Thursday, December 6, 1990
A final note
by Quinn Solem
During the past semester I
have written this column for The
Collegian, using it as a public
forum to air some of my views
about the world as I see it. I have
said some truly ugly things; I
called Behrend students slugs,
George Bush a liar, inferred that
most politicians are swine of the
lowest order, stated that all
journalists are depraved, made fun
of the president's wife, dumped
on the arms industry...
In other words I had a pretty
good time.
Not many people in this
world get a chance to vent their
twisted, anti-social sentiments in
print without being physically
restrained, or at least censored by
narrow minded Fascists who view
the First Amendment as a sinister
loop hole for communists,
liberals, flag burners, atheists,
gay activists, drug addicts, or
anti-American anarchists seeking
to destroy "Our Way of Life."
None of the ideas I have
written as columns for this paper
has ever been altered by the
editor, Todd J. Irwin, or the
faculty advisor, Dr. Simmons. I
was never called into the Dean's
office and threatened with
Swan
by Rob Prindle
I'm accustomed to a smooth
ride / or maybe I'm a dog who's
lost its bite. I don't expect to be
treated like a fool no more. I
don't expect to sleep through the
night. Some people say a lie's a
lie's a lie / But I say shy I Why
deny the obvious child?
-Paul Simon
"The Obvious Child" From
"Rhythm of the Saints"
So I've been asking everyone I
know. I've been asking what
advice I should give in the last
column of my college career. I
asked my friends, "What's the
best advice I've given you?" I got
some interesting answers.
One friend said "tell people
that once they graduate from
college they should stay away.
Tell them not to come back and
visit like those people did after
high school. Those dinks just
look like they don't have
anything better to do."
Another said "Get rid of the
damn DOS shell that comes with
DOS 4.x. It sucks."
Still another said "Tell people
that just thinking that something
is important isn't enough. Tell
people that they have to get out
and take a stand for what they
believe."
One professor suggested I
remind students that they are a
major part of the problem when
it comes to lifeless classes and
lifeless teachers. Teachers can
only teach what the mass of
dismissal for "politically
incorrect" thinking. No angry
mobs chased me through the
Reed building with torches and
pitchforks screaming "Kill the
beast!"
For good or evil, I was
allowed to say what I wanted to
say. This is not the case at many
college newspapers, which are
carefully reviewed by the
administration's faculty advisor
prior to publication. Articles that
might subvert students, offend
parents, or damage the image of
the school never get printed. I
have personally seen this happen,
and if you think I am
exaggerating, pick up a paper
from one of the local colleges and
try to
_find an article that opposes
the administration's position on
any topic.
Withholding opinion and
information is the most vile form
of censorship where ever you are,
but especially in a democracy like
ours, where a well informed
public is essential for good
decision making. The Collegian
does not withhold anything, and
my ravings during the past
semester bear grim testament to
that fact.
This will be my last column
for The Collegian, unless Todd J.
Song from an old timer
students wants to learn. And if
the mass wants to blindly take
notes for 45 minutes a day then
regurgitate them into little fill in
the dots on answer sheets so they
believe they've learned
something, then that's what they
get.
ALL OF THAT IS GOOD
ADVICE. I believe in all of IL
But none of it clicked with me, if
you know what I mean. So I
asked myself the same question
I'd asked my friends. "What's the
best advice I'd ever gotten?" The
answer came fast and clear.
Four years ago, on December
7, syndicated columnist Sydney
Harris died. I should say that I
never really liked the guy's
columns, They were usually full
of the ultra spiritual-be good to
your family-don't swear in
church-don't kick cats just
because they are different than
you and me type of goody-goody
rambling. That stuff always
depresses me.
But I read it faithfully each
day for the same reason I read
George Will or Dear Abbey or
any opinion column I can get my
hands on. Because no matter how
knee-jerk-jerky it is, you never
know where you're going to hear
something you've never thought
of before.
When the local newspaper
started running essays from
Harris' last book in place of his
column, I read one that I hope I
will never forget. It was titled
"Ambiguity."
The Collegian
from the rookie
Irwin wants to start paying me
for my labor (and we can make a
deal Todd, if the money is right).
I am being sent away from this
place with a pat on the head and a
diploma in hand, to seek my
fortune and fame in the wide
spaces of the world. Graduation
presents and gifts of money or
jewels can be sent to me CIO
The Collegian, Behrend College.
And I'd like to thank everyone for
the thousands of cards and letters
I've already received...
But forget the tearful parting
for now. In January I will be
gone from the noble pages of this
paper forever. So will Rob
Prindle, the life long defender of
"Erieism," (a militant religious
sect), and the other columnist for
The Collegian.
This leaves a big hole in the
paper for Todd when the next
semester begins. If he doesn't get
some people into his office who
are willing to write inflammatory
columns for the paper, he'll have
to go out on another "recruiting
mission," which is a frightening
thought.
