that the boy was able to
reach a phone and call 911,
whereupon "police and
firefighters pulled the tree off the
boy, who was not injured." The
article does not state whether the
police used tranquilizer darts on
the tree.
So fortunately this story has a
happy ending, which is good,
because the holiday season
should be a happy time. So
before we create the impression
that there's nothing more to this
very special time of year than
tree attacks, we'd like to wish
you the best, and leave you with
this holiday thought: Both holly
AND mistletoe are poisonous.
Many students are still
learning from it. Earla Simpson
commented, " I understand it
more now than when. I was a
child. I understand what the
values and principles mean.
Members of the Association of
Black Collegians (ABC) will
hold a Kwanzaa celebration
tomorrow evening at 6 p.m. in
the Wintergarden. All students,
faculty and staff are welcome to
attend.
"Kwanzaa isn't just about
giving presents, but about unity
and sharing with your family."
says Alexis Pratt. "And giving
thanks."
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