THE TIMES. NEW HL00MF1KL1), l'A., AUGUST 1). 1881.
RAILROADS.
PHILADELPHIA AND READING R, R,
AKKANnKMENT OF PA13KNOKKTRAIN8
June 27th, 1881.
Trains Leave Hui-rlsbnrg ns Follows :
For New York via Allentowii, at 8.05 . m.
1.4 anil 4 it) p. in. . jl
for New York via Philadelphia and "Bound
Brook llouto," .:ll 8.U5 a. lit . and 1.46 p. in.
Kor Philadelphia, at 11.3), s.OA, U.ftoa. in., 1.49
and 4. (Hi p. in. .
For Ke.idlnK, at .2U, 8.30, 8.05. 9.61) a. m., 1.45,
4.mt, and s.tw p. in. .
iror riHisviiie. at. p.zu, n.m, w. . "
. m., and via nchuylklll and Husquehaiiim
ranch at'2.4n p. in. Kor Auburn, at 8.10 a. in.
Knr AllHiitnwn.at. !&!. 8.U6. .6 a. 111., 1.46 and
.00 p. Hi. . ...
Tim H.05 a. in. and 1.45 P. in. trains have
througiiears for Aew Vork.vla Allentowii.
HUNDAYH I
For Allentowii and Way Stations, at !i 20 a. m.
for Heading, Phlldelnplilu, and Way station!),
at 1.45 p. in.
Trains LeiiTe for Harrlsburg ns Follows t
Leave NewVork via Allmitown, 6.10 and 0 00
a. in . I. on and f,.:io p. in.
Leave New Vork via Bound llrook ltoiile."and
Philadelphia at 7.45 a. in., 1.30,4.00, ;aud n.3U p. in.
arriving at HarrlsuuiK, 1. 60, .:2u, 0 iv p. m., and
12.35 a. in.
Leave Plillulelpliln, at 9.45 a. in., 4.00 . f. 50
and '.45 p in.
Leave I'oiisvllle. K on. o.lna. in. and 4.40 p. in.
Leave iteadliiK. at 4.50, (.30,11.50 a. ni., 1.3i ,(i.l5,
7.60 and In.iln p. in.
Leave I'otlsvllle viasi'litiylklll and Susqiif h a li na
Branch, 8.16 a. in., and 4 4i p. in. ... , .
Leave Alleniowii, at u.Uti, M.oo a. in., 12.10, 4...0,
UdW.Uap. III.
HUNDAYH:
Leave New York, via Allentowii at 5.30 p. m.
Leave Philadelphia, at 7.45 p. in.
Leave Headinit, at 7 3ia. in. and 10.35 p. m.
Leave Allentowii. utO.05 p. m.
BALDWIN B1UKCH.
Leave HAHKISIHTHO for Paxton, Loclilelnnd
Steelton dally, except Holiday, at 5.'26, 6 40, 9.35
a. m., and 2.oo p. m i dally, except Haturday and
HiuuNy. at 6.35 p. in.,aud on tialurday only,4.4o,
6. HI, 0.30 p. m.
Returning, leave STEELTON dally, except
, Sunday, at 0. 10, 7.00, lo.iw a. in., 2.20 p. in. dally,
except Saturday and Sunday, 6.10 p. m., and ou
Saturday only 6.10, H.30, 9,.'mp. in.
J. K. WOOTTEN, (ien. Manncer.
O. O. Hancock, lieueral Passenger and Ticket
Agent.
HE MANSION HOUSE,
New llloomfleld, Pouu'a.,
GEO. P. EN8MINOEU,
Proprietor.
HAVTNU leased this property and furnished It
In a comfortable manner, I ask a share of the
public patronage, and assure my friends who stop
with me that every exertlou will be made to
render their slay pleasant.
- A careful hostler always In at tendance.
April 9, 1878. tl
FREE TO EVERYBODY!
A Beaut ful Hook for the Asking.
Hv applying personally at. the nearest ollleo of
THE SI NO Kit MANUr'AClUKINO CO.. (or by
postal card ir at a distance) any adult person will
be presented wall a beautifully Illustrated copy
of a New B'jok entitled
GENIUS REWARDED,
Story of the Sewing Machine.
contalnlnit a handsome and ostly steel engrav
ing fuiiiHpiece; also, 28 llnely engraved wood
ciits.nnd bfltind In an elaborate bine and gold
JithoL'raphlc cover. No charge whatever Is made
for this handsome book, wlilcli can be obtained
only bv application at the branch and suboidi
liate olliecs of The Hinder Manufacturing Co.
Tho Singer Manufacturing Co.,
Principal Office, 31 Union Square,
:3Sly New York City, N. Y.
