The Collegian Wednesday, October 25,1989
Ed thinks -that Erie is a cosmic kind of town
by Ed Miseta
Last week I read an article in
the Erie paper which left me quite
shaken. It seems aIJ.F.O. landed
in the Soviet. Llnion, .out of
whiAi emergec4ltree space. alie ns:
-71S9riv,ipre..110te (over* feet
tat!), wore
had
type of silver
outfit, and had three eyes. Qne of
them carried a tube-like weapon
which he used to zap a Soviet
boy, causing the lad todi.sapPear l
They then got back in the ship
and took off. The story was
substantiated bylaw enforcement
officers and even, appeared in
Tass, the official 'Soviet 'news
service.
I felt a little weird after
reading it and later that night had
-k dream , l whic,h also , dealt . with
• • •
I was in downtown. .Erie
- standing in front of -an . old,
rundown building.that had broken
windows and was all boarded-up.
I couldn't tell which building it
was, since this description - fits
several buildings on State Street.
I suddenly heard a loud humming
noise and looked up to see ,a
U.F.O. coming towards me. It
was very large, round, and shiny.
In fact, it sort of resembled
Elizabeth Taylor. covered., with
gallons of Wesson oil.
It kept coming closer until
finally it was hovering"jusia few
feet away from me. A hatch
opened up and out came an alien.
Like the aliens spotted in the
Soviet Union,.this one was very
large, silvery, and had three eyes.
Across his chest was a small
SHRM
spec_ - r
serie*gets
under :.way
by Stan Lefes
Edward Pietkiewicz," Human
Resource Director of Lake Erie
Institute of Rehabilitation spoke
at Behrend last Tuesday.
Pietkiewicz was brought here
by the local chapter of Society of
Human Resource Managers
(SHRM) as part of its speaker
series. In his speech, he stressed
the importance of education and
people/writing skills required in
today's business world.
Pietkiewicz divided the
audience of 40 students into four
groups. These groups were charged
with suggesting solutions to a
human resource scenario. This was
done as part of a demonstration of
typical decisions that a human
resource manager face In their job.
Pietkiewicz was the first in a
series of speakers sponsored by
SHRM. The program . will run
throughout the academic year for
students interested in hearing
from successful members of the
local business community.
label which contained what I
assumed' was his name: LU 2-
LEO. Upon exiting the saucer he
immediately began telling me his
problems. It seems he was the
leader on his home planet for
twenty years, but the populace
eventually threw him out,
claiming he did not provide them
with any leadership. -
'That's' amazing" I told him.
"Erie also has a leader with
Yet t a Du h c E d Ot P v Ze aß.
..
similar name,- who has not
provided us with any leadership
in twenty years."
• He seemed relieved to know
that he -wa - s-'lmt: , thez , .. - ottly
tsiitile"Seliolitician in the
universe. He went on to say his
constituents were also - upset that
their local economy was not
properly developing.
"That's another thing we have
in common" I said. "Erie's
economy is like pqnd water, only
it-doesn't move as fast. The only
THE CART) GALLERY
K-Mart Plaza East, Buffalo Road 899-8782
111 t
- -. . ..
..
_ - • -. I ilk
.
,- 4101.. - N
.... . ,
• - -4
•liii• _ --
, .
- Stop' by The Card - Gallery for your Halloween
needs-cards, decorations, candy, and costumes
For That Special Halloween
Treat
• Stop by ...
THE BEHREND BOOKSTORE
IE E
. - .
: - See our decorative
spiders, pumpkins,
and bats!
jobs that: have been. new to the
Erie Area in the last twenty years
are in fast food restaurants and at
Katie's Health Spa down onl6th
and State. Work in the former and
your face breaks out. Work in the
latter. and you get AIDS. A few
years. ago one of the most
popular pastimes in Erie was
guessing which manufacturing
fur. on 12th street would be the
next to close it's doors."
_ -
ESS - 1
5 0 , 4 E
Ladoß LESS
ret . I.
..‘
. ,--...*,,, ,?,
4e - „,, i. :., /..:_
"But we have other problems
too" He added. "our planet does
not, pull in visitors like we used
to, so now.pur hotels sit - empty:
And what'S worse, my colleagues
seem to ignore all this,
pretending it's not happening. We
have three eyes because one sees
all the good that goes on, one
sees all the bad that goes on, and
one sees only what the viewer
wants it to see.
"Unfortunately, my board
members use that third eye most
often."
"That's nothing" I said. "Our
council members all have two
eyes, yet use both of them to see
only what they want to see. To
them,. crime, poverty, and budget
deficits are non-existent in our
city. They certainly never do
anything about them. And
speaking of hotels, we have one
on 10th and Peach that has been
there approximately fifteen years
and has yet to have anyone sleep
in' it. Every year it goes bankrupt
and is sold to a new owner."
"Perhaps you could •turn it
into housing for the elderly" he
said.
"That's just what we need" I
replied. "Erie is already the
elderly housing capital. a the
world. We probably sell -more
Geritol, per capita, than any other
state in the U.S
"But what-about your roads?"
he asked "And all that lake front
pmPertY?" . -
"Well," I said, "the city has
just started - work on a new
bayfront highway that our leaders
have been talking about building
eve; since the Chinese first
started talking about building a
wall around_ their country. And
"although Erie is Pennsylvania's
only port on the great lakes, our
bayfront is as bare .as Mother
Hubbards cupboard."
~+►~:~
tUteASI
"I guess ineffective leadership
is a problem throughout the
universe" he said.
"I'd have to agree with that," I
replied.
He then thanked me for taking
the time to talk with him, got
back in the saucer, and took off.
The gust of wind produced by the
. . •
a ir .
•
•
• : ..• ,
• YAMAHA
.. . -
• 8001:01MP : r •S„ ••••• •
'
. . •
UI)
School Scoaters. Wiiik,'Scootrs
Fua Seociiiis!!f
Page 7
liftoff blew-a newspaper into my
face. I looked at the headline
which read:.
Police Hose Down Tammy
Bakker, Find.-Jimmy Hoffa
Undernealli The thought of that
was scary enough to snap me out
of the drearh. Ijust hope the next
time I have one,, it's about
something much more ple4sant.
Maybe a holiday in Cambodia.
The.Collegiarris
now accepting
applications from .
students interested in
serving as editor for
spring of 1990.
Interested persons
should apply
immediately by
placing letters of
dpplication in The
Collegian mailbox.
Letters should include
information about
your past experience as
well as an explanation
of your personal
philosophy of running
a student newspaper.
Deadline for
applications is
November 10.
liz-s:E - -?.:',i : cp':;,