Page 8
Summer
Susan Kass
The Collegian
Production companies
strategically decide on the release
dates and fight for ticket buyers'
attention more during the
summer season than any other
time. Because more tickets are
bought from Memorial Day to
Labor Day than any other season,
this is their chance to make up
for box office failures.
The production company
Orion has already gone bankrupt
even after releasing popular
movies like Dances With Wolves
and the blockbuster of 1991,
Silence of the Lambs. In fact
many companies are struggling.
Carolco will go bankrupt soon
unless Basic Instinct becomes
popular overseas.
This summer, like the
summer of 1991, is filled with
sequels, adventure and science
fiction. The biggest movies are
typically released in May and
especially on Memorial Day
because die three-day weekend
gives audiences time to visit the
theater. This May the new
releases Lethal Weapon 3, Patriot
Games, Encino Man, and Aliens
3 are expected to be in the top ten
White Sands has lots of teeth but no bite
by Rick Kastan
The Collegian
You know that when your
mind gets seriously sidetracked
during a movie, it really goes to
show the merit of that movie.
Likewise, the true test of a film’s
worthlessness is not simply the
FACT that your mind wandered,
but moreso where it went to.
When I'm watching a flick
and I start thinking about what
I'm going to be doing the next
day, I know that I'm not going to
give it a favorable review.
Similarly, when I'm in the
theater and get way off-the-track
and start thinking about
something like 'Why do men
have nipples?', I know that the
film has got to be trounced (I
don't LIKE thinking about these
things you see). White Sands
must be trounced.
For those of you who haven't
already guessed (and I hadn't), the
title White Sands comes from the
White Sands National
** Summer Work**
$ 8.25 to start
full/part time openings
excellent training provided
achieve valuable resume experience
corporate scholarships available
all majors should apply
must interview now, can begin after finals
call 838-0752 if busy, try again.
Entertainment
grossing films of the summer.
Lethal Weapon 3 is similar
to the second one; it has Gibson,
Glover, Pesci, and bad guys. This
time Riggs has a new partner
who is wasted by the arms
smuggling ex-cop they're
following.
Glover comes to help his
friend even though he only has
two days until retirement. This
This summer, like the summer of 1991,. is filled with
sequels, adventure and science fiction. The biggest movies
are typically released in May and especially on Memorial
Day.
should be an action packed
adventure like the first two, but
who’s to say audiences are going
to get tired of it.
In Patriot Games, Harrison
Ford replaces Alec Baldwin in the
next Tom Clancy novel (the first
was The Hunt For Red October)
about an intelligent CIA man
who has a family and no
involvement with spies. While
vacationing, the family's fun is
stopped by some international
terrorists.
Ford kills one whose violent
Monument, an expanse of
dazzling white gypsum sands
located in south central New
Mexico.
It was often used as a location
for secret governmental nuclear
testing in past decades. Today
the place is a national
monument, but this movie
contends that some terrible and
highly immoral things are still
taking place way out in the
White Sands Desert. And if they
are talking about filmmaking, I
can agree.
The film starts with a suicide
victim's body being found in
some Anasazi Indian ruins deep
out in the New Mexican desert.
The police find this quite
interesting, especially when they
notice " the man had a lalf a
million dollars in his briefcase
when he did himself in.
William Dafoe, once again
playing a man with too many
teeth for a mouth the size of his,
is Deputy Sheriff Ray Dolezal,
our hero and the cop
sizzlers
brother swears revenge by
stalking the family. Co-starring
Anne Archer, who is most
remembered for Fatal Attraction,
this should be an intelligent
action movie.
Encino Man stars Pauly Shore
(from MTV fame) who digs up a
frozen caveman. While Shore
dreams of the archaeological
fame, the caveman wants to party
and party hard. Of course this
will be compared with Wayne's
World and they all hope it makes
as much, if not more, money.
Aliens 3 again finds
Sigourney Weaver as Ripley
fighting the creatures from hell!
But this time she has shaven her
head and the battle ground is
Earth. This is the debut for
director David Fincher who has
previously only worked on music
videos. Considering that Alien
and the sequel, Aliens are terrific
horror films this might be the
investigating the 'suicide'. He
feels that the best way for him to
find out exactly what happened
out there is to become the dead
man (keep his appointments, use
his name, blah, blah, blah). This
doesn't sound very smart in my
book.
Pretty soon old Deputy Ray is
out there planning and plotting
with the bad guys even though he
has no idea what it is exactly that
he is planning and plotting.