4110 uuuuuj, iu a.tiuHJoa
en Mcnifl n umniMin xty
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31 4t
Dissolution of Purtnersbip.
"TOTIOE Is liereby plven Ihst the partnership
ll lately existniR between (ieo. A. LiKirett and
i. J. Delancy. of Perry count v, Pa, under the
firm name ol Ltngett u Delancy, expire,! ou 15tli
April, 18H1. by mill ual consent. All debts owIhk
to the said partnership are to be lecelved by said
Geo. A. Liitnett. nd all demandson eiiirt partner
ship are to be presented 1 1 him lor payment, until
the20lliof June. 1881, and alter that day the
' accounts of the nrm will Pa placed 111 the hand
' of au ollleer fur collection.
GEO. J. DELANCEY.
June 7. 1881.
8TATK NOTKJK. Notice l8herebynlven
that letters of adinlnlftiatinn on the estate
' id Susanna Steel, late of New llullalo boiouith,
, Perry count v. Pa., deceased, have been KiHiited
lo the undersized, residlnt? in same place.
All persons Indebted to said estate are requested
to make immediate payment and those having
' claims to nreseiittliemduly authenticated for set
tleuieut to
DAVID T. STEEL,
' May fl.lfiSl Adminlstiaior.
MUM1E Clot hs aud other Dress Goods In va
rious styles.
F. MORTIMER
T71AN:Y OoiuNand Notions, Borne new ar
U ri
ivala, Cheap.
F. MOHTIMEll,
O't
;1-4)T1IS for Ploors, Carrlaaes and
Tables. Prices low.
r. Muun-iitii.
Tlio (lovernor sols a lesson.
A SAN FllAX'IWCO papor tells the
following story :
"It's Una weather at the liny ami
everybody who can afioril it takes a
pplti occasionally out of the dust ami
heat. Last Baturday Btauford and flage
were walking along Kearney Street, and
when they got to the corner of Bush the
Governor took olf his hat, wiped his
brow, and remarked :
"Steve, It'll too hot for anything.
What do you say to a breath of fresh
airy"
" Have we time ?" Inquired r. (Inge,
pulling out his watch. Bo did the Gov
ernor, who replied :
"There Isn't anything very pressing
for a couple of hours, I guess, and we
may as well take a spin out to the park.
It Isn't worth while to have out my
horses. Let's take a hack, and then we
can enjoy a walk when we get there.
It'll be better than riding around the
drives."
Bo they got Into a coupe and were
driven out to Golden Gate Turk. At the
entrance the Governor and Gage alight
ed. " What's the fare?" asked the Gover
nor. "On'y $15, Guv'nur."
" What I yelled Stanford and Gage In
the same breath;
" Fifteen dollars," repeated cabby, un
buttoning his coat and spitting on his
hands.
" But my good man," protested the
Governor, " such a charge is exorbitant.
The law confines you to a reasonable
price for your services, and you can bo
irrested and puuished for such a viola
tion of the ordinance."
"Hang the law!" growled cubby.
"My money bought and paid for this
hack an' bosses, an' as Guv'nor Stan
ford said In ills letter to the IS'ew York
Chamber of Commerce, "Mc chhciwc of
ownership is control.1 "
" Hem 1" coughed the Governor, look
ing slyly at Steve, who began to grin.
"That's all well enough when applied
to my railroads, but but er, now if
you charge us fifteen dollars to bring us
to the park, what on earth would you
charge us to take us totheClitr Homey"
" Five dollars ."
" From here.?,' . '
" No; from the city."
" But it's twice the distance!"
" Yes, but it's a competitive 2"ill
Fifteen to the park, five to the CUM".
No hoggin' about it. Throvyh rate to
the Cliff, local ratca back to the park
added just as you fellers do when you
charge $300 for drawing a carload of
stuff" from New York to 'Frisco, and
make it $800 If you drop the car at Elko,
about 500 miles nearer New York."
It was Steve's turn to cough aud the
Governor's to grin. " Well," said the
Governor with a sigh, " take us to the
Cliff."
At the Cliff House the Governor and
Stephen drank their beer aud smoked a
cigar, and listened to the barking of the
seals, and filled their lungs with the sea
breeze. Suddenly Steve clapped him
Belf on the leg and cried out !
" By Jove, Governor 1 1 forgot that lot
of coal of Smith's that the sheriff is to
sell at three o'clock. It's two now. If
We miss that a chance to save at least a
thousand dollars will be gone."
" Good lieavens!" cried the Governor,
Bnatchlng out his watch, " let's hurry
backatouce. t)rlver! Oh, driver I"
"Here, Blr," answered cabby, who
had been leaning over the balcony para
pet within ear-shot, " Jiere, sir."
