Page 6
Steroid Suicide
Get Fit Now
by Brian Nelson .
Collegian Staff Writer
This is the article you've all been waiting for. The one where
this health nut raps steroid use. Well, I hate to disappoint you, but
you've probably already heard every one of the negative raps
anyway. Instead of lecturing, I'd like to present some of the
alternative (legal) products that are available that can give you
steroid results. Of course, some of you are so thick headed that
you'd still use steroids even if God came down and told you not to.
The thing that amuses me most about some of the guys that
come into my health store is their lack of common sense. They
balk at the prices of my natural steroid replacement kits which
average around $120.00 at the most. But yet they'll pay the
oversized monkey at their gym well over $200.00 for a six week
supply of steroids that are probably nothing but cheap garbage
mixed in a bathtub somewhere in Mexico.
Well, enough already, I promised I wouldn't preach. First of all
I'd like to clear the air on one thing. Natural steroids and the
Synthetic Steroids that you hear so much negative flack about, are
not the same things. Natural steroids are what their names implies.
They are mixtures of various herbs and natural enzyme substances
that stimulate growth hormone release and raise testosterone levels
naturally, without any of the side effects you'd receive from
synthetic steroids.
If you've caught my drift so far you've probably already guessed
that synthetic steroids are prescription drugs manufactured in a
laboratory. If abused, synthetics can cause severe side effects of
nightmarish proportions.
Up until about four years ago these steroids could be purchased
over the prescription counter. Many doctors were raking a fortune
off the egos of muscle-seeking men. Since then, however, steroids
have been banned altogether in this country. No matter what line of
bull the dunce down at the gym gives you, there are no steroids
produced in this country.
A major scam has evolved from the demand for these steroids.
Many fly by night producers in other countries are smuggling their
counterfeit drugs into this country with the name of one of the
more prominent U.S. laboratories forged on the label. These are
even more dangerous for the fact that they are impure drugs which
can cause such diseases as hepatitis, and possibly AIDS. Yes...the
dreaded AIDS. I'd like to see some macho man try to explain to his
peers at the gym how lie contacted AIDS.
Let's be serious. Everyone, including myself, is obsessed with
the idea of making our bodies attractive to the opposite sex. If
putting on size is the solution for you then natural steroids are the
way to go. Unlike synthetic steroids, you will not see results by
tomorrow, but the results will appear in time. Anything natural
and good takes time. Usually in about nine weeks you should
begin to notice significant progress.
I'd have to say that there are a lot of products that are nothing
more than trash and will only work towards you having a few less
dineros in your pocket. When choosing products, you should go
with the more reputable names, and don't be shy about writing
these companies for further information. By law, they are required
to providd all the information that is available on their product.
If you have just started a bodybuilding program, you've
probably wondered what supplements you'll need besides balanced
meals. In order to be successful at bodybuilding, you should first
consider taking a good multiple vitamin. In addition it is very
important to supplement your workouts with amino acids -- free
formed, peptides, and branched chain, L-Carnitine, Inosine, and
Smilax Officinales. All of these products can be found at a health
store and are legal and natural.
These products do cost quite a bit. You'll need to take your
goals into consideration. If you want your bodybuilding program to
be successful, you'll have to think about trade offs. You could trade
off the average $60.00 a week you might spend on booze. And the
natural steroids are a good alternative to the $200.00 cycles of
synthetic steroids that will eventually become a habit. You can
decide if you would rather invest in natural products that will
provide. yoU with an appealing appearance, while also providing
good health which will last a lifetime. It's your choice.
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626 E. College Ave.
814-234-2382
Spring Fashion
contd. from
previous page
pile-ups by distracting
motorists.
And that's it for spring. Of
course, designers are already at
work for summer, Tall and the
apocalypse, as there is a huge
demand to be in style. In fact,
fashion designers just know that
people will wear anything they
say so as not to be considered
fashion-less twerps.
My spies in the Fashion
Underworld (two janitors named
Phyllis and Leroy) tell me they
plan to test the public this
summer to see how stupid they
really are. Expect the following
fashion statements:
Cowboy - plaid shirts that
would scare a snake into a
coma, big inflatable hats and
over-the-waist boots will appear
in July.
Pat Boone
Boone. 'Nuff said?
Rocky and Bullwinkle -
Headgear and bathroom slippers.
Madonna - Anything she
would wear during a full moon.
Hones.
Join me -next time as I
explore the National Enquirer's
Swimsuit Issue: YoU know -
the one with the sexy three
headedblien centerfold.
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