Page 6 Mark looks at the 80's: the decade from Mars by Mark Owens This week's Missing Pieces is going to be one of those "remember the 80's" things, since by the time I get around to writing another column, the 90's, will be here and most people will look back on this most eventful decade and say "huh?" Here are some of the serious, silly, and strange things that happened over the last decade, most of which I'm sure we'll be glad to forget. - Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart: This was the decade of the corrupt televangelist. Never before have so many good, bad, ugly, and perverted ("Dearly Beloved, I have sinned - with my lawn tractor) made so much money by saying God neededit and you should send them some. I always figured if God really needed money, he.could always arrange a loan or something on His own. His Credit rating can't be that bad. Congress: Our nation's leaders managed to accomplish just bunches of things this decade. In 1987 they tried to give themselves a large pay raise. The attempt failed after a large .number of people earning minimum wage showed up- on the Capitol steps with large blunt objects and suggested $89,000 a Letter to the Editor Pregnancy Aid Center objects to characterization hi. Agency says they offer an alternative to an abortion Dear editor, In her column, of November 1, 1989, Dr. Barton after claiming she "must remain objective" proceeded to discredit the Pregnancy Aid Center. Barton's comments were indeed devoid of any objectivity, as she had never visited the PAC, spoken with any staff members or investigated any concerns she may have had personally about the PAC. She made a hasty and condemning judgement, something she also warns others against in her column. The staff of the Pregnancy Aid Center appreciates the opportunity to give the factual and accurate information to the students and faculty about our services. We hope any concerns or damage done by Barton's column will be rectified. We wish to explain what the PAC does, and , what it does not do. We make no apologies for our services or policies as they fill a very real need for the woman in crisis. First, the PAC is not an abortion referral source. It is not a political action organization. The PAC is a year wasn't a bad thing and they should be happy with it. Congress also managed to hide the savings and loan disaster with the following standardized ploy: - You: Congressman Dinkle, what's the deal with savings and -loan thing? Congressman Dinkle: What S&L thing? You: . That S&L thing where every man, woman and child has to pay around, say, 500 bucks to cover the 100 billion dollar debt? Congressman Dinkle: Ah... Look! It's an American_ flag on fire! Ack! Hollywood Smut: Sitcoms were the rage of the decade, with the Cosby Show, Family Ties and Cheers slugging it out for our attention. Roseanne was pretty big herself, so to speak. _Fitness: The fitness craze sikept, the eighties, with aerobics, jogging, cross training, cycling, and water buffalo lifting being the hottest exercises. People started-wearing athletic wear one molecule. 'thick; I mean, never before have so many people willingly strolled around looking like psychedelic Bob Evans vificages. Health nuts feasted on oat bran, Nutrasweet and fiber in general. In other words, we're talking about gerbil food. privately funded, non denominational Christian service organization. Our first aim is to provide loving, concerned outreach to the woman in a crisis pregnancy situation. A "Crisis Pregnancy" is: "any pregnancy that causes a woman distress or anxiety, regardless of the reason or circumstances." We maintain that not all women wish to abort and if assisted in the decision making process, or given other options, will not abort. We believe that a woman may abort because she feels she has no other choice, and often regrets the decision, a decision that cannot be reversed. We also recognize that some women do choose to abort. If this is the client's decision the PAC does not condemn, but offers the same personal care and concern to that individual. We provide counseling and support. If a decision to abort camas trauma to the client, we remain available to her. Many women have found that the PAC is one of the few services available to discuss their post-abortion trauma. What services does the PAC Doctors, scientists and the makers of the Abdominizer (a cafeteria tray with handles designed to do sit-ups for you) have pondered for years how people get fat. Now, at the close of the decade I think it's time we got the true reason for weight gain and loss. This is where I come in. actually provide? The PAC provides: pregnancy tests, counseling through the crisis, on decision making, adoption, caring for a baby on