The Collegian Wednesday, February 1
Opinion
LOVE ROB
A Man
Automatic Weapon
by Rob Prindle
My friend Butch is generally a good guy. He never cusses in
church, he never disappoints a Girl-Scout peddling her cookies, and
he never runs over invalids (no matter how many points they are
worth).
Butch would, however, be the first person to admit that he does
have some faults.
Butch would also be the first person to admit that he isn't the best
planner. He throws a lot of parties without giving much thought to
the planning. Butch sometimes forgets he has planned one until his
guests threaten to dismember his dog, a faithful cocker spaniel named
Bertha, unless he produces some beer. On Sundays, this causes some
problems.
In Pennsylvania it is illegal to buy more than 192 ounces of beer
from a bar. It is also illegal for a beer distributor to be open on
Sunday. PA government is protecting the Commonwealth from
casually buying beer on the Sabbath. This saintly stand has, no
doubt, saved thousands of law abiding folk from wasting the Lord's
Day swilling Pabst and watching professional wrestling on TV.
Thank God for law and order.
There are a few things you can still do with your Sundays,
though. For instance, you could walk into a local sports store or gun
shop and buy an AK-47 semi-automatic attack riffle, or any similar
mass assault bullet sprayer.
Any day of the year that you can find a store with a gun, you ca
get a gun. All you need to do is put your money on the counter and
fill out a form. While you're out you may as well ask the salesman
how to turn the weapon from semi too fully automatic. You never
know when you might be surrounded by a swarm of commie game
animals. I hear that geese can be quite viscous in hordes. You may
just have to mow your way through the godless little beasts.
Sounds a little ridiculous, but the NRA (rhymes with KKK don't
it?) says that 'sportsmen' have the right to own any gun they want.
Be it a common .22, a plastic pistol (The kind that would pass easily
through a metal detector), or a semi-automatic. The powerful
National Riffle Association lobbying group says Americans cannot
be denied their given right to own heavy fire power. Even if you
aren't allowed to hunt with the gun, target practice with a machine
gun is a birth right.
Last month in California, the small game that a mentally
unbalanced person decided to hunt, turned out to be school children.
Well, it was good that he was entitled to buy the finest man-killing
:-aachine he could afford. Nothing but the best for our boys.
In the heat of any passionate moment, a person is never further
than a half hour from a gun. Under the influence of any drug or even
after being convicted of any crime, a person can fill out the form
(stretching - the truth were need be) and get the child-killer, uh, I mean
'sport gun' of his choice.
America. You gotta' love this country.
and His
I remember one time when
we were young. Butch was
playing with a plastic bag of
gun-powder that had whet his
interest. As he poured some
on an open fire, the trail of
powder caught fire and led up
to the bag where it promptly
blew up. Butch ran around with
his arm on fire for a while.
When all the rest of the kids
got bored watching him hop
and scream, they decided to roll
him around to put the fire out.
Butch was the first to admit
that he was at fault. "I was
stupid," he said, "I never
shoulda' set myself on fire on
account of it hurts."
Letters to the Editor
Did Pete's Perspective Miss Mark?
Dear Pete,
I think that 1982 will be the
year for you - Pete for President.
There is no way you could lose
because anyone who could solve
the nation's drug problem with
$32 million is a sure winner.
You would certainly have my
vote and possibly Nancy
Reagan's also.
Your ideas for solving hunger
and the homeless problem are all
very fine and very noble - and
very unrealistic. As far as
attacking the federal deficit goes,
a 0.0016 percent cut would be a
tremendous "step in the right
direction." I don't really think
that you have a grasp of the true
magnitude of these problems.
As for your fears of this
country filing for banktrupcy,
Reader Doesn't Share Rob's Views
Dear editor,
After reading Love Rob, I felt
that I had no choice but to write.
I'm not writing for your benefit
Rob. Judging from your article, I
realize there is no hope of
reasoning with you. I'm writing
to let it be known that there is
another side to the issue that you
so narrow-mindedly attempted to
Cover.
One of your comments was
that a woman should have a right
to control her own body. I fully
agree. But with abortion, we're
not only talking about a woman's
body, we're also talking about an
unborn child, a separate person
altogether. Medical science has
proven this. The developing child
has a heartbeat, and shows brain
waves before the woman is even
aware that she is pregnant. If it
isn't a developing human what is
it? A duck? A chicken? A carrot?
