Thursday, October 8, 1992 Have you opened a tear lately? by Andrew Festa he Collegian In Walt Whitman's poem, Song Of Myself, there's a line in which a young child comes upon Walt and asks, "What is the grass?" As I see it, Whitman isn't asking us to we desire to see. on which to live. She has focus on the question, or the I love to write poetry, short mothered us for a long time, but grass, or the young child. He stories, and the echoes of my even she, in all her might, is wants us to get beyond the philosophies, not for myself so not able to keep the slap of our question to the real meaning of much as for tomorrow. I take destruction from her face, life. vocal snapshots of today, using People, willing to exert the If you come across a field of the filter of my own opinions effort, could build a list of dead or dying grass, your and interpretations, and pass things with which to start impulse should be to stop and what develops on for the eyes correcting harms done against ask about it but few do. and minds of tomorrow's Earth. If, on the other hand, you readers. We could begin the list and come across a field of growing However, in talks with the run it as a chain letter, around grass, stop for a moment. Look Earth, lam forced to wonder if the world if possible, and keep at the tear drops left over from there will be any people here adding to the list to make things the night before. Touch them tomorrow to read and enjoy right between Earth and her and taste them with your mind, those snapshots. children. Further, the items of don't just notice them. Take the Speaking through leafspeech, the list need to be rigidly time to allow your emotions to she has come to my window at . enforced, not by some -major paint you into the greatest night and kissed my mind with Earth the most economic, social, or political reason for life itself: just being wonder. I see the beauty that’s a-f / ft concern, but be each and every here in the first place. there to enjoy. Earth, using a WOnaerjUl gljt one of Earth's children. Earth, the most wonderful gift cliche, often asks, "Why don't humanity has ever Ask yourselves this: "Could humanity has ever known, cries more people stop and smell the knnwn cries more . 1 live with myself if I allowed more each night. But, like a roses, what few still grow?” * _ ... tomorrow to become a waste field of dying grass, no one Her confusion and pain is each night. But, like a land where 'life' is no longer a passes close enough to notice everywhere. Even her twisted field of dying grass, no thing wherein beauty can exist, the growing pool of tears. We seasons, like people on drugs, J novum rlnvo htrt where preservation of the don't want to notice the dead or don’t know who they are one pusses ttose fittest is the rule? Is that dying. We only notice the anymore. I see and hear her enough to notice the something I could accept giving fingers of green shooting up out anger in thunderstorms. 1 growing pool of tears. to my children?" of the ground -until the green cannot help but notice ibe tears 3OTBssn>nBns3!sssss&&BHßssxßßssss>snE Not everyone will care, but “ On The Almost-Cutting Edge Of Fashion by Dave Barr; Syndicated Columnist Recently I read an alarming fashion article in The New York Times, I should note that I have never been on the cutting edge of fashion. I'm more on the trailing edge of fashion, or even the discarded cardboard box of fashion that the blade of fashion was originally packaged in. For example, it wasn't until this year that I went out in public with my shirt buttoned all the way to the top, and no tie. Before that I always followed the Official 1961 Guy Fashion Code, which said that if you buttoned your top button, you were a fairy, and Joey Maglio and Steve Stromack might stuff you into your locker and leave you there for the duration of the school year. (Granted, they might do this anyway, but it was more likely if your top button was buttoned.) At some point, I think during the Carter administration, fashions dunged and some guys started buttoning their top buttons. But I never had the courage to do this until just recently, when my wife, for my 45th birthday, gave me a very stylish (for me) shirt, which I fades and the fingers point to a blackening sky. Then, we turn toward the remaining green blankets of fingers, still pointing up with what smiles they’ve the strength to show, and forget the sadness of The Gone. We see only what would describe as "green," and, in a bold birthday mood, I wore it to a restaurant buttoned all the way up. Nothing bad happened, although I did sporadically emit wads of high-velocity, semi chewed food as a result of