THE TIMES, NEW ULOOMMliLl), l'A., DECEMBER C, 1881.
WIDE AWAKE FOR 1 8 82.
The Editors and Proprietors of -Winn AwakS
make the following announcement of leading fea
tures for 1882!
FROM THE HUDSON TO TflB NEVA.
The materials for a hundred tales of adventure
are crowded Into this one grand serial story of
travel, by David Her. The author has recently
-vUlted the countries where the action of this ro.
mantle story lies AIkIcis. Greece, Turkey, Alba
lia, Monleueitra. ltnssla llienee lull) Horneo
nmong the tierce nud sorcery-loving Malayst
hence all descriptions of places, people, manners
and customs are accurate. The editors do not
hesitate lo say that as a brilliant story of adven
ture It, Is without one able rival In current Juve
lille literature. This story w ill bo fully (Unstinted.
Til El It CLUB AND OUH9
Is a serial story by a boy only fourteen years old.
The fun and adventures of tfieout ofschool llleot
a mixed school of boys and girls are depleted
with the nay touch of a boy who knows he has a
capital story to tell and enjoys telling it. The
story will have thirty six Illustrations.
A LONO HISPANOKOMAN 8TOIIY
of the Second Century, by Hey. Edward Hverett
Hale, will be a leading attraction of the Christ
mas (Jan.) number, aud will at once take Its place
in the long line of Mr. Hale's (amous stories,
Oilier brilliant writers of Short Stories will con.
tribute to the magazine during the year: Mrs. A.
1). T. Whitney. Mrs. Helen Hunt Jackson ("H.
11."). Mrs. A. M. Diaz, Sophie May, Mrs. Kate
-Gannett Wells, Sarah Orne Jewett, Mrs. Lizzie
W. Cliampney, Nora Perry, M. K. W. 8. (Mrs.
Sherwood), Author of "Honor Bright," &o.
Rich material from the Folk Lore of all nations
has been given our best balladists and artists for
a series of
ILLUSTRATED FOLK LORE BALLADS,
tin the way of Informing Little Citizens about
hir future rights and responsibilities, Wins
Awakb boldly takes the lead and does what no
oilier inimazlne for young folks has ever done for
Its readers. Mr. Benjamin Vaugltan Abbott, In
THE TRAVELLING LAW SCHOOL,
will deal with American Institutions and laws i
wlille
Uev. E. E. HALE, In Ills TO DAY Papers,
will discuss In his vivid, dramatic wav, what Is
timely and important In the world's allalrs from
month to mouth.
Some highly Interesting papers, under the quaint
titles of . .
OLD-TIME COOKERY AND A SUIT OF HOME
SPUN, descriptive of early days and ways, have been
written and Illustrated atone of the oldest New
England homesteads.
BHOKT STORIES FROM THE DICTIONARY,
by Arthur Oilman, M. A., will tell the history of
certain words In a way to suggest How to Use the
Dictionary.
Mrs. Harris lias prepared a most charming set
of
WILD FLOWER PAPERS,
to be fully Illustrated from nature by Miss L. B.
Humphrey.
Among the more amusing feature will be A
Parlor Comedietta, running through three num.
bers; Games, both for indoors uod out, accom
panied by diagrams and spirited Illustrations)
and fresh and humorous Studies of Country Lite,
in pictures without text.
In the October Wide Awake was begun n
Course of Readings, designed lor our young folks
who would like to read in a thorough manner
about interesting ami practical subjects. The
magazine lias been Permanently Enlarged to ad
mit this
NEW EDUCATIONAL FEATURE.
The Reading Course for 18W includes the follow
ing series (12 papers each):
Magna Charta Stories, edited by Arthur Oil
man, M. A.
Ways To Do Things, by Key. C. R. Talbot,
"Shirley Dare,"&e.
Old Ocean, by Ernest Ingersoll.
Travelling Law School, by Benjamin Vaughan
Abbott.
Little Biographies Musle, by Hezsklah Butter
worth. Health and Strength Papers, by able authors.
What To Do About It, by the Wise Blackbird.
Miscellaneous Papers on Natural History, Nat
ural Philosophy, Astronomy, Chemistry, Geology,
Botany, Ornithology, etc.
