Page 8
Commercials Aren't Just for Advertising Anymore
by Joe Albrecht
I've been watching a lot of
television lately. Already, I
know what you're saying.
You're saying, "Joe, you should
be spending your time more
constructively by finishing
reading Moby Dick, which was
assigned last semester, or else
phoning your Congressman
telling him that since he was
responsible for increasing the
minimum wage, you think he
deserves that extra $45,000 a
year - or better yet - make it an
even $100,000." To which I
reply, "Easy for you to say, you
probably have a lot of free
time."
I don't enjoy watching TV,
but it's my responsibility. I
have a column to turn out and
where else am I going to get
interesting ideas - the Enquirer?
- my subscription ran out.
Magazine articles? - I lent out
my Sports Illustrated Swimsuit
edition. The radio - that went
out before Dean Baldwin's
leisure suit.
So you can see how I end up
Undergraduate Credit
Course Schedule
Days MaJduraday; TaTisaiday: W-Widnesirril R.Tlaasdar,
&Friday: SaSsesday: M•F.Maday thrall& Friday
Simmer Session 1- May 1 1 - June 1.1989
(3 Weeks -Students Limited to 3 dedhs in this Session)
Classes meet Monday through Friday.
Schott Casa Corse
No. Ablaut,. No. Tido
Daytime
189795 BECON 450 Ildsmsaiii 1 3 JA-F 9:00.11:45 A.M.
167924 111 SC 002 Gawks.
Ecology. Eveloom
167931 ECM 302 birmaduise 1 3 U-F 94041:45 A.M.
Micassamasnic Analysis
167950 ENGL 119 Food= 1 3 M•F 9:013.11:45 AM.
Modern Deena
1679 U ENGL ZOL" Technical 1 3 14-F 900-11:45
181192 140.17 321 Ctezainiz. 1 3 14-F 1:118.3:45 P.M.
181919 MONT 471 Busies 1 3 14-F 1:0113:43 PAC
168103 AWED 321 low $o
Mgmt. Into. Symms
16800 M PHIL Ol2 symbol
162992 PSY 002 Psychology 1•3 M-F 9110-11:45 A.M
168040 SPAN 003 Imermai • 1 4 M-F 900-11:45 A.M
SPlnish By Appointment
168013 SPCOMIOOA Effacrive 1 3 38-F 9:01111:45 Al 4
Speck
168068 ART 110 Design 2-D 1 3 1 1 .4-F 6:00-8:45 P.M
206588 CMPBD297A C 1 1 MTR &Icoas P.M
Pg
167933 ECON 002 boo ao 1 3 M•F 6:00.8:45 P.M
Miaincolgun# Andysis
168130 P E 342 Tana I 1 1 14-F 6:00400 P.M.
168121 SPCOM 220 Imo to 1 3 14-F -6.00-8:45 PAL
I . liji
Summer Session 2 - June 12 - August 2, 1989
(8-Week Regular Summer Session)
Schat. Caase Comm
No. ANNev. No. T:tlx
Daytime
168266 ACCTG 104 Intro to
Moagerial fave.
16881 S BIOBD 49413 k/Sr
Bea Romoich
168824 BIOBD 495 Biology 1 3-12 By kpaineamt.
bantship
in front of the tube - it has
everything - gossip, sex,
violence and sun-dried fruit
dancing hither and tither across
the screen in time to music.
Seeing these California raisons
sweating their tails off (I have
yet to see one with a tail
anyway) made me realize that
commercials aren't just
advertisements anymore; they're
entertainment also. This is not
emphasized any more than in
the diet Coke advertisements
where pseudo-talent Whitney
(Whip Me) Houston lip-synchs
to a jingle only slightly less
ridiculous than any given song
on one of her albums.
Excluding Whip Me and her
kind, there seems to be a major
change in TV over the past 10
years: the commercials are more
interesting than the TV shows
they sponsor, with the
exception of the episode of
Gerald() where he got nailed in
the face with a chair. (Update:
As I understand, the
chair, sighting irreparable
dainage, has sued for a
million dollars on the
Penn State Behrend - Summer Session 89
Sac Cr Day Tame
1 3 311-F 9:00.11:45 AIL
I 3 P4-F 100.3:45 PM
1 3 M-F 90311:45 AM
Sac sa Day Mae
1 3 MU 8:13-9-.55 AA!
I 1-12 By Appointment
219340 MATH 251 Ordinary 5 Partial
Tidbits From Earth
161301 MEM 012 Orna. F 162. 1 4 14T1VR11110.1130 AM.
161365 OiEM 015 Espaimaill 1 1 F 0:15A31.4:15PJ4.
168251 OIMEID 4104 Chow lac 1 1-12 By Affaimmemi
16E192 CMPSD 100 biro so
Camps*. AWL 1 12-03-3:40 P.M.
