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Ask Louanne
by Dr. Louanne Barton
Personnal Couselor
DID GOMEBODY
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Louanne has advice for
jealous women (and men)
Dear Louanne,
The basic problem is-I get insanely
jealous when my boyfriend simply pays
attention to another woman. We've been
together less than three months. I do not
trust him, but I can't help being so
jealous. I'm a little afraid that someone
will steal him away, but I know he loves
me very much. My last two boyfriends
were respectable and moralistic, but
turned out to be unfaithful and
untrustworthy. Sometimes when I see
him hugging or chatting with a lady
friend (strictly platonic), I wonder if he
secretly is attracted to her. I lay in bed at
night driving myself crazy-is there
someone else? Am I really the only one?
He loves me, but does he secretly hold a
torch toward another woman?
Signed,
In love and in jealous doubt
Dear Jealous Love,
You can give yourself credit for
recognizing it's your problem.
Lots of people who feel like you
devote their energy trying to
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change the other person or, like
Peter, try to put him/her in a
"pumpkin shell". (Men get
jealous, too.)
Jealousy comes from lack of
confidence or low self-esteem.
Instead of focusing on your
boyfriend, try developing your
self into an interesting multi
faceted person. Be sure you
devote time to developing your
friendships with others. Look for
and develop other interests instead
of spending all you time being
with or thinking about your
boyfriend. That way you will feel
better about yourself, and your
boyfriend will find you more
fascinating and stimulating. With
a broader base to work from you
won't be so dependent on your
boyfriend. When relationships
break up you won't feel so
devastated because there will be
other sources of support in your
life.
You'll be somebody with or
without him.
I iri V' iiim. .
I ID
Louanne