Artists and Engravers have combined to pro
duce liner illustrations than ever belore, a very
pleasant indication of which may be gathered
from the following
DELIGHTFUL EXTRAVAGANCE I
Last spring the Publishersof Wideawake offered
American artists JOiK), lu Three Cash Prizes, for
the Three Best Drawings for Frontispiece to the
Magazine. These Prize Frontispieces will appear
In Widb Awake during 1882. The Cash Award of
4 )00.( 0, and the cost of engraving (nearly HOO.oo
more), amounting In total expense to H00.(K),
make the First Prize picture. A-Maylng, the
most costly frontispiece ever given In a Juvenile
magazine,
The Music will be under the editorship of Louis
C. Elson, and In advance of anything before at
tempted. OFFER EXTRAORDINARY I
The Subscription Price of Winn Awake Is J2.50
per year; and as a special liberality the Publish
ers have decided to give each new subscriber for
1882, whose name, with $2.60. Is received before
January 1st, the October, November and Decem
ber numbers of this jear free! Address
D. LOTHR'JP & CO., Publishers, Franklin St.,
Boston.
THE SXJIS".
NEW YORK, 18?2.
Tuk Sun for 1S82 will make Its fifteenth annual
revolution under the present management, shin
ing. as always, for all. Dig and little, mean and
gracious, contented and unhappy. Republican
and Democratic, depraved and virtuous, intelli
gent and obtuse. The Sum's light is for mankind
and womankind of every sort; but its genial
warmth is for the good, while it pours hot discom
fort on the blistering backs of the persistently
wicked.
Tub Sun of 1SG8 was a newspaper of anew kind.
It discarded many of the forms, and a multitude
of the superfluous words and phrases of ancient
journalism. It undertook to report In a fresh,
succinct, unconventional way all the news of the
world, omitting no event of human Interest, and
commenting upon anairs with the fearlessness of
absolute independence. The success of this ex.
perlment was the successor TueSun. Itelfected
a permanent change la the style of American
newspapers. Every important Journal established
in this country In the dozen years past has been
modelled after The Sun. Every Important Jour,
u al already exlsiing has been modified and bet
tered by the force of The Sun's example.
The Si n of ls2 will be the same outspoken,
truth-telling, aud Interesting newspaper.
By a liberal use of the means which an abund
ant prosperity affords, we shall make It better
than ever before.
We shall print all the news, putting it Into read
able shape, and measuring its Importance, not by
the traditional yardstick, but by its real Interest
to the people. Dlstauce from Printing House
Square Is not the first consideration with Tub
Sun. Whenever anything happens worth report
lug we get the particulars, whether It happens iu
Brooklyn or In Bokhara.
Iu politics we have decided opinions; and are
accustomed to express them in language that can
be understood. We say what we think about men
and events. That habit Is the only secret of Tub
Sun's political course.
Tun Weekly Sun gathers Into eight pages the
best matter of the seven dally issues. An Agri
cultural Department of unequalled merit, lull
market reports, aud a liberal proportion of litera
ry, sclentitlc. and domestic intelligence complete
The Weekly sun, and make it the best newspa
per for the farmer's household that was ever
printed.
Who does not know and read and like Tim
Sunday Sun, each number of which is a Oolemma
of interesting literature, with the best poetry of
the day, prose every Hue worth reading, news,
humor matter enough to nil a good-sized book,
aud Intlniteiv more vailed aud entertaining than
any book, big or little?
It jour Idea of what a newspaper should be
pleases you. send for The Sun.
Our terms are as follows:
Fur the dally Sun, a four-page sheet of twenty,
eight columns, the price by mail, post paid. Is 55
cents a month, or rt 50a year; or, including the
Sunday paper, an eight-page sheet of fifty-six col
umns, the price is oi cents per mouth, or 17.70 a
jear, postage paid.
The Sunday edition of TbeSun Is also furnish
ed separately at (1.2(1 a year, postage paid.
The price of the Weekly Sun, eight pages, tif.
ty-six columns. Is si a year, postage paid. For
clubs of ten sending 810 we will send an extra
copy free. Address
I. W. ENGLAND,
Publisher of Tbe SUN.
47-32 Mew York City.
Philadelphia Advertiscnientp.
jLOYD, SUPPLEE & WALTON,'
WHOLESALE
Hardware House,
No. 625 Market Street,
I'liUailelphln, rcnu'a.
Ready Mixed Paints !
READY MIXED PAINTS !
