NO. 21.
THE TIMES.
Aa Independent Family Newspaper,
18 PUnUBBBDIVBRT TUBSDAY BT
F. MORTIMER & CO.
TEHMH l
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4lou.
DON'T SLAM THE GATE.
Now Harry, pray, don't laugh at me,
But when you go bo late,
I wUh you would be careful, dear,
To never slam the gale.
For Beasle listens every night,
And so does leasing Kate,
To tell roe next day what o'clock
They beard you Blam the gate.
'Twas nearly ten, last night, you know,
But now 'tis very late
(We've talked about bq many things)
O, do not slam tbo gate.
For all the neighbors hearing It
Will say our future fata
We've been discussing, bo I beg
You will not slam the gate.
For though It Is all very true,
I wUh that they would wait
To canvass our affairs until
Well pray don't Blam the gate.
At loast not now. But by-aud-by,
When In "our home" I wait
Yonr coming, I shall always like
To hear you Blam the gate.
A Remarkable Soldier.
TOM KELLEY, a private in the Seo
oud Michigan infantry, was a re
markable man. He had arm a full
hand longer than any man who could
he found. He had no more (backbone
than a snake, and could almost tie him
self in a- knot. He could tell the date on
a quarter silver held up twenty feet
away, and he could hear every word of
a conversation in a common tone of
voice across an ordinary street. He
could run a half mile as fast as any
horse could gallop, and there was a
standing offer of $10 to any man who
could hold him down. On a bet of a box
of sardines he once passed six sentinels
within an hour. On another occasion he
entered the colonel's tent, and brought
away that officer's boots.
When Tom's remarkable qualifica
tions were discovered, he was detailed as
a scout and spy, and was changed from
one department to another. In the
capacity of spy, he entered Richmond
three times. He entered Vlcksburg and
preached a sermon to the soldiers a
week before the surrender. He was In
New Orleans five days before that city
was taken. He was a man that firmly
believed that he could not be killed by
an enemy, and he governed his move
ments accordingly.
While under the orders of Qen. Hook
r, K el ley proved on several occasions
that he could see further with the naked
ye than any officer could with a field
glass. If he could get a place of con
cealment within fifty feet of a picket,
he could catch the countersign. He
visited Lookout Mountain, intending to
epike as many of the Confederate guns
as possible. His disguise was that of a
farmer who had been driven from home
by the Union forces. The enemy some
how got suspicious of blm, and he was
placed in the guard house for the night.
There was a sentinel at the door, and
others near by standing guard over guns
and stores, but it was all the same to
Kelley. With an old tin plate for use
as shovel and scoop he burrowed out at
the back end of the building, and walk
- ed up to two pieces of artillery and
spiked both before any alarm was rais
ed. When the sentinels began firing at
him, he ran out of camp, but before he
was clear of it be had been fired on fifty
times.
Kelley was once captured when asleep
by Missouri guerrillas. When he open
ed his eyes ho was surrounded by five or
six men on foot and others in the saddle.
It was under a tree In a open field, and
he bad been tracked by a dog. As he
rose up at their command, he resorted to
his wonderful skill as a gymnast. By
dodging and twisting and Jumping, he
got out of the crowd, pulled a man off
his saddle, and would have escaped had
not the dog fastened to his leg. He was
then put under guard in a log house
with only one room. Two sentinels sat
at the door with revolvers in their
hands, and kept watch of his every
movement. After an hour or two
Kelley approached as if to ofier them
tobacco, and jumped clear over their
heads like a deer. He had half a mile
of open field to cross, and he crossed it
under the fire of a score of muskets and
revolvers without being hit.
During his three years aud a half in
the service Kelley captured fifty-two
Confederates and turned them over as
prisoners. He himself was captured
and escaped five times. As a spy he
entered more thau thirty Confederate
camps and forts. He was fired upon at
least one thousand times, and yet was
never wounded. He had said that he
would never die by the hand of an
enemy, aud his prophecy came true.
In the last year of the war, while bring
ing a captured Confederate scout into
camp both were killed within forty rods
of the Union lines by a bolt of lightning.
Bravery Among Women.
