The Collegian Wednesday, March 21,1990
Opinion
Royko explained
A few times in the last few
weeks people have poked their
heads in The Collegian’s door to
say: "Hey, I really like that new
Royko guy. Is he a professor here
or something?”
No, he is not a prof, but he is
a staff member. Well, kind of.
Mike Royko is a syndicated
columnist from Chicago and he
is also the best newspaper
columnist in America according
to The last three years of the
Washington Journalism Review
Readers' poll. He is also the best
columnist according to the
Editorial staff of The Collegian
and that's why we run him.
We also feel that most
Behrend students no longer
subscribe to large daily papers
and perhaps do not have access to
prominent opinions on national
issues.
Letter to the
Response
George's
Dear Editor:
Chris Spanos, who seems to
be a serious student and a good
writer, would benefit greatly from
studying the masterly rhetoric --
especially of style and argument
of Professor George's letter in
the last issue of The Collegian.
1 am not talking about the
issues, as nearly all agree that
students would benefit from a
broader and more rigorous liberal
education. Certainly, Ms. Spanos
does. The only disagreement
seems to lie in the methods for
achieving it.
George's letter is beautifully
calculated to cut off opinion
dissenting from the establishment
view, even as she calls,
ostensibly, for more debate on
the battlefield of ideas that is
supposed to be a university.
Here's how.
The style has all the
The Collegian
Published weekly by the students of Behrend College, Erie, Pa
(814) 898-6488
Member of College Press Service
Editor—Todd J. Irwin
Op/Ed Page Editor—Rob Prtndle
News Editor—Tony Olivito
News Editor-Mark Owens
Entertainment Editor._.Robb Frederick
Sports Editor John Musser
Layout Editor—Chris Kocott
Photo Coordinator—Rick Brooks
Business Manager—Christie Redmond
The Collegian is a student-edited newspaper
Royko is an odd man with a
rich history. He is tough,
cynical, and always knowledge
able in his observations about
people.
Royko is not afraid to write
about any issue of importance
from Abortion, to Eastern Europe
to bad driving in Chicago. Royko
points out the small points of
universal events and the universal
points in everyday events.
Along with his many awards
and achievements, Royko is a
Pulitzer Prise winner. He served
in the Korean War, has been a
reporter/columnist since that time
and has written five books.
We hope that you enjoy the
column and we invite your
response to Royko and his views.
Rob Prindle - Op/Ed Editor
Editor
to Dr.
Response
condescending sweetness of a
candybar laced with arsenic and
presented smilingly to a toddler
on Halloween. Even toddlers,
once poisoned, will not visit that
house again.
The argument must be viewed
with a similar skepticism, for its
method is precisely that of the
brilliant attorney who gains
acquittal for the client, a rapist,
by persuading the jury and the
victim that, by objecting to a
violation of her rights, the victim
actually encouraged it. The
victim, unless she is very brave,
will be silent next time.
With fans like Professor
George, Ms. Spanos should be
wary lest the spirit of free inquiry
move her yet again.
Advisor.... Dr. Mike Simmons
-Chester L. Wolford
Associate Professor of
Business and English
Mike Royko
Why be
Think of
by Mike Royko
The letter began with a question: "Do you
recall an event from your childhood that first
inspired you to write?"
The question was posed by a worthy
organization called Child's Play Touring Theater.
It's a professional theater company promoting
writing literacy among children.
To raise funds, they're asking writers: "Will
you please take a few minutes to help the cause
of literacy by sharing your own memory with
us?" They plan to hold an auction and sell the
writers' responses.
I'd like to help their cause. But I have a
conflict
On my wall there is a quotation from Samuel
Johnson that I try to live by. It says: "No man
but a blockhead ever wrote except for money."
So if I write something free for this cause, I
will be a blockhead.
On the other hand, I'd like to help them out.
The solution is to answer their question in my
column. That way, they will have their answer,
and I'll be paid.
To answer their question: Yes, I recall several
events in my childhood and young manhood that
inspired me to become a writer.
When I was a child, my father was a
milkman. Most of his customers lived in three
flats, so he would grab a couple of metal trays,
load them with bottles, and run up the back
steps. During the summer, when school was out,
I went along as his helper. Because I was only 7,
he had me handle light first-floor deliveries.
Watching my father dashing up those steps at
S a.m., sweat pouring down his face, I learned
two things: 1. Being a milkman was hard work.
2.1 didn't want to be a milkman.
A few years later, when I was about 12, I
became my grandfather's helper. He was an
independent house painter.
So I spent another vacation going with my
grandfather on jobs, helping him with the
dropcloths, ladders, putting on masking tape and
doing some painting myself.
This was before the days of rollers and paint
that could be washed off brushers with water.
Painters prized their brushes like the fine tools
they were. They had to be thoroughly cleaned
with chemicals.
Working with my grandfather, I learned
several things. Painting walls wasn't bad,
although it could be tedious. Doing woodwork
and floors was murder on the knees. Ceilings got
paint in your face and a crick in your neck.
I also discovered that painters drank a lot. My
grandfather and his cronies said that was because
fumes from the paint were hazardous but shots
and beers were an effective antidote. However,
one day my grandfather had too much antidote
and fell off a scaffold and broke his leg. So I
decided that 1 didn't want to be a house painter.
Besides, I was a sly scamp and knew that you
didn't have to paint ceilings to drink antidotes.
After that, I had other jobs setting bowling
pins, working on a landscaping crew, in a greasy
machine shop, a lamp factory and pushing carts
around a department store. I learned one thing
from these jobs. They made my flat feet hurt.
So I decided that if I was going to find my
life's work, it would have to be something that
wouldn't make me run up and down steps, get
paint in my face, or give me aching feet.
Then, while still a young man, I read a
magazine article about Ernest Hemingway, the
a writer?
your feet
Mike Royko
great novelist It described his typical workday.
He would arise, have a bit of breakfast and
write until about noon. Then he and a pal or two
would get in his cabin cruiser and spend the rest
of the afternoon sipping tall cool ones and
Ashing.
Except on days when he didn't feel like
fishing. He would write until noon and go sit at
an outdoor cafe with his pals and sip tall cool
ones.
This impressed me as a sensible way to earn a
living, and that was when I began thinking about
becoming a writer.
But I almost changed my mind. I later saw
another article about Hemingway, and there was a
picture of him in the act of writing. His
typewriter was on the mantel and he typed while
standing. According to the article, he always
stood while he wrote.
While that wasn't as grueling as running up
three flights with six quarts of milk and two
pounds of butter, I knew that standing over a
typewriter all morning wouldn't do my fallen
arches any good.
So I gave up thoughts of becoming a writer
and set a new career goal. I would become a disc
jockey. I knew that they sat while jockeying
their discs. And one of my teachers told me I had
a natural gift for that sort of work. Actually, she
.didn't say I should become a disc jockey. But she
mentioned that I often babbled like an idiot, so it
amounted to the same thing.
Fortunately, I read still another article about
Hemingway. And that one said that he wrote
while standing only because he had hemorrhoids
and they hurt more when he sat.
That clinched it, and I set out to become a
writer. And while I haven't achieved
Hemingway's success, the job has never given
me aching feet.
On the other hand, I can modestly say that
I've been compared with Hemingway. Well, sort
of. Readers sometimes tell me that I'm a real
pain in the whatchamacallit.
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