" We want to return to town immedi
ately," cried Mr. Gage.
"Ya'as, I s'pose so," said cabby'
slowly chewing a straw, " but I'll take
my pay in advance, if it's all the same
to you, gents."
The Governor growled somewhat be
tween his teeth and tendered him $5.
"Taint enough," said cabby, con
temptously. " In heaven's name, how far will your
extortion go? snorted the Governor.
" How much more do you want ?"
V Five hundred more," calmly replied
the hack man.
" Hey ?" shrieked Steve and the Gov.
ernor.
" five hundred, an' not a cent less,"
replied cabby.
"How sir er damme, sir! how do
you dare ask such a price for driving
two gentleman four or five miles?"
spurted the Governor.
" I based my charge on what the'iraffle
will bear, some us the railrouds does,"
replied the hacktnan, with a grin. " If
taters is Bellin' in Los Angelos for tifty
cents a bushel and at $3 a bushel at Tuc
son, you fellows charge the poor devil of
a rancher $2.50 a bushel to haul his ta
ters to Tucson and gobble all the profit.
Now, I ain't as hoggish as that. I heard
Mr. Gage say if he could get into town
by three o'clock he could make a thou
sand dollars. As there ain't no other
hack here, I'm as good a 'monopoly for
this wunt as uuy blunted railroad on
earth; bnt uin't so greedy. I doilt want
all you can make by uslii' my hack.
I'm wllllu' lo get along with half."
With a dismal groan the Governor
and Steve emptied their pockets and
counted out the money.
" Now, see here," said cabby, as he
closed the door of the hack ou his vic
tims. " I've done for wunst what you
roosters do tiny in an' day out have been
doln' for years, an' made your millions
by it. I happen to be able to give you a
small dose of yer own medicine for
wunst, au' I don't wautyou to do 110
klckln'. I know you kin can send me
to Jail for runnln' my business on your
principles, but if you Jails me I'll have
to have yer blood, when I get out, an'
don't yer forget It."
Hereupon the hackman clapped the
the door to with a bang, and climbing to
his seat drove at a rattling pace to the
place where the sheriff was about to sell
out poor Smith. Smith was a coal deal
er who didn't have special rates.
When the nihilist had finished this
absurd, and libelous tale he took his foot
olf the editorial desk, laughed hoarsely,
and departed for the nearest saloon.
Getting a Straight Answer.
"D"
ID you ever observe," said Col.
Gllhooly to Major Spllkins, as
they meandered down Galveston avenue,
"did you ever observe, Major, how dlfil
cult it is to get a straightforward answer
a plain yes or no, from people gen.
erally."
"I don't think I ever did."
" Well, sir," coutiuuedGilhooly, "I'll
bet two schooners of beer that we can
go Into a dozen of stores and ask If
they have got certain things, and if
they have not got them, the storekeeper
will not say so, plain out, in one single
iustance.
Spilklns investigated his clothing,
am) finding two car tickets, said It was
a bet.
Then they strayed Into a French or
Italian fruit store; and Gilhooly asked :
"Have you a green watermelon for
sale?"
"Watermelon!" exclaimed the as
tounded foreigner, "zis is ze wintalrs
season."
" I didn't ask you for any meteorolog
ical intelligence. Anybody who pays
ten dollars a cord for wood is apt to
suspect that summer is fading away;
besides, I've got an almanac at home.
Have you got a green watermelon ?"
" Here is ze orange, 7.9 banana, ze
apple."
" Don't want any lessons in botany.
Have you got a green watermelon ?"
" Z9 green watermelon Is not ripe."
"I don't ask whether it is ripe or not;
I merely nsked you if you had one ; but
come, Spilklns, let's go. He will give
us a history of the Freuch revolution
before he answers the question. Let's
meander."
The next place was a millinery estab
lishment. "Madame," said Gilhooly, "have you
a fried mule fur sale !"
The lady got as red os a turkey gobbler
and craning her neck out said ;
"Sab?"
" Have you a fried mule In your elc
gaut establishment ?"
" I've got a husband, and brothers,
sir, who protect me from insult."
"I don't ask for your pedigree,
ma'am. I've got one of my own. The're
is no insult intended. I merely asked
you a civil question."
" I've got a husband. John! Oh
John!"
" No need of calling him, ma'am. If
you will say that he Is a mule, you
needn't produce him. We will take
your word for it."
"John ! Oh, John I come quick here
are two galoots insultiug me."
" Let's go," said Spilklns. " I'll pass
an appropriation to pay for the beer."