161419 CMPSC 101 km ao 1 3 WM 1:15435 A.M.
AkarkAmic hooteass Mascoo
E G 050 Ear. MAW 1 3 M'l2 12:03-3:30 PM
I Onspb. Qom.
161446 ECM OM Imo op
ENGL Bak
s
ENGL 015 Mac& 1 3 MTh 10:10.11.10 AAL
At, Composibba
GEOSC 020 Pima -
Earth
HISS 297 E England
Wood Taut
HISS 477 E Eaglaid
tided Taut
XEYBD 1003 Pima
Someday
MATH OM Mumma 1 3 MTh 10k10.1160 A. 14.
Alsobta
MATH CO Colley
Airlbis I
MAIN OW Algebra. 1 5 M-F 10:10.1130
This. & Gam
MATH 140 Caloulot t 1 4 MTWR10:10-11.10 A.M.
Analytic Gomm 1
MATH 141 Odoolot & 1 4 MTWRI2OS.I:4S P.M.
Analytic Gem. 11
WATT 331 Ctig.. Doi.% 1 3 MTR 10:10-1135 A.M.
Dovelopmet4
MUSIC 0:6 Iwo to 1 3 MTH 8:15415 A.M.
Wotan Musk
P E 342 Toads 1 2 1 MTWR 11.1:0935
Mat 4 Weeks)
PHYBD494 Roils
Ptoject
PHYS 151 Thiokol 1 3 MIWRIIkIO-1160
Ploysia
FHYS 201 Goers! 1 4 MTWRII:IS-10:10
Ilsysics
FL SC 003 Into to 1 3 1411'&10-110 JUL
CompEatt4 e Polities
PSYCH 130 Mimi. of 1 3 'MIR 10:10-1130 Alt
Inforpononal Maim:lb:co
QB A 102 Elan. 1 3 MIR 1010.11:50 JUL
Bannets Saciaia
195220 RUS 10D Cuban 1 3 MTh 8:15-9:55
&lization
168707 SPCOI , 4IOOB Effective 1 3 MIR 8:15-9:55 AM.
Spsech
168752 ThEA 100 Art of 1 3 MR 10:10-1110 AM.
169201 HSTRY 495 Hilary
Practicurn
18=3 MANGT 497 C Msnu.
PK9eas
Added to the 8-week schedule MISBD
437infmna61 3 711
Systems Project
161581 ThFA 102 Acting
hviiinneatak
Joe Albrecht
grounds that Geraldo
instigated the melee and
that he is a Complete
Ass. Geraldo's lawyers
have since commented
"We don't know what
he'll plead, but we've
advised the Complete Ass
that he should settle out
1 3 MT 1203-1:45 P.M.
1 3 MIR 1010.11.10 A.M.
Ambsis
1 3 MTh &154165 A.M.
1 3 MTW1t8:15.96.5 AM.
1 3 By *ToiNisrmt
13 By .ftvisgmat
301 By Appoicirment
1 3 WM 81:1541:55
1 1-12 By Appoimaamt
1 3 MTR 1105-1:45 P.M.
SEC. CR.
1 4 MTWR 8:15 - 9:55 AM
The commercial I fail to
understand is the one in which
the narrator says "We asked
doctors around the country if
they were stranded on a deserted
island which pain reliever they
would most like to have with
them. Four out of five said
Bayer Aspirin." This is
completely false. Everyone
knows the correct answer is
Loni- Anderson. At least that's
what I'd say. Maybe I should
become a doctor and put some
honesty back into the
profession.
Another type of
advertisement technique I cannot
come to grips with is the Herky
Jerky Cameraman had a seizure
type in which the camera moves
seemingly out of control from
one speaker to the next. This
technique was first developed by
the folks at Nissan (Japanese for
"In terms of quality, we can
wipe your American butts off
the map") who don't have much
to do besides develop
commercials where people sit
Summer Session 2 - June 12 - August 2. 1989
(8-Week Regular Sumner Session Continued)
Schad. Caine Cams
No. Riakrov. No Tole
Organ
168176 ACCTG 101 Iwo to' 1 3 841
Maancial Ara&
168590 ARTS 001 The Arts 1 3 14Th
168214 CHEM 001 lik•lecvlst 1 3 MIR
168617 0 , 41P5C201 Prgag. 1 3 MTh
tar Engineers
168743 ENGL. 015 Rhetoric
Camp:saw'
176276 ENGL 202 D &ninon 1 3 MTR
168635 FN 301 Osmotic' 1 3 MTR
168653 HUMAI , IIOI Mcd. SCIZICt 1 3 86Th It
& Valois
168644 MATH 110 Techniques of 1 4um
Calculus I
168662 14084 T 301 Basis
higal. Camps
168680 MKTG 301 Principles 1 3 MR
of Madam
171749 P E 138 Gal 1 1 MU
168715 QB A 101 boo so 1 3 14TR
168699 890:No1108A Effective 2 3 AITR
Any student registering for English or Mathematics
courses should talk with the counselors at registration to
learn about the placement examinations. Counselors will
discuss which English and Mathematics courses best
meet the needs of the student's degree program. Note the
descriptions of English and Mathematics courses in
another section of this brochure. Allow one hour at
registration for the English placement examination and
eighty minutes for the mathematics placement
examination.
