Page 6
Mark examines the
effects of sampling,
spandex and ice
cream
by Mark Owens
"Blblah wablah blah blah."
Um, no Todd, just because
my writing has been weak the
past couple of issues doesn't
mean you can accuse me of being
a crack smoker, let alone free
basing Tenactin foot powder.
"Blah blah blah, wubba
wubba doink."
Yes, I do have my head
screwed on straight and no, my
mother doesn't dress me funny. I
just take my clothes from your
closet.
"Blah blaaahhh, unk snort!"
Hey, put that X-acto down or exclusive interview with the
I'll tell people you've been dreadlocked duo. It went
borrowing Frederick's Shawn something like this:
Cassidy records for mood music Me: What exactly did you
while Jello wrestl-- guys do on the album?
Oh hi! I was just having a Rob: Ummmmm... Fab?
mature conversation with my Fab: We, ahh... posed nice.
editor. We're two grown-up, Me: Can you guys sing?
responsible people who enjoy Fab: Damn straight. Check
intellectually-stimulating
this out!
conversations -- when we're not ( A sound, comparable to that
eating PlayDo, that is. of a large cat being dropped into a
Anyway, I was fortunate
garbage disposal operating at
enough last week to attend the -
Need to release some of that
End-of-the Semester Anxiety?
ROTC
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Student
Activities
very press conference where it
was revealed that Milli Vanilli
(the "lost" 32nd Baskin-Robins
flavor) did not sing a single note
on their album, Girl you know
it's fake - I mean true. The two
were very calm during the
question-and-answer period, only
lashing out at reporters with their
hair occasionally when a question
got too personal -- such as, "Do
you two have any talent at all?"
or "Rumor has it you've been
turned down to sing laxative
commercials. Is this true?"
Even better, after the news
conference I was able to get an
!! Come Throw Some Food !!
Pie Throw
Tuesday December 4th
in the Wintergarden
.500 per throw/ 3 throws for $l.OO
Benefits Cooley's Anemia Foundation
The Collegian
high RPWs, filled the room. The
reporter in question passed out
from excessive noise pollution.)
While Milli Vanilli is an
example of blatant record label
greed, there have been other
alarming trends in the music
A(Di2
Pieces
business, such as sampling.
Many groups use bits and
pieces of other musicians work to
augment their own material.
While this isn't necessarily bad
(the Art of Noise does this, and
does it well), some artists have
taken it to an extreme.
M.C. Hammer, noted for his
wild dance moves, Elton John
esque glasses and bigger-than
your-car pants (you know those
tarps they use to cover
motorcycles? 'Nuff said), has
sampled so many things for his
album you'd think he was at a
smorgasbord or something. So
far, industry experts believe he's
sampled work from Prince,
Falco, Led Zepplin, the Pope, the
Mormon Tabernacle Choir and
Billy Bob Dupree's 12-piece
Armpit Orchestra.
I guess my biggest problem
with sampling-from-hell is that
it's difficult to find the original
work. But don't get me wrong.
Sampling isn't all that bad. If the
industry allows it to continue and
grow, eventually I'll be able to
use it as an excuse:
Thursday, November 29, 1990
The
Missing
P
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0 0 /11 /h e
Po ter Cana
P. C er.
e e nt er of
izr th e at
°k' the
Professor: Mr. Owens, I
believe you've done a bit of
plagiarizing on this term paper.
Me: Ummm... Plagiarizing?
I didn't plagiarize. I visually
sampled a lot, that's all.
Professor: Oh, well in that
case...
Another dangerous element in
music is the excessive use of
spandex.
Frankly, it's a dangerous and
addictive substance for musicians.
Recently a singer from a
prominent glam metal band
confessed that "When I'm on
stage, I feel strong and virile. I
can't feel a damn thing from the
waist down, but I feel virile."
In fact, there are rumors that
the Surgeon General may issue a
warning to be sewn into all
future garments:
Warning: This garment may
cause back problems, knee
problems and the development of
buck teeth. It may also cause you
to look like an ugly sausage and
suffer severe public humiliation,
but hey -- what do we care?
SQ 4
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