" You might ns well," responded Gil
hooly, "for you won't get an answer
straight out. If you go into a drug store
and ask for a cranberry pie, or some
baled hay, or a copy of Pope's Essay on
Man, or au accordeon, they will spring
some new liver encourager on you or a
box of bunion eradicator."
And they went and got the beer.
Ordering John Adams Below.
ONE of the most successful of the
commanders of the American uavy
during the Revolution was Commander
Samuel Tucker of Marblehead. His
biographer, with pardonable pride in
his hero, claims 'that he "took more
prizes, fought more sea-fights and gained
more victories than, with a few excep
tions, any naval hero of the age."
The simple manners that then pre
vailed in Marblehead are illusrated by
an anecdote of the way Mr. Tucker's
commission as captain was presented to
him. He was chopping wood oue day
in his yard, with his sleeves rolled up
and a tarpaulin hat slouching over his
face. Suddeuly an officer rodo up to the
gale and halted, looking as If he had
made a mistake.
"I say, fellow," he shouted, some
what roughly, to the wood chopper, " I
wish you would tell me If the Honora
ble Samuel Tucker lives about here."
" Honorable? Honorable ?" auswer
ed Tucker. " There Is not a man of
that name In Marblehead. He must be
one of the family of Turkers In Salem.
I am the only Samuel Tucker there is
here.
Something about the young man sug
gested to the officer that the commission
which he had borne, appointing Samuel
Tucker to Captain in the American
Navy, belonged to the wood-chopper.
He handed It to him and returned to
Cnmbrldge.
Captain Tucker always obeyed to the
letter. He was ordered to the Boston,
which ship was assigned to carry John
Adams as an envoy to France. One
day the Boston, failing In with au arm
ed merchantman, engaged her. Mr.
Adams, seizing a musket, took his place
among the marines, aud when Captain
Tucker ortlered him below continued at
his post.
"Mr. Adams," said the resolute cap
fain, laying hold of the Minister and
forcing him away, " I am commanded
by Continental Congress to deliver you
safe In France, and you must go down
below, sir I" Mr. Adams obeyed and
left the deck.
- -
A Question of Time.
" it ever occur to you, my dear,
J that a person going overland
would have to mail two letters a day
from the train in order to have one let
ter a day return to San Francisco?"
asked Major Max the other evening af
ter the cloth was removed from the
table and his wife was pouring his glass
of two-tlilrds benedictlne and one-third
curacoa, which his wife contended was
the only civilized drink with which to
prepare for the after-dinner cigar.
Mrs. Max passed the Major his cordi
al and waited a moment before replying :
"Why, no; it seems to me that if a
person traveling east mailed a letter
each day by a westward-bound train
a letter would arrive here each day."
Mrs. Max answered cautiously, for
while she knew that the Major pretend
ed to deplore the fact that she was Illog
ical, he really derived much comfort
from his superior comprehension, and
was somewhat addicted to studying out
Intricate propositions with which to
puzzle the lady.
"You think so, do you ?" queried the
the Major, as though about to be con
vinced by her, while in truth he only
wanted her tocommlt herself more decid
edly that his victory would be the more
signal.
"Why, yes," Mrs. Max continued,
somewhat assured, " If you mailed a let
ter on the first day out, it would get
here the next day ; if you mailed one
the day following it would arrive here
a day after the first, and the letters be
ing mailed twenty-four hours apart
would, of course continue to arrive here
a day apart. They couldn't grow far
ther apart on the road, could they, Ma
jor?" '
Mrs. Max wouud up this sequence of
feminine logic with a triumphant accent
and felt sure that she had posed the
Major, for he did not reply until after
lighting a cigar. Then he said slowly :
" You post a letter the first day out ?"
"Yes."
" That letter arrives here the day after
you leave ?"
" Certainly. One day gone, oue letter
received."
" Exactly. Well the next day a lit
tle curacoa,straight,please the next day
you post another letter from the train,
aud "
" And that arrives here the day after
the first, of course, making two days
out and two letters received, and so on to
New York. Eh, Major ?"
If Mrs. Max had not been examining
a new pattern of lace she had in her
sleeves she might have noticed the satis
fied smile the Major had as he leaned
back in his chair and said :
" The second day out, you would be at
Ogden ?"
" Yes."
" Wouldn't it take as long for a letter
to return to San Francisco as it had
taken' you to go to Ogden ?"
" I suppose so."
" Then the second letter would arrive
here two days after you arrived at
Ogden and four days after you had left
here?"
Mrs. Max looked up aud said hesitat
ingly ;
" Well, I don't see how you make that
out."
" I did not make it out, Mrs. Max, I
only asked if I was right."