I was the last victim of Todd's
unorthodox "recruiting" methods,
and the mere mention of that
horrible ordeal still causes me to
Harris wrote that a college
student once asked him what the
most important lesson he'd
learned was. The columnist
replied, "How to accept
ambiguity and live with it." He
continued, "What I meant was
learning how not to be frozen
into one attitude toward events
that happen in the world, to
myself or to others.... We can do
much, but not all; the task is to
do as much as we can and to
accept what comes after that."
I was a freshman then and that
advice couldn't have come at a
better time. The thought that a I
could keep and lobby hard for my
own convictions and still be able
to keep the necessary distance
from them to be able to see them
for what they are: Just ideas that
are subject to constant
evaluation.
I realize it is not good to be
so open minded that just
anything can crawl in, in fact, I
believe that a person should fight
hard to defend his or her beliefs.
But that person must not ignore
logic when defending beliefs. In
other words: fight as hard as you
can for what you believe, but
don't lie to yourself to do it.
Harris made me understand
that there is more than just my
side to every issue. So, I do as
much as I can and then accept
what comes after that. Getting
people to change their minds isn't
as important as pushing an idea
which has been festering in the
dark out into the light of debate.
You get a chance to do stuff
cringe in horror. He had been
calling me on the phone about 15
times a day for weeks, demanding
hard copy and delivering savage
threats. I started screening my
calls with my phone machine,
and took to wearing disguises. It
was terrible.
Eventually he showed up at
my house. It was around 3:00
a.m. early one Sunday morning.
He was dressed in military
fatigues, and I could tell by the
smell of his breath that he'd been
drinking industrial cleaniiig ,
solvents again.
"I've come for the article," he
snarled, "and it had better be
double-spaced, with all the names
spelled correctly and verified."
I just need a few more days to
get it together, Todd. Honest, I'll
have it in by Wednesday
morning.
"I've had enough of your
stalling," he hissed, pulling a
razor sharp steel lay -out ruler
from his combat boot.
No! Anything but that. What
do you want me to do?
"Something controversial," he
said, his eyes narrowing into
slits. "Why not insult the student
body?"
But I like the students at
like that in college. You get a
chance to try on any opinion to
see if it fits. You get to stay up
all night talking about the
meaning of life, or the meaning
of vector analysis, or the
meaning of vanilla ice cream for
that matter. What ever you feel is
important. I'm not so sure you
get those same opportunities in
the world that exists away from
college. I'm not sure you don't
just get too busy with pay raises
and mortgages and marital bliss.
So, the choice is yours:
STUDENTS: you can either
sit in class and allow yourself to
think that learning is
memorization and that life can be
broken down into Roman
numeral outlines, or you can use
this time to figure out how you
will contribute to the world. You
can get through college as
efficiently and quickly as
possible, or you can fight a little
bit to see if there is anything to
be gotten behind the text book
facade.
PROFESSORS: you can
either go on teaching the same
way you have been since you
were a T.A. , or you can take the
time to keep learning yourself.
You can keep telling yourself
"kids just don't want to learn so
why should I bother," or you can
take classes on things you don't
know, just so you can remember
what it's like to be on the other
side of the desk.
Page
"Then what about President
Bush? Or better yet his wife," he
shouted, his face contorting
horribly.
They're so kind and gentle. I
couldn't
"You'll do what you're told,"
he screeched, menacing me with
the ruler and rolling his
unfocused, bloodshot eyes.
0.K., O.K. Just give me a
moment to think.
"Never mind that, just take a
few gulps of this," he snapped,
pulling a quart bottle of cleaning
fluid from his hip pocket...
The rest is history. I wound
up writing all kinds of demented
gibberish under the influence of
powerful industrial chemicals,
but I managed to avoid being
mutilated beyond recognition by
a hard nosed editor with no
tolerance for delay.
So as of this printing my job
is up for grabs. So is Rob's.
If you are interested in
becoming a writer for The
Collegian, why not drop on by
the office and have a long talk
with good ole' Todd.
Take it from me, it's a lot
better then having him come
looking for you.
ADMINISTRATION: you can
keep pretending the construction
is the golden path that leads to a
quality university, or you can
concentrate on the people and the
product of education. You can
keep pushing good teachers to do
research and good researchers to
teach, or you can allow people to
'do what they are good at so
students aren't hurt by lousy
teachers or by good teachers who
don't have the time to teach. You
can keep trying to prove that the
school is perfect, or you start
making it better.
I truly do not know which
combination of those many
diverging paths leads to the best
place, but I know which ones I
have and would take. The point is
simply to put enough energy into
testing your own values.
There are so many good
things about this campus. I've
met so many good people, had
so many fine classes, spent so
many long nights talking about
so many wonderful things. But
good things take care of
themselves. The things that don't
work are the things that need the
energy. And this school and this
world need a lot of repairmen.
So, thanks for everything and
I'll see you in a few years when
the administration begs me to
come back to be part of the
speaker series titled "YEAH,
RIGHT"
Love,
Rob