her own, post abortion counseling, social service referrals, maternity clothing, cribs, emergency _housing, 24-hour hotline, childbirth classes, information on abortion, (procedures & risks) referrals to doctors, and more, all free of charge and with complete confidentiality. The services a client receives are based on her emotional, physical and spiritual needs and her request for these services. The staff and counselors of the PAC .t'e trained professionals and volunteers offering assistance in a crisis situation. The PAC is designed to help defuse the crisis distress cycle, which often interferes with a clearly thought out decision. The counselor's responsibility is 'never to decide for the client; only to dispense available' information and assist the client in sorting out the decision she can live with. If a client opts for an abortion the PAC would refer her to her doctor The Collegian Thursday, December 7, 198 9 The issin tece Mark's Absolutely Positively Cross-My- Heart-Hope-to-Die, Stick an Amana, Refrigerator-in my-Eye Reason for Ugly Fat Deposits Forming Around your Waist: Fat isn't a solid, but a gas. It floats through the air and is affected by positive and negative charges, attracted to the positive and repelled by the negative. People' are either positively or negatively charged. This explains why some people can eat pasta, chocolate, ice cream, and every other slothful and fattening food under the sun and not gain an ounce while other poor souls eat one piece of lettuce-a day and gain ten - pounds. My solution; stand by someone more positive than you. The fat will pass you up every time. Jolt Cola discontinued at Wintergreen Cafe: Supposedly any drink containing more caffeine than two tons of coffee is bad for you. Wrong. Having 5,000 pounds of writhing newts dumped on your bead while reciting_ Chaucer is bad for you. A little caffeine now and then .to stay awake for whatever isn't bad, considering all the other harmful thins one could consume. With (or help her fmd one) who could confirm the pregnancy and how far along she is. The PAC is not a medical facility and holds -firmly to the belief that a client should see a medical professional before ever going through with an abortion. The PAC recognizes the fact that no every client that enters its doors will walk away satisfied. However, it is our goal to provide genuine caring services to all clients. We stand by the testimonies of several hundred girls yearly, who feel their stop to the PAC was a turning point of hope in a very desperate time. Some found they were not pregnant, but found a friendly ear to discuss other concerns. Some wanted to keep their babies and found assistance to do so. Some felt an abortion was their only option, but wanted another alternative and placed their baby for adoption, -- or found a way to keep the baby. Others needed a home and were given a place to live, with dignity through their pregnancy. Some simply wanted a pregnancy test and nothing else. Still others said they were alcohol (Budweiser or rubbing, take your pick), cocaine, cigarette smoke, herring party snacks - a little caffeine dciesn't seem that dangerous. However, studies show consuming too much caffeine causes hair loss, pot bellies, and a sudden urge to do stupid commercials. Look at Telly Savalas. Behrend in General: - Over the last ten years the college has seen a new addition to the Reed Building, a new_bookstore, a new radio station, and lots of nifty little mobile homes for faculty officei. Other things - included expansion plans no one will see for ten years, parking problems (just today' I toasted my fifth Chevette), and rising Wintergreen Gorge prices. As we enter the 90's; we can look back on this decade, look at all the good and bad things, the triumphs and tragedies, hopes and failures and ask the eternal question, "What's for dinner?" Collegian an abortion and did. Some women came to the center out of their despair and need to talk about an abortion that haunted them and found a post-abortion support group and much needed healing. It is vital that we acknowledge that when there is a crisis, such as an unexpected or even unwanted pregnancy, there are no quick fixes. However, there are hasty and regrettable decisions possible. The PAC is committed to helping in any way possible to provide assistance through the crisis time so the woman can look back satisfied that she took the time and had the opportunity to choose a course of action with a clear mind. This truly is what the term "choice" is about. Our aim is to provide the loving care and concern that perhaps the young college student in the letter to Dr. Barton's column would like. We are here to serve you. Sincerely, Brenda Newport Executive Director