NOWATER.NO CHEMICALS, NO BENZINE,
BUT A PURE
OIX PAINT,
READY FOR USE.
S3 , in.pl Crl.
80 BEAUTIFUL SHADES OP ;TA1ST
BENT BT MAIL.
IT IS PUT ON LIKE OTHER PAINT. MADE
WITH LEAD AND OIL. VIZ: N 10 EL If
BRUSHED OUT. NOT FLOWED
ON LIKE WATER PAINT
TRY IX,
Aad Too Will Prove It to be the Best
Liquid Taint lu the Market.
.TO 1 1 IV LUCAS &CO.,
Philadelphia,
MANUFACTURERS OF
Swiss aud Imperial French Green,
WHITE LEAD, COLORS,
VARNISHES, &c
t" For Bampie Cards apply to F. Morti
mer, New BloomUold, Pa., or to John Lucas Sc
Co., Philadelphia.
DWARD S. ZEIGLER & CO.,
Successors to
ZIEGLER s 8WEARINGEN, M :
Importers and Dealers In
Hosiery, Gloves,
llibbons, Suspenders,
THREADS, COMBS,
and every variety of
TRIMMINGS & FANCY GOODS,
No. 36, North Fourth Stroet.
PHILADELPHIA, PENIS' A
Agents for Lancaster Combs.
w.
H. KENNEDY
TRIMBLE, BRITTON & Co.,
WHOLESALE GROCERS,
No. 605 MARKET STLEET,
PHILADELPHIA. 7 1
gOWER, POTTS & CO.,
BOOKSELLERS, STATIONERS,
And Dealers lu
CURTAIN & WALLPAPER.
JlIiAXK 1SOOKS
Always on hand, and made to Order,
Kos.530 Market and 521 Minor Streets,
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
t3.'ALS(, Publishers of Sanders' New Read
ers, and Brook' Arithmetics. Also, Robert's
History of the United States, Felton's Outline
Maps, eta.
JANNEY & ANDREWS,
WHOLESALE
GROCEHS,
No. 123 MARKET STREET,
Philadelphia, Fa.
G
RAYBILL & CO.,
WHOLESALE DEALERS IN
Oil Cloths, Carpets,
Shades, Brooms,
Carpet Chain, Wadding,
' Batting: Twines, &.,
And a tine Assortment of
WOOD and WILLOW WASE,
No. 420 Market street, above 4th, .
PHILADELPHIA.
, v.. a
CURE
M 0
i APPETISER
' strengthens tlieniusclcs.aiul gives new
I J J uj uu ililM nro nigiur recommended for all diseases requiring
on certain anil elllcletit tonic! especially IndineMion, Dywnepnut, Intermittent 2
Feveri. Want of A nnrtitt 1mm nf Strrnitlh I,nrk nt h.nrrmi . !"-!., I. . il. i.i.i P
on the digestive organs, removing all dinpeptif symptoms, such as Tatting the Food,
Jlrlrhing, I feat in th; tStomneh,lI,-(trtburn,etc. Tll only Iron Preparation
that will not Muclioii tlio tooth or trlvo hoadnrho. Kohl Lv
fill druggists. Write for tlio A JSC Hook
1115) tentjrec. jiixu .1 .;.iiij.t;
Professional Cards.
CHAS.J.T.MclNTIHB, Attoruey-at-Law ,
New Hlimin Held, Perry eo., Pa.
-All professional luisiueBspromiitlyandfaltb.
fully attended to. a 2 lv.
JOHN CALVIN WALLIS, Attorneyat-Law
and District Attorney.
New Hloomtlelcl. Perry Co.. Pa.
"Olllee over Mortimer's new store. All legal
business inoniptly and carefully transacted.
Alay 4, Mi).
J E. J IJ NKIN, Attorney at-Law,
New Ukminlleld, Perry Co., Pa.
rOniee Next door to the residence ol Judge
Junkln. 4ftf
JKWIS l'OTXKK, "
ATTUltSEY AT L.AVT,
NKW BLOOMFIELD. PERRY CO., PA.
4Claims promptly secured colleoted
Wrltlugsand all legal business carefully attend
edto. 42 yl
CUARI.'tSii.HMILKY, Attorney at Law.
New llloomtleld, Perrv Co. Pa.
-Ollicj 'wo doors east of Joseph Smith's
Hotel. August 2, 18 72
WM. A.SPON8LER, Attorney at-Law.
