The Collegian Wednesday, October 4, 1989 Opinion Unsigned letters aren't responsible journalism A recent Collegian editorial, encouraging letters to the editor, may have helped our cause. The past two weeks have brought a welcome flurry of letters. But we've also received a handful of letters which we won't print. While those letters had interesting points to make, they were unsigned, and, according to our policy, could not be printed. Allow us to make our point clear: Unsigned letters will remain unprinted letters. With extremely rare exception, it won't matter how eloquent or insightful the thoughts - all letters must be signed. We agree with the idea that anything worth saying is worth signing, but there's another reason for our policy. Newspapers that allow unsigned letters to appear invite hit and run tactics, allowing critics to talk tough and run away. The purpose of an opinion page is to provide our readers with a means to express themselves - not to blindside someone without assuming responsibility for what they write. We'll let you criticize, observe and critique as much as you like - just be prepared to stand behind what you say. While some unsigned letters are of a volatile nature, we often receive letters that go unsigned for no apparent reason. We hope those persons who have submitted unsigned letters, will consider resubmitting those letters - signed, of course. Often The Collegian, as well as most other newspapers, .will print news stories or editorials which carry no by-line or name. While we've been told this is no different than an unsigned editorial, bear in mind that a newspaper's editor is held responsible for the newspaper's content. We're standing behind what we say and hope you'll do the same. The Collegian is now accepting application from students interested in serving as Collegian Editor for spring of 1990. Interested persons should apply immediately by placing Getters of interest in The Collegian mailbox. Letters should include information about your past experience as well as a detailed explanation of your personal, philosophy of running a student newspaper. The Collegian Published weekly by the students of Behrend College, Erie, Pa (814) 898-6488 Member of College Press Service Editor.... James Martin Assistant Editor.... Todd J. Irwin Entertainment Editor.... Robb Frederick Sports Editor.... John Musser Columns Editor.... Rob Prindle Copy. Editor.... Rob Farnham Photo Coordinator.... Rick Brooks Business Manager.... Stan Lefes Advertising Manager.... Christie Redmond Advisor.... Dr. Mike Simmons The Collegian is a student-edited newspaper LOVE ROB Please don't vote Editor's note: Rob Print& is taking a few weeks . off from his regular column to work on a special project for The Collegian. Until he resumes writing, we'll be running some of Rob's favorite Love Robs of the past two years. This column first appeared in spring , of 1988 by Rob Priamße I'll tell you what's been on my mind. I've been thinking about the primary election that's coming up in a few weeks, and here is my advice: Don't vote. I did not come to this opinion easily. I shut myself in a cold, dark room for days with nothing to read but Newsweek, The USA Today, Mad Magazine and the latest Far Side anthology. I am now, and always will be, an expert on the subject of the competitive two party elective system. God, I feel so powerful. Now, I suppose, you want some reasons not to vote. You want those reasons because you are all responsible, well educated citizens - who demand your say - in this representative goVerninent. You demand your day at the polls and you deserve your day, but lets face it, some people just shouldn't vote. I've heard a lot of talk about voter apathy. I'm for it. I don't want anyone who is too lazy to pull a few levers deciding who should run our country. Therefore, I say to the apathetic people of this country: Don't vote. Just stay at home. Well, that takes care of 50% of you. The rest of you don't give up that easy. Alright, who else shouldn't vote? Bi-sexuals should stay at home on election night. Why? Simple. Anyone who can't decide what gender they prefer cannot be trusted to decide an important elected office like the presidency. A person who can't decide between Playboy and Playgirl at the newsstand probably isn't going to be incredibly effective in a voting booth. Oh yeah, transvestites shouldn't vote either. A person who can't decide between wearing a pair of blue jeans and work boots, or a leather mini skirt and pumps may have some bigger problems than deciding who the Republicans should nominate for president. Women who now think, or have ever thought that Michael Jackson was a sexy guy should not vote. I'm sorry to have to break the news to you ladies. Michael is a woman, although maybe not female. If you couldn't figure that out without my help, you are not competent to vote according to my rules. Catholics shouldn't vote if they haven't felt like laughing at church service when the priest kisses every religious object within reach. I'm Catholic sometimes, and I have to actually turn my head when the priest puckers, to avoid an embarrassing outburst of laughter. On the other hand, if you have ever been thrown out of church for what I have just mentioned, you should get three votes. Those are the major categories .but in case there are a few of you who slipped through, there are a few other groups who should not vote. Cigarette smokers. You stink the place up and besides there are no ashtrays in voting booths. Smokers should have realized that their voting days were numbered as soon as the government started creating both smoking and non-smoking sections in public buildings. It will be hard for smokers to vote from the broom closet. Rob Prindle Just a few more, all for obvious reasons. Beastie Boys fans. Anyone who enjoys physics. People who own cats. Anyone who does not read this column regularly. Anyone who admires Oliver North's integrity. Anyone who thinks George Bush reminds them of Clint Eastwood. Anyone who thinks George Bush reminds them of a president. And the list goes on. I've heard a lot of talk about voter apathy. I'm for it. I don't want anyone who is too lazy to pull a few levers deciding who should run our country. Therefore, I say to the apathetic people of this country: Don't vote. Just stay at home. Space limitations do not enable me to eliminate everyone, so, since a partial list may lead to wide spread voter confusion I will simplify things. You can vote if you, got a few yucks out of this column. I'll see you all at the polls. Page 5