SOME time in 1871 a woman named
Theresa Maria, dwelling in the vil
lage of Fratel, on the frontier of Portu
gal and Spain, on the way across the
fields with her husband's dinner, was
told by a bliepherd boy that he had seen
a wolf prowling about. Never having
Been one in her life, she put down her
basket, and, directed by the lad, climbed
to a high place, and looking eagerly
around descried the animal in the act of
devouring a lamb. Thinking to scare
the brute from its prey, the boy shouted
at it and pelted it with stones, so Infu
riating the wolf that it left its meal
unfinished and made for its disturber,
jumping up at the little fellow's face,
tearing the flesh, and then pulling him
to the ground. What did the horror
stricken on-looker do run away ? Not
she. Ticking up a large stone she rush
ed on the beast and seized hold of him.
In vain he bit and tore her flesh ; the
undaunted woman contrived to keep his
throat closely infolded by her left arm,
while she battered his head with the
stone, and at length killed him. Mean
while the villagers had been alarmed
and came hurrying to her aid, armed
with guns, sticks and stones, meeting
Theresa on her way home covered with
blood, from terrible wounds in her face,
arms and hands. They carried her to
the hospital at Nlza, where, pitiful to
tell, she expired exactly a month after
ward, consoled in her dying hours with
believing that Bhe had not sacrificed her
life in vain. A false belief, alas 1 for the
shepherd boy died of hydrophobia a day
or two after his lamented deliverer.
Courageous in another way was a
woman at the Commune, who during
that terrible rising had worked day and
night in the hospital, assisting a certain
surgeon, whose services were freely ren
dered to men with whose cause he had
no sympathy. When the insurrection
was quelled the doctor was arrested, and
marched off to be tried by drumhead
court-martial. As he approached the
door of the tribunal he met his late
female assistant coming out between
two soldiers. "Why, Adelel" he ex
claimed, "how came you here ?" Look,
ing hard at him, with unrecognizlng
eyes, she replied : " I don't know you,
sir ;" a denial he set down to a fear of
acknowledging the acquaintance of a
doomed man. Not a little to his sur
prise, he got off, and was set at liberty ;
to learn that Adele had been shot and
was on her way to death when she
had repudiated all knowledge of him,
and forebore appealing forv his aid,
rather than compromise him, and ren
der bis chance a desperate one.
A poor servant girl of Noyon, in
France, once proved herself a real hero
ine. A common sewer of great depth
had been opened for repairs, the opening
being covered at night with some plank
ing ; but those in charge of the opera
tions neglected to place any lights near,
to warn wayfarers of the danger of their
path. Four men returning home from
work stvpped on the planks, which
frail and rotten gave way under their
weight aud precipitated them to the
bottom. It was some time before any
one became aware of what had happen
ed, and when the people had gathered
around no man among the crowd was
daring enough to respond to the frantlo
entreaties of the wives of the entombed
men by descending that foul and loath
some depth. Presently a fragile-looking
girl of seventeen, stepping to the front,
said quietly: "I'll go down and try to
save the poor fellows;" aud creatures
calling themselves men were not ashnm
ed to stand by and see Catharine Vas
seur let down on her valiant but fearful
mission.
Then ensued a few long minutes of
anxious suspense before the elgual to
haul up was felt, and two still breathing
but unconscious men were, with the
gallant girl, brought to the surface.
Nigh exhausted as the effort had left
her the heroic maiden only stayed to
gain breath before descending again,
regardless of the risk she ran.
The second venture nearly proved
fatal. Upon reaching the bottom of the
sewer and fastening a rope around one
prostrate form. Catharine felt as though
she were being strangled by an invisible
hand. Unfortunately the rope around
her own waist had become unfastened ;
and when, after groping along the drip
ping, clammy wall her hand touched it,
she had not strength sufficient to pull it
down. Dazed as she was she still had
her wits about her; and loosing her
long hair twisted the luxuriant tresses
with the rope. The rope was hauled
up, and the horrified crowd beheld the
inanimate form of the brave young girl
swinging by her hair, and to all appear
ances dead. Fresh air and prompt ad
ministration of stimulants brought her
to consciousness, and the happiness of
knowing that, if she had failed in saving
all, her brave endeavors had restored
three of the bread-winners to their
families.
A Troubled Dutchman.
THE Detroit Free Press says : Bright
and early yesterday morning a middle-aged
man of anxious look and much
corporoslty called at the City Hall and
went for the Chief of Police with :
"Haf we some schmallbox in De
troit?" " I believe we have a sporadio case or
two," was the reply.
" Und doze somepody half to get wac
clnated to keep him away ?"
