Thursday, February 6, 1992
Lambs
by Andrew Festa
How would you like the
right to go out and harass
anyone who didn’t believe
what you believed? What
about the ability to wreak
psychological havoc on the
lives of. those you disagree
with?
Wouldn’t it be a thrill to
travel the country for the sake
of destroying people's lives,
even though such acts go
against the very ideas you
claim to be serving? NOT?
The Lambs of God,’ a
militant religious group of
arui-Choice and Freedom
fundamentalists, is an
organization accomplishing
what lawmakers have been
unable to do: shutting down
abortion clinics.
They say they only use
their words of prayer to turn
women away and to dose
clinics. They claim to love
life, yet bullets riddle a
doctor's office; and children
are put under incredible
psychological pressures, even
if their doctor-parents don't
perform abortions. "This,"
say the Lambs, "is to scare
them into never changing
their minds."
During a "60-Minutcs”
show, Feb. 2, these Lambs
were praying for "either the
salvation" of the doctor, "or
'Buy American'? Yeah, you
by Mike Royko
The general who said that war
is hell wasn't entirely correct.
We're in a war right now, and it
isn't all that terrible. At limes,
it's even fun.
That’s because we're fighting
it with bumper stickers instead of
bullets, bombast instead of
bombs.
I'm talking, of course, about
the great war of words with Japan
and the growing "Buy American"
crusade.
The fighting really broke out
in earnest when some crotchety
old Japanese politician made
sneering remarks about much of
our work force not knowing how
to read or write and being lazy
and greedy.
In other words, he said exactly
what Americans have been saying
about each other for years.
The war escalated when the
people who own Nintendo said
they want to buy the Seattle
baseball franchise to keep it in
that city.
Baseball fans were horrified as
they heard this news on their
Japanese-built TV sets, to which
their Nintendo machines arc
attached.
With Japan-bashing at its
that a calamity might come
upon him." He should be
saved or he should die,
according to the
commentator's words.
The Lambs say they're
only concerned with
preserving life. If this isn't
bullshit, why arc they using
weapons from psychological
torture and intimidation to
attempted murder? One
doctor’s office received five
unwelcome visitors once:
little tiny guys made of lead.
He later installed bullet-proof
glass.
Having been raised in a
Catholic environment, I
distinctly remember one of
the Ten Commandments
heing, "Thou shalt not kill.”
Archaic language not
withstanding, l don't recall it
saying, “Thou shalt not kill
unless thou hast found just
cause and, at such time, thou
mayesi do so in the name of
God."
A woman who uses
abortion as birth control is a
sad example of a woman.
Anyone who would deny a
woman who’s been raped or
molested, or who could die
without an abortion is a sad
example of a human bemg>
A Lamb willing to use a.
gun, or psychological
terrorism, is either a wolf
hiding behind the eonnotativc
highest level since World War 11,
we have American companies
offering bonuses to workers who
buy American cars, gas stations
offering American car owners a
discount, municipalities rejecting
Japanese products, and shoppers
pecking at the back of products to
sec where they’re made.
So how will this war end? My
guess is that it will just lade
away as soon as something
livelier comes along. In fact,
Gov. Bill Clinton's love life may
have already pushed it aside on
the nightly news.
The problem with fighting
this war is that there's little
opportunity for action except for
loud talk, sputtering and table
pounding.
It’s easy enough to "buy
American," as the slogan urges,
if you're going down to the
comer store for a quart of milk or
a box of Twinkies. (I’m not sure
about the Twinkies. I know they
are made here, but I don't know
where the additives come from.)
But if you're buying anything
that you have to plug into a
socket, turn an ignition key or
install batteries, how do you
know?
I own two American cars. But
are they really American
The Collegian
irom
innocence of 'Lamb', or is a
Lamb who has done one too
many hits of Acid. (Sorry,
Lambs, I'll keep with the
limes: ...one too many vials
oi Crack.)
Maybe I haven't spoken to
the right people, but the Pro-
Choice people 1 know arc
against abortion and they
believe it’s wrong. However,
there are cases when a
woman needs an abortion. A
woman should not be told by
others her freedoms are
limited.