Summer Session 3 - May 11- July 29, 1989
(10-Week Session)
Scad. Course Course
No. AN:rev. No. Tule
169184 COMM 494 Corninu.
Plojact
169193 COMMU 495 A Cana.
Iratostrip
The Collegian Wednesday, February 22
of court to avoid bad
publicity that could
tarnish his good name.)
Sic Cr • This
7:409:20 P.M.
BY APlxeltne=
7:40.920 PM.
5:415:72511111.
5:454:25 P.M
2 3 MTh
5:4161:215 P.M
7:46.9.20 PAR
7:40420 P.M.
7:40420 P.M.
5:45425 P.M
1:40.920 P.M.
I 3 MTh
5:4.5-725 P.M.
&ONUS P.M.
5:45-715 P.M.
5:4`-7:25
Sec Cr Day Time
By I‘pjKitemmt
BYE
I 3-6 By Amassment
1 3 MW 600.&410 P.M.
4:00-6110 P.M.
around a meeting room all day
and hold conversations like this:
(Camera moving helter
skelter in an epileptic fit)
Worker 1 (in a serious
tone): We must develop the
car with the driver in mind.
Worker 2 (equally
serious): So we should
probably include a steering
wheel, huh?
Worker 1: Not
necessarily. We should
incorporate what today's driver
really wants.
Worker 3: Include a
weekend stay a: Hugh Hefner's
mansion?
These are just a few
examples which explicitly detail
the high entertainment quality
of today's television
commercial. Many others exist.
From the highly informative ads
telling of the importance of oats
via Wilford Brimley to the class
that exists on its own - using
harmless domestic animals to
sell beer. I could go on for
hours on the ineptitude of major
beer companies but I'm afraid I
might miss today's Word From
Unity.
201.70. !LES 497 A Coop 1 1.6 BY Ail PI amain*
&mimes
149210 MSC 495 broship 1 14 llly etopoirmas
io Load GooL
113129 PSY 495 nycliciwy 1 1-IS illy Appoismes
Fmk=
MBA Graduate Progmas Courses
(10-Week Session)
&bed Oxon Count
No. .Mitre,. ND. Malt
151935 A 2 to 531 Istaxwe Ts: 1 3 TA 5c1544113 Pit
1119 C OOMMUSOI &sins 1 3 llit 6:15-9•.30 P.M.
Is2ooll MANGT 531 O► 1 3 liW &135900 P.N.
132017 MANGT 545 Emmaus. 1 3 3 3:13.11:43 AIL
112026 MANGT 371 Smack 1 3 MW ik1.5.9110 P.M.
Plarging
NOTE: MBA preixovam compesency co= are limed adder
Sionic Z ACCTG WI and MATH 110 see *nibble evadaigs.
The following MBA comes have online begginniog and owing
dim=
ACWPG 531 (Ohs began May 1 1 aid sick July 6)
COMMU 501 (Cass began May 11 and axis June 22)
MANGT 531 Miss begins May 15 nod ends July 12)
MANGT 571 (Cass begat May 15 sad ends July 12)
OPMAN 501 Miss begins May 15 aid aids July 12)
Masters in Adult Education' Program Courses
Schod. - Course , Como
No. Mitten. No. Tole
200386 ADTED 3973 &location 30 3 TR 6:OIO4CtOD PAL
far arras
2004103 ADTED 5970 Coon
in Dionne Ed. 1230 P.M
200412 ADTED 5971) norm 30 3 MW 6400-11100 P.M
Eva in Adult A Ennsica Ed.
Adult Education courses are delivered via Audio
Teleconferencing from Penn Suite's University Park
campus. As such. they have unique beginning and
ending dates as follows:
ADTED 5978 (Chas begins May 9 and ends June 8)
ADTED 597 C (Class begins May 12 and ends bale 17)
ADTED 597 D (Class begins June 12 and ends July 12)
NOTE: Some undagraclume and saduale. credit e..... 301 may be
dosed to addkioaal enrollment ar may sequie prempaishe courses.
Sic Cr Dry Thee
Sae Cr Day time
- &00-10110 P.M
-30 3• F
S R3O AM.-