" Every citizen should protect him
self." " How many dimes was I get waccl"
nated to keep dot schmallbox out of
meln house und saloon.?"
" Oh , I guess once will do."
" Vonce I Great shlminy I No more as
dot I Bhuat wait arnlnit!"
He Jerked off his coat and pushed up
his shirt sleeves and pointed to four
spots on his left arm and five on his
right, and said:
" Four und five makes nine dimes dot
I vhas wacclnated in four days !"
"How is that?"
"Howishdot? Dot's what I likes
myself to know I I vhas shust reading
about dot schmallbox de odder day In
der Sherman babers, vhen two men
volks into my saloon und says : 4 Shar-
ley, dot schmallbox is all ofer down,
und you must be wacclnated or der
gommon council will close you oopl'
So I vhas wacclnated for two shillings
und zwi glass beer."
"Yes?"
" It vliast snust two nours more as a
man comes in und say he vhas sent to
wacclnate me on der od.der arm, und
I pays him two shillings und glass of
beer."
"Yes?"
" Before night a man mit spectacles
comes in und says he was sent by der
healthy poard to see oof I vhas waccl
nated. I show him two biases, but he
shakes bis head und says : ' Dot wucci na
tion am too high oop, und you vhlll git
der schmallbox in der hands.' Den he
makes dot blase here, und I' glf him
twenty-fife cents and glass beer."
"Yes?"
"Veil, in der course of four days six
more men comes around to waccinate
me by order of der Mayor, der Oufernor,
der Bresldent, der Poard of Bubllo
Vorks, and I doan' know vhat else, und
efery dime I bays two shillings und
glass beer. Vhen I vhas wacclnated
nine times I peglns to pelieve I vas a
greenhorn, und vhen der tenth man
comes aroundt I hit him on der head
mlt a pottle und vhalks oafer to see you
apoutlt. Vas it all right?"
" I guess the boys were guying you."
"Vhat Ish dot?"
" Why, you haven't really been vac
cinated at all."
" N-ol"
" No, and you'd better be vaccinated
again."
" Wacclnated again 1 Wacclnated den
dimes I Nefor I Pefor I vhas wacclnat
ed den dimes I catches der schmallbox
und goes to ped mit him all zummer!
Dot's some close pin like I am 1"
Boy Inventors.
SOME of the most Important lnven
tlons have been the work of mere
boys.
The Invention of the valve motion to
the steam engine was made by a boy.
Watts left the engine in a very incom
plete condition, from the fact that he
had no way to open or close the valves,
except by levers operated by the hand.
He set up a large engine at one of the
mines, and a boy was hired to work
these valve levers ; although this was
not hard work, yet it required his con
stant attention. As he was working
these levers, he saw that parts of the
engine moved in the right direction,
and at the exact time that he had to
open and close the valves. He procured
a strong cord and made one end fast to
the proper part of the engine, and the
other end to the valve lever; the boy
had the satisfaction of seeing the engine
move off with perfect regularity of
motion. A short time after, the fore
man came around and saw the boy
playing marbles at the door. Looking
at the engine he saw the ingenuity of
the boy, and also the advantages of so
great an Invention. Mr. Watts then
carried out the boy's inventive genius
in a practical form, and made the steam
engine a perfect automatic working
machine.
Tne power loom is the invention of a
farmer boy who had never seen or heard
of such a thing. He whittled one out
with his jack-knife, and after he had
got it all done, he with great entbusl
asm, showed it to his father, who at
once kicked it all to pieces, saying he
would have no boy about him that
would spend his time on such foolish
things. The boy gathered up the pieces
and laid them away. Soon after that
his father bound him out as an appren
tice to a blacksmith, about twelve miles
from home. The boy was delighted
with the idea of learning a trade, and he
soon found that his new master was
kind and took a lively interest in him
He had made a loom of what was left of
the one his father bad broken up, which
he showed to his master. The black
smith saw he had no common boy as an
apprentice, and that the invention was
a very valuable one. He immediately
had a loom constructed under the super
vision of the boy ; It worked to their
perfect satisfaction, and the blacksmith
furnished the means to manufacture the
looms, the boy to receive one half the
profits. In about a year the blacksmith
wrote to the boy's father that he should
beat his home at a given time and
should bring him a wealthy gentleman
who was the inventer of the celebrated
power loom. You may be able to judge
of the astonishment at the eld home
when the son was p rebooted to him as
the inventor, who told him that his
loom was the same as the model he had
kicked to pieces but a year before.
