The Collegian : the weekly newspaper of Behrend College. (Erie, PA) 1989-1993, April 12, 1989, Image 10
Page 10 by Joe Albrecht So the butcher says to the call girl "Nevermind the Vienna sausage, what'd ya do with the pepperoni stick?" Oh. Excuse me. I didn't realize the column had started already. I was just finishing telling my roommate a joke. And it's a good thing I live away from home and have a roommate - that was hardly the kind of joke that would be shown the proper appreciation by my mother, or for that matter, my Chia Pet. Still, there's a lot to consider when pondering whether to move out such as: do you have ACROSS 1 Asterisk 5 Decay 8 Vehicles 12 Part of face 13 Exist 14 Century plant 15 Keyed up with interest 16 Playing card 17 Nerve network 18 Attic 20 Mended with cotton 22 Period of time 23 The self 24 Whipped 27 Come back 31 Shoemaker's tool R... , . ♦I ~ i7 04,744 :\0 4 b:%,\N0\N1.N0N:p 0 00 A LAST STRAW 0. /Fresh flowers for all your/ / floral needs. Behrend /students . - 10% discount/ / 89 , 8-187,9, / A.N.Noaxxxlv44.NONAkNO. DISCOVER DIVING SCUBA CLASSES -" Sam Leo -A :4 41.74' AS . 2 - if DIVE SHOP. EVERY 'THURSDAY 7 PM SUBURBAN YWCA 4247 W. RIDGE RD: 825-7000 Tidbits From Earth Joe Made His Move the money to afford the move, should you have a roommate or live alone, who can you sucker into doing your laundry, and is roommate spelled with one "m 7 or two: ADVANTAGES TO MOVING 1. No-one is around to stop you from drinking beer. 2. It doesn't matter if you spill beer on the carpeting. 3. You can always have another beer. DISADVANTAGES TO MOVING 1. You'll eventually have to clean the toilet bowl, unless of course you want creatures with 32 Game at cards 33 Irritate 37 In truth 40 Ventilate 41 Weight of India 42 Rag 45 Chief 49 Dil!seed 50 Biblical name 52 Top of head 53 Christmas carol 54 Nickname for Nancy 55 Sea eagles 56 Contest 57 Accomplished 58 Chair DOWN 1 Unexpected difficulty Also: Screen Printing .for. all your Clubs or. Organizations 7 , CaH on us for All . ph. - (814) 455-255,1 your Fraternity & 115 West 9.th Street .Sbroilii:Needs !ir Erie, PA 16501 the consistency of Jello ooz; up from the netlierworld. 2. If you have kindly friends, who, thinking only of your now-impoverished needs, decide to give you food for your sustenance, such as eggrolls, and you heat the grease to cook them to a temperature quite compatible with the sun and you inadvertently almost start the whole kitchen on fire, you may not have an extinguisher handy to suffocate the blaze. Not that this ever happened to me. 3. After paying all of the respective fees for moving into a place such as for turning on Weekly Crossword Puzzle 2 Roman garment . ' 7 Fragile • 3 Hebrew lyre 8 Vegetable 4 Rue 9 Danish measure 5 Climbing palm 10 Repetition 6 Miner's find 11 Sow 19 Before 21 Mature 24 Prohibit 25 Female sheep 26 In music, high 28 Rubber tree 29 Fish eggs 30 Bow 34 Gossip 35 Falsehood 36: Commission 37 Land surround ed by water 38 Born .39 Arranges in folds 42 Zest 43 Ox of Celebes 44 Abound 46 Challenge 47 Sicilian volcano 48 Remainder 51 Capuchin monkey :•• • • Our Specialties +HeavyWeight Sweatshirts +ln Stock & Custom Jackets +Sew on Lettering +All Fraternity & Sorority -accessories The The Collegian Wednesday, April -12 the ga's, ,security deposit, and the phone hook-up, you'll only have enough money left to purchase one Snickers bar; providing someone lends you a quarter. • • I 'think it's quite obviouS after looking at the lists above that the advantages far outweigh Joe Albrecht the disadvantages. So go ahead and move out on your own, but before you run off and foolishly rent the first - decrepit place you ,here, are, three, . rules .- of caution: 1. Before signing the lease, make sure you read the small print. This advice works whether it concerns your lease, cereal boxes, or FBI subpoenas. Wouldn't it be a shocker to find out after you've signed the lease that you've agreed to give the landlord a complete body massage on the 10th of each month. 2. Make _sure your landlord looks,like Harry . Dean Stanton. Ours does. And he's fairly efficient. Every time we have a problem he's right over to fix it. Although, I . suppose any famous actor would suffice. 3. Don't listen to Geraldo Rivera. This doesn't necessarily have. anything to do with renting a dwelling, it's just good, all-around sound advice because you and I both know he is quite simply a weenie. Some of you out there might still be wondering whether or not you should have a roommate. Although having one cuts costs considerably there is a good chance that if the two of you are close friends when you move in, each of you will hate the other with an•undying passion by the second week. Following the same logic, the converse must also be true - if everyone roomed with someone he hated, they would end up best of friends. Just think how much more harmonious and loving the world would be if George Bush and. Mikhail Gorbachev, bunked together. - • ••-;. • ' By now . you should - all have decided which state of living is best for you. If you should have any questions please do not hesitate to call, althotgh you may have to let it ring a number of times while I finish telling my roommate some more jokes.