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Ask Louanne
The Collegian's Advice Column
by Dr. Louanne Barton
Personal Counselor
FR EE HELP
Self-esteem: The
foundation of
what we do or
don't do
Dear Louanne,
I am a sophomore, and the past year at Behrend has
been rewarding. Classes have been okay, and I have made
the best friends of my life. But recently, I have had a
problem that changes all this. Its my self-esteem. I don't
believe in myself, or anything I do. I feel I shouldn't be in
college. I don't do any work because I think it isn't right
anyway. And sometimes, I just hate myself. There
doesn't seem to be any way to change this. It has made
my friendships worse too. I don't know what to do.
Maybe I am exaggerating this. But I do know that I feel
really bad.
Dear Worthwhile Person,
Thanks for your letter. You have really hit at
the core of emotional wellness. I feel that self
esteem is the foundation of everything we do or
don't do. Low self-esteem is actually a process
of judging and rejecting ourselves, and that can
result in enormous pain. This is a classic
chicken-egg question. Self-esteem grows out of
our life circumstances, but circumstances are
strongly influenced by our self-esteem. Low
self-esteem results in taking fewer social,
academic, and career risks. The result is less
success in relationships, in school, and on the
job which only reinforces feelings of low self
esteem.
We do have the power to change the way we
perceive ourselves. The basis for self-esteem
begins in early childhood and is strongly
influenced by our parents' style of child
rearing. If our early experiences were negative
we may have been programmed with negative
judgmental tapes which we continue to replay in
our minds as adults. We can rewrite those
distorted scripts. First we need to identify the
critic, develop a rebuttal, and carry on an inner
dialogue. In other words it's healthy to "Talk to
Yourself". It isn't easy. It takes hard work and
persistence. I have a good book I can loan you
if you'd like to learn more: Self Esteem by
McKay and Fanning.
Send your letters to:
Louanne Barton, Counseling Center
Reed Bld .
Signed,
Worthless
Louanne
The Collegian
AT THIS POINT,.
YOUR ALMA MATER DOESN'T MATTER.
Thursday, September 12, 1991