A Sailor's Description of a Piano.
A lady of New Bedford, Mass., whose
husband Is a sea captain, asked him to
look at some pianos in Boston, as she
wanted to buy one. He wrote home the
following description :
" I saw one that I thought would suit
you, black walnut hull, strong bulk
heads, strengthened fore and aft with
iron frame, sealed with white wood and
maple. Rigging, steel wire double on
ratlines, and whipped wire on the lower
stays, and heavier cordage. Belaying
pins of steel and well driven home.
Length of taffrall, over all, 6 feet 1 inch.
Breadth of beam 38 inches, depth of
hold 14 inches. Hatches can be batten-
ed down proof against ten-year old boys
and commercial drummers, or can be
clewed up, on occasion, and sheeted
home for a first-class instrumental cy
clone."
Vatch Him Sell Dot Goat.
w
5RMAN," said a Poydras street
his clerk, " haf ve sold all of dose over
goats vat vas left over from last vln-
ter?"
"No, sir; der Is dree of dem left
yet."
" Veil, ve must sell 'em right avay, as
de vlnter vill not last, you know, Her
man. Pring me one uf de goats und I
vill show you somedings about de pls
ness. I vill dell you how ve vill sell
dem oud, und you must learn the
pieness, Herman ; de vlnter vas gone,
you know, und ve her had dose goats in
de store more es seeX years."
An eight-dollar overcoat was handed
him by the clerk, and smoothing it out,
be took a buckskin money purse from
the show case, and shifting it full of
papers, dropped it into one of the
pockets.
" Now, Herman, my poy," he con
tinued, "vatch me sell dat goat. I haf
sold over dirty-fife uf dem shust de same
vay, und I vant to deech you de pisness.
Ven de next gustomer comes in de shop
I vill show de vay Rube HoiTensteln,
mine brodor in Detroit, sell his clothing
und odder dings."
A few minutes later a negro, in quest
of a suitable pair of cheap shoes entered
the store. The proprietor advanced,
smiling, and inquired :
" Vat is it you vlsh ?"
"Yer got any cheap shoes byar?"
asked the negro.
" Blenty uf dem, my frent, blenty ; at
any price you vant."
The negro stated that he wanted a
pair of brogans, and soon bis pedal ex
tremities were encased in them and a
bargain struck. As he was about to
leave the proprietor called him back.
"I ain't gwine ter buy nuffln else.
I'se got all I want," said the negro sul
lenly. " Dot may be so, my dear sir," replied
the proprietor, "but I shust vants you
to look at dis goat. It vas de pure Rus
sian wool, und dis dime last year you
doan got dot same goat for dwenty-flfe
dollars. Mine gracious, clothing vas
down to noding and der vas no money
in de pisness any longer. You vant
someding dot will keep yon from de
vedder, und make you feel varm as
summer dime. De gonsumption vas
going round, und de doctors dell me it
vas de vedder. More den nine beobles
died round vere I lif last veek. Dink of
dot. Mine frent, dat goat vas Russian
vool, dick und bevy. Vy, Mlsder Jones,
who owns de pank on Canal streed,
took dat goat home mit him yesterday,
und vore it all day ; but it vas a leedle
dlghl agross de shoulders und he brought
It pack shust a vile ago. Dry it on.
my uear sir. An i uoi vos au rigni.
Mister Jones vas a rich man und he
liked dot goat. How deep de pockets
vas, but it vas a leedle dight agross de
shoulders."
The negro buttoned up the coat, thrust
Lis hands in the pockets and felt the
purse. A peaceful smile played over his
face when his touch disclosed to his
mind the contents of the pockets, but he
choked down his joy and inquired :
" Who did you say wore this
byar
coat?"
Vy Misder Jones vot owns de
pank
nn T'ftnal fttrMvl "
" What yer gwine to ax fur it ?"
"Dwenty dollars."
" Well, I'll take it. Never mind tying
it up, I'll keep it on." And be went
around the corner as soon aa possible to
examine the pocket book, while the Jew
fixed up another coat.
Possibly a Mistake.
" James," said a motherly woman to
a young man whoee first sermon she
had just heard, " James, why did you
enter the ministry?" "I had a call
from the Lord." said the young man;
then came the reply. "But are you
sure it wasn't some other noise that you
heard?"
(3 People never attack religion but
when they have an interest to at
tack it.