" No, you are not ; if you post a letter
on a returning train each day I say that
a letter must arrive hear each day, and
I don't care."
' Mrs. Max, how long does It take Jo
go to New York ?"
"Seven days' I suppose." .
" Then a letter a day would be seven
letters. You would post your sixth let
ter on your sixth day out, aud it would
take it six days more to return, being
twelve days after you left here. Now,
s you had only mulled five letters before
the one which arrived on the twelfth
day, how could a letter a day have ar
rived. Mr4. Max thought n moment aud
then asked with considerable warmth :
"Do you mean to say, Major Max, that
If a person going to New York posts a
letter on a San Francisco bound train
each day that it takes two weeks for all
those letters to reach here!"
"It certainly would," replied tho
Major, glowing comfortably behind bis
cigar. He knew Mrs. Max acknowledg
ed her defeat by the way she rang for
the tea, but she would not nsk for fur
ther explanations, so the render must
figure out the proposition without fur
ther assistance than the Major's hints
afford.
A Chinese Funeral.
The New York Tribune says : Trepar
atious for a Chinese funeral which were
observed on Tuesday afternoon attracted
much attention in the neighborhood of
the Grand-street Ferry to Brooklyn.
The deceased man was named Con Suito,
and he was a laundryman. Unable to
send his body back to China, 'the friends
of Con Suito were forced to content
themselves with burying their departed
oue in the unhallowed soil of the Ceme
tery of the Evergreens. Tblrty-flve
carriages followed the hearse. The pall
bearers and mourners were clad in
white. The bearers were followed by a
coach containing a basket of wax
candles and joss-sticks for use at the
burial. Next came a band of musicians,
who made all the noise they could with
gongs, cymbals and horns. Only one
woman was noticed in the procession ;
she was white, with regular Caucasian
features. The master of ceremonies
rode on the hearse, and continually
scattered to the wind small bits of rice
paper. When the grave was reached,
the musicians made day hideous while
the coffin was lowered by the eight
white-robed bearers. When the earth
had been leveled, a banner was planted
at each end of the mound. The joss
sticks were also lighted upon the grave,
burning with a pleasant odor. At the
same time a little fire was kindled at
the side and paper money was burned
there. The remainder of the rice paper
was pinned to the grave. Then the
friends of the dead man passed in turn
around the grave and made a low bow
to it with clasped hand uplifted. Already
there are a number of Chinese graves in
the Cemetery of the Evergreens, the
only cemetery hereabouts which is
patronized by them. The graves are
grouped together.
A Mystery Explained.
The Scranton Eejniblican says: En
gineers and trainmen running between
Green Ridge and Mill Creek, on the D.
aud II. road, have been considerably
mystified of late at the appearance some
two or three times a week of an old gen
tleman about eighty years old and as
deaf as an adder, dragging himself along
the double track between Yatesville and
Mill Creek. Several times have trains
been stopped aud the old gentleman car
ried off the track by the obliging train
men, who could learn nothing from
him more than that he was "doing er
rands for some one." A few days ago,
however, the true inwardness of the
thing was ventilated, and it was discov
ered that his name was Hale, and be
was sent down the railroad track osten
sibly to do errands by some rascals who
have a ten thousand dollar policy on the
old man's life. The mystery is now ex
plained, and the aged gentleman's pleas
ure trips on the ralkoad will probably
be discontinued.
Got His Deserts.
Antonito, Colorado, ha3 been for sev
eral months. Infested by a gang of rob
bers, who have plundered all straugers
arriving in the town. George C O'Con
nor, a saloon keeper and justice of the
peace, in his capacity as justice, shielded
the ruffians, and " had citizens arrested
and fined without provocation." He
was, in fact, regarded as the priucipal of
the gang. On Thursday evening,
while O'Connor was going f.-om Alamo
sa to Antonia, he fell asleep in the rail
road car, and had a brakeman arrested
for waking him up. He then went to a
hotel and abused the landlord, covering
him with two revolvers. On Friday
O'Connor rode through town on horse
back a Winchester rifle and two revol
vers, " threatening everybody." A lit
tle later, a vigilance committee caught
him in a saloon, and taking hi 111 to an
old slaughter-house, hanged him there.
Humbugged Again.
I saw so much said about the merits of
Hop Bitters, and my wife w ho was al
ways doctoring, and never well, teased
me so urgently to get her some, I con
cluded to be humbugged again ; and I
am glad I did, for in k than two
mouths use of the Bitters my w ife was
cured aud she has remained so for eigh
teen months since. I like such hum
bugging. H. T., St. l'aul. Pioneer
'resit. si i;t
)