constantly whirling around to see if people were laughing at me. So I'm making some progress toward fashion hipsterhood. Someday I may even wear earrings. Of course this would have to be after my death. And even then. I'd want the casket to be kept closed, in case Joey and Steve came to the funeral. My point is that I am not in the avant-grade (literally,"hot tub") of fashion. That's why I was so alarmed by an article that appeared in the Aug. 3 New York Times under the headline: "Women's Designers Unveil A New Ease For Men." This article concerns top women's fashion designers who are now making clothes for men. At the top of the page is a paragraph of an outfit from Perry Ellis: The model, a broad-shouldered man, is wearing boots, a rugged lumberjack-style plaid shirt and... tights. No pants. No shorts. Just a pair of tight looking tights. The model is frowning. He doesn't look like The Collegian which tumble down the face of the sky and land with a sad thud outside my open window. I can't ignore the mounting pain shouted in every thunder-clap. Earth loves us all, like any caring mother, but she's dying. he's experiencing A New Ease For Men. He looks like a man who realizes that he's walking around in public dressed like a cross between a lumberjack and the late Mary Martin starring as Peter Pan. Dave Barry I bet he’s also worrying about how he's going to work things out in the men's room. Even more alarming is the Her children are killing her. Still, she loves us. Still, she wants to take care of us, but she can't protect us from ourselves. She spent millions of years twisting and turning herself upside down and inside out so we might have a place of beauty look being proposed for men by designer Donna Karan. According to The Times, the program for Ms. Karan's fashion show describes her designs as follows: "Take the sexiness of Indiana Jones. The earnestness of Mr. Smith in Washington. The relaxed glamor of Gary Cooper." The Tmes article has a photograph of a muscular male model wearing a Donna Karan outfit consisting of a jacket, no shirt, and- here comes the New Ease For Men part—a SKIRT. Really. It's a wraparound "sarong” -style skirt, and notes that "It's masculinity is shored up by a garrison belt." It most certainly is. I look at this outfit and the image that leaps into my mind is Gary Cooper, standing on some dusty Wild West main street, facing down a gang of bad guys: COOPER: Bart, I want you and the rest of these varmits to get out of town. GANG MEMBER: Hey! He's wearin' a skirt! Sarong style! OTHER GANG MEM BERS: Let's shoot him! BART: Hold it, boys! That there's a Donna Karan! COOPER (grimly): That's right, Bart And you'll note that its masculinity is shored up by Page 5 for those who call themselves human beings, caring people, and concerned Earth inhabitants worried about the shape of tomorrow, it's not too late, yet. I leave you with a message I recently found when I opened up a tear that had fallen from its ride down the face of the sky onto my window sill: "I am that which you call beauty, painted for your mind, designed to give you life. My existence depends upon the beauty and concern behind your eyes." It was signed, 'Your Loving Mother, Earth.' Considering I've heard it said that millions of messages much like the one I found have been seen around the world in every conceivable language in tears big and small, I’d wager the words are for us all. a □ e Andrew Festa is a senior majoring in English under the Creative Writing Option, and is one of the photographers for The Collegian. His column appears every third week in The Collegian. mam a garrison belt. BART: First we’ll hang him THEN we’ll shoot him. Speaking of varmits, Ms. Karan would also like you men to start covering you heads with designer bandannas, and so would Calvin Klein. The Times printed a photograph of a model wearing one of Calvin's outfits consisting of a head bandanna and an enormous three-piece suit that is spacious enough to easily hold the model and at least one head of cattle. The thing is, right now I can't imagine wearing any of these outfits, but that's exactly how I used to feel about buttoning my top button. I'm wondering if, 25 years from now, I might be stomping crankily around the house, complaining that it's bowling night and I can't find my official team sarong. So I'm thinking that maybe, instead of making fun of these fashion designers, I should respect them for having the vision and courage to point the way to the future for the rest of us. Maybe it's time I wrote something POSITIVE about the fashion industry. And I will. Just as soon as I see a leading mate designer wearing tights.