Ofllce adjoining his resldeuce, on East
Hainstreet.Now lilooui field, Perry 00., Pa. 82 1 j
WM. N. HEIBERT, Attorney-at-Law,
New Bloomtleld, Perryeo.,Pa.
niouiiiueiu, dlT.
LEWIS POTTER, NOTAHT PUBLIC, New Bloom,
field. Perry Co., Pa.
Deeds, Bonds, Mortgages and Leases carefully
Srepareil and acknowledgements taken. All
luils of Pension and Bounty papers drawn and
certified, will nlsotake depositions to be ref.d In
auvcourt In the United States. 7 inly
OIIA8. A. BARN ETT, Attorney-at-Law,
New Blooinlleld. Perry 00., Pa
UOfTlce on high street, North side, nearly op
posltetlie Presbyterlau Church. 8 21y
M.
L. LHJCJETT. Attobnbt-at-Law.
Newport, Perry County. Pa.
Having permnnontiy located at Newport, will
give prompt and curetul attention to all busl
ness matters committed to his care.
. Olllee.No. :)o North Second Street.
Newport, April 2P 1878
DR. 0. P. BOLLINGER,
Physician and Surgeon,
f Odlee In resldeuce on Main Street, New
Bloomtleld. Pa.
CHRONIC DISEASES TREATED. 18 tf
T sundyTmTlx "
U Physician and Surgeon.
A graduate of Cleveland Medical College.
Located permanently In the borough of Bloom.
Held. Oilers his professional services to the citi
zens of Bloomtleld and surrounding vicinity.
Culls luthe country attended to promptly. Oillce
In the room formerly occupied by Dr. I). II.
Sweeney, lu the residence of H. W. Smith. Mala
street, New Bloomtleld, Pa. l'J 6m
D
R. R. M. ALEXANDER,
S UltOEOX DENTIST,
Vow Blooinlleld, Perry County, Pa.
VOtlleenn Main Street, Smith Side, nearly
opposite the residence of Win. McKee.
Everything belonglug to the profession done
In the best manner. ta-ALL Woim Warrant
ed. Terms moderate. 28
W. ROWE, M. D.
Physician and Surgeon Dentist.
Office near Blxler's Mills, where all prolesslonal
business will be promptly at tended to. Dental
work of all kinds warrautediu price aud quality.
May 25. '80. ly.
1882.
HARPER'S YOUNG PEOPLE
AN ILLUSTRATED WEEKLY 18 PAGES.
SVITBDTO ItOYS ANnaiRL&OF FKOMSIX
UX) SIXTEEN YEARS Of AUE.
Vol. III. commences N reniber 1, 1881.
NOW IS THE TIME TO SUBSCRIBE.
The Yofso People has been from the first suo.
cessful beyond anticipation. A'. Y. Evening Pott.
It has a distinct purpose to which It steadily
adheres that, namely, of supplanting the vicious
rapers for the young with a paper more attract
ive, as well as moi d wholesome. lioston Journal.
For neatnes", eleganoe of engraving, and con
tents Keuerally, it Is unsurpassed by any publica
tion of the kind yet brought to our notice. Pitta
buryh Gazette.
Its weekly visits are eagerly looked for, not
only by the children, but also by parents who are
anxious to'proylile pure literature for their girls
and boys Christian Adrocate, Buffalo, N. Y.
A weekly paper for children which parents need
not fear to let their children read at the family
fireside. llartj'ord Daily Times.
Just the paper to take the eve and secure the
atteutiouof the bovsaud girls. ilyrintdield Union.
TERMS.
HARPER'S YOUNG PEOPLE i , Fn
Per Year, Postage Prepaid, A cu
Hikoi.e Ni'mivers Four Cents each.
The Bound Volume for ISS1 will be ready early
In November. Price S3 IK); postage prepaid. Cover
for Yol'no People for lstl, 36 cents; postage, 13
cents additional.
Remittances shnu'd be made by PostOtllce
Money Order or Draft, to avoid chance of loss.
Newspn pel's are not to copy this advertisement
without the express order of aIaui-ek & Buotu
eks. Address
HARPER & BROHERS, New York.
MTS
We continue to act as Solicitors for Patents, Caveats
Trade Murks, Copyrights, etc., for the United Suites,
Canada, Cuba, F.iiKluud, France. Germany, etc Via
have bad tlilrty-ilve yean' experience.