Unborn babies are treated in
the womb for diseases. Premature
infants are immediately placed on
a life-support system so they will
Realities of Drunken Driving
Dear editor,
Friday 11:37 pm, 19 year old
female involved in a single
vehicle accident. Vehicle
overturned, patient entrapped in
vehicle, patient trapped on arrival
at Trauma Center due to severe
trauma.
Wednesday 10:33 pm, 37
year-old mother and two children
struck broadside by second
vehicle operated by a 17 year-old
male. Mother killed instantly,
children and other driver unhurt.
Saturday 2 am, 18 year-old
male involved in a two vehicle
head-on collision. The 18 year
old is flown from the scene to
trauma center in critical
condition. Driver of second
vehicle killed instantly.
Do I have everyone's
attention? Each of these drivers at
fault had something in common.
They were all legally drunk. I
know how everyone preaches
since it can print its own money,
I don't see it running out in the
next few centuries. Of course that
is a tremendous
oversimplification - but then
again, so was your article.
Of course you think that $32
million is a lot of money, but
once you start looking on a
macro scale instead of on a micro
scale; I think that even Pete's
Perspective might change just a
little. Perhaps the government
could have gotten away for under
$32 million. Perhaps not. Our
government is not efficient. It
never has been, because that is
not the way our forefathers set it
up.
As much as you hate to admit
it, the inauguration of a president
be they Republican or Democrat,
continue to live. A mother can be
criminally liable if she overdoses
on drugs and her unborn baby is
harmed. Have I made my point?
You said the anti-abortionists'
claim to being "right to life" was
a laugh. What's so- ridiculous
about that? The only thing that
we are saying, is that all human
beings, unborn, handicapped, or
elderly, have the right to live.
Why is that funny? Don't you
think that all human beings have
the right to live?
There have been nearly 20
million abortions since Roe vs.
Wade. How can anyone justify
that? Their only crime was that
they were "unwanted" or
"defective." There is no such
thing as an unwanted baby There
arc lists years long of parents
wanting to adopt a baby.
If you haven't guessed, I'm
one of those "strange" anti
abortionists. Apparently anyone
who has motives Rob can't
understand is strange.
about how one out of every ten
people between 10 pm and 4 am
are drinking and driving. Take a
moment and stand in my shoes.
Ever have to pull a dead body
from a car, maybe a person killed
by a drunk driver? See most
drunks are lucky, if you can call
them lucky, they usually live.
Drunks kill the innocent -
mothers, fathers and even
children.
I've been a fire fighter for
almost four years and an
Emergency Medical Technician
for
. a year. I've seen a lot of
deaths in just four years, a lot of
needless deaths.
never forget the hardest day
I ever had on the job. I responded
to an. accident where a drunk
driver killed a four year-old little
girl. The little girl's mother_ and
the drunk driver both walked
away without a scratch.
Page
conservative or liberal, is a big
deal. If you would compare
former presidential inaugurations
(adjusted for inflation) I do not
think that you would find any
signifcant differences in the bill.
If you can accomplish all
these things; finance a relief
program for the homeless, stop
the drug problem, support the
farmers, solve a fictitious
unemployment and buy 712
BMWs (which would certainly
not help the trade deficit or the
American worker).
Why stop there -let's go after
a complete pullout in Europe,
nuclear disarmament, a cure for
AIDS , resumption of the SALT
talks and maybe even world peace
- all for under $32 million.
Richard Martin
Since 1974, there has been an
anti-abortion demonstration held
every January 22 in Washingtopn
D.C. . I've participated in 4 of
those 15 demonstrations,
including the one this past year.
There has never been any less
than 50,000 at one of these
demonstrations. I think that says
something about what people in
this country think of legalized
abortion. Maybe you're not
getting the whole story from the
news, Rob. I realize there are
some very radical members in
this movement, but you get that
with any highly controversial
issue. You can't judge the
majority by the actions of the
few.
As for myself, I'll continue to
speak out for the unborn, who
can't speak for themselves, and
I'll pray for an end to this
senseless, unjustified persecution
of our country's unborn children.
Dan Vorisek
Can you imagine how I felt as
I placed a perfect little four year
old girl in a body bag? The pain
and anger and sorrow? I doubt it.
How about her mother or the
drunk who couldn't even
remember the accident? As I rode
with the mother to the hospital I
held her hand as we cried, telling
her how sorry I was. I've never
been able to tell anyone about
this accident. Every time I think
of it, I can't keep from crying.
So when you're at a party and
someone offers to make sure you
get home safely, take them up on
their offer. I would really hate to
meet you some night at an
accident and have to place you in
one of my long black bags,
because when I zipper it closed,
the party's over.
Scott_ Schuller