Ask Lou Lou
Collision's Advice Forum
Lou Lou BallyHoo, PhD, ASP,
MIC, KEY
The
by Dr.
Lou Lou uncovers
the Flashilator
Dear Lou Lou,
I have a serious problem. I have
irresistible desire to tear off my clothes in
public. So far I've been able refrain, but I'm
beginning to weaken. I fear the embarrassing
consequences of such an action, but I don’t
feel can resist much longer. What should I do?
Signed,
The Flashilator
Dear Flashilator,
Go for it! Just let me know where and
when.(Wink, wink.)
Lou Lou
*T'- ■ -TT* - T IT* '
L Ci k • T *±- iii *"tv «!>• -
Dear Editor:
Sincerely,
Jimmy Ray Steven "Buba" Williams, Jr.
Editor-In-Chief
The Little Red-Haired Kid
Features Editor
John Tesh
Assist. Entertainment Editors
The Campbell Soup twins
THE COLLISION STAFF
News Editor
Dave Barry
Entertainment Editor
James Haggendoss
Sports Editor
Mr. PretT. Chick
The typical college student
spends more money for
alcohol than for books 111
OMP, Atoohol hxscMe**, MM**, a Potaniab afAmmlcan CoH*g*s, 1991
Once again, the obvious rears its ugly head.
Letters Policy
Do you have an issue, a
complaint or comment that
you would like to express to
our reading public through a
letter? Would you like to see
that letter printed right here on
this very page?
Then do this: find a quarter
and call someone who cares,
’cause we don’t.
Frankly, we’re very tired of
people who send in letters
blathering about stupid, petty
problems. Most of you can’t
write to begin with, and those
that can don’t have much to
say anyhow. In short, get a
grip. And while you’re at it, get
a life. And maybe a better
underarm deodorant while
you’re at it.
But for those that persist in
sending letters, they may be no
longer than 200 words in
length (yes ’a,’ ’the’ & ’and’
count) and must be signed by
at least two people and Jimmy
Hoffa.
Letters will be edited for
style; content, taste and
whatever else it takes to make
them interesting and
provocative.
Photo Coordinator
Ad layout & Design
Mr. Pfister
Copy Editor Distribution Manager
That Okie chick Joseph Formica
Alcohol vs. Books
■3&0? ■ * •'
•.VAV.V.
- i '
: /•■£ * s
i i! & \ «,
i m j f f-i I)
afterJ.- x
‘Ui.
Dear Editor:
Seeing
dissolved,
that this
increase
force.
Here’s a few suggestions. A motorized
infantry regiment would be perfect for
breaking up underaged drinking parties.
Secondly, a few KGB border guards
would cut down on the number of
parking violations on campus. Lastly, a
Spestnaz detachment would be perfect
for patrolling the Gorge and
discouraging vandalism.
These units would be relatively cheap,
seeing how they have been recently
unemployed. The letter writer would be
able to provide the necessary contacts.
The letter writer denies all accusations of past ties
with the former Soviet Union.
Buy this to run the vast machienery of the state, damnit!
edit o
how
the Soviet
and its army with it, I feel
would be an excellent time to
Behrend’s Police and Safety
Jimmy Bag-o-Doughnuts
Sixth semester
Organized Crime
Tin CoUitiom is produced by t cadre of fine,
outstanding journalists... not! Lovingly
cisfted on the campus of The Pennsylvania
State University st Erie, The Behrend
College; first floor, the Elmer Fuddd
building. The only postal information you
need to know is sumps ere friggin'
expensive.
Union
Postal Informal