Patentsoblalued tbnnigti us are noticed in the Art
KNTiiio Amrkican. This large and splendid Illus
trated weeklypar,$3.20ayuar,!ihowBthe Progress
of Science, ij very Interesting, aud has an enormous
circulation. Address MUNN A CO., Patent Solici
tors, Put)', of SOIKNTIKIO AMKK1CAN, 87 PatK llUW,
JnuwYork. Hand book about Patents free.
JOB PHINTINO of every description neatly
aud promptly executed at Reasonable Kalei
at the BlooiuUeld Times Steam Job oaice.
1
A TRUE TONIC
1
life to the nerves. Tber net liknaflmrm i
fII2 tl. of useful nnd nmiislng rend-'
.... HHiuniutE M iw j
UaUlinoro,rid- 0
ii;.v:j l.X).,.
PURE
TINTED GLOSS
PAINT !
make experiments on your buildings with untried
aud unreliable autlcles at your expense.
l)OI'rr IA.Y
for water and benzine II. to to 12.10 per gallon.
ro BUY
the Lucas reliable and guaranteed Tinted OIoss
I'AIINTS.
Circulars and Sample Cards of Paint mailed on
application.
JOHN LUCAS & CO.,
141 North Third Street,
13 m Philadelphia, Pa.
HARRISBURG TELEGRAPH
FOR 1882.
THE WEEKLYTELEGUAPH
Is the Largest and Best Newspaper Published at
the Capital nf Pennsylvania, uud contains the
latest Home and Foreign News, Politics. Stories
and Miscellaneous reading, Market and Stock re
ports, etc, makliiK It a great paper for Tbe Fami
ly, The Business House and the Work Shop.
TERMS FOR 1882:
Single Subscription ; $i w
Clubs of n or more, per copy 1 00
And an extra copy to the person raising a club.
Sample copies free.
THE DAILY TELEGRAPH '
Is the only Republican paper at t he State Capl-
tal. It Is mailed, postpaid, for (7 per year, or at
same rate for shorter term.
All subscriptions are pavable In advance, and
should be sent lu registered letters.or postal money
orders. Address,
CIIAa H. BERONER,
: . llarrlsburg. Pa.
. n Hi.
YOU CAN BUY THE BLATCHLEY
PUMP
l'nlneil,or with Copper. Poreclaln.or Iron
lliitnf(s. Each one hteneiled with my nnme as
maiiulaeturer is warranted in material and con
struction. For sale by the best houses In Iho
trade. If you do not know where to get this
pump, write to me as below, ami I will send
name of aitcnt nearest you, who will supply you
at lny lowent prices.
CEAS. u. BLATCHXEY, Manufacturer,
308 Market 8t, Philadelphia, Pa.
3-For sale by F. Mortimer, iieiv Bloomtleld,
Pa. 22
PATENTS.
F. A. Lehmann. Solicitor of Amerlqan and For
elan Patents. Washington. I). C. All business
connected with Patents, whether before the Pat
ent Omce or the Courts, promptly attended to.
No charge made uuless a patent secured. Send
for Circular. w. c. tf
Patents for Inventions.
E. W. AXDEltSON. t. C. SMITH.
ANDERSON & SMITH,
Attorneys Law,
No. 700 Seventh Street, Washington, D. C.
No fee for preliminary examination. No fee
unless patent allowed. Fees less than any other
responsible aueucy. Books of Information sent
free of charge, itettreuces furnished upon re
quest w. c. tf
IMVrMTflRC Address EDSON BROS., At
111 VCI1 I UnO torneys-at Ijiw and Patent
Solicitors, 617 Seventh Street, Washington. 1). C
tor Instructions. Reasonable terms. References
and advice sent FREE. We attend exclusively
to Patent business. Ke'ssues, Interferences, and
cases rejected iu other hands a specialty. Caveats
solicited. Upon receipt of model or sketch and
description we give our opinion as to patentabil
ity, rKEK or ciiahue .' We refer to the Commis
sioner of Patents, also to Ex-Commissioners
Established lso. w. c tf
A Small Farm For Sale.