On that "60-Minutes”
show, there was a woman
whose doctor told her she
would die without! an
abortion. Bven though her life
depended on an abortion,
(she’s a diabetic and the child
was killing her) she couldn't
products? I have no idea who
made the engine parts, the tape
players, the speakers or any of
ihc many things that rattle and
squeak.
A friend has a Japanese car.
(Hiss, hiss!) But it was pul
together in this country by
American workers with
know, his Japanese car is more
American than my American car.
Maybe you are a golfer
planning on buying a new set of
clubs this spring. But only a
couple of American-owned golf
companies remain. That wedge
might have "Ben Hogan" stamped
on it, but the company is owned
UaII
11611
find a local doctor willing to
perform the operation; they
were ail afraid of being
marked' by the supposedly
docile "wc only pray" Lambs.
Actually, they're telling the
truth, but they can’t spell:
They only Prey!
She finally did receive an
abortion, but not until having
to travel to another state, and
nearly dying. Further, she
had to enter the clinic through
the back door.
The psychopathic/
terroristic 'Lambs of God,'
are a group of people with
nothing better to do than beg
for food, shelter and gas ("to
get to these many places,"
said an ex-LA cop/Lamb
leader). When they arrive, are
content to (I paraphrase the
cop) "get arrested and have
our meals and shelter paid for
by the taxpayers/'
I'd say feed 'em dog food,
but there'd be some pissed
off dogs roaming the streets
looking for some Lambs to
munch on.
The government of the
people, for the people should
create laws which would
protect the people from
violent harassment by
psychopathic morons.
Separation of Church and
State is fine, until the Priests
(sic) of such lunatic fringe
by some sushi-cater.
So if you seek out those
American-owned companies and
buy their clubs, you will be able
to say with pride that you are
buying American, right? Not
really, because all they do here is
assemble shafts and club heads
they buy overseas.
The last night of my vacation,
1 dashed to a hardware store to
buy a wind-up alarm clock so I
could be sure to arise early and
return here to compose drivel.
When I set the clock, I spotted
the words stamped on the back:
’’Made in China." I stared at it. A
commie clock. And for all I
knew, the words had been put
there by someone who once sal
in a foxhole in Korea, hoping for
a chance to shoot me dead. As it
turned out, the clock didn't work.
But a fine American bird
squawked with the dawn and
woke me up. Or maybe it wasn't
an American bird. Could it have
flown here from Cuba? You just
can't tell.
I suspect that much of the
current Japan-bashing is a
reaction to President Bush and
those overpaid car salesmen
going to Japan to ask them to
lake pity on us. Some Americans
found it embarrassing.
Page 5
groups, and their empty
minded followers begin
taking up arms against the
people who are protected by
the State and its Laws.
I wonder how many of
these holier-than-thou fools
are waiting for the day when
abortion is illegal nation-wide
so they can cash in on the
capitalistic, black-market
butcher shop abortion clinics,
The government needs to
get off its donkey and start
serving the people who voted
its members into office (are
you listening SGA?) or the
voters will get even. Hey,
when does Lamb season
open?
A final note; The
commentator and several
doctors said, "while the
number of doctors performing
_ abortions has dwindled
nation-wide* women are still
lining up to receive
abortions."
Women had them illegally
(often killing themselves and
the babies) before Roe y
Wade and they'll have them
again.
Andrew Festa is a tenth
semester English major . His
column Appears every other
week in The Collegian.
try it
On the other hand, when was
the last time anyone barfed on
Japan's prime minister?
In the Japanese culture, I’m
told, it is considered extremely
insulting to barf on someone.
Especially a prime minister. Of
course, it isn't considered proper
behavior here, either, unless you
arc a hockey fan.
So what Bush did may have
been a cunning and calculated
political move. When the
presidential race heats up in the
fall, it wouldn't be at all
surprising to see a commercial
showing the barfing scene, but
with Bush’s voice saying:
"You won't open your
markets to more American
products? OK, this is what I
think of you. Take this! Barf,
barf."
And on the next trip, if there
is one, they ought to bring Dan
Quayle along. He could drool on
the shoes.
Mike Royko is a Chicago
based, nationally syndicated
columnist. His column appears
weekly in The Collegian.