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New film Graveyard
Shift just plain sucks
Robb Frederick
The Collegian
Something is seriously wrong
in America.
When millions of moviegoers
flock to a film like Graveyard
Shift and edge the film past its
competition for a weekend gross
of $5.1 million, I start to worry.
The film's producers had better
enjoy the top spot while they
can, because word of mouth, the
cinema world's most effective
form of persuasion, is going to
send this hack-job to an early
grave.
Taken from Stephen King's
short story of the same name,
Graveyard Shift proves yet again
that the master of horror just
can't make the transition to the
screen.
The idea for this movie
doesn't even make sense on
paper. Sure, the short story was
good, but it is virtually
impossible to stretch a fifteen
page story into a feature length
film.
Graveyard Shift has all the
elements of the typical "B" horror
movie: rats, a spooky cemetery, a
dark, dangerous factory, rats, a
corrupt boss that bribes
inspectors and sexually harasses
female workers, hard-ass local
hicks, big rats, a vengeful ex
lover, a slingshot-wielding drifter
hero with a college degree and a
checkered past, rats on sandwich
bread, a psychotic militant
exterminator, ugly leading ladies,
skeletons, lots of swimming rats,
women who trip every time they
run, a faithful dog that drinks Jim
Beam, a chewed off arm, rat guts,
human guts, close-ups of big,
bloody rats, and a climactic slow
motion showdown with a huge
mutated bat-rat-scorpion monster.
The film starts off in the
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basement of a dilapidated textile
mill as an isolated worker is
introduced to the bat-rat-scorpion
monster that lurks below the
basement's basement. The
worker's death, compounded by
the multiple killings that follow,
inspires the evil plant manager to
clean the basement.
While sifting through the rat
infested rubble, the clean-up
crew, led heroically by the quiet
drifter Hall, discovers a trap door
that leads to yet another
basement.
The group members descend
into the blackness, and they are
soon racing through mineshafts,
with the übiquitous bat-rat
scorpion monster in pursuit.
The chase continues through
the mineshaft and into the
monster•'s cavernous lair. From
the lair, which is larger that
Carnegie Hall and littered with
skeletons, our brave hero fights
for the freedom to return to his
machine at the factory.
The heroic Hall escapes to
the factory, armed with a
slingshot and a can of Diet Pepsi,
and faces the dreaded bat-rat
scorpion monster.
Sound stupid? Well, it should.
Graveyard Shill sucks, anyway
you look at it.
The film's feeble plot makes
no sense. Throughout the course
of the movie, viewers find
themselves wondering why this
textile factory was built with
three basements on top of a mine
that is somehow connected to a
graveyard, why anyone would
actually work in the mill, how
the hero expects to protect
himself with a slingshot, what
the rat-bat-scorpion is and why it
is killing textile mill workers,
and why they spent $5.25 to see
this sample of cinema trash.
The Collegian
Extreme proves that
less can be more
b Gre : Geibel
The Collegian
Lately, it seems like the
music industry has been spitting
out heavy metal/hard rock bands
faster than an Yngwie Malmsteen
lick. They all have the
necessary requirements: big hair,
good looks, a really really fast
guitar player, and we 11...
sometimes even some talent.
But, every once in a while,
amidst all of the glamour,
hairspray, and mindless lyrics, a
good band will come along, a
good one.
Extreme's self titled debut
album had the early Van Halen
"grunge" type of sound, and the
songs were pretty much
straightforward rock and roll
tunes.
With their second album
entitled Pornograffitti, Extreme
follows up their debut with a
more intelligent, conscious
approach. Pornograffitti is a
Matchbox Players open Day Room
b Flo d J. Csir
The Collegian
Life isn't what it seems when,
the latest production of the
Matchbox Players, The Day
Room, opens next Tuesday, at 8
p.m.
The production will run Nov.
6 through 10 and Nov. 13
through 17 at 8 p.m. with 2 p.m.
Sunday matinees Nov. 11 and 18.
"The audience will be
wondering if they can trust what
they see," said Cray L. Greggs,
an actor and set/costume designer
of Room.
Director Steve Buckwald
describes the plot: "It's about
what happens when the lunatics
10:30 p.m.
8:00 p.m.
12:00 a.m.
• 8:00 p.m.
1•06 •
,ceto
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
look at sex, lust, and how society
is manipulated by advertising.
Although Pornograffitti
should not be compared to any of
the larger rock operas like Pink
Floyd's The Wall or The Who's
Tommy, it does have a thematic
element to it and a central
character that is followed
throughout the album.
Powered by Nuno
Bettencourt on guitars and
keyboards, Gary Cherone on
vocals, Pat Badger on bass, and
Paul Geary on drums, Extreme
expresses more musical
versatility and sheer energy than
has been shown by any rock and
roll band in a long time.
Bettencourt's biting funky
metal style of guitar playing
drives songs like "It ('s a
Monster)", "Get The Funk Out,"
and "He-Man Woman Hater."
As quickly as they can put a
song right in your face, Extreme
can stop you dead in your tracks
with a love song like "More
take over the asylum, with
elements of pathos and comedy."
"There are plenty of twists and
turns in the plot to keep the
action lively," said Buckwald.
"This play asks 'What - is
sanity and what is normal?'," said
Greggs.
First time actor Hans Masing
likes Room because "whether or
not the audience likes the play,
they will definitely talk about it
on the way home."
Masing also praises the
backstage crew for their hard
work. "Without the timing for
the lights and sound, the audience
would not understand the mood
we are trying to establish."
"ft's not as easy to do a play
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Than Words" and a big band
Frank Sinatra-ish "When I First
Kissed You" faster than you can
say "Wha?"
Produced by Michael
Wagener, who was responsible
for Skid Row's debut, White
Lion's Big Game, and about 69
other records, Pornogrcifitti has a
rawness to it that allows for all
of the instruments to be heard, all
at the same time.
Extreme has a refreshing
quality about them that will
enable them to be in the
spotlight for a long time. Their
ideas are fresh, their playing
styles unique, and their strong
attitudes enable them to write the
kind of music that they want to
write.
Most rock and roll bands
today have the attitude that "faster
is better." When necessary,
Nuno will show you what fast is,
but it is really great to see a band
like Extreme that has the attitude
that "less...is more."
as some people would think,"
said T.J. Stackhouse, who
portrays Nurse Baker.
"Numerous cast and crew
members have worked long hours
for the past six weeks to put this
production together," said
Greggs.
"We try to come as close to a
professional production as
possible, from the technical side
(lights, sound and costumes) to
the acting performanc,es,"said
Buckwakl.
Tickets for "The Day Room"
are $3.50 for Penn State-Behrend
students and $6 for the general
public. For reservations, call
898-6016 or 89V1-6331.