A TRACT OF GOOD LAND, containing PI
Acres, having thereon erected, a UOOD
HOUSE and BAKN. Plenty of Fruit of all kinds
and a Spring of good water near the house. This
property Ip sluated !4 of ajnlle from Dounallv's
Mills, Perry County, Pa., and S miles from the
Pa. 11. K. It Is a good place tor an Ore miner,
t erms easy. Apolv to
JOHN BK8SLER,
Douually's Mills,
Sep. 8, 1881. Perry Co.. Pa.
F
AXCY Goods and Notions, Borne new ar
rivals, cueap. .
F. MORTIMER,
m
pi
if
n
Deaf Hunter Politics.
During tbe war they bad down In Flo
rida a shrewd old fellow known as "Deaf
Hunter." Every body knew him. He
was as deaf as a post, and through bie
dealings and shrewdness he managed to
completely bide bis sympathy for either
party during the war. It was suspected
however, that he was with the Confeder
ates at beart.
Every means bad been tried by the
Union officers to procure from him some
admission of preference, but of no avail.
When reduced to a corner he never lack
ed an expedient to get himself out. But
one day a Union Captain put up a bet
that be could tap hint and get hU secret.
He accordingly went up to Hunter's and
skirmished around, bnt not one hint did
be get. He would be deaf to questions
that were unpleasant, and the inquirer
was baflled. At last there came two big
bull-dogs into his Btore, fierce fellows,
and exactly alike.
" Fine dogs, those," yelled the inquis
itor in his ears.
" Yes," was tbe reply.
"What are their names i"' in the same
loud tone.
.VWall," said the old man, " I call one
Beauregaurd and t'other McClellan."
"You do," shouted the inquirer;
" which one do you like the best V"
VHey t" queried Hunter, putting bis
ear down:
" Which do you like best ?"
"Ob, wall," said he, with a twinkle in
bis eye, " both on 'em is as ugly as the
devil."
Tbe Captain paid the bet.
The next day he was drinking in Hun
ter's store, and, taking advantage of the
old man's deafness, proposed a toast.
" Here's to old Hunter, the two-sided
old vlllan; may be be kicked to death by
mules, and bis body be sunk In tbe sea
a hundred fathoms deep. May no pray
er be said over him, and may his blind
soul wander rayless through all eterni
ty." Tbe toast was drunk with great glee in
which tbe old man joined.
" Tbe same to yourselves gentleman,"
said he, " the same to yourselves."
Of course he bad not heard a word
that was said 1
Sam's Chances' for a Wife.
If a man has three chances for a wife,
he should certainly improve one of them.
Yet Sam Hopeful did not succeed with
such heavy odds in bis favor. He shall
tell bis story :
I once courted a gal by the name of
Deb Dawklns. I made up my mind to
get married. Well, while we were going
to the deacon's I stepped Into a mud
puddle, and splattered the mud all over
Deb Dawkin's new gown, made out of
her grandmother's old chintz petticoat.
When we got to the deacon's be asked
Deb if she would take me for her lawful
wedded husband.
" No," says she.
" Reason," says I.
"Why," says she, " I've taken a mls
likin' to you."
Well, it was all up then but I gave ber
a string of beads, a few kisses, some other
notions, and made it all up with her ; so
we went up to tbe deacon a second time.
I was bound to come up with her this
time, so when he asked me if I would
take her for my wedded wife, says I.
" No. I shant do no such thing."
" Why," says Deb, " what on airth is
the matter now?"
"Why," says I, "I have taken' a
mlslikin' to you."
Well it was all over again ; but I gave
her a new apron, aud a few other trink
ets and we went up again to get married.
We expected that we would be tied so
fast that all nature couldn't separate us;
and when we asked tbe deacon if be
would marry us, he said.
" No." I shan't do no such a thing.
"Why, what on earth is the reason r"
says we.
"Why." says he, "I've taken a mi3
llkln' to both of you."
' Deb butt out cryln', the deacon bust
out scold in', and I bust out Iaugbln',
and such a set of busters you never did
see, and that is tbe reason I never mar
ried. My chance has gone.
0"At a somewhat fashionable party,
a young man approached a table for the
purpose of taking a cup of coffee. As
there was no milk at hand be turned to
Miss- and said; "Nellie, I wish
you'd drive the cow in ; I want some
milk." The response of the young lady
was ; " Wouldn't It be better for me to
drive the calf out ?"
A young clergyman in Iowa, recently
married a couple In the following brief
manner : " Do you want one another "
Both replied yes. "Well, then, Lave
one another."
I