Mickey Rourke plays a bad
guy. He has a silver front tooth.
This immediately makes him a
bad guy since it's common
knowledge that anybody with
metal teeth is evil in some way.
Can you say: cliche? Someone
oughta complain.
Ray also meets up with a
sleazy and enigmatic rich chick
named Lane who has sex with
everybody in the film and also
happens to be funding this
mystery project for Rourke and
Dafoe. Lane is played by the
attractive but ultimately miscast
Earn $3,000+/month in Fisheries.
Free Transportation! Room &
Board! Over 8,000 openings. No
experience necessary. Male or Fe
male. For employment Program
call 1-206-545-4155 ext. 1734
HAURY RENTALS
OFF - CAMPUS APARTMENTS
FURNISHED PAID UTILITIES
COIN LAUNDRY CABLE READY
PARKING ON BUSLINE
WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE
previewed
best horror of the summer.
A few other movies that will
be released sometime in May
may not be blockbusters, but
might be worth seeing. Night on
Earth, a film by Jim Jamusch
(Mystery Train) starring Winona
Ryder and Gena Rowlands, might
be a bizarre movie about New
York City but it could be
interesting.
Poison Ivy stars Drew
Barrymore as a seductive
adolescent who falls for her best
friend's father. It's supposed to be
a good movie about someone so
desperate for affection she kills.
The Waterdance stars Eric
Stoltz and Wesley Snipes in a
movie that won the Audience
Award at the 1992 Sundance film
festival.
And Leaving Normal stars
Christine Lathi and Meg Tilly as
two women who are basically
unhappy with their lives. This is
Mary-Elizabeth Maslrantonio
(whose teeth are all fine but
whose name is just too dam long
- go figure).
Pretty soon all hell breaks
loose and it seems everyone starts
to double-cross each other.
Supporting characters come and
go (and occasionally get killed,
too). Along the way we meet
one black Internal Affairs agent
with buck teeth trying to figure
out where Ray is, another black
F. 8.1. man with bloody teeth
telling Ray where to go and a
white coroner played by the once
great M. Emmett Walsh (whose
acting is getting really annoying
in his old age) in dentures telling
Ray to chill out, grab a beer and
watch the Pirates game with him.
Now, all this would be fine
and dandy if it were just
INTERESTING. After about
fifteen minutes of Willem Dafoe
playing Andy Griffith you start
to get itchy for a car chase or
dismemberment or something.
Sadly, this never happens.
* EARN EXTRA INCOME*
Um S2DO-ssDOwtakly
brochure*. Fcr mere infer metier:
stamped ed4reeae4 envelop* *»:
Galaxy TVawtl, Inc .P.O.Bax 1)106
Giver «yrh9»,MD 30111-)ID6
Thursday, April 30, 1992
a road movie that will be
compared to Thelma and Louise,
but the movies are quite different
mainly because in Leaving
Normal the women don't do
anything illegal.
Another movie that has
already been released, but is still
waiting to be distributed around
the country is The Player.
Popular in Hollywood, it is a
movie by Robert Altman that
includes more cameo appearances
by famous people than any other
in history.
Cher, Julia Roberts and Dean
Stockwell are just a few in the
crowd. The story is about a
producer who kills the wrong
screenplay writer and falls in love
with the man's girlfriend. This
movie might be radical and
bizarre, but nobody will say it's
not interesting.
After May, the movie Far and
Away starring Nicole Kidman and
Tom Cruise and directed by Ron
Howard will be released. Also,
the much hyped Batman Returns
which stars Michael Keaton,
Michelle Pfeiffer and Danny
DeVito will hit the screens.
Most of the blame here can be
directed at director Roger
Donaldson who can't keep things
moving. He's absolutely horrible,
not only because he made this
horrible film but also for being
the director of the TilmCocktail
with Tom Cruise (who has nice
teeth - probably braces) which
caused riots in some countries.
The movie's pace is slow and
horribly boring and at times it is
really hard to follow.
One thing that I can say in
favor of the movie is that it's
cinematography is brilliant and
beautiful but, sadly, even
beautiful scenery cannot help
salvage a movie this bad.
In summary, White Sands is
terribly boring, horribly cast,
dreadfully written and urgently in
need of a good dentist.
The trouncing's finished, I feel
much better now
& an* $
ATTENTION ALL
READERS!! I'd just
like to say farewell
and introduce the new
1992-1993
Entertainment Editor,
Craig Campbell. He'll
probably have a tough
time without me for
awhile so please bear
with him.