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Mark looks at the 80's:
the decade from Mars
by Mark Owens
This week's Missing Pieces is
going to be one of those
"remember the 80's" things, since
by the time I get around to
writing another column, the 90's,
will be here and most people will
look back on this most eventful
decade and say "huh?" Here are
some of the serious, silly, and
strange things that happened over
the last decade, most of which
I'm sure we'll be glad to forget.
- Jim and Tammy Faye
Bakker and Jimmy
Swaggart: This was the decade
of the corrupt televangelist.
Never before have so many good,
bad, ugly, and perverted ("Dearly
Beloved, I have sinned - with my
lawn tractor) made so much
money by saying God neededit
and you should send them some.
I always figured if God really
needed money, he.could always
arrange a loan or something on
His own. His Credit rating can't
be that bad.
Congress: Our nation's
leaders managed to accomplish
just bunches of things this
decade. In 1987 they tried to give
themselves a large pay raise. The
attempt failed after a large
.number of people earning
minimum wage showed up- on
the Capitol steps with large blunt
objects and suggested $89,000 a
Letter to the Editor
Pregnancy Aid Center objects to characterization hi.
Agency says they offer an alternative to an abortion
Dear editor,
In her column, of November
1, 1989, Dr. Barton after
claiming she "must remain
objective" proceeded to discredit
the Pregnancy Aid Center.
Barton's comments were indeed
devoid of any objectivity, as she
had never visited the PAC,
spoken with any staff members
or investigated any concerns she
may have had personally about
the PAC. She made a hasty and
condemning judgement,
something she also warns others
against in her column. The staff
of the Pregnancy Aid Center
appreciates the opportunity to
give the factual and accurate
information to the students and
faculty about our services. We
hope any concerns or damage
done by Barton's column will be
rectified.
We wish to explain what the
PAC does, and , what it does not
do. We make no apologies for
our services or policies as they
fill a very real need for the
woman in crisis. First, the PAC
is not an abortion referral source.
It is not a political action
organization. The PAC is a
year wasn't a bad thing and they
should be happy with it.
Congress also managed to hide
the savings and loan disaster with
the following standardized ploy:
- You: Congressman Dinkle,
what's the deal with savings and
-loan thing?
Congressman Dinkle: What
S&L thing?
You: . That S&L thing where
every man, woman and child has
to pay around, say, 500 bucks to
cover the 100 billion dollar debt?
Congressman Dinkle:
Ah... Look! It's an American_ flag
on fire! Ack!
Hollywood Smut:
Sitcoms were the rage of the
decade, with the Cosby Show,
Family Ties and Cheers slugging
it out for our attention. Roseanne
was pretty big herself, so to
speak.
_Fitness: The fitness craze
sikept, the eighties, with aerobics,
jogging, cross training, cycling,
and water buffalo lifting being
the hottest exercises. People
started-wearing athletic wear one
molecule. 'thick; I mean, never
before have so many people
willingly strolled around looking
like psychedelic Bob Evans
vificages.
Health nuts feasted on oat
bran, Nutrasweet and fiber in
general. In other words, we're
talking about gerbil food.
privately funded, non
denominational Christian service
organization. Our first aim is to
provide loving, concerned
outreach to the woman in a crisis
pregnancy situation. A "Crisis
Pregnancy" is: "any pregnancy
that causes a woman distress or
anxiety, regardless of the reason
or circumstances." We maintain
that not all women wish to abort
and if assisted in the decision
making process, or given other
options, will not abort. We
believe that a woman may abort
because she feels she has no other
choice, and often regrets the
decision, a decision that cannot
be reversed. We also recognize
that some women do choose to
abort. If this is the client's
decision the PAC does not
condemn, but offers the same
personal care and concern to that
individual. We provide
counseling and support. If a
decision to abort camas trauma to
the client, we remain available to
her. Many women have found
that the PAC is one of the few
services available to discuss their
post-abortion trauma.
What services does the PAC
Doctors, scientists and the
makers of the Abdominizer (a
cafeteria tray with handles
designed to do sit-ups for you)
have pondered for years how
people get fat. Now, at the close
of the decade I think it's time we
got the true reason for weight
gain and loss. This is where I
come in.
actually provide? The PAC
provides: pregnancy tests,
counseling through the crisis, on
decision making, adoption, caring
for a baby on her own, post
abortion counseling, social
service referrals, maternity
clothing, cribs, emergency
_housing, 24-hour hotline,
childbirth classes, information on
abortion, (procedures & risks)
referrals to doctors, and more, all
free of charge and with complete
confidentiality. The services a
client receives are based on her
emotional, physical and spiritual
needs and her request for these
services.
The staff and counselors of the
PAC .t'e trained professionals and
volunteers offering assistance in a
crisis situation. The PAC is
designed to help defuse the crisis
distress cycle, which often
interferes with a clearly thought
out decision. The counselor's
responsibility is 'never to decide
for the client; only to dispense
available' information and assist
the client in sorting out the
decision she can live with. If a
client opts for an abortion the
PAC would refer her to her doctor
The Collegian Thursday, December 7, 198 9
The
issin
tece
Mark's Absolutely
Positively Cross-My-
Heart-Hope-to-Die, Stick
an Amana, Refrigerator-in
my-Eye Reason for Ugly
Fat Deposits Forming
Around your Waist: Fat
isn't a solid, but a gas. It floats
through the air and is affected by
positive and negative charges,
attracted to the positive and
repelled by the negative. People'
are either positively or negatively
charged. This explains why some
people can eat pasta, chocolate,
ice cream, and every other
slothful and fattening food under
the sun and not gain an ounce
while other poor souls eat one
piece of lettuce-a day and gain ten
- pounds. My solution; stand by
someone more positive than you.
The fat will pass you up every
time.
Jolt Cola discontinued
at Wintergreen Cafe:
Supposedly any drink containing
more caffeine than two tons of
coffee is bad for you. Wrong.
Having 5,000 pounds of writhing
newts dumped on your bead while
reciting_ Chaucer is bad for you.
A little caffeine now and then .to
stay awake for whatever isn't bad,
considering all the other harmful
thins one could consume. With
(or help her fmd one) who could
confirm the pregnancy and how
far along she is. The PAC is not
a medical facility and holds
-firmly to the belief that a client
should see a medical professional
before ever going through with
an abortion.
The PAC recognizes the fact
that no every client that enters its
doors will walk away satisfied.
However, it is our goal to
provide genuine caring services to
all clients. We stand by the
testimonies of several hundred
girls yearly, who feel their stop
to the PAC was a turning point
of hope in a very desperate time.
Some found they were not
pregnant, but found a friendly ear
to discuss other concerns. Some
wanted to keep their babies and
found assistance to do so. Some
felt an abortion was their only
option, but wanted another
alternative and placed their baby
for adoption, -- or found a way to
keep the baby. Others needed a
home and were given a place to
live, with dignity through their
pregnancy. Some simply wanted
a pregnancy test and nothing else.
Still others said they were
alcohol (Budweiser or rubbing,
take your pick), cocaine, cigarette
smoke, herring party snacks - a
little caffeine dciesn't seem that
dangerous. However, studies
show consuming too much
caffeine causes hair loss, pot
bellies, and a sudden urge to do
stupid commercials. Look at
Telly Savalas.
Behrend in General: - Over
the last ten years the college has
seen a new addition to the Reed
Building, a new_bookstore, a new
radio station, and lots of nifty
little mobile homes for faculty
officei. Other things - included
expansion plans no one will see
for ten years, parking problems
(just today' I toasted my fifth
Chevette), and rising
Wintergreen Gorge prices.
As we enter the 90's; we can
look back on this decade, look at
all the good and bad things, the
triumphs and tragedies, hopes and
failures and ask the eternal
question, "What's for dinner?"
Collegian
an abortion and did. Some
women came to the center out of
their despair and need to talk
about an abortion that haunted
them and found a post-abortion
support group and much needed
healing.
It is vital that we acknowledge
that when there is a crisis, such
as an unexpected or even
unwanted pregnancy, there are no
quick fixes. However, there are
hasty and regrettable decisions
possible. The PAC is committed
to helping in any way possible to
provide assistance through the
crisis time so the woman can
look back satisfied that she took
the time and had the opportunity
to choose a course of action with
a clear mind. This truly is what
the term "choice" is about. Our
aim is to provide the loving care
and concern that perhaps the
young college student in the
letter to Dr. Barton's column
would like. We are here to serve
you.
Sincerely,